Hate mail

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:30 pm

So, do you get hateful PM's from the ones who just don't see eye-to-eye with you? If you do, what do you do? Respond? Ignore? Report?

I know my views and opinions are not the most popular around here, but I do have true friends here who appreciate honesty and straight forwardness. Being who and what I am and not lying or trying to cover it up has stirred up some resentments in the past, and I'm sure will do so again in the future. SO, when YOUR opinion doesn't jive with someone else's and they PM you with all sorts of nasty names and comments, what is your reaction?

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:31 pm

BabyRider wrote: So, do you get hateful PM's from the ones who just don't see eye-to-eye with you? If you do, what do you do? Respond? Ignore? Report?

I know my views and opinions are not the most popular around here, but I do have true friends here who appreciate honesty and straight forwardness. Being who and what I am and not lying or trying to cover it up has stirred up some resentments in the past, and I'm sure will do so again in the future. SO, when YOUR opinion doesn't jive with someone else's and they PM you with all sorts of nasty names and comments, what is your reaction?

I make sure I have all my ducks in a row, and try to explain my self. If that fails I just ignore it. It takes up to much of my energy to let it eat at me.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:35 pm

Sheryl_b said some pretty hateful things to me about not being able to have kids in her PM's to me. I just forwarded them to admin. I didnt respond at all. But everyone knew what an idiot she was in the first place. Thats probably why she got B_A_N_N_E_D!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:42 pm

Thankfully i've never had one, if it was hurtfull i would forward it to admin without a doubt.

pina · Post by **pina** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:42 pm

Honesty is always the best policy BR.

I always respect people for being honest even when they are saying something I don't like.

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:43 pm

pina wrote: Honesty is always the best policy BR.

I always respect people for being honest even when they are saying something I don't like.

I don't like lima beans....

pina · Post by **pina** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:46 pm

minks wrote: I don't like lima beans....

What's them when they are at home?

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:51 pm

pina wrote: What's them when they are at home?

I think you all know them as broad beans, great large beans that are dry and bitter tasting. Imagine a pea in the pod too long yeck that is what a lima bean is like to me. I know way off the topic but hey it's the Mink's way.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:53 pm

I don't know beans about beans. :-3

pina · Post by **pina** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:53 pm

minks wrote: I think you all know them as broad beans, great large beans that are dry and bitter tasting. Imagine a pea in the pod too long yeck that is what a lima bean is like to me. I know way off the topic but hey it's the Mink's way.

Still off thread SORRY.

Yuk, I hate broad beans.

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:56 pm

pina wrote: Still off thread SORRY.

Yuk, I hate broad beans.

I appreciate your honesty tee hee hee,

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 1:56 pm

Accountable wrote: I don't know beans about beans. :-3

AW BEANS what you talkin about hehehe

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:04 pm

BabyRider wrote: So, do you get hateful PM's from the ones who just don't see eye-to-eye with you? If you do, what do you do? Respond? Ignore? Report?

I know my views and opinions are not the most popular around here, but I do have true friends here who appreciate honesty and straight forwardness. Being who and what I am and not lying or trying to cover it up has stirred up some resentments in the past, and I'm sure will do so again in the future. SO, when YOUR opinion doesn't jive with someone else's and they PM you with all sorts of nasty names and comments, what is your reaction?

Interesting question BR...only 1 person (not here any more) has sent me anything hateful ....I HAVE replied, but they got bored and gave up.

I have had some pretty rude PMs as well...again I HAVE replied...some have apologised and with others we have just agreed to 'shake hands' & move on.

I've never reported a PM but I have reported a couple of dodgy posts.

It is not in my nature to stay silent, but I must admit I do choose not get involved here sometimes when I'm actually 'itching' to have my say. I value my time here and would hate to make enemies by getting into confrontations.

FG would be a pretty 'tepid' place if there weren't some heated debates sometimes, but they do get personal on occasion.

Nothing wrong with being honest and straight forward, I prefer people to be like that.

I've always tried to be tactful and diplomatic .....some people probably would describe it as gutless and wishy washy but there you are...can't please everyone.

Sorry, I've gone a bit off topic :yh_flower

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:07 pm

pina wrote: Still off thread SORRY.

Yuk, I hate broad beans.

Lov'em, lov'em....I could eat a huge plateful all on their own....

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:08 pm

Well I'm quite shocked to think that people can sit behind their screen and get so angry to feel the need to send hate mail!

Maybe I'm just too laid back!

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:12 pm

That's a serious question BR has asked!

You know, I'm still a relative newbie, but I've been here well and truly long enough to realise that this is a very big Forum. We have people from a variety of countries, socioeconomic backgrounds, religions and cultures. We have people of very different ages too. We also have people of very different temperaments: the explosive, the in your face, the conciliatory, the kind, the confrontational, the sweet and gentle, the plain rude. We have really nice people, a bit less nice people, some not very nice people, some fun people, some boring people, some totally closed minded bigots, some real clueless loser drongo idiots, some class clowns, some very intelligent folk, some very serious, some flip, some just plain lovely inspirational people. People come here for different reasons too: some for company, some for friendship, some to broaden their horizons, some to rant, some to preach, some just to relax, some to let it all hang out, some to spew bitterness.

This is the big strength of an open place like the Forum Garden. But it comes with big risks - those of us who allow some intimacies in our conversations - are making ourselves vulnerable to unpleasant connections. But if we are totally impersonal, we don't connect at all. It's a toughie. And I'm all for taking a few risks here.

It's a pity some threads here seem to have been hijacked into school playground level. But real life is like that.

Moderators need the wisdom of Solomon to know when to strike and when to leave well alone. Freedom of speech is important, and censorship is a scary concept. Still, even the most liberal democracy limits individual freedoms for the sake of the whole. You are not free to go and steal your neighbour's chickens just because you feel like it.

I'd hate this place to become monochrome.

But having said that, there are some limits! Personal attacks should not be encouraged. And trolling, stalking and messing up threads started in good will are not on. Harrassment in pms is not on.

Geesch BR - this has turned into a vent, rant, grin.. I've never used the 'ignore' option. Maybe occasionally we should. And I'm all for totally ignoring unpleasant pms too. Bin them. I've always thought that really unpleasant people in this kind of situation are attention seekers. If you respond, they get their kicks. If you just turn the light out on them, they'll eventually wilt and die.

Pam has spoken.. and this, even before I've had my first coffee of the day..

Take care, Girlfriend!!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:17 pm

Just remembered, i do get hate mail, from FG telling me Pina's beat my score in the arcade!

:wah:

booradley · Post by **booradley** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:19 pm

Bez wrote: Lov'em, lov'em....I could eat a huge plateful all on their own....

me too, nice with bacon.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:35 pm

Cant say Ive recieved hate mail or anything resembling that. Subtley pissy perhaps. You just have to choose your battles. Theres not much here that would cause me to get upset though. If someone gets out of whack because of FG then Id venture a guess that its the individuals priorities that are slightly off balance.

Nice thing is though that each day the sun rises its the beginning of something new. Mistakes happen, people get upset, sometimes things get said, its all ok. Today is new.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:43 pm

Nomad wrote:

Nice thing is though that each day the sun rises its the beginning of something new. Mistakes happen, people get upset, sometimes things get said, its all ok. Today is new.

Exactly....wise words Nomad....:yh_yinyan and tomorrow is full of hope.

Tomorrow i pick up my new bike and I haven't ridden for 15 years...I hope I don't fall off riding home

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:48 pm

Can't say that I've ever received hate mail here....am I doin' something wrong? :-3

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:55 pm

Lil~Basco wrote: Can't say that I've ever received hate mail here....am I doin' something wrong? :-3

Oh pepper......why do you taunt me ? :p

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 2:57 pm

flopstock wrote: You sure i never sent you any hate mail?

Dang, I'm slipping...:p

I know I threatened Br once with a national gun control lobby donation... but although vicious and brutally sneaky, I think i used another email venue, so i should be safe...

Gonna go start on your email now gonad...:-4

Its all Ive ever wanted. :-4

Lil~Basco · Post by **Lil~Basco** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:00 pm

SnoozeControl wrote: I just sent her one... I hope she enjoys it.
Thanks Snooze...........ya b$tch!!!!! :wah: :p

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:25 pm

JAB wrote: :yh_clap

Couldn't have said it better myself!!

I've never had any hateful pm's. Hope I never do. Recently I SENT

something that while not exactly hateful, wasn't nice and I'm rather

ashamed, but glad I didn't destroy a friendship.

I'm what I would call "new" to forums, this is the only the second one

I've ever been on, and I love it.

:-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:31 pm

valerie wrote: Couldn't have said it better myself!!

I've never had any hateful pm's. Hope I never do. Recently I SENT

something that while not exactly hateful, wasn't nice and I'm rather

ashamed, but glad I didn't destroy a friendship.

I'm what I would call "new" to forums, this is the only the second one

I've ever been on, and I love it.

:-6

I dont mind telling you that it cut me

cut me deep

deeper than even my bones

so deep I dont even know

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:31 pm

Nomad wrote: Cant say Ive recieved hate mail or anything resembling that. Subtley pissy perhaps. You just have to choose your battles. Theres not much here that would cause me to get upset though. If someone gets out of whack because of FG then Id venture a guess that its the individuals priorities that are slightly off balance.

Nice thing is though that each day the sun rises its the beginning of something new. Mistakes happen, people get upset, sometimes things get said, its all ok. Today is new.

Mostly that's right. We all have our little blind spots and bad hair days. Days when we are not diplomatic and thoughtful and sometimes we cross the line, bloody lose the plot entirely and rightly get walloped by our mates. And that's fine. We get up, apologise, get hugged and get on with life.

But BR is talking about ongoing harrassment which is different. I've never investigated the 'ignore' facility (never used it in any fourm) but does that automatically switch off pm's from the ignored person?

I know I'm being serious here, when obviously a lot of people are trying to lighten up the thread... grin... but I guess my postings here are really my response to a whole lot of other recent threads.. grin.. So I'm gonna vent, capeesh!! And bugger all those beans!!!

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:34 pm

AussiePam wrote: Mostly that's right. We all have our little blind spots and bad hair days. Days when we are not diplomatic and thoughtful and sometimes we cross the line, bloody lose the plot entirely and rightly get walloped by our mates. And that's fine. We get up, apologise, get hugged and get on with life.

But BR is talking about ongoing harrassment which is different. I've never investigated the 'ignore' facility (never used it in any fourm) but does that automatically switch off pm's from the ignored person?

I know I'm being serious here, when obviously a lot of people are trying to lighten up the thread... grin... but I guess my postings here are really my response to a whole lot of other recent threads.. grin.. So I'm gonna vent, capeesh!! And bugger all those beans!!!

I know I'm being serious here, when obviously a lot of people are trying to lighten up the thread... grin... but I guess my postings here are really my response to a whole lot of other recent threads.. grin.. So I'm gonna vent, capeesh!! And bugger all those beans!!!

Its hard for me to take you cereally

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:36 pm

Nomad wrote: I know I'm being serious here, when obviously a lot of people are trying to lighten up the thread... grin... but I guess my postings here are really my response to a whole lot of other recent threads.. grin.. So I'm gonna vent, capeesh!! And bugger all those beans!!!

Its hard for me to take you cereally

Post Toasties for the creally.........................

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:41 pm

Grin... Guess ya don't see that much of my cereal side in the FG, but there is one.. I think. Of course I blame my childhood. That class clown label still hurts.. grin. Wonder if I should shiftshape and find a slapstick av.. sigh

.. the unaccustomed strain occasioned by my unwonted cereality has exhausted me single blonde neuron... and I'm going off to sulk.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:47 pm

AussiePam wrote: Grin... Guess ya don't see that much of my cereal side in the FG, but there is one.. I think. Of course I blame my childhood. That class clown label still hurts.. grin. Wonder if I should shiftshape and find a slapstick av.. sigh

.. the unaccustomed strain occasioned by my unwonted cereality has exhausted me single blonde neuron... and I'm going off to sulk.

You are freaking out lady ! Pull yourself together !!! :wah:

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:56 pm

Okay okay... but if I want to freak out, Nomad, I'll do it. And you just try and stop me, Big Boy!! I've got the largest boomerang in the whole of Oz and it may just have your name on it. Do hate mail pm's take attachments???? Cereal... !!! You just can't spell cerebral ... oooooo maybe he meant surreal ????? I can relate to that. I withdraw unreservedly me comments about walloping your sorry a$$

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:07 pm

BabyRider wrote: So, do you get hateful PM's from the ones who just don't see eye-to-eye with you? If you do, what do you do? Respond? Ignore? Report?

I know my views and opinions are not the most popular around here, but I do have true friends here who appreciate honesty and straight forwardness. Being who and what I am and not lying or trying to cover it up has stirred up some resentments in the past, and I'm sure will do so again in the future. SO, when YOUR opinion doesn't jive with someone else's and they PM you with all sorts of nasty names and comments, what is your reaction?
I've never had a hateful PM or email. Hope to keep it that way. I have no problem whatsoever with honesty and straight forwardness but it can be done with tact. Outright meanness is my problem with the garden. Someone posted something a year ago that just floored me. You know, to this day I have never told him how I felt about his post. I had a lot of respect for this person and one post just shot that respect. I have wanted to discuss it with him ever since, but I cannot find a way to say what I need to say without sounding viscious so I choose to say nothing at all. I'm not into the pm and email people's who's views differ from mine. If a particular poster bores me to tears with every post, I choose to use the ignore feature rather than tell them they bore me. They have every right to state their opinion and others may actually enjoy their posts. Okay, I'm done rambling now.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:08 pm

AussiePam wrote: Okay okay... but if I want to freak out, Nomad, I'll do it. And you just try and stop me, Big Boy!! I've got the largest boomerang in the whole of Oz and it may just have your name on it. Do hate mail pm's take attachments???? Cereal... !!! You just can't spell cerebral ... oooooo maybe he meant surreal ????? I can relate to that. I withdraw unreservedly me comments about walloping your sorry a$$

Oh my God......its worse than I thought :rolleyes: :p

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:09 pm

Peg wrote: I've never had a hateful PM or email. Hope to keep it that way. I have no problem whatsoever with honesty and straight forwardness but it can be done with tact. Outright meanness is my problem with the garden. Someone posted something a year ago that just floored me. You know, to this day I have never told him how I felt about his post. I had a lot of respect for this person and one post just shot that respect. I have wanted to discuss it with him ever since, but I cannot find a way to say what I need to say without sounding viscious so I choose to say nothing at all. I'm not into the pm and email people's who's views differ from mine. If a particular poster bores me to tears with every post, I choose to use the ignore feature rather than tell them they bore me. They have every right to state their opinion and others may actually enjoy their posts. Okay, I'm done rambling now.

Your not rambling Peg. Well said.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:13 pm

I like rambling. My first car was a Rambler.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:19 pm

Accountable wrote: I like rambling. My first car was a Rambler.

Wow.

Kind of a cross between a refrigerator and a bathtub with a Lindy motor right ?

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:22 pm

Accountable wrote: I like rambling. My first car was a Rambler.

you are old that was my moms first car too

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:22 pm

BabyRider wrote: So, do you get hateful PM's from the ones who just don't see eye-to-eye with you? If you do, what do you do? Respond? Ignore? Report?

I know my views and opinions are not the most popular around here, but I do have true friends here who appreciate honesty and straight forwardness. Being who and what I am and not lying or trying to cover it up has stirred up some resentments in the past, and I'm sure will do so again in the future. SO, when YOUR opinion doesn't jive with someone else's and they PM you with all sorts of nasty names and comments, what is your reaction?

Report - instantly and without thinking about it.

If someone carries over a public discussion into private animosity then the admin should know. If it's an isolated incident then a quiet word may be in order but only the admin will know that.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:23 pm

Nomad wrote: Oh my God......its worse than I thought :rolleyes: :p

Stone the crows I am worse than he thought

Angelic's my name !!! But in short

Those who have metter

Know the bad Pam is better

And with luck she will never get caught

tlw from moi ... work calls.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Mon Mar 27, 2006 4:24 pm

BabyRider wrote: So, do you get hateful PM's from the ones who just don't see eye-to-eye with you? If you do, what do you do? Respond? Ignore? Report?

I know my views and opinions are not the most popular around here, but I do have true friends here who appreciate honesty and straight forwardness. Being who and what I am and not lying or trying to cover it up has stirred up some resentments in the past, and I'm sure will do so again in the future. SO, when YOUR opinion doesn't jive with someone else's and they PM you with all sorts of nasty names and comments, what is your reaction?
ignore 'em. if they can't be grown up enough to speak to you in a mature fashion, they aren't worth the time.

ain't that right Sheryl??:yh_whistl