WARNING!! Obscene poem about a cat and an owl to follow:

[Frederick]

EXPLICANDUM: Yesterday evening I submitted a short story (the companion). Shock! Horror! The last sentance contained a word all five year olds automatically associate with a cat. But, of course, such a word is deemed offensive - that, presumably is why it was automatically blanked out. Just how pathetic can you get! So, out of curiosity, I am about to write Edward Lear's famous poem about an owl and a P***s cat to see what it comes out like. Singer Tom Jones would no doubt also run into trouble if he tried to write the words of his famous song "What's up P***Ycat"?

Perhaps one of the people connected with ForumGarden would care to comment.

THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT

THE OWL AND THE PUSSYCAT WENT TO SEA,

IN A BEAUTIFUL PEA-GREEN BOAT,

THEY TOOK SOME HONEY,

AND PLENTY OF MONEY,

WRAPPED UP IN A FIVE POUND NOTE.

(hERE IT COMES)

THE OWL LOOKED UP TO THE SKIES ABOVE

AND SAND TO A LOW GUITAR

"OH BEAUTIFUL *****, OH ***** MY LOVE,

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ***** YOU ARE, YOU ARE,

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL ***** YOU ARE."

PUSS SAID TO THE OWL, "YOU ELEGANT FOWL!

HOW CHARMINGLY SWEET YOU SING!

OH LET US BE MARRIED - TOO LONG WE HAVE TARRIED,

BUT WHAT SHALL WE DO FOR A RING, A RING?

OH WHAT SHALL WE DO FOR A RING?"

SO THEY SAILED AWAY FOR A YEAR AND A DAY,

TO THE LAND WHERE THE BONG TREE GROWS.

AND THERE IN A WOOD, A PIGGY WIG STOOD,

WITH A RING THROUGH THE END OF ITS NOSE, ITS NOSE,

WITH A RING THROUGH THE END OF ITS NOSE.



"DEAR PIG ARE YOU WILLING, TO SELL FOR ONE SHILLING,

YOUR RING?" SAID THE PIGGY: " I WILL."

SO THEY TOOK IT AWAY AND WERE MARRIED NEXT DAY,

BY THE TURKEY THAT LIVED IN THE MILL.

THEY DINED ON MINCE, AND SLICE OF QUINCE,

WHICH THEY ATE WITH A RUNSIBLE SPOON,

AND THERE, HAND IN HAND, ON THE EDGE OF THE SAND,

THEY DANCED BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON, THE MOON.

THEY DANCED BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON.

[Rapunzel]

It's just a sad sign of the times, unfortunately, Frederick.

As a child I used to love the word 'gay' in Enid Blyton books because it made me think of people who were happy and jolly and carefree. Life was an absolute breeze for them. There were no clouds in their skies.

Gay was also a beautiful girl's name, along with Joy and Pearl, which are today considered so old-fashioned.

Lush used to be a term to descibe fresh spring grass that lambs could munch on!

Not someone with a crateful of booze inside them every day.

For a language to surive it must move on, and these are just the literary casualties, unfortunately.

Sadly, we're not increasing our vocabulary with other such evocative language.

'Minging' for instance is a gross word with a gross meaning, IMO. And so many other 'tacky' words have entered our language.

Whilst its a good thing to have freedom of speech and for children to have rights, we seem at the same time to have lost our powers of discipline and respect and with them a good quality of education for our children.

[robinseggs]

Speaking of children and how times/terminology has changed ....

My 9 yr old boy brought home a book from the school library last week--a biography of Michael Jackson. Not knowing if he even knew who Jackson was I asked him and he replied..."Yeah mom, everyone knows! He's the guy that molests children"!!!!! Needless to say I was horrified.

Later that evening when reading to him the word "molest" innocently came up in the book we are reading. In the book "Trumpet of the Swans" the word molest is used referring to someone being hassled or attacked (no sexual connotation). When I saw the word, I read through, but as i figured, BOTH my boys broke out into hysterics!!!

[Frederick]

SnoozeControl wrote: I remember when the word queer merely meant odd.
Really, I've always associated it with feeling rough, or unwell. Mind you, I'd better not tell that to a policeman if his horse is on it's last knockings - I'd be arrested. It actually happened recently. Some bloke was arrested for mockingly telling a policeman that his horse was gay. What about the fifties band - The Gay Gordons? Come to think of ot, I can't even sing "Good golly, miss Molly!"

Well, what other songs can't we come out with in this hyper-politically correct world? Bing Crosby "Bonga, bonga, bonga"

[Accountable]

I was at a lovely establishment called The Brunel Rooms in Swindon, UK, when I heard this lovely ditty:





The Cockerel Song

=================

By Ivor Biggun

From the Album: "More Filth! Dirt Cheap"



Some folks like a *****, a budgie or a tit

Some take up with a Spaniel pup

That fills up the house with [woof, woof] ****

Myself now I keep chickens

And I've a favourite one

He's Dick my little cockerel

And I don't know where he's gone

[Chorus]

Has anyone seen my ****

My big Rhode Island Red

He's mostly pink with a little bit of blue

And purple on his head

He stands straight up in the morning

And he gives my wife a shock [scream]

Has anybody seen, anybody seen

Anybody, anybody seen my ****

He's a stiff necked little upstart

And I've known him all my life

He's my pride and pleasure

And a torment to my wife

Sometimes he's magnificent

And sometimes small and thin

But he puffs up like a pigeon

When you tickle him under the chin

Chorus

He has two enormous wattles hanging down

They're the best you'll ever find

Madam, you may stroke him if you like

If you feel that way inclined

Be careful he doesn't spit in your eye though

Chorus x 2

Has anybody seen, anybody seen

Anybody, anybody seen his ****

[joelat713]

How about this nursery rhyme?

I love little p****,

her coat is so warm,

and if I don't hurt her,

she'll cause me no harm.

So I'll not pull her tail,

nor drive her away,

but p**** and I,

very gently will play.

[woppy71]

Accountable;241323 wrote: I was at a lovely establishment called The Brunel Rooms in Swindon, UK, when I heard this lovely ditty:





The Cockerel Song

=================

By Ivor Biggun

From the Album: "More Filth! Dirt Cheap"



Some folks like a *****, a budgie or a tit

Some take up with a Spaniel pup

That fills up the house with [woof, woof] ****

Myself now I keep chickens

And I've a favourite one

He's Dick my little cockerel

And I don't know where he's gone

[Chorus]

Has anyone seen my ****

My big Rhode Island Red

He's mostly pink with a little bit of blue

And purple on his head

He stands straight up in the morning

And he gives my wife a shock [scream]

Has anybody seen, anybody seen

Anybody, anybody seen my ****

He's a stiff necked little upstart

And I've known him all my life

He's my pride and pleasure

And a torment to my wife

Sometimes he's magnificent

And sometimes small and thin

But he puffs up like a pigeon

When you tickle him under the chin

Chorus

He has two enormous wattles hanging down

They're the best you'll ever find

Madam, you may stroke him if you like

If you feel that way inclined

Be careful he doesn't spit in your eye though

Chorus x 2

Has anybody seen, anybody seen

Anybody, anybody seen his ****


Oh Acc, I know soooooo many drinking / rugby songs.... If only I could get away with it.....:wah:

[Imladris]

Hello Joel - welcome (and isn't it daft how things that were completely innocent are seen in a different light these days)