Am I being over-sensitive?

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:12 am

I am just so upset right now!

I belong to several forums, but the one that I have been a member of the longest is a breed-specific dog forum. The owner of the forum, (who will be referred to as Richard - well, we will just call him Dick to save time and typing) has never been a friend of mine. It seems that every time I enter the forum's chat room when he is there he has to find a way to belittle me or make me feel like ****. I have avoided the room when he is there in the past but last night I was feeling really low, needed some friends to talk to and went on in anyway.

So, the first person to say anything to me when I get in the chat room is Dick. He asks me a rather mundane question about the breed, which I answer in the manner that I assume it is intendend.

Then he asks me a question along the lines of: Why do I not post about my husband's successes in the war? So I proceed to explain to him that, from my husband's point of view, a successful mission is one where no one is injured or killed and that I am not sure that someone in my husbands position (he isn't high ranking or an officer) can accurately judge the success that we are having over there.

So, Dick proceeds to tell me that if that is the case, my husband is a liar and I need to tell him that Dick said so!!

Needless to say, I was rather taken aback! And I won't be going back! Which really is a shame. I like most of the people there, but it is Dick's "house" so to speak and I surely don't feel welcome anymore. I feel like I have lost part of my family.

Am I being over-sensitive?

cars · Post by **cars** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:41 am

LilacDragon wrote: I am just so upset right now!

I belong to several forums, but the one that I have been a member of the longest is a breed-specific dog forum. The owner of the forum, (who will be referred to as Richard - well, we will just call him Dick to save time and typing) has never been a friend of mine. It seems that every time I enter the forum's chat room when he is there he has to find a way to belittle me or make me feel like ****. I have avoided the room when he is there in the past but last night I was feeling really low, needed some friends to talk to and went on in anyway.

So, the first person to say anything to me when I get in the chat room is Dick. He asks me a rather mundane question about the breed, which I answer in the manner that I assume it is intendend.

Then he asks me a question along the lines of: Why do I not post about my husband's successes in the war? So I proceed to explain to him that, from my husband's point of view, a successful mission is one where no one is injured or killed and that I am not sure that someone in my husbands position (he isn't high ranking or an officer) can accurately judge the success that we are having over there.

So, Dick proceeds to tell me that if that is the case, my husband is a liar and I need to tell him that Dick said so!!

Needless to say, I was rather taken aback! And I won't be going back! Which really is a shame. I like most of the people there, but it is Dick's "house" so to speak and I surely don't feel welcome anymore. I feel like I have lost part of my family.

Am I being over-sensitive?

No, he's just as you said, a Dick! :-5 And an unsentisitive one at that! :wah: You know, since you feel so bad about losing your forum family, can you re-register there under another name? And then still be able to give your expert opinions to those that need it.:-2

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:42 am

Sounds like Dick for brains was just spoiling for a chance to get to you ..please dont let him. People like him are not worth it period .

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:56 am

cars wrote: No, he's just as you said, a Dick! :-5 And an unsentisitive one at that! :wah: You know, since you feel so bad about losing your forum family, can you re-register there under another name? And then still be able to give your expert opinions to those that need it.:-2

I thought about it, but I have been a member for 5 years or so. Like most posters on forums, my posts have a certain "tone" and when I wanted to change my screen name a couple of years ago to avoid a cyber stalker, one of the moderator's told me that it would be rather pointless. Besides, Dick is always bragging about being able to find trolls who return by using their ISP.

I have a couple of friends from there that e-mail me, so all is not a total loss.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:23 am

Hi Lilac,

you always get these mini-Hitlers on internet sites! I belonged to a good site that was run by a good chap, but when he went on holiday he made this narrow-minded weasel a mod for 2 weeks. She immediately banned everyone she didn't like - for no reason! One member started up a new site and everyone joined it. Now this woman is all alone on her site talking to herself! :wah:

The new forum is MUCH better - much friendlier and more fun.

I'll bet a lot of people agree with you as to this dick head. Why not PM them and see if you could set up a new forum between you? Let dick head join, but once he starts his crap again..... BAN his ISP!

Let him sit in his leaky kennel alone, while you guys woof it up!!

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:27 am

Oh well that sucks!

Well if you can't put up with him, some of the others had good suggestions on here! Like starting your own board, I've seen that happen lots of times, and people were much happier that way!

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:51 am

I agree he is a Dick. Its to bad you have to leave a forum that you have friends at. Can you put Mr. Wonderful on your ignore list and avoid him period..?? :-5

venus · Post by **venus** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:00 am

Lilac hunni dont let one prat spoli your enjoyment..

Wer are never going to get on with everyone so just do what l do be civil to those you can not avoid..:rolleyes:

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:07 am

Uhh....are your marriage and your husband's duties as a soldier a usual topic of conversation in a breed-specific dog forum?? That seems rather odd to me, right there. Sounds like this guy likes to have his own little kingdom to troll in.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:17 am

I think you ought to invite him here, point him out to us and let's have a go at him.

Hun if you like that forum just keep going back. Don't let him determine where you can and can't be on the net. You are as much a part of the forum as he is. If he hated you he would ban you, I think he likes to toy with you cause he is just that kind of a Dick. If he tells you to say anything because "DICK SAID" I would be inclined to politely say, .... sorry pal you mean "Dick all" to me and have a nice day. Then ignore and don't respond to him anymore.

Hey if your feeling lonely or down just keep coming back here the grass is greener here hehehehe

Huggs

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:25 am

BabyRider wrote: Uhh....are your marriage and your husband's duties as a soldier a usual topic of conversation in a breed-specific dog forum?? That seems rather odd to me, right there. Sounds like this guy likes to have his own little kingdom to troll in.

Well, to be fair, that is partly my fault. The forum is very much like family and most of the long standing members post about things that are going on in their lives and ask for support and prayers when they need them. They have been very supportive in the last several months with my husband being gone and I know that there are a couple of members there that would (and have in the past) be there for me if anything drastic should happen.

The breed specific forum is unique in that there are NO arguements there - ever. We do not, under any circumstances discuss politics, hot-button topics or religion. If a thread asking for advice on something dog related STARTS to get heated it is immediately locked or deleted.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:49 am

It most certainly is NOT your "fault" that the forum has developed into a family-like atmosphere, and this small-minded little man uses it to say sh!tty things about your husband. Screw him. If the policy is no hot-button topics and such, then why is he pushing those issues? Again, it sounds to me like he likes having his own little kingdom to reign over. He's a mediocre fish in a gargantuan pond.

I really like minks's idea. Send him our way. You've seen what happens to people who act like idiots. Maybe we can teach him some manners and respect.

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:56 am

BabyRider wrote: It most certainly is NOT your "fault" that the forum has developed into a family-like atmosphere, and this small-minded little man uses it to say sh!tty things about your husband. Screw him. If the policy is no hot-button topics and such, then why is he pushing those issues? Again, it sounds to me like he likes having his own little kingdom to reign over. He's a mediocre fish in a gargantuan pond.

I really like minks's idea. Send him our way. You've seen what happens to people who act like idiots. Maybe we can teach him some manners and respect.

Well, it is the lack of heat there that led me here.

Much like yourself, I like to voice my opinion on things and none of the other forums that I belong to liked it very much.

And no, Dick can keep his own forum. We get enough trolls without inviting in extras.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:12 am

LilacDragon wrote: Well, it is the lack of heat there that led me here.

Much like yourself, I like to voice my opinion on things and none of the other forums that I belong to liked it very much.

And no, Dick can keep his own forum. We get enough trolls without inviting in extras.

awww come on let us have some fun hehehehehehe

firephoenix · Post by **firephoenix** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 10:53 am

Hi Lilac

No I don't think your being over sensative. Unfortunately You get BULLIES no matter where you go, there's always some small minded person who needs to put others down to make themselves feel good, I think your best bet is to block him if you can or if not just don't respond to him at all, trouble is if your feeling down to start with it can be difficult to ignore a Dick H**D like him, I think your right you definately don't want him on this forum, he's sounds the type that's so far up his own arse anything you said to him would be like water of a ducks back.

Take Care

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 12:02 pm

start your own forum for the breed lilac, its easy to do & best of all free

http://invisionfree.com/

good luck

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:09 pm

mrsK wrote: Whatever way you look at things Dick is a Dick.

Just ignore him.

If you enjoy the forum stay there,he sounds like a real jerk:-6
Yeah! Don't let the jerk run you off like that. Don't give him that kind of power over you. Ignore him and his attacks completely. Chances are he's after reaction.

randall · Post by **randall** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:14 pm

:-6

RANDALL AS A SILVER SURFER TRYING TO HELP LADY DRAGON OUT - A LITTLE?

I think that your husband meant the INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER (ISP) ie.

wanadoo, tiscali, AOL, Netscape, etc.

You can give your computer a personal name if you like as well as listing it as, say, Ann's, or Jane's Computer.

I decided that I would call my one after Alexander the Great's horse, "BUCEPHALUS" in the hope that it would serve me as well as his horse served him, I don't mind if it dies when I am crossing the STYX!

You also send out a unique computer number each time you enter the internet and through that the police, etc. can track you down so don't do anything REALLY bad.

On the Internet, I mean.

Hope this helps.

God bless.

randall

"Look up and aim high."

randall · Post by **randall** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:43 pm

:-6

randall back again,

Just after sending my last post a few minutes ago I read your post "Am I being to sensitive."?

Definitely not!

I think many, if not the majority of us on this forum, gravitated from more rude and literal forums which did not suit our taste's.

I have only been on a couple and the last one I left because I asked a serious question but apparently was silly enough to address it "Dear Sir" being an old man with old fashioned ideas of politeness and all those things that are considered to be stupid today.

One lady replied that she knew the answer to my question but as I had not addressed the question to her (i.e. Dear Madam) she refrained from telling me the answer - I put it politely.

The other reply was from a "gentleman???" who said he did not know the answer but was sure someone would and then proceeded to parse and tear apart the whole framework of my letter, grammatically, and definitely showed me where I was getting my english grammar wrong.

I politely thanked them all and told them that I would not trouble them again.

Then I found "Forum Garden" accidentally.

As - perhaps - you did.

They welcomed me with open arms and were very kind to me right from the start.

God bless.

randall

:)

"Keep the faith. Spread it gently."

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:55 pm

If you do leave Id leave with a parting shot. Be the lowest common denominator and give it to him right between the eyes. Something that will stun him and make him look stupid. Something no matter what he says he wont fully recover from it.

Want some help ?

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:23 pm

Nomad wrote: If you do leave Id leave with a parting shot. Be the lowest common denominator and give it to him right between the eyes. Something that will stun him and make him look stupid. Something no matter what he says he wont fully recover from it.

Want some help ?

In the communism of forums - if I posted a zinger, it would be deleted faster then you can say Dick!

Not to say that all forums are communist - but the one I am referring to certainly is.

I will be the bigger woman (although I have seen pictures of him and I wouldn't date him on a bet!) and leave with my dignity. There were other people in the chat room at the time that know what happened. They are free to talk about it amongst themselves and whoever they wish to share it with. Remember - HE is the one that looked like an A##!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 5:52 pm

I know but.....your really wasting my talents here.

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:02 pm

Nomad wrote: I know but.....your really wasting my talents here.

Sorry, I never meant to do that! I will find a place to use your talents.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:08 pm

LilacDragon wrote: Sorry, I never meant to do that! I will find a place to use your talents.

You just say the word and Ill draft something up that will really make him feel horrible about himself. I just love doing that. :-6

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 6:17 pm

Nomad wrote: You just say the word and Ill draft something up that will really make him feel horrible about himself. I just love doing that. :-6

I know you do!! I'll let you know when I need something.