Giggle of the Day

[Rapunzel]

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me, is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front is Jewish gentleman from Poland. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'

He say, 'Moishe Plotnik.'

Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'

I say, 'Sem Ting.'"

:wah:

[Bez]

Women Who Read



One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out.



She motors out a short distance, drops anchor and begins to read a book.



Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,



"Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"



"Reading a book," she replies.



"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.



"I'm sorry but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."



"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."



"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.



"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.



"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."



"Have a nice day, ma'am," he said, and left.



Moral of this story: Never argue with a woman who reads.....It is likely she can also think.

[susie]

Great Stuff

Made my evening

[Frederick]

Rapunzel wrote: Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me, is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front is Jewish gentleman from Poland. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'

He say, 'Moishe Plotnik.'

Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'

I say, 'Sem Ting.'"

:wah:


A nun in a single carriage was being pestered by a yob who got on at the next station. Not content to stop her reading her bible, he started throwing the peelings from a pack of prawns he was eating in her face. Eventually she tired of his behaviour, closed her bible and put her hands together in silent prayer. She then smiled before saying Amen, waited until he had finished, and then cleared up the mess and put it out of the window. She then casually pulled the alarm chord, and calmly sat down in her seat. The yob laughed.

"You'll get done fifty quid for doing that."

"Sweetie, that's NOTHING compared to what you'll get when they smell your fingers!"