Bullies

[Valerie100]

I was just wondering what everyone's thoughts and views were on bullies. As we all know, bullies come in all shapes and sizes, starting as kids and on up into adulthood, at work, in the neighborhood -- wherever. They're out there.

In my opinion, bullies are probably attention starved and control freaks. They need to run the show and will go to any lengths to do so. They probably didn't get enough love from their parents as children, need the attention, and the only way they can feel good about themselves and how powerful they are is to gang up on someone who lacks their same physical strength, mental know-how, or as adults, connections. Bullies are truly the real weaklings! Bullies run in packs. Rarely, if ever, will they confront someone on an one-to-one basis. It's when you actually get a bully alone that you can see their true colors.

So what are the FG-ers opiniones on bullies? Why do you think?

[Nomad]

Valerie100 wrote: I was just wondering what everyone's thoughts and views were on bullies. As we all know, bullies come in all shapes and sizes, starting as kids and on up into adulthood, at work, in the neighborhood -- wherever. They're out there.



In my opinion, bullies are probably attention starved and control freaks. They need to run the show and will go to any lengths to do so. They probably didn't get enough love from their parents as children, need the attention, and the only way they can feel good about themselves and how powerful they are is to gang up on someone who lacks their same physical strength, mental know-how, or as adults, connections. Bullies are truly the real weaklings! Bullies run in packs. Rarely, if ever, will they confront someone on an one-to-one basis. It's when you actually get a bully alone that you can see their true colors.



So what are the FG-ers opiniones on bullies? Why do you think?




Ok but you dont have to get personal

[golem]

Bullies are a fact of life. They have always been with us, they are with us now, and they always will be. It’s part of human nature that some people will for whatever reason be bullies much as some people will be victims.

To try to stamp out bullying is futile and, unless the bullying is extreme, not in the best interests of anyone.

Look, life is unfair. People are NOT all equal and it’s silly to pretend that they are and worse yet to act as if they were.

To bring kids up in a closeted environment where everything is candy coated and nothing hurts is actually cruel in the extreme as the moment the hit the streets they find that they are then at a huge disadvantage compared to those who have taken their knocks.

Kids need to develop a degree of mental robustness. They need to learn that they will fail at some things and most importantly how to cope with that.

They also need to learn that they will always meet bullies and how to cope with them and that although there are times that confrontation often works on the basis that most bullies are cowards, there are also times when there IS no way to deal with a bully other than get out of his – or her – sphere of influence.

Failure to learn this and the appropriate skills results in an adult who is in part dysfunctional and at best has to learn in adulthood the lessons that they should have learned in the nursery.

There is another side to this. Bullies will exploit the people who have been protected from them. I’ve seen it happen again and again, especially with the younger people coming into industry. They simply don’t have the social skills or the mental strength to deal with bullying.

Uncontrolled or excessive bullying is undeniably wrong. A degree of rough treatment on the other hand builds strength of character and installs the means of dealing with bullying in the future.

[BabyRider]

My opinion? You can only be bullied as much as you allow yourself to be.

[golem]

There’s a very great deal of truth in that.

Where it falls down is when you have to face some nasty sadistic creep who has a position of power where he can make your life a living hell and you have no recourse other than walk.

[gordonartist]

I have to disagree with a lot of what is being said.

Bullies can be of any age. A teenage bully, for example, can target anyone of any age. I know because a teenage bully cost me 10 years of my life.

This particular bully is still at large. She "runs" the nurse part of the local emergency department of the local base hospital. She is responsible for the end of the careers of at least three highly trained professionals. She is responsible for millions of dollars of taxpayers money used in compensation cases, and untold personal damage to a lot of people.

By some standards she is considered "successful" and "highly competent".

Words cannot express my feelings.

Gordon.

[abbey]

Bullying comes in many guises, the silent faceless ones are the worst.

Very sad individuals and very cowardly.

[Valerie100]

Running from a bully is exactly what they want. I don't know about anyone else, but I WILL NOT RUN from a bully. I'm not going to give that kind of power and control to ANYONE -- unless, of course, it's at knife or gunpoint.

Thinking back to when I was in the 5th or 6th grade, there was this mean bully named Michael, who always picked on me. He would pull my hair, give me dirty looks and say mean things. He was just a mean kid. One day, Mike got into a fight on the school bus. He ended up with a bloody nose. As he sat there with blood dripping down his face and wiping it away with his hand, I reached into my school bag and gave him a tissue. After that day, my bully started being nice to me and became a friend. Apparently, a simple act of kindness can do the trick!



P.S. We all have personal strength. I don't care who you are; you have personal strength. Never be afraid to show it.

[Nomad]

I was 17 and standing on the corner waiting for a bus with my girlfriend. An older guy and a younger guy came up on us, they were drinking and being stupid. The younger guy all of a sudden broke the bottle and stuck the jagged edge against my throat. He was taunting me and I didnt do anything, I froze, I didnt know what to do, I could feel the jagged glass against my throat amd I dont mind telling you I was terrified, so I just stood there.

The older guy was chuckling and telling him to calm down and eventually the bus came and we got on leaving them behind.

The very worst part of it was the shame I felt in front of my girlfriend. That stuck with me for a long time.

[BabyRider]

Diuretic wrote: Because you were smart you had a long time after the event. If you'd indulged in showing how brave you were you would have been in Emergency in the nearest hospital.
I completely agree. Had you gotten sliced up it would have been much worse for both you and your girlfriend. I think you handled it perfectly.

[pantsonfire321@aol.com]

Nomad wrote: I was 17 and standing on the corner waiting for a bus with my girlfriend. An older guy and a younger guy came up on us, they were drinking and being stupid. The younger guy all of a sudden broke the bottle and stuck the jagged edge against my throat. He was taunting me and I didnt do anything, I froze, I didnt know what to do, I could feel the jagged glass against my throat amd I dont mind telling you I was terrified, so I just stood there.

The older guy was chuckling and telling him to calm down and eventually the bus came and we got on leaving them behind.

The very worst part of it was the shame I felt in front of my girlfriend. That stuck with me for a long time.


I've alway's believed it take's a braver man to walk away from a fist fight .

[Peg]

I just don't understand bullies. I've just never had the need to bully someone to make me feel better about myself.

[Shweet tatersalad]

What a strange subject too discuss.Nomad you were right too not react,you might not have feared well.Good job on your part.Now back too bullies.

It is a bully that made me the person I was back then.

In the fifth grade I had a taecher who made it a point too make my life terrible.

Perhaps it ewas because i was the smallest kid,or had a diffrent name. who knows.

But I will never forget him.

I sat in front of his desk,and the class was behind me,and when i would turn too see who was talking or raeding he would grab my hair and smash mt face in my book.He would make all the boys put there haeds down and let the girls read or what ever,and tell the cless that the boys are being punished because of me.when eveyones head was down he would put his hand on the back of my head and grind mt face into the desk.

He would keep me in at recess and put me in the closet for the whole time and take out just before the class came back in.I told him once that i would tell my parents and told me"who are they going to believe,me,your teacher,or you,a little kid?I would like too talk too your parents,I thing too tell them".

this was the base of my rage for many years too come.From there I became one of the kids too pick on,because i was always in trouble,or makeing trouble for them.I remember my breaking point,The next year,It was winter and we were all in a part of the play ground where you could throw snowballs if you wanted.And remember there was a bullie named steve who made his freinds hold me down while he burried my head in the snow.I remember getting up and with the teacher

in my thoughts,I grabbed him by the hair and drigged him too the swings and wrapped the chian around his neck ans kicked him in the head and body until I was out of steam.he was ok,But I now had become a Bully,And started a tread that would follow me for the next twenty years or so.I became very good at fighting and drugs and booze did'nt help.It was'nt until my late twentys and early thirtys that i had the problem looked into,And with much therapy we determined that my hate and my rage stemmed from the abuse i faced at school from my teacher.The first clue was my grades,the first four years my grades were great(for some one with learning disabilty).Then from the fith grade on my grades went too average or below.I still live in my little red neck new england home town and have come across poeple who were in that class with me and they have told they felt bad for me.And so i ask them why did you not say something too some one?They said too me,because we were afraid also.I have too peace with myself,but I can never erase the scars.

My one good thing too come from this that I became a very good bully destroyer,I often took on the fights of poeple who were being terrorized by bullies.My favorite line too hear was "what,are you gonna fight his/her battles" I loved too say "Ya,I am."

The catch now is that bullies carry guns and knives and etc.Walk away and stay alive.

The world creates bullies with all sorts of motivations.Money,power,being cool or what ever.No one is born too hate,it is a learned trait,from parents,friends and piers.

So now that I have posted on this subject,we officialy end this thread.

[Nomad]

Its a crime you had to go through that shweet, I guess if anything positive could come from it it would be that you can make the difference with the ones that look to you for guidance, (and they are out there) you can be a positive influence and make someone else feel strong and worthy through positive reinforcement with your actions and words. We cant change our past but we sure can change someones future. Thats a lot of power and not to be used unwisely.

[pantsonfire321@aol.com]

Shweet tatersalad wrote: What a strange subject too discuss.Nomad you were right too not react,you might not have feared well.Good job on your part.Now back too bullies.

It is a bully that made me the person I was back then.

In the fifth grade I had a taecher who made it a point too make my life terrible.

Perhaps it ewas because i was the smallest kid,or had a diffrent name. who knows.

But I will never forget him.

I sat in front of his desk,and the class was behind me,and when i would turn too see who was talking or raeding he would grab my hair and smash mt face in my book.He would make all the boys put there haeds down and let the girls read or what ever,and tell the cless that the boys are being punished because of me.when eveyones head was down he would put his hand on the back of my head and grind mt face into the desk.

He would keep me in at recess and put me in the closet for the whole time and take out just before the class came back in.I told him once that i would tell my parents and told me"who are they going to believe,me,your teacher,or you,a little kid?I would like too talk too your parents,I thing too tell them".

this was the base of my rage for many years too come.From there I became one of the kids too pick on,because i was always in trouble,or makeing trouble for them.I remember my breaking point,The next year,It was winter and we were all in a part of the play ground where you could throw snowballs if you wanted.And remember there was a bullie named steve who made his freinds hold me down while he burried my head in the snow.I remember getting up and with the teacher

in my thoughts,I grabbed him by the hair and drigged him too the swings and wrapped the chian around his neck ans kicked him in the head and body until I was out of steam.he was ok,But I now had become a Bully,And started a tread that would follow me for the next twenty years or so.I became very good at fighting and drugs and booze did'nt help.It was'nt until my late twentys and early thirtys that i had the problem looked into,And with much therapy we determined that my hate and my rage stemmed from the abuse i faced at school from my teacher.The first clue was my grades,the first four years my grades were great(for some one with learning disabilty).Then from the fith grade on my grades went too average or below.I still live in my little red neck new england home town and have come across poeple who were in that class with me and they have told they felt bad for me.And so i ask them why did you not say something too some one?They said too me,because we were afraid also.I have too peace with myself,but I can never erase the scars.

My one good thing too come from this that I became a very good bully destroyer,I often took on the fights of poeple who were being terrorized by bullies.My favorite line too hear was "what,are you gonna fight his/her battles" I loved too say "Ya,I am."

The catch now is that bullies carry guns and knives and etc.Walk away and stay alive.

The world creates bullies with all sorts of motivations.Money,power,being cool or what ever.No one is born too hate,it is a learned trait,from parents,friends and piers.

So now that I have posted on this subject,we officialy end this thread.




How horrid... you did'nt deserve any of that ..the teacher concerned i hope he got his just desserts . Do you know what became of him ??? i do worry for children today because it's just not safe any more ..they say your child hood should be the best day's of your life.... it's just so sad that sometime's that's just not the case .I hope oneday it's not so painfall for you .

[Peg]

So often, I hear of kids being bullies. Adults wonder why. How often have you gone to a store or restraunt and seen a customer giving the clerk or waitress a rough time over something she or he has no control over? Perhaps bullying is a trait they learned from their parents?

[buttercup]

bullies are so scared of being attacked themselves they attack others first, they think attack is the best form of defense, sad isent it ?