Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Dear 4Rum:

Back in post seventy-four,

You HAD my knickers and more,

Now Tarzan's at hand,

To "monkey sit" and. . .

We can make nookie galore!!


I'm particularly fond of nookie

Certainly not a rookie

I could make book

On the knack of your nook

Without even consulting my bookie
User avatar
chrisb84uk
Posts: 11634
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2005 6:29 am

Monkey

Post by chrisb84uk »

:wah: It seems as though you guys are really enjoying this!! Who knew so much could have to be said about monkeys? hahahaha.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

There's quite more than you'd expect

Just let yourself stop to reflect

There's poo pollution

Evolution

And we're still covering sex
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Uh Ohhhhhhhh

Miss Monkey got drunk and went out,

She found a new monkey with clout,

She said of his willie,

"My, my, what a dillie!"

She's pleased with herself, no doubt.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey took a trip to the beach

Where he met a lovely young peach

Tho it was wrong

He pulled up her thong

Till Pismo was side by each

.......................woo hoo
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey got knocked for a loop,

For pulling the thong of Miss Snoop,

The girl knew karate,

She gave him a swate,

And tossed him aside with a whoop!

:wah:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Miss Snoop sure got monkies attention

Smacked too many bruises to mention

Left him too edgy

To give more wedgies

Unless he can find an extension
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey met an Easter bunny

What happened next wasn't funny

Checked 'er eggs

Then checked 'er leggs

Left 'em both a little runny
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey now sits in the doctors chair,

Wondering what's going on "down there"

It's itchy and red,

So let it be said,

"It's the clap, so you better beware!"
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Poor Monkey is feeling distress,

His privates are looking a mess,

No way can he play,

When he's feelin' this way,

His urges he must now supress!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Miss Monkey is still not tellin'

Though Monkey in pain is yellin'

She hopes in vain

To cure the pain

But somehow maintain the swellin'
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

This thread is too frikkin' quiet

Know a good poem then apply it

Samantha come quick

We'll turn up the wick

Then maybe we'll start a riot
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey's almost done chillin'

He's horny, ready an' willin'

Doc had to say

Just one more day

To wait for the penicillen
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Thanx all for your tolerance of newbies

Your friendship is worth more than rubies

But I must confess

And yes I digress

It's not near as nice as Ruby's boobies
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Monkey's almost done chillin'

He's horny, ready an' willin'

Doc had to say

Just one more day

To wait for the penicillen


Miss Monkey will NOT touch that willy,

She's hopin' that Monkey feels silly,

When the "fection is gone,

It won't take him long,

He'll be after just any ol' filly!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Well you've finally figured him out

You know what Monkey's about

Has no intention

Of monogamous attention

Miss Monkey will just have to pout
SweetDarlin
Posts: 1121
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 10:53 am

Monkey

Post by SweetDarlin »

Monkey's intentions are clear

Perhaps he seeks a new peer

one with whom he can romp

and still with others stomp

and still be found a dear



(okay that was rough...give me time)
[FONT=Georgia]

[/FONT]
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkeys are endearing critters

Set all the treetops atwitter

Dine on fine fruits

Crack monkey poots

And just perch on a branch for a shi**er

................DUCK AND COVER !!!!....................



............................................................welcome SweetDarlin
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: This thread is too frikkin' quiet

Know a good poem then apply it

Samantha come quick

We'll turn up the wick

Then maybe we'll start a riot


My lord, doth thou speak of me wick?

Kind sir, my passions rise quick!

Hearest me well

Lest I shalt tell

I fearest thou tempest a trick!

Welcome aboard SweetDarlin!!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Well you've finally figured him out

You know what Monkey's about

Has no intention

Of monogamous attention

Miss Monkey will just have to pout


Miss Monkey is feeling neglected,

She feels she isn't respected,

I told her "Don't mope,

Get out there and cope,

YOU aren't the one who's infected!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

SweetDarlin wrote: Monkey's intentions are clear

Perhaps he seeks a new peer

one with whom he can romp

and still with others stomp

and still be found a dear



(okay that was rough...give me time)


Take your time. . . I'm happy to see you here.

Hey, maybe we can gang up on Monkey and get the little bugger "fixed"
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey may not know his hence from his whences

Don't need a thither to climb over fences

Never mind yon gate

He'll negotiate

To pleasure your sensibility and senses
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum, you must be confused,

By Monkey I am not amused,

It's you I desire,

Come light my fire,

I'll leave that monkey -- unused.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Here I come, you've got me sweetie

I like your call, yes indeedy

Been savin' up

I'm a rowdy pup

You should probably eat your wheaties
User avatar
Accountable
Posts: 24818
Joined: Mon May 30, 2005 8:33 am

Monkey

Post by Accountable »

*scribble* *snap* take notes and piccies

Recording every little tricksy.

Where'd you putcha ...?

You stretch first, dontcha?

I'll call my book the Garden Sutra. :sneaky:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Good idea!!!...your decision

A useful guide you invision

But here's a clue

Just for you

"Split Bamboo" ain't for fishin'
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Oh $#%^ did he just take our pic?

Dear 4Rum, please answer me quick!

I think we've been had,

By this curious cad,

I hope, it's only a trick.

:lips:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

You may be right, there was a flash

It came from the window sash

So I suppose

We've been 'exposed'

Hope he at least shares the cash
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Our monkey sure is fascinated

With boobs and how their situated

Ogles at the shape and size

Seeks to win a booby prize

You might say he's titillated

:yh_monkey
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Two little monkeys, sittin' in a tree

One was a he, one was a she

Touched the cutie

On her booty

........One little monkey, sittin' in a tree.....................

:yh_monkey
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum;

Since we have both been exposed,

And caught while superimposed,

Let's take advantage,

Of this disadvantage,

And head to a spot, undisclosed!

:D
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey was feeling real spiffy,

On Monkey she'd go pull a tricky,

To his tree she did go,

With a big fat pink bow,

And she tied it around his wee dicky!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Dear 4Rum;

Since we have both been exposed,

And caught while superimposed,

Let's take advantage,

Of this disadvantage,

And head to a spot, undisclosed!

:D


I think I know just the place

Our Meadow has plenty of space

A secluded stream

A veil of dreams

Shaded by tidings of grace
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey was feeling real spiffy,

On Monkey she'd go pull a tricky,

To his tree she did go,

With a big fat pink bow,

And she tied it around his wee dicky!!


Poor Monkey so accoutered

Was left un-bootied, un-hootered

Fettered so

By the bow

Might as well have been neutered!

:yh_monkey
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

As these little zingers get fresher

As we rack our brains for your pleasure

We hope you can chuckle

As feeble minds buckle

And hope we don't crack under pressure :-3
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

ayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

Anyone care for my health???

Feel like I'm flyin' a "stealth"

Snivel an' mumble

Whine an' grumble

Guess I'll go talk to myself

...Samantha ??? ...Pam ??? ACC???...anybody???
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Pooooooor little monkey all alone

Not a friend or even a clone

No one to feed him

So when you need him

He won't hear you p**s and moan

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Wait a minute....things look better

Somebody sent a baby setter

My little butt'll

Enjoy a cuddle

If she wants to... I think I'll let 'er

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey was feeling remose.

She shouldn't she knew, of course,

So off she did go,

To untie his bow,

Then maybe she'd take him by force.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey was feeling remose.

She shouldn't she knew, of course,

So off she did go,

To untie his bow,

Then maybe she'd take him by force.


......unh, uh........ooooh no....

Monkey has learned his lesson

With her he won't be messin'

Till SHE is willin'

For penecillin

And a nice little GYN session
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: I think I know just the place

Our Meadow has plenty of space

A secluded stream

A veil of dreams

Shaded by tidings of grace




Our Meadow would be just sublime,

You may take me there any time,

We'll sit my the shore,

With flowers galore,

Then into your lap I will climb.

:yh_flower
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

So quiet in the afternoon

Time to part comes much to soon

Lay the flower to the side

By the vow now abide

Till time again is opportune
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey's finally on the mend

Time to rip and tear again

Put a lock on the likker

Put another on your knickers

He's rough an' ready now my friend

:yh_monkey
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey is now full of smiles,

She told me of Monkeys new trials,

It seems he got drunk,

And mounted a skunk,

And now you can smell him for miles.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Can you even imagine that

Monkey and a lady polecat

One sip of Smirnoff

Her knickers she doffed

And then traded tit for tat
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey is being chastized,

He shouldn't be very surprised,

He knew very well,

That he would smell,

His sex-life is now compromised!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey didn't take time to think

So please don't think he's a fink

Such was his hurry

He couldn't worry

Just happy to get back in "the pink"
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey devised a plan,

She got t'mato juice in a can,

She said, "Monkey dear,

That stench, this will clear,"

But he took one look, and he ran!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey had seen Bloody Marys

But a bloody monkey seemed garrish

The look in 'er eye

Made monkey cry..........

"This is all bloody scary"!!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

So with his ego a smartin'

Disheveled and disheartened

He decided to flee

And now you will see

His face on every milk carton
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