Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I remember the incident well,

Twas in an old forum that fell,

They kicked us both out,

Twas their loss no doubt,

They've no more good stories to tell.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I drank too much wine and feel whoozy,

I think we should find a jacuzzi,

We'll sit and make merry,

So much for my cherry,

I've seen that you have quite a doozy!!


So.... you think you might heed the call???

There's a chance your cherry might fall ???

Then duck an' cover

Or brace yourself lover

Here comes ol'...

CANNONBAAAAAAAAAWL!!!!!!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The monkeys have just started school,

They were told, to follow the rules,

Miss Monkey's no fool,

She told them "Be Cool,"

Now they sit, on the "Time Out" stool!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: So.... you think you might heed the call???

There's a chance your cherry might fall ???

Then duck an' cover

Or brace yourself lover

Here comes ol'...

CANNONBAAAAAAAAAWL!!!!!!!


Yes dear, I know you're all wet,

You "play" every chance that you get,

I feel so imperious,

I'll make you delirious,

I'm ready for you, are you set?
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Sit, set and setter

Wit, wet and wetter

1,2,3, go

Don't tease me no mo'

Git, get and get 'er
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

For 'booty' ol' monkey was wishin'

Big hooters was one ambition

The other a butt

Outward jutt

Anyone game for his mission
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey is now all a titter,

He found him a babe full of glitter,

She has a great butt,

And hooters that jutt,

Too bad she's the kids baby sitter!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkeys are unconscionable critters

And the one who takes care of his litter

Should not turn her back

Or he'll 'mount' an attack

And 'for she can split, he'll gitt'er
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Why did the sitter resign?

Did Monkey again cross the line?

She's mad as a mink,

And made quite a stink,

So she tied up his willie with twine.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Chuckles and Hope are defiant,

Never have they been compliant,

They learned that from dad,

Who's rather a cad,

On them, one cannot be reliant.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Why did the sitter resign?

Did Monkey again cross the line?

She's mad as a mink,

And made quite a stink,

So she tied up his willie with twine.


AHHH, the pouting puppeteer

Needs strings to hold someone near

Seems monkey's willy

Gives her a thrilly

But bondage... REALLY, my dear
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Chuckles and Hope are defiant,

Never have they been compliant,

They learned that from dad,

Who's rather a cad,

On them, one cannot be reliant.


Chips from the old chopping block

And already they are trying the lock

Their dad HAS always

Had gad-a-bout ways

Their independence comes as no shock
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: AHHH, the pouting puppeteer

Needs strings to hold someone near

Seems monkey's willy

Gives her a thrilly

But bondage... REALLY, my dear


This sitter does WAY more than sit,

Her "costume" has quite a slit,

You bring a feather,

She'll wear the leather,

Just say where you'd like to be hit!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Chips from the old chopping block

And already they are trying the lock

Their dad HAS always

Had gad-a-bout ways

Their independence comes as no shock


Does Monkey admit he's their dad?

Is he proud that his kids are so rad?

Those two are bad news,

Already they booze,

They are totally, utterly, BAD!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Hmmmm..... I'd rather suggest WHERE she sit

To 'get off' her feet for a bit

Once she's rested

As suggested

We'll take a look at that slit
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Does Monkey admit he's their dad?

Is he proud that his kids are so rad?

Those two are bad news,

Already they booze,

They are totally, utterly, BAD!


Let's say the resemblance is there

Could have come from anywhere

Ms. Monkey, the slut

Is out on her butt

The kids no longer need care
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Let's say the resemblance is there

Could have come from anywhere

Ms. Monkey, the slut

Is out on her butt

The kids no longer need care


"Not so dear" Monkey

How dare you call her a slut,

When YOU do nothing but rut,

Your actions are rude,

Your behavior is crude,

Your life is nothing but smut!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

A thought finally surfaces, bouyant

At last you have fathomed this joint

Your reaction?

To his distraction

HE'S MONKEY!..... what's your point???
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

My first "point" on this Monkey joint,

He always seems to disappoint,

He'll just anoint,

He own butt joint,

Which brings us to the second point!

:-5
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Samantha's been taking some notes,

Seems leather will get her some votes.

She got her some pants,

Instead of implants,

Dear 4Rum, come sow some oats!!

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Samantha's been taking some notes,

Seems leather will get her some votes.

She got her some pants,

Instead of implants,

Dear 4Rum, come sow some oats!!


Well I think it's about freakin' time!

I've waited so long for the sublime

I'll come there and steal you

From that leather peel you

The passion is fixin' to climb!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Thanks for the wonderful ride,

Your talents cannot be denied,

The waves were great,

I rode to my fate,

From you, I will no longer hide.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Thanks for the wonderful ride,

Your talents cannot be denied,

The waves were great,

I rode to my fate,

From you, I will no longer hide.


Dear Samantha;

Not me you need to hide from.............

Uh.....They weren't really waving

Because of our misbehaving

The crowd was pissed

The road we'd missed

Our car their church tent was caving
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Dear Samantha;

Not me you need to hide from.............

Uh.....They weren't really waving

Because of our misbehaving

The crowd was pissed

The road we'd missed

Our car their church tent was caving


Dear 4Rum:

I think you misunderstood,

The "waves" that I rode were good,

They weren't from the crowd,

A church did not shroud,

I'd do it again, if I could.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

I know the wave of which you speak

The wave that comes at passions peak

If you'd like another go

You only need to let me know

A bed this time might be unique
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

You think we should get us a room??

But what would these people assume?

I'll give you a licking,

Will you keep on ticking?

I say -- let the antics resume!!

:D :D
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Antics are just semantics

Let's go seriously tantric

I'm not lazy

Let's get crazy

It's fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun to go a little 'manic'
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Ahhhhh, did 4Rum say tantric?

That sounds so very romantic!!

I'll give it a try,

If you'll be my guy,

I'm pleased that you're not pedantic!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum:

Do you think we are getting off track?

I don't want the "mods" to attack!

Sould we keep it clean

And not be so mean?

Don't want them to give us the whack!

:lips:
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

When I get the chance to 'play'

Don't expect me to run away

If lovin' or likker

Will get me your knickers

I'll chase you as long as I may
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum:

I can't find the monkeys can you?

I don't want them out past curfew!

So where did they go?

The cops want to know

Their presence in town is taboo!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Don't worry the monkies are buisy

Their up to their old shim schizzy

Drinkin' 'n' gamblin'

Ever ramblin'

Now 4rum's not to blame izzy?
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4Rum

For Monkies you carry no blame,

Of ME, it's just not the same,

On GG you stalked me,

Then when you caught me,

You certainly lit my flame!

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

That flame will never go out

That fact you need not doubt

You lit my fuse

Made me loose

All else I could think about
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear Fans:

We're freak-y and we're frisk-y

We're like to drink our whisk-y

All OUR be-hav-oirs risk-y

We're MON-Keys don't you see!!

EEEEeeee---EEEEEeeeee

Hooters to ya!



The MOnkey Klan!

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

After the photo session

Monkey went out messin'

Drinkin' and smokin'

Playin' an' pokin'

With who (or what) I'm just guessin'

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Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey got kidnapped - Oh My!!

The note on this rock told them why,

"We've got your honey,

Now cough up some money,

And don't call the cops or he'll die!"

:eek: :eek:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

He did not know where he wuzz,

His mind still very afuzz,

He got up his hopes,

When he first saw the ropes.

He thought it was foreplay becuzz??
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Unable to free himself

Monkey called some help

His gang come runnin'

Stunning and gunnin'

All worried for monkey's health

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey's been freed again

Happy as he's ever been

Back to his tricks

Gettin' his kicks

Drinks on the house....aaaaaaaaaamen!!!

Attached files
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey is very upset,

That Monkey got away, no sweat,

She don't give a damn,

She set up the scam,

The twins have put her in debt!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

I learned from the school of hard knocks

Children will put you in hock

Their education

My consultation

Parenthood sometimes is a pox
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey needed of a job

She went to work for the mob

She knew it was rash

But needed the cash

This is where she met Rob!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Now Rob was an ornery ol' pimp,

It seems he walked with a limp,

He said that he'd pay,

Whatever she'd say,

If she'd be his own special chimp.
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Is Rob a fact or a fable

Or is Pimp just a lable

She'll find out

What work's about

If Rob puts her in his stable

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Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Rob is a mountain gorilla,

He had him a place in Manilla,

Worked 400 chicks,

They turned lots of tricks,

Miss Monkey's street name is Priscilla!!

:guitarist

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Mizz Pricilla is a really hot ticket

But beware if you should pick it

Take my advice

Treat her nice

Or she'll tell you just where to stick it

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Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey went lookin' for nooky,

He spoke up to Rob, his new booky,

"I have a new girl,

Why not give her a while,"

So Monkey said he'd go looky.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

When Monkey entered the room,

He smelled a familiar parfume,

He then saw his "wife,"

So her ran for his life,

Far away from the brothel of doom.

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4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Ol' Monkey was just born to party

Booze and broads help keep him hearty

Take his play

Or schedule his day

You'll only find him coming up tardy
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