Immediate Friction

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 10:06 am

Why is it there are certain people out there that when you around them there's immediatley some friction. My nephew's wife (not the ones who were married last night) and I are that way. We can tolerate each other only for so long. My husband sais it's because we are so much alike that we cannot get along. Apparantly we are both very independent folks and want stuff done our way.

Here's why I'm posting this. I had picked the location of the wedding because I wanted the photos to have a pretty background. Well apparantly while they were setting up yesterday, my niece made the decision to change the location. And it really hacked me off when I showed up out there early to help set up, to see it all already done and not in the spot I had chosen. I tryed to explain why I had chosen the other spot, but to no avail. So I just gave up the arguement and went with it. Then spent the rest of evening being ignored by several members of the family because I didn't like the way B. had chosen to set up.

Help me out here, folks, is there someone like this in your life. Someone who no matter what you can't just get along with?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 10:17 am

I am pretty easy to get along with, but I do have a strong personality.

The only time I would become 'difficult' is when I am pushed against a wall. I really don't do that to others and I *really* dislike having it done to me.

So . . . I must push back -- verbally, of course.

My hubby wishes I would back off with any comments but I am a confronter. He is not.

Sher, it seems like your other family members saw your side of the issue -- much more so than your niece's. GOOD!

I admire you for taking the high road. I guess on a day like that (a very important day in your family's life), you made the right decision.

And you are the bigger person for it

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 10:21 am

Thanks Cher, hubby just told me to get my panties untwisted and have fun. So that's what I did. I'm just crossing fingers and toes that the photos turned out ok.

I'm generally easy going and not the leader type. Just don't like it when folks change things on me without letting me know. :rolleyes:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 11:36 am

Sher, what are you doing here ? The forum moved over there 2 days ago. :rolleyes:

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 12:01 pm

Yea but I want it over -------------------------------------------------->

so there! :p

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 12:26 pm

I've had the (unpleasant) experience of meeting someone and immediately disliking her. A friend who saw the introduction said I looked as if the hairs on my neck were standing up. Funny thing, though, as it turned out that after a week or two, NOBODY liked her!

Do you think it's personality, or chemistry or pheromones or what?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:14 pm

Lulu2 wrote:

Do you think it's personality, or chemistry or pheromones or what?

It's a 'gut' feeling, I generally register what my gut is saying, ignore it to give that person the benefit of the doubt, then realise I should've listened to my gut after all!

My ex mother in law and I didn't see eye to eye, I couldn't stand being in the same room as her for long.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:57 pm

I have an aunt like this. And it's not that we can only tolerate each other for so long, it's that as soon as she walks into the room, I groan and make my way to the farthest corner available to me. She's one of those people with a voice that makes your teeth itch, she's constantly trying to push her religion on me and anyone else within earshot, she is judgemental of the way EVERYone else lives their life, as if she is the only one who's doing things "right."

Take our wedding reception, for example. When she learned it was on a Saturday, she said "But, you can't have it on Saturday, that's the Sabbath." Matt quickly told her, "That's YOUR Sabbath, not ours, so don't come if you don't want to." She didn't come. I took that as my wedding present from her.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 4:25 pm

My daughter in law... who is married to my oldest son. She loaths me, and I have no use for her. The price I pay, is that I dont get to see too much of my son. I do not understand what he is doing with her.. But then, I have not grasped the concept of raising your kids, and letting them go. I mean go go go. Like its over.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 4:40 pm

weeder wrote: My daughter in law... who is married to my oldest son. She loaths me, and I have no use for her. The price I pay, is that I dont get to see too much of my son. I do not understand what he is doing with her.. But then, I have not grasped the concept of raising your kids, and letting them go. I mean go go go. Like its over.

I'm not sure that that's what you ever do - with your children it's never over.

When they've grown up they're adults in their own right and they make the decisions of adults - the work they want to do, the people they want to associate with the risks they are prepared to take.

They're still your children and you still worry and try to give good advice but you no longer have any control.

Letting go is learning to respect the choices they've made at learning to live with their decisions. It's never over because the loss of control means that it's more frustrating and more of a worry than ever.

If it was over then you would no longer worry at all - it's over.

Forgive her for not being the woman you would have chosen for your son and accept her as the person he's chosen for himself.

Otherwise you run the risk of losing your son forever. (it damned neer happened to us with our middle daughter).

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 4:54 pm

I have tried and tried and tried. She is so needy and so socially dysfunctional that she seems to want him seperated from all family connections. He says that she finds me intimidating. In our case its a north, south thing.. totally different social behaviors. I have resigned myself to things being the way they are. It is very sad and depressing for me.