Looking for other's in my predictament

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Feb 08, 2005 12:31 pm

Hello, and welcome to FG. ...i have not been in your situation, however i am familiar with the courts. you have parental rights unless you have lost them or signed them away when you turned over custody. you should have some sort of agreement in place from when you made your decision. if not, and if there is not an issue of being unfit, you need to take legal action. it may cost you, since it's out of state, but it's the only way.you need a lawyer who can practice family law in their state. do you pay child support? visitation is not contingent on child support, but i am trying to ascertain the whole picture. best wishes!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Feb 08, 2005 4:44 pm

Unfortunately, more often than not, men usually go through this. The court systems are basically uncaring and not always doing what is in the best interest of the child. I wish you luck and don't give up!

A Karenina · Post by **A Karenina** » Tue Feb 08, 2005 7:38 pm

FM, welcome to the garden. Yes, I understand your predicament completely. LadyCop is right - you need a lawyer to grant you very specific rights. You'll also need to be prepared to fight to make sure those rights are honored by your exH and his wife.

How old are your children? How far away do you live? What happened the last time you saw/spoke to them?

I have 2 children, ages 17 and 16. They live 2,000 miles away. They were allowed to choose where they wanted to live because they were at the age of consent in their state. They chose to stay where they were raised.

If you'd like to send me a private message, you are more than welcome to. I can't always respond quickly, but I will write back.

Keep your chin up. You are not alone. As Peg said, many men have gone through this, and more women are losing custody every day. It's really sad.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:37 pm

Please let us know how it goes. I, like you, have little faith in the judicial system, but you never know when you will get that one person who will actually do their job. I wish you the best. :-6

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:27 pm

Good luck to you! Post tomorrow and let us know how it goes. Got my fingers crossed for ya! :-6

chicagolosina · Post by **chicagolosina** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:10 pm

Good luck to you! Keep at it no matter what anyones says. Please keep in mind that even if you are behind on child support but you are making an effort, it won't look bad, if that is what you are thinking.

I think you should also take all the papers you have regarding custody to the school, speak to the principal and let her know who you are! If that dosen't work, go to the school board. Change the information on the school records to let them know that you are the mother, she is the step mother. Keep all records of who you talk to wehn, every effort you have made to see the children/talk to the children.

Your x sounds like the type who will stop at nothing to prove you don't have an interest in your children, don't let that happen. Record phone conversations if you have to, and let him know they are being recorded. Send registered letters to them.

Speak up and don't be pushed around.