ongoing saga of domestic violence

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:05 pm

OpenMind wrote: Are you saying that wife-beating is not a crime in Canada?

I am saying medical staff can't report it as abuse. As for it being a crime I am still searching. I know physical force is a crime.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:09 pm

Minks, you keep mentioning they have sons. Do they witness the abuse? I'm just wondering because the cycle can be spread if the sons think it's ok to abuse thier significant other or spouse.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:11 pm

Sheryl wrote: Minks, you keep mentioning they have sons. Do they witness the abuse? I'm just wondering because the cycle can be spread if the sons think it's ok to abuse thier significant other or spouse.

well I do believe the last time she and I talked she was struck in front of her son. And I don't think he is oblivious to this all, they (all 3 kids) I am sure have heard their fights in the past, as well I think now that the marks are showing up on her face the jerk isn't going to care if these kids see anymore. See they kids are hers, he is her common law boyfriend.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:28 pm

Diuretic wrote: Criminal Code minks

http://www.canlii.org/ca/sta/c-46/sec265.html

my thanks

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:58 pm

minks wrote: well I do believe the last time she and I talked she was struck in front of her son. And I don't think he is oblivious to this all, they (all 3 kids) I am sure have heard their fights in the past, as well I think now that the marks are showing up on her face the jerk isn't going to care if these kids see anymore. See they kids are hers, he is her common law boyfriend.

That's sad. How old are the boys. I would think they wouldn't stand for someone beating their mother.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:01 pm

Sheryl wrote: That's sad. How old are the boys. I would think they wouldn't stand for someone beating their mother.

ummm 10 and 12 I think

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:50 pm

I agree with Clipper turn the AH in now, it will on continue to exculate until she is killed or seriously hurt. If he hit her he will hit the kids next, and pets as well he is an abuser plain and simple he needs to be stopped. :-5 Just my opinion I can't stand anyone who abuses anyone or anything..

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Wed Apr 05, 2006 3:07 am

minks wrote: ummm 10 and 12 I think

What about social services the kids are 10/12 i personally would call social services and make them aware of the situation reguarding the safty of the kids when they visit -

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:16 pm

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: What about social services the kids are 10/12 i personally would call social services and make them aware of the situation reguarding the safty of the kids when they visit -

Social services is aware of the fact this goes on, and of the kids. The situation with the kids is they have been removed from full time custody with their mother to part with their father and part with her. Sooooo when the abuse happens and I happen to notice it generally the kids are away. If the kids are there I generally am not aware of it cause they tend to keep the kids inside. As the weather warms up more I may see more of these kids outside with their friends.

Basically what it boils down to is if I hear anything I call the police and it is their call from there. I can do no more beyond that.

Sorry to bring this forward again

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 8:04 am

Diuretic wrote: Minks I don't know what jurisdiction you're in in Canada but many larger jurisdictions have Victim Services attached to their local police department so you might be able to speak to them in confidence without having to immediately talk to a police officer about this. The police response is limited. It's to go in, make an arrest and put an offender before a court. This might need a bit more of a mult-faceted approach.

Large city, however they police will only take the offender away, if the woman says yes to pressing charges. They have been there before and she has already said, "no things are fine" She has lost full custody of her children already because she allows this man to still live there, she has left her house in fear another time and he destroyed it, the police took him away over night and returne her to the ruins, and guess what the next day he was back. This is not old news either, this happened last summer. EVERYTHING revolves around her pressing charges, her making the calls her taking a stand. I know Victim Assistance is linked to the police, but it all falls onto her shoulders as to how far she is willing to take it. Now, if this man threatens me, or my daughter you can bet I will call and see to it he is locked up. But much like the medical staff, we are helpless.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:31 am

Minks please don't compromise your safty if you are worried about your daughter and animals would it be possible to buy a cheap cctv system, maybe a plug and play rigged up to your video just to be on the safe side in case this guy gets any ideas.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:50 am

pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: Minks please don't compromise your safty if you are worried about your daughter and animals would it be possible to buy a cheap cctv system, maybe a plug and play rigged up to your video just to be on the safe side in case this guy gets any ideas.

Seems to point to this doesn't it... "mind my own business to keep safe" . Seems my hands are tied I can't offer any more help to this woman till she decides to help herself. I am fortunate that my father has a very good friend who lives about a half a block away from me and if anything were to become threatening to me or mine, this man is a mere phone call away as he has been told all about what I live next to. As well there is my father, brother, boyfriend and even ex-husband all within decent closeness to us who are aware and woud be at my house in a heartbeat. So I guess I just butt out and leave it all alone.