abuse

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:16 pm

This is my second visit to this topic

My neighbor is a seriously abused woman. She came out of her house last nite, in tears sporting a split eyebrow, fat lip and swollen cheek.

She has begged us neighbors to never call the police as she runs the risk of loosing her children, until......................last nite. She asked if I could hear the screams and fights, since often I can hear the TV. Oddly I can't.

She did admit finally that if I heard anything I could call the police.

Now I have to wonder if the police were to show up is she finally ready to press charges? Do I start to pay extra attention and listen for incidents? Or do I butt out? I really want to see this sissy boy removed. He has crossed the line of abusing this woman in front of her kids, as well he now hits her in the face, it's no longer easy to cover this up. Do I think she has emerged and is ready to rid herself of this man.... no not really but it is sickening to see her once pretty face messed up like this. I have never been exposed to this kind of trash before. I can't understand it. This man only minutes after slugging her in the face came out of the house and over to my house and suggested I move my car as the gutters were full of water and if they froze up solid over night my tires would be frozen in. Like nothing happened... then he left in the womans car with her bank card. He has not worked in 4 weeks, he steals her money endlessly, he outweighs her by 3 times. And has numerous other jerk off things about him. I dunno what to do. I feel this woman is in some weak way asking for any help I can offer without him turning on me. I dunno.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:18 pm

Phone it in anonymously, Minks. If that man is intimidating to you in anyway, report it. Ih, a bully next door to you.

*passing you my baseball bat to keep behind the front door*

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:27 pm

chonsigirl wrote: Phone it in anonymously, Minks. If that man is intimidating to you in anyway, report it. Ih, a bully next door to you.

*passing you my baseball bat to keep behind the front door*

Thanks CG yes I may call it in annonamously. And thanks for the bat. No he is always cordial to me. He hates and fears my dog, as he hopped my fence one day and my dog bit him ahahaha so I know he won't hurt me if my dog is near by hehehehe

BTW I have a baseball bad in my bedroom and a 4 iron golf club near my front door. I have taken lady self defense and think I could hurt him if he threatened me or mine. I have friends 1 block away who would gladly take the guy out same as would the beau. So I feel pretty safe.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:28 pm

moverguy wrote: In Texas, we load a gun, we aim it and we fire, and then we go to the assmonkeyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s funeral and celebrate

Then we smack to stupid broad who KEEPS letting this crap happen to her.

We have the women's shelter to which we donate money and furniture to every year and they are AWESOME.

Does such a think exist around you for this poor, but no so smart soul?!

yes it does and you pegged the woman dead on. She is not so bright.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:28 pm

That is good to know, I worried when you said how aggresive he is. Just say, "Nice doggie" everytime he walks by..........................

pina · Post by **pina** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:32 pm

Minks I would report it anyway so the police have it on record if or when anything more serious happens. In fact everytime I heard something I would report it, then they can visit and see for themselves what is happening.

I've seen this happen before where he stops hiding the fact that he's hitting her and and instead of the odd bruise she ends up in hospital.

He's losing it!!!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:35 pm

pina wrote: Minks I would report it anyway so the police have it on record if or when anything more serious happens. In fact everytime I heard something I would report it, then they can visit and see for themselves what is happening.

I've seen this happen before where he stops hiding the fact that he's hitting her and and instead of the odd bruise she ends up in hospital.

He's losing it!!!!

Thanks Pina, I am agreeing, he has to be reported. He has been in the past. And yes he is loosing it, he is a complete nut case.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:37 pm

do the police there need to have her press charges to arrest him? we don't, we can arrest if we see the signs of violence. many women are too afraid to press charges, so we took the decision out of their hands a number of years ago.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:54 pm

Minks - everyone is right. I like the "nice doggie" already - they always seem to sense the bad guys. I would report it to the police everytime I think something is happening. I would also tell her where the women's shelter is located and how to open a seperate bank account. What a good neighbor you have been and now she's giving you permission to be a better one.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:59 pm

lady cop wrote: do the police there need to have her press charges to arrest him? we don't, we can arrest if we see the signs of violence. many women are too afraid to press charges, so we took the decision out of their hands a number of years ago.

I think she needs to press charges..... that is how so many women end up dead or in the hospital, fear of it being worse if they get the police involved.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 3:59 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: Minks - everyone is right. I like the "nice doggie" already - they always seem to sense the bad guys. I would report it to the police everytime I think something is happening. I would also tell her where the women's shelter is located and how to open a seperate bank account. What a good neighbor you have been and now she's giving you permission to be a better one.

maybe I could lend her my dog huh

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:08 pm

minks wrote: maybe I could lend her my dog huh

Nice doggie just came for a visit.........BWAAAHAHAHAHA

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:16 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: Nice doggie just came for a visit.........BWAAAHAHAHAHA

teach him code words for sic

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:18 pm

minks wrote: teach him code words for sic

PLOTZ!!!!.....ok it means sit but what would that dumb-ass husband know.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:16 pm

It really bothers me that people refer to this woman as not so smart, etc. It's called FEAR people. Over time, this so-called man has probably told her how he'd take the kids if she ever left him, he'd hunt her down and kill her if she ever left, how she couldn't make it without him etc. Told these things enough, you begin to believe them. She is not stupid, she is plain terrified. As for call the cops or not, I can't see how you can not call them. He'll be given a slap on the hand by some idiot judge and be free to do it again and again. Maybe for the few days he is in jail though, she will see how good life can be without him. Unfortunately, even with a restraining order, the cops cannot be there 24/7. Myself, I would not hesitate to call each and every time. He knows she will let him get away with it, so maybe it will help to know the neighbors won't.

SOJOURNER · Post by **SOJOURNER** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 6:17 pm

Spousal abuse is a serious situtation. Much as she may

want to be away from this man, there is a greater pull to

stay with him. In asking you to call if you hear anything,

makes it sound as if she is is looking for an opportunity to

change her circumstances. But will she be able to take that

step when the time comes?

It's hard to watch this happening to someone. It's harder

to understand why they do not leave because most of us have

never encountered such fear as they live with each day.

With her comments to you, she has created a 'feeling of

responsibility' in you. Keep in mind, responsibility without any

power to make changes can be a no win situation.

It is one thing to be supportive and helpful, but putting yourself

in harms way foolishly, can be deadly. LC can probably tell you

first hand about how dangerous domestic issues are even for

trained and armed cops.

You can only help this woman and her children if you are able

to remain safe yourself. Don't count on one single episode clearing

up this matter. You might be called upon to intercede time and time

again before the courage arises within this woman to take a stand

against him.

You are in a difficult position. I pray all will end well for everyone

concerned.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:37 pm

Peg wrote: It really bothers me that people refer to this woman as not so smart, etc. It's called FEAR people. Over time, this so-called man has probably told her how he'd take the kids if she ever left him, he'd hunt her down and kill her if she ever left, how she couldn't make it without him etc. Told these things enough, you begin to believe them. She is not stupid, she is plain terrified. As for call the cops or not, I can't see how you can not call them. He'll be given a slap on the hand by some idiot judge and be free to do it again and again. Maybe for the few days he is in jail though, she will see how good life can be without him. Unfortunately, even with a restraining order, the cops cannot be there 24/7. Myself, I would not hesitate to call each and every time. He knows she will let him get away with it, so maybe it will help to know the neighbors won't.

Oh Peg I know all about her fear, I have had her in my house, she has been in my other neighbors house we have offered her help, support, ways out, calling for help, the police her parents, offered her money to pay some of the debts he has incurred and she just isn't getting it. I know she is afraid. But what I will never understand is why does she let him back time and time again. Why won't she leave and stay away, she has friends and family out of town she went there one weekend, but was back after 24 hours and "he" was back too. Her excuse, she was worried about what he would do to the house. Meanwhile he beats her and is about an inch away from beating the kids. I truly hope in the next short while I get the opportunity to call the police on this man and start some kind of action to get him out of the neighborhood. He is such a low life our near by skuzzy bar has banned him. In fact he is banned from all 4 in the area. Why cause he is a lowlife in the bars too.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:21 pm

Mink I think she is crying out for help. If you see or hear anything call the police. He has crossed the line in my book long ago... If she can't do it herself someone has to call LE or he will kill her right in front of the children, and then maybe harm them. She needs to get the hell out and go to a shelter now.

He is out of control. I can't believe that she has to press charges if they come and arrest him. If LE sees it and takes him, its a done deal and he is exposed. She may have to decide after if she want charges brought against the SOB...

Sorry but someone has to try and help her.. does she have family that can get involved or is she so fearful of this beast that she is beyond involving family. Remember she is an ABUSED women, she isn't thinking straight or acting appropriate she is afraid...

Just be safe and know this ASS isn't above hitting you as well.. He need to be stopped somehow.. I fear for the children ..

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:27 pm

CARLA wrote: Mink I think she is crying out for help. If you see or hear anything call the police. He has crossed the line in my book long ago... If she can't do it herself someone has to call LE or he will kill her right in front of the children, and then maybe harm them. She needs to get the hell out and go to a shelter now.

He is out of control. I can't believe that she has to press charges if they come and arrest him. If LE sees it and takes him, its a done deal and he is exposed. She may have to decide after if she want charges brought against the SOB...

Sorry but someone has to try and help her.. does she have family that can get involved or is she so fearful of this beast that she is beyond involving family. Remember she is an ABUSED women, she isn't thinking straight or acting appropriate she is afraid...

Just be safe and know this ASS isn't above hitting you as well.. He need to be stopped somehow.. I fear for the children ..
i fear for all of them her, and the kids I will keep an eye out... safely and thanks all for the great words.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 3:00 am

minks wrote: maybe I could lend her my dog huh
Tell her she can HAVE one of my guns.

St Ives · Post by **St Ives** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 3:39 am

'Then we smack to stupid broad who KEEPS letting this crap happen to her'.

Please dont ever do that - trully it is not the answer.

When you have been abused you have no self esteem, you try to do everything to hide the abuse, you lie about your injuries etc. All you want to do it protect your children and you have been brainwashed into believing you cant do that on your own. Not to mention that you deserve every beating you get.

Trust me beating her will not help the situation.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 4:11 am

Poor self esteem continues to be the reason women accept all kinds of mistreatment, and abuse. She does think she deserves every beating she gets. Or that hes entitled to hurt her because hes a male. You have been put in a terrible position because she probably would side with him if the police came. He has to go on record with the police however. Because eventually he will hurt the children. If she is sick enough, she will cover that up for him also. Try not to let pity for her prevent you from being a hero and having a hand in sparing her children. Call anonomously when you hear a battle going on. Be sharp, and protect yourself. Good luck, and thank God for people like you, who do not look the other way, and who suffer over making the right decision.

Hazel · Post by **Hazel** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:05 am

This is so sad, i cant imagine what your neighbour's life must be like, she must be absolutely terrified. It sounds like the violence is escalating and before long he might end up doing her serious damage, if he hasnt done already. I hope your neighbour can get away from him as soon as possible, and stay away. And you be careful, he sounds like a very dangerous man!

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:18 am

Hazel wrote: This is so sad, i cant imagine what your neighbour's life must be like, she must be absolutely terrified. It sounds like the violence is escalating and before long he might end up doing her serious damage, if he hasnt done already. I hope your neighbour can get away from him as soon as possible, and stay away. And you be careful, he sounds like a very dangerous man!

I have my eyes and ears tuned in and hope I can help in any way possible. I do fear for her and her kids. I also know our other neighbor (I am in the middle) is doing the same. He is afraid to make a call when the time comes so I said just call me. I have no fear in calling and reporting this guy. Enough is enough.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:32 am

Good for you Minks.. enough is enough. Make her aware that once that call is made and they take him she has to act fast, or the SOB will come back and beat her again for telling the neighbors. He will be double furious and ready to do her in. I know it sounds harsh but that is a fact and statistic bear it out. She can't think that just because he does a few days in jail that all will be OK.. Just the opposite now the problem is esculated...

There is nothing but fear and danger ahead for her and her children.. SHE NEED TO GET OUT WHEN HE IS ARRESTED AND NEVER COME BACK.

Minks you be very careful from what I have read here this guy is a ticking time bomb..!!