What can I say?

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:27 pm

I intended to go to bed relatively early tonight - 11pm at the latest. But, here I am posting on the forum. Well, I have always liked gardens.

Nonetheless, when I think back to my childhood, (yesterday?!), I always preferred gardens with mysterious paths, waterways, railways, etc. i just love 'ways', even to this day.

As a child, I must have walked most of South Devon. Well, I walked the areas surrounding Torquay where I lived then.

But my desire to explore has never died, and I still seek, even if it's more abtuse than before.

So, what kicks your sh**t that extends from your childhood (5 to 10 years old)?

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:40 pm

OpenMind wrote: I intended to go to bed relatively early tonight - 11pm at the latest. But, here I am posting on the forum. Well, I have always liked gardens.

Nonetheless, when I think back to my childhood, (yesterday?!), I always preferred gardens with mysterious paths, waterways, railways, etc. i just love 'ways', even to this day.

As a child, I must have walked most of South Devon. Well, I walked the areas surrounding Torquay where I lived then.

But my desire to explore has never died, and I still seek, even if it's more abtuse than before.

So, what kicks your sh**t that extends from your childhood (5 to 10 years old)?

You and me both.............

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 9:44 pm

What kicks my stuff is total beatings and sexual abuse. I got over it the best I could with the help of psychologists. I have a great man who knows my past - damn he's good. When he accidentally flails an arm and I duck - he feels bad.

StupidCowboyTricks · Post by **StupidCowboyTricks** » Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:01 pm

nvalleyvee wrote: What kicks my stuff is total beatings and sexual abuse. I got over it the best I could with the help of psychologists. I have a great man who knows my past - damn he's good. When he accidentally flails an arm and I duck - he feels bad.

I'm glad you have found happiness, God knows you needed it....all the best to you two.:-4

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 2:45 am

My heart truly goes out to you, NV. And I am glad you have found peace now.

I was placed under a child psychiatrist when I was five and saw him regularly for two years. My grandparents were beautiful souls (God bless them, they are no longer with us). But I have no memory of what happened to me. My mind has blocked it out and has left me with a bad memory for even the most important things.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 5:24 am

All of the men Ive been involved with in my life suffered one form of abuse, or another, from their parents. Recognizing this hurt they suffered, made me want to love them more. The scars they carried with them, distorted their personalities, and made it almost impossible to have healthy relationships with them. As adults, they just transferred the abuse to who ever was closest to them. (me) So it could never work. I am so glad that anyone here who have painful memories of awful treatment at the hands of others.. can share with each other. And find comfort. Here, is my "church visit" this morning. I am sending a squeeze to both of you, and letting you know.. Im glad your both safe now.

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Sun Feb 19, 2006 5:32 am

That's very kind, Weeder. Thank you.

What you say is true. Fortunately, I found a way of dealing with it that no psychiatrist could offer me without entering into the world of 'woundology' (the act of holding on to and identifying oneself with old scars for the purpose of gaining perpetual sympathy). This is a term I came across in a book by Dr Elizabeth Myss (not a medical doctor).

Just my memory remains as a problem.

Now, no more of this rubbish, I'm just a normal, abnormal person.