I am in HELL and I can't get out......

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:03 pm

I know every time I post here it has some terrible drama to it...for that I am sorry...I am asking for prayers and some good vibes for my family...As some of you know, my oldest sister has MS..I received a phone call from my brother that brought me to my knees...My sister was found on her floor- assuming that she had been there now for almost 3 days...She has a service dog and we were don't know why he didn't push her life line...needless to say - she is in Denver at the hospital..she has had a major stroke and has lost her ability to communicate so we can't understand her. The blood clots are numerous...1 behind her right eye, in which the doctor has stated she will not recover her sight...she also has bi-lateral? blood clots at the base of her brain..they are situated to where they can not perform surgery right now..She has lost control of her right side completely..Since her stroke was in her left side she has lost her bowel and bladder control...she is 54 years old and my family needs your prayers...The hospital said that she will never live on her own or drive again...she is being moved to a place called the Spalding Center in Aurora for re-hab --then will be coming home to Carroll from there so we can take care if her...a NURSING HOME at 54? Life takes turns and we have battled hills this past year with my mothers stroke and cancer..now this? When does it all stop.I feel like I am in a hell..all I want to do is leave this hospital and forget my chemo and radiation and be with her...I feel like I am abandoning her but yet my doctors say I can NOT travel and can not be in a hospital setting for fear my immune system is to depleted..How can I not go?? How sad it is that I feel so alone and sorry for myself, when I know my family is going through the same HELL....If this was the plan for my family then I wish I was never born.. A brother dead at 26, my father died at 67, I have cancer, we almost lost my mom a couple months back and her time is limited with her illness, my nieces death to a brain tumor,my sweet nephews murder at the age of 7....can you tell me how much more one family can take?? Yes I am feeling very sorry for myself..Yes I know their are people out there that are much worse off.but right now all I want to do is run away from this damn hospital and never come back...I hate it here--I hate being away from my kids and I am currently starting to believe that my God is not here............:-1

Sorry for the vent.....

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:14 pm

Mom, I am so, so very sorry for this horrible thing you are going through. It makes my situation seem small by comparison.

All I can say is, God must have a lot of faith in you if what they say is true: God only gives you as much as you can handle.

He must think you're Superwoman.

Like me, you have to be brave. You have to get tough, and get proactive. I so feel for you. My heart is breaking all over again. We all love you here, and you come and vent anytime. We're always here for you.

Much love,

BR

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:23 pm

I can only help by saying I will gladly read your posts EVERY time

you put one on here.

The darkest hour is just before dawn...

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:24 pm

Oh my goodness girl, God has dealt you a hand huh. Just pray, and I'll be saying prayers for you and your family too. concentrate on getting better so you can be there for your sister in the future.

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:29 pm

sending you lots of love and hugs!

you're in my thoughts and prayers!!

Rachel78 · Post by **Rachel78** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:39 pm

Words cannot express how truly sorry I am to read what you are currently going through. I will only say that as I type this reply I am asking God to give you strength, hope, faith, and courage.

I found something I'd like to share with you... it may not bring you much comfort now... but I will share it with you with the best intentions in mind...

"For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though He brings grief, He also shows compassion according to the greatness of His unfailing love. For He does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow." ~Lamentations 3:31-33

You will be in my thoughts and prayers throughout today, Rachel

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:06 pm

What can I possibly say to a catalogue of horrors like that.

Mom, sending you our prayers and hope and strength is the least we can do and you have that every day.

Being a vent and a listening ear when you need to let off steam is what we're here for - do so whenever and we'll be here.

I really hope and prey that this will be the very lowest and that you and your family will turn the corner. I'll be sending all the good vibes I have and thinking of you each day

Your strength has been amaizing and inspirational - long may it continue.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:13 pm

Mom:-4

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:30 pm

Oh Mom, everyone here has said such good things that I can only repeat them all.

God must have a special plan for you and I hope and pray that this is where the hard stuff ends and the good stuff starts for you. I'll pray to St. Anthony to find the hope and the health that you have lost. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. BIG hug for you right now. :yh_hugs

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 5:27 pm

Mom, nobody deserves what your family has undergone.

I can only send positive energy your way. :yh_flower

FG members, Isn't anyone near enough to visit Mom??

shelleybelle73 · Post by **shelleybelle73** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:40 am

Hello Mom.

There are times like now, when you feel you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, but please stay strong, stay focused, think positive thoughts and take strength from all your friends around the world here on the Forum Garden. We care about you and love you very much.

Life doesn't always make sense, but the fact that we are here living it is a gift in itself, You are a wonderfully caring person I know that from the kind messages you have sent me in the short time I have been here in the garden with you.

Come in the garden MOM sit with all your friends, let the sun shine on your face, let us hold you in our arms and hug you and give you the strength to carry on and support your family in these difficult times. We are all thinking about you and sending you our love & support. Stay Strong..

We love you MOM... :yh_hugs

From all your Garden Friends

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:02 am

shelleybelle73 wrote: Hello Mom.

There are times like now, when you feel you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, but please stay strong, stay focused, think positive thoughts and take strength from all your friends around the world here on the Forum Garden. We care about you and love you very much.

Life doesn't always make sense, but the fact that we are here living it is a gift in itself, You are a wonderfully caring person I know that from the kind messages you have sent me in the short time I have been here in the garden with you.

Come in the garden MOM sit with all your friends, let the sun shine on your face, let us hold you in our arms and hug you and give you the strength to carry on and support your family in these difficult times. We are all thinking about you and sending you our love & support. Stay Strong..

We love you MOM... :yh_hugs

From all your Garden Friends
That was worth repeating. Very nice post, Shelley. :-4

chocoholic · Post by **chocoholic** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:45 am

Hello Mom, I was very sorry to hear about your troubles from your posting and I just wanted to send you love and prayers and to let you know that we are all thinking of you and sending good wishes to you and all your family at this time.

You will be in my thoughts and I send you hugs and good wishes of support.

Gail

:yh_flower :yh_hugs

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 7:53 am

Oh MOM it has all been said here already, just adding myself to the list of well wishers. I have no idea why all the horror has to be lumped together and dumped upon your family.

Listen to your doctor at the very least.

You are in my thoughts and I too am sending good vibes your way.

M

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 8:45 am

BabyRider wrote: That was worth repeating. Very nice post, Shelley. :-4

My sentiments exactly.

Niamh · Post by **Niamh** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 8:53 am

hello young Mom.

can't stop thinking about you......wish I could comfort you properly.

Do print out Shelley's lovely warm post and put it under your pillow.

We are all rooting for you and your whole family. keep strong !!

God Bless and much love from all of us on FG.

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 9:38 pm

UPDATE: I wish it was better--up until 12 noon today it was....She had gotten to a rehab facility(Spalding Rehab. Center in Aurora) and was doing well...we had gotten her a place at the Carroll Health Center where she would have rehab 6 days a week when she left Colorado..She was coming home to us...We were so happy....NOW

I need your prayers.....not for myself but for her...

She started having chest pains and her left side which was her good side--started turning a pasty grey..they took right back to the hospital and ran an EEG-it came back OK.they started cat scans and found 3 more blood clots..they tried to do a similar procedure like an angioplasty and couldn't remove them......she goes into surgery at 9 AM Colorado time....PLEASE PLEASE send us good wishes and prayers...I wish I was healthy enough to travel...We really need someone in our corner --It was moms 71st B-day today and when we got the call we were so devistated...NOT ON MOMS day...

--God willing she survived the day--now they are worried about her health through the surgery.....Thanks u--for your prayers!!!!!!!!!:(

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Thu Jun 22, 2006 10:05 pm

MOM................

I love you................

I cannot reply except to say ..........................

LOVE YOU

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 2:09 am

Love and hugs to you and your family Mom.

Prayers are being sent up for you all RIGHT NOW! :yh_pray :yh_pray :yh_pray :yh_pray

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 3:51 am

I'm thinking of you all, Mom !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 3:51 am

Pulling with all my might! :yh_flower