Bad coffee turns citizens into criminals.

[gordonartist]

JULIGAN, Columbia -- Coffee connoisseurs know that a bad cup of coffee can ruin their day. But a new brand of coffee in Columbia is so bad it's ruining people's lives.

"As cocaine fields have been eliminated, some of this farmland has been used to grow coffee," said Coffee Organization Kleptocratic Executive Ernesto Perez. "But the coffee beans in that soil acquire the addictive power of the cocoa plant, turning normal 'caffeine addicts' into crazed vandals.

"Just the whiff of the aroma of coffee emanating from a brewer is enough to cause coffee nuts to lose control and seek a fix."

Don't worry, it's just an Urban Legend.

Take care,

Gordon.