Serious Question!

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:14 pm

I am in my 30 and I have recently had to move in with my parents following a break up. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive or if this is a problem, and it is really weighing on my mind. The thing is my father. He is 66 years old and has never really been an affectionate man. I mean he's alway's been good father, but he was always kind of quiet, especially with me. Now that I am at home with the folks and trying to get on with my life, I am getting weird vibes from him. He is kissing me on the back of my neck and popping me on the behind. He asked if I had lost weight because my "ass" is getting smaller. (He doesn't talk that way) I was getting ready to go out and he came and stood in the bathroom when I was just in a towel after getting out of the shower and told me how pretty I look. Is this normal? What's up? It's freaking me out.

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:19 pm

If this is a new behavior, you may want to look into geting him checked for early signs of dimentia or alzhiemers. A first clue is usually a change in behavior from what is thier normal.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:22 pm

That is not normal behavior, Marie's advice sounds good. A trip to the doctor wouldn't hurt.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:32 pm

RED FLAGS!!! RED FLAGS!!!!

This is NOT normal behavior and it is obviously making you uncomfortable. Don't ignore your gut...if it's telling you something isn't right, it probably isn't.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:38 pm

Am I the only one who thinks this is not a serious question?

Am I just being cynical?

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:44 pm

This IS a totally serious question! I don't know how to even bring this up with my family! My mother is going to think I am totally out of my mind. She isn't that thrilled to have me in the house in the first place, now i've got to tell her that something is wrong with Dad.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:45 pm

Then just tell her, and the sooner he sees a medical professional the better. Maybe your mother has seen some things, but is afraid to share them too.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:55 pm

CheshireCat wrote: This IS a totally serious question!

Then my apologies to you, Cheshire Cat, for my doubting. Good luck.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 12:59 pm

CheshireCat wrote: This IS a totally serious question! I don't know how to even bring this up with my family! My mother is going to think I am totally out of my mind. She isn't that thrilled to have me in the house in the first place, now i've got to tell her that something is wrong with Dad.
This is NOT something to keep hidden or to try and ignore. This is extremely important, and your father needs help. If it p!sses your mom off, tell her to get over it and get down to business. No joke, here, Chesh.

ice maiden · Post by **ice maiden** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 1:19 pm

if i may agree with chonsigirl here my guess is your mum was unsure about you moving in because she is scared you may notice something is wrong with your dad. try to talk to her carefull but be warded she may shout scared about what you have noticed with your dad .

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:03 pm

CheshireCat wrote: I am in my 30 and I have recently had to move in with my parents following a break up. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive or if this is a problem, and it is really weighing on my mind. The thing is my father. He is 66 years old and has never really been an affectionate man. I mean he's alway's been good father, but he was always kind of quiet, especially with me. Now that I am at home with the folks and trying to get on with my life, I am getting weird vibes from him. He is kissing me on the back of my neck and popping me on the behind. He asked if I had lost weight because my "ass" is getting smaller. (He doesn't talk that way) I was getting ready to go out and he came and stood in the bathroom when I was just in a towel after getting out of the shower and told me how pretty I look. Is this normal? What's up? It's freaking me out.

You have a right to be freaked out. Not cool behavior from dad. I would make it as short a stay as possible. What a jackass way for a dad to talk to his daughter. Its 100% creepy.

annabelle · Post by **annabelle** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:19 pm

I can't help wondering what kind of relationship your parents have.

This may sound blunt, but , you must surely realise that your fathers comments/advances to you are of a sexual nature and not to be tolerated.

I don't think it's a Doctor he needs so much as a fullfilling relationship, sadly his frustrations are being targeted towards you.

If I were you I'd politely tell him that as his daughter you would appreciate (and indeed "EXPECT") privacy.

It's painfully obvious to me what's going on here.

Post by **spot** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:33 pm

annabelle wrote: It's painfully obvious to me what's going on here.On the other hand, the only person of that age I know who had a minor stroke was diagnosed after a very similar behavioral change. A medical checkup would perhaps be sensible.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:34 pm

Go with your gut here something isn't right for sure. Getting your father medically checked out is a good start. It could be anything, or nothing but you seeing your father for the first time as he really is.

How long has it been since you have been home for an extended period of time. He may have always been like this and your just picking up on it as an adult. It is stange behavior for a father I couldn't imagine my father saying anything like your father has, not normal behavior by any stretch of the imagination. :-5

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 1:01 am

OK, all these niceties and "understanding" replies are all good and well...but let's be realistic: You would not have posted about this to complete strangers if you didn't think something was extremely wrong here. And something IS very wrong here. I got the heebie-jeebies just reading your post and it made my skin crawl. Get your dad help, and do it NOW. I can't reiterate that enough.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 4:00 am

What the others have said. But first move out, right away.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:22 am

SnoozeControl wrote: For some reason, I was thinking CC was a guy at first. Even more eww than it already is.

OMG Snooze -- me too! Now I have to reread it with the idea of a daughter and not a son.

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:22 am

Bez wrote: 66 is not OLD and I do not know if his behaviour is a result of stroke, dimetia etc.

.

Chronologically, 66 isn't old, in todays world. I agree with that, but it is NOT to old for dementia or a stroke!! That is still my first feeling, that he needs to be checked out by a dorctor..like last week!!

I recently worked with a lady, age 65, why was in advanced stages of alzhiemers..had begun symptoms in her mid 50's!!

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:24 am

SnoozeControl wrote: For some reason, I was thinking CC was a guy at first. Even more eww than it already is.

Just checked Cheshire's profile...female.

cars · Post by **cars** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 11:55 am

All good advice from the Gardners, get him help fast, & move out faster! :wah:

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:40 pm

From a daughter who was sexually molested by her father - GET OUT IF THE HOUSE!!!!!

Then, get medical attention for your father.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 7:38 am

LilacDragon wrote: From a daughter who was sexually molested by her father - GET OUT IF THE HOUSE!!!!!

Then, get medical attention for your father.

*sidebar* Oh Sandi, I am so sorry for you. Truly.:-1

Cheshire Cat, have you talked with your mom yet? Keep us posted.

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 6:50 am

Well, I talked to my mother and she thinks that I am either over reacting or trying to create dramma. She thinks that since I am so fresh from such a bad relationship that I am just down an all men. But I brought my concerns to light and maybe she will notice other things that might be off. In the mean time I am working double shifts to get my self together and get out of that house. That was the plan in the first place, I just have a little more sense of urgency about getting out.:driving:

Thanks to everyone for their suppport and advice. :yh_hugs

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 6:24 am

Best of luck to you. Let us know how things are going . . .