This is a JOKE. Just a joke. Please don't crucify me for it.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:47 pm

Texas Air Control Tower

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 --

You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R"

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared

to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised !!"

Dallas ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to

land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. We are cleared to land

on infidel's runway 9R - Allah is Great !!"

Pause: Static.............

Saudi Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!!!"

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?"

Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE

SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A

COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!

Dallas ATC: Well bless your hearts! Y'all be careful now

and tell Allah "hey" for us -- ya hear

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:01 pm

this is one for the americans on board

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:03 pm

buttercup wrote: this is one for the americans on board

:yh_flag :yh_flag :yh_flag :yh_flag

YUP

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:12 pm

:wah: I liked it. :wah:

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:23 pm

ROFLMAO!! That is HILARIOUS!!!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:28 pm

Jives wrote: ROFLMAO!! That is HILARIOUS!!!
I was waiting for our resident flyboy to show up in here! Glad you liked it, Jives. :yh_bigsmi

Samantha · Post by **Samantha** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 1:45 pm

Why would anyone get mad at that. . . it's funny!!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:42 pm

Samantha wrote: Why would anyone get mad at that. . . it's funny!!
Oh, you'd be surprised at how *some* sensibilities are easily offended here, Samantha.

Glad you liked it! :yh_bigsmi

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Apr 30, 2006 10:04 pm

I am not an American. And have very carefully read your joke BR!!!!! And I have just one spontaneous reaction . .....

...

....

.....

Big Aussie politically incorrect laugh!!

:D

Post by **spot** » Mon May 01, 2006 12:51 am

BabyRider wrote: Oh, you'd be surprised at how *some* sensibilities are easily offended here, Samantha.Rather than have a fight, how about if I just put http://www.liberalavenger.com/2006/04/14/no-shame/ into the thread?

The standard rule of racist jokes applies - when in doubt, turn the joke around and see if it's still funny.. If you substitute El Al and kill a few hundred jews in the joke instead, it gets fewer laughs.

Consider yourself crucified.

Attached files

Post by **spot** » Mon May 01, 2006 1:50 am

Though - just to show I can recognise a good joke when I see one - I saw this on my travels earlier this morning...

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his log book out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's flying skills to the test.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass.

Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?!?" Asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

BadDog · Post by **BadDog** » Mon May 01, 2006 3:09 am

Spot the way u explained it yours is no better. Killing someones pet is suppoed to be funny. That very thing happened to that poor family traveling through tennessee. They got stopped, and just for practice the troopers killed their dog>:wah:

actually I thought both jokes were funny.

given the right setup, I think killing Jews, or Mexicans could be funny too.

BadDog · Post by **BadDog** » Mon May 01, 2006 3:14 am

Why doesnt mexico have a olympic team? Because every mexican that can run, jump, and swim is already across the border!:wah: :wah:

Now thats funny! even if nobody got killed.

Post by **spot** » Mon May 01, 2006 3:51 am

BadDog wrote: That very thing happened to that poor family traveling through tennessee. They got stopped, and just for practice the troopers killed their dogHow can you possibly say "just for practice"?

Trooper Bush then stated that he had caught up with the green station wagon at the 280 mile marker of Interstate 40 Eastbound, and asked for the vehicle information from the license plate. It was confirmed that the license plate matched the one that was reported in the original phone call to THP in Nashville. At that point, the Cookeville Police Department was notified and backup requested, and the vehicle was stopped at the 287 mile marker. The occupants of the green station wagon were ordered out of the car, handcuffed, and as we all know, the dog, Patton, was shot by the Cookeville Police officer after he ran out of the vehicle and toward the officer ... at this time, the Troopers on the scene were still under the impression that a felony may have been committed, and were acting accordingly.I don't see the least hint that the officer had any alternative available to him.

http://www.state.tn.us/safety/newsrelea ... ement.html carries more detail.

Post by **spot** » Mon May 01, 2006 4:10 am

SnoozeControl wrote: Everytime their sargeant would yell "get down!" they'd stand up and start dancing.There's a chance for chances and the chance is choosin', and I sure would like just to groove with you...

Michael Jackson has a lot to answer for.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon May 01, 2006 10:04 am

spot wrote: How can you possibly say "just for practice"?

Trooper Bush then stated that he had caught up with the green station wagon at the 280 mile marker of Interstate 40 Eastbound, and asked for the vehicle information from the license plate. It was confirmed that the license plate matched the one that was reported in the original phone call to THP in Nashville. At that point, the Cookeville Police Department was notified and backup requested, and the vehicle was stopped at the 287 mile marker. The occupants of the green station wagon were ordered out of the car, handcuffed, and as we all know, the dog, Patton, was shot by the Cookeville Police officer after he ran out of the vehicle and toward the officer ... at this time, the Troopers on the scene were still under the impression that a felony may have been committed, and were acting accordingly.I don't see the least hint that the officer had any alternative available to him.

http://www.state.tn.us/safety/newsrelea ... ement.html carries more detail.
If this is the same story I'm thinking of, I've seen the video and the officer DID have alternatives to shooting the dog. First off, the dog was out of the car, running around wagging his tail, not "going after" anyone.

Second, even if this isn't the same story, macing a dog is highly effective, the officer did NOT need to shoot the dog dead in front of it's family.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon May 01, 2006 10:06 am

spot wrote:

The standard rule of racist jokes applies - when in doubt, turn the joke around and see if it's still funny.. If you substitute El Al and kill a few hundred jews in the joke instead, it gets fewer laughs.

Consider yourself crucified.
Well, it sure got some laughs here. As for "considering myself crucified", I'll consider the source....:yh_eyerol

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Mon May 01, 2006 11:42 am

spot wrote: How can you possibly say "just for practice"?

Trooper Bush then stated that he had caught up with the green station wagon at the 280 mile marker of Interstate 40 Eastbound, and asked for the vehicle information from the license plate. It was confirmed that the license plate matched the one that was reported in the original phone call to THP in Nashville. At that point, the Cookeville Police Department was notified and backup requested, and the vehicle was stopped at the 287 mile marker. The occupants of the green station wagon were ordered out of the car, handcuffed, and as we all know, the dog, Patton, was shot by the Cookeville Police officer after he ran out of the vehicle and toward the officer ... at this time, the Troopers on the scene were still under the impression that a felony may have been committed, and were acting accordingly.I don't see the least hint that the officer had any alternative available to him.

http://www.state.tn.us/safety/newsrelea ... ement.html carries more detail.

Maybe if the officer had SHUT THE CAR DOOR like the family asked him to do repeatedly the whole ugly scenario could have been avoided.

BR - I loved the joke!

BadDog · Post by **BadDog** » Tue May 02, 2006 2:52 pm

As for the dog. Go look at the video again, then turn that around. If the cop had stopped the family just to tell them their money was flying around the freeway, and the off duty officers dog had gotten out of the car and ran up to the man, and he had shot the dog, he would have been prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Post by **spot** » Wed May 03, 2006 1:52 am

BadDog wrote: As for the dog. Go look at the video again, then turn that around. If the cop had stopped the family just to tell them their money was flying around the freeway, and the off duty officers dog had gotten out of the car and ran up to the man, and he had shot the dog, he would have been prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.Let me check that I understand you - you're saying that the police statement on the official website I quoted has got its facts wrong? This isn't a small question of interpretation, this is a major question of lying?

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed May 03, 2006 4:01 am

spot wrote: Rather than have a fight, how about if I just put http://www.liberalavenger.com/2006/04/14/no-shame/ into the thread?

The standard rule of racist jokes applies - when in doubt, turn the joke around and see if it's still funny.. If you substitute El Al and kill a few hundred jews in the joke instead, it gets fewer laughs.

Consider yourself crucified.

It would depend on your audience, swopping jews for moslems would go down a storm in a hamas comedy club. Or how about two planeloads of orangemen arriving in dublin airport-although that might stretch credulity a bit.

Arguably it's not a joke about moslems per se but about extremists

Racist and religious jokes can reinforce stereotypes but also be used attack them as well I think it's a mistake to start banning jokes in case it might offend someone. It's only if they hit home that offence is taken. We make jokes about catholics and protestant so why not moslems as well.

Your joke about shooting santa's reindeer was funny. Should it be banned as offensive because it's sick WHAT KIND OF B)**(*D THINKS IT'S FUNNY TO SHOOT SANTA'S REINDEER? Just think how upset all those children that still believe in santa would be.

Post by **spot** » Wed May 03, 2006 5:26 am

gmc wrote: Racist and religious jokes can reinforce stereotypes but also be used attack them as well I think it's a mistake to start banning jokes in case it might offend someone. It's only if they hit home that offence is taken. We make jokes about catholics and protestant so why not moslems as well.Then I have a suggestion - we can practice telling racist jokes but turning them round before we post, so that we're the target rather than the prankster. We can see the humor, mentally invert things so we see both sides, and we'll be fairly sure not to offend people outside our in-group. It'll be so much more fun than the clever-yanks dim-saudi jokes.

Post by **spot** » Wed May 03, 2006 5:47 am

SnoozeControl wrote: I had to wonder about the flightline after the crash. Wouldn't it be closed down and all the other air traffic routed to smaller landing strips? It'd be a huge mess.

You're assuming that Santa would crash the fully-laden sleigh. Me, I think he'd already hitched up two spare reindeer in case.

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Wed May 03, 2006 5:52 am

spot wrote: Let me check that I understand you - you're saying that the police statement on the official website I quoted has got its facts wrong? This isn't a small question of interpretation, this is a major question of lying?

I think it is a matter of the police not wanting to look bad.

This incident was a HUGE issue with people who run rescue groups and such. It made national news and there was a letter writing campaign to prosecutors. The police took it right on the chin with this one. I must admit though, I am not sure if anything official was done as far as reprimanding the officers responsible.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed May 03, 2006 6:16 am

spot wrote: Then I have a suggestion - we can practice telling racist jokes but turning them round before we post, so that we're the target rather than the prankster. We can see the humor, mentally invert things so we see both sides, and we'll be fairly sure not to offend people outside our in-group. It'll be so much more fun than the clever-yanks dim-saudi jokes.

Well why not. Some of the most effective anti racist jokes are those told by black comedians-Eddie Murphy, eddie prior and the like turned the racist humour back on the racists-remember Charlie Williams in the comedians-used to threaten hecklers with coming to live next door to them and found himself criticised for being racist by those who never twigged he was black. It was a jew that I heard the first lampshade joke from.

How about Russ Abbott and his "see you jimmie" sketches that mortified the PC brigade and had most scots in stitches and doing a nice line in see you jimmie hats to english tourists even now after all these years.

The problem is not humour but the lack of it. If fundamentalists of all types were able to laugh at themselves and not take things so seriously the world would be a safer place. You can accuse them of many things but the ability to laogh at their own foibles is not one of them.

As to doing dim yank jokes I'm sure many would get the humour but there are also many that would assume it was meant as an insult rather than a joke.

Just like the joke that started this post. I know many moslems that would find it funny because they understand at whom it is directed.

Life of Brian, most christians understood the humour and the more the religious right complained the funnier it got.

Heard any good english jokes recently?

http://www.rampantscotland.com/humour.htm

There are four kinds of people in the UK -

First, there were the Scots who kept the Sabbath - and everything else they could lay their hands on;

Then there were the Welsh - who prayed on their knees and their neighbours;

Thirdly there were the Irish who never knew what they wanted - but were willing to fight for it anyway.

Lastly there were the English who considered themselves self-made men, - thus relieving the Almighty of a terrible responsibility.

Post by **spot** » Wed May 03, 2006 6:47 am

LilacDragon wrote: I think it is a matter of the police not wanting to look bad.

This incident was a HUGE issue with people who run rescue groups and such. It made national news and there was a letter writing campaign to prosecutors. The police took it right on the chin with this one. I must admit though, I am not sure if anything official was done as far as reprimanding the officers responsible.Before I say anything, bear in mind that this thread and Googling is all I have to go on for information.

We have two troopers who have been instructed to pull over a "station wagon, possibly involved in a recent robbery involving large amounts of cash". They empty the car of people, staying out of each others' line of fire, and get the occupants prone. They've no way of knowing if any of the people on the floor are armed, at this point. And a dog starts bouncing around barking?

I wouldn't bat an eyelid in such circumstances, I certainly wouldn't take my concentration off the possibly-armed people on the ground that I'd stopped as suspected "felons leaving a recent robbery", in order to accurately deploy a can of mace. Of course I'd remove the dog from the equation with the shotgun I was holding, and retain control. How can anyone reach a different conclusion? This is a dog we're talking about, not a teenager. It almost sounds as though had it been a teenager popular opinion would have been that the troopers were in the right, but that a dog's somehow more valuable.

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Wed May 03, 2006 7:14 am

spot wrote: Before I say anything, bear in mind that this thread and Googling is all I have to go on for information.

We have two troopers who have been instructed to pull over a "station wagon, possibly involved in a recent robbery involving large amounts of cash". They empty the car of people, staying out of each others' line of fire, and get the occupants prone. They've no way of knowing if any of the people on the floor are armed, at this point. And a dog starts bouncing around barking?

I wouldn't bat an eyelid in such circumstances, I certainly wouldn't take my concentration off the possibly-armed people on the ground that I'd stopped as suspected "felons leaving a recent robbery", in order to accurately deploy a can of mace. Of course I'd remove the dog from the equation with the shotgun I was holding, and retain control. How can anyone reach a different conclusion? This is a dog we're talking about, not a teenager. It almost sounds as though had it been a teenager popular opinion would have been that the troopers were in the right, but that a dog's somehow more valuable.

COOKEVILLE, Tenn. Ã¢â‚¬ A videotape of authorities shooting a family's bulldog after they were mistakenly stopped as felony suspects shows only 3 seconds lapsed from the time the dog left the car until the officer fired, a newspaper reported Wednesday.

The tape, which was recorded from a Tennessee Highway Patrol car and was scheduled to be released Wednesday afternoon, was viewed in advance by the Cookeville Herald-Citizen newspaper.

Cookeville police officer Eric Hall, who killed the dog with a shotgun blast, has contended he had to shoot the dog after it charged him in a threatening manner. He has been reassigned to administrative duties pending an internal investigation.

"We are aware there is a lot of criticism out there over this incident, and we want to take him off the road and let him perform other duties while we get this all resolved," Chief Bob Terry told the newspaper.

The dog was the pet of the James Smoak family of Saluda, N.C.

A trooper and three Cookeville police cars pulled over the Smoaks as they drove home from a Tennessee vacation on Jan. 1 with two dogs. The authorities suspecte the vehicle was connected to a Nashville robbery and executed a felony stop, which requires specific police procedures in high-risk situations, THP officials said.

A Nashville motorist reported seeing a wallet and money fly from the Smoak car as it drove down Interstate 40. But it turned out that wallet belonged to Smoak, who had left it on top of the car while pumping gas and then drove away.

According to the newspaper report, the videotape shows the troopers using a public address system to order the family out of the car out one at a time. James and Pamela Smoak and their 17-year-old son, Brandon, obey the officers, coming out with their hands up, walking slowly backward, getting down when ordered, and being handcuffed by the troopers.

The tape also shows Hall with his shotgun trained on the Smoak car. A trooper standing beside an open door on the vehicle looks in and comments that there is a dog inside.

The Smoaks have said they repeatedly asked the troopers to close the car door to keep their dogs from getting out on the highway.

The tape then shows the dog Patton, a boxer-bulldog mix, hopping out onto the roadside. He trots around in a circle and comes back toward Hall, who fires his gun at the animal, killing it instantly.

The shooting happens within three seconds of the time the dog leaves the car and the shot is fired, according to the tape's counter.

The Smoaks have filed complaints with all agencies involved in the stop, and investigations continue.

"We once again extend our deepest concerns to the Smoak family for their loss," said Terry, the police chief. "We know this was a terrible experience for them, and we truly wish that we could undo the events that occurred on the night of Jan. 1."

I have never claimed that the life of a dog (or any other animal for that matter) is more important then that of a person, but I think that if a police officer pulls over a family on the freeway and the car has a dog in it, then they should shut the door - leaving the dog in the car - to prevent such incidents from happening. The family was handcuffed and there is no reason why a canine unit or animal control could not have been called to safely remove the dogs from the vehicle so that the police could search the car if necessary.

Sorry for hijacking your thread BR.

BadDog · Post by **BadDog** » Wed May 03, 2006 7:29 am

spot wrote: Let me check that I understand you - you're saying that the police statement on the official website I quoted has got its facts wrong? This isn't a small question of interpretation, this is a major question of lying?
I think the trouble is your not familiar with tennessee politics.

A total of 41 troopers were found to have criminal histories, and several of the departmentÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s top officials, including the Safety Commissioner and the head of the THP, resigned shortly after the results of those background checks were released. Of the 41 flagged by the report, 34 had criminal or traffic violation histories before they were hired by the Department of Safety.

The fates of the seven who were charged with crimes after joining the department will vary according to a committee's recommendation released Thursday. One of them has already retired, three have been recommended for termination, and no action will be taken against the last three.

Not to mention "operation tennessee waltz" that led to the arrest of 7 people 5 of which were state lawmakers.