Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey's old flame likes multiple O's

But she wonders how he'll give her those,

He got nekkid and bold,

In the tub so behold,

He poor willy shrunk, right under her nose!!
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Monkey's old flame likes multiple O's

But she wonders how he'll give her those,

He got nekkid and bold,

In the tub so behold,

He poor willy shrunk, right under her nose!!


Another case of envy, I'm thinking

Either that or you've been drinking

If 'under her nose'

I don't suppose

His willy would EVEN be shrinking
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The twins just bought a new car,

Before they went very far,

They dropped the transmission,

And blew the ignition,

Now they're stuck at the bar.
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Ol' monkey's in search of new booty

Old flames are often too snooty

They forget what they've got

Look for what's not

And totally neglect their duty
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Happy ol' monkey........

So monkey has found a nurse

He certainly could have done worse

She pampers him badly

And spoils him gladly

With her, his comfort comes first

Attached files
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

A nurse is sooo apropo,

Of all his diseases she'll know,

She can give shots,

And Monkey needs lots,

That nurse has sunk really low.
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

When all is done and finally said

And monkey's eulogy is finally read

I think you'll find

That in your mind

A lot of his problems are in YOUR head
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Feeling fit and full of vigor

Monkey cocked nursey's trigger

Hot dang!!!

What a bang!!!

Monkey gave her mortis rigor
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Now monkey is on a new mission

His 'nads are like neuclear fission

He's gone throug half

The nursing staff

The other half is still wishin'
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

A clean bill of health did appear

Ol' monkey's 'discharge' is all clear

So he's back on the street

With lovin' so sweet

For all the young ladies so dear
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey bumped into a sweet lass

While she was filling her car with gas

With such lovely bumpers

He tried to jump 'er

Instead he got knocked on his a$$
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abbey
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Monkey

Post by abbey »

Well monkey's as bright as a pin,

I'm sure he'll be making a din,

The ladies will run

When they see monkey come,

By noon he'll be living in sin. :-6
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey may not win them all

But he's not afraid of the fall

He takes what life gives

That's how he lives

With him it's balls to the wall!!!
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

abbey wrote: Well monkey's as bright as a pin,

I'm sure he'll be making a din,

The ladies will run

When they see monkey come,

By noon he'll be living in sin. :-6


..........heeeeeyyyyyyyyy abbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy !!!!!

great to hear from you:wah:
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: When all is done and finally said

And monkey's eulogy is finally read

I think you'll find

That in your mind

A lot of his problems are in YOUR head


Miss Monkey has written a verse,

She hopes it's sufficiently terse,

"At last Monkey's dead,

The worms can be fed,"

She can't think of anything worse.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

But Monkey's not actually dead,

Miss Monkey's just teched in the head,

She likes to pretend,

That's she's Monkeys friend,

Her meds, she needs to be fed.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Samantha is looking for action,

And 4rum is her attraction,

It's 4th of July,

So come, don't be shy,

Let's go cause a distraction!!
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Samantha is looking for action,

And 4rum is her attraction,

It's 4th of July,

So come, don't be shy,

Let's go cause a distraction!!


Just like a Roman candle

I'll make you too hot to handle

Then with a big bang

I don't give a dang

If there's an ensueing scandal
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Just like a Roman candle

I'll make you too hot to handle

Then with a big bang

I don't give a dang

If there's an ensueing scandal


Well THAT was just a delight!!

Let's do it again if we might,

I'm totally sure,

You're no amature,

Teach me til I get it right!!!

:-4
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Well THAT was just a delight!!

Let's do it again if we might,

I'm totally sure,

You're no amature,

Teach me til I get it right!!!

:-4


Aww... I LIKE the way you dunnit

If there were a prize, you'd a won it

From bottom to top

You didn't even stop

Had there been a sign, you'd a runnit :eek:
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I think that we're in a fix,

That Monkey has taken our pix,

He says he wants cash,

Or he'll sell the stash,

To the press to be shown at six!!!



Ackkkkkkkkkk
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I think that we're in a fix,

That Monkey has taken our pix,

He says he wants cash,

Or he'll sell the stash,

To the press to be shown at six!!!



Ackkkkkkkkkk


Well I don't see this as a mess

If he has no luck with the press

I'll pay his fee

He can sell them to me

I'd GLADLY pay to see you undressed.......... again :D
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Well I don't see this as a mess

If he has no luck with the press

I'll pay his fee

He can sell them to me

I'd GLADLY pay to see you undressed.......... again :D


I'm sure you have quite a collection!

Of pics of ME for inspection

and no I don't mind,

you keep what you find,

Just keep all them in your protection.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey returned from her trip,

With one Holy Quail in her grip,

She said it would lay,

A gold egg any day,

I think, Miss Monkey did flip.
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I'm sure you have quite a collection!

Of pics of ME for inspection

and no I don't mind,

you keep what you find,

Just keep all them in your protection.


Really there's just one selection

That could possibly raise your objection

Speaking of raising

It's just amazing

How that one lifts my *)&$*^*^! ... uh... (boing) ... correction ;)
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: Really there's just one selection

That could possibly raise your objection

Speaking of raising

It's just amazing

How that one lifts my *)&$*^*^! ... uh... (boing) ... correction ;)


Hey!

Attached files
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Hey!


Wut?
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Monkey went ridin' in his Cadillac

Girls in the front, beer in the back

Out on the town

Top rolled down

Girls not the car, see their rac?
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abbey
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Monkey

Post by abbey »

Monkey see Monkey do,

You naughty thing, you belong in the zoo.

The gals in the car they yelled him to stop

Sat down in the seat and pulled up their top.

Monkey screeched to a halt turned and said

"You bad bad girl, get off my head"

Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I see Abbey's got Monkey's number,

The zoo kicked him out, it's no wonder,

The zookeepers quit,

He gave them a fit,

With chaos, disorder and plunder.

Attached files
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

A pert scribe by the name of abbey

Was picked up by an off duty cabby

The cabby was funky

In fact it was monkey

"Run abbey, he's often crabby !!!"
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Hark hark, there's an "Amber alert!!"

They're looking for one young and pert,

Abbey went missing,

That Monkey was kissing!! (gasp)

I hope she doesn't get hurt.
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear 4rum please come help me find,

One whimsical Abbey's behind,

There's tracks in the dirt,

And here is her skirt!!!

She must be in a terrible bind!!
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abbey
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Monkey

Post by abbey »

Here i am, just come up for air,

Cheeky monkey took me home to his lair,

He wined me and dined me,

Kissed and refined me,

Satisfied....;) that's incredibly rare!
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

abbey wrote: Here i am, just come up for air,

Cheeky monkey took me home to his lair,

He wined me and dined me,

Kissed and refined me,

Satisfied....;) that's incredibly rare!


I'm amazed and full of chagrin

Seems monkey has scored again

He's quite debonair

(Except for the hair)

I guess it's his boyish grin

(...thanks for being such a good sport abbey)
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

abbey wrote: Here i am, just come up for air,

Cheeky monkey took me home to his lair,

He wined me and dined me,

Kissed and refined me,

Satisfied....;) that's incredibly rare!


Miss Monkey is mad as a hatter,

That Monkey to Abbey to batter,

While Sammie is grinning

About this shagrinning,

Whatever will be, is what matters.

You go Girl!
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Samantha is going away,

If only just for a day,

She'll sure miss her sweetie,

Yessiree peetie,

Be careful how you all play.
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abbey
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Monkey

Post by abbey »

Have a good trip hon.
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Samantha is going away,

If only just for a day,

She'll sure miss her sweetie,

Yessiree peetie,

Be careful how you all play.


:( :-3 :yh_brokeh :yh_cry
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abbey
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Monkey

Post by abbey »

Now 4rum is all of a dither,

His ardour has started to wither,

Come sit down by me,

We'll chat and then see,

If i can make you better, come hither.

4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

abbey wrote: Now 4rum is all of a dither,

His ardour has started to wither,

Come sit down by me,

We'll chat and then see,

If i can make you better, come hither.




Why yes thanks, I do feel better

You're quite the baby setter

This chat was good

But now I should

Go post her a little letter:yh_hugs
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abbey
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Monkey

Post by abbey »

4rum wrote: Why yes thanks, I do feel better

You're quite the baby setter

This chat was good

But now I should

Go post her a little letter:yh_hugs
That's good, she'll be over the moon,

A letter will be a nice boon,

Send her a kiss x

And she'll be in bliss,

And tell her to hurry back soon.
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha should be home tonight

She'll soon put everything right

She'll spank ol' monkey

An' kiss her bunky

Well... if I'm good... she might:D
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Hey everyone I am back,

I gave the Monkey a wack,

Now where is my 4rum?

Without him I'm hohum!!

Get ready, get set, I'll attack!!
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear Abbey you are very kind,

To help my dear 4rum unwind,

I had lots of fun,

But I missed my hun,

So Sweetie, what have you have in mind?

:D

Sammie is shot and is going to sleep now.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
4rum
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Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Oh boy! it's a brand new day

Guess who's already out to play

Samantha's back

Sweetly stacked

Sending some hugs out her way
Samantha
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Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I hear Monkey hit the casino,

He wanted to learn to play Keno,

He got all confused

On what numbers to chose,

So instead he chose some hot Latino!
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: I hear Monkey hit the casino,

He wanted to learn to play Keno,

He got all confused

On what numbers to chose,

So instead he chose some hot Latino!


Once in their room all macho

Monkey nibbled Lupe's nacho

She returned the favor

So he gave 'er flavor

And added sauce to her taco :yh_tong2
Samantha
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Monkey

Post by Samantha »

But Monkey had not had his fill,

He had needs to satisfy still,

Went to the jacuzzi,

To hunt for a floozie,

And there he met great Dr. Phil!!!
4rum
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Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

But Dr. Phil was a phoney

Full of pompous BAH-LONEY

Submissive frog

Oprah's lapdog

Her cookie cut, cultured croney. (cultured as in grown from her grain of sand)
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