Don't know what to do to make it right

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:16 pm

Sometimes there are questions that we'll never know the answer to. But you can't always dwell on the coulda, shoulda, woulda's. You've just got remember the good times and go on. And from the little I've got to know you on the boards here, I have no doubt you were truely a good friend.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:40 pm

oh sweety:yh_hugs :yh_hugs , don't forget the folks, it's obvious they were very special to you. It's just that we can't always understand why people we care about do things such as suicide.

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:40 pm

Pinky, I do not think you should feel guilty about it. Sometimes we can help change things, and sometimes we cannot.

I had a student, named Ashley. A very bright girl in my GT class. Very vivacious, she charmed everyone around her.

She ran across the freeway one night, and didn't walk on the streets. Why she did this, I will never know. A car hit her, and she died. And the irony of it all, it was a police car that hit her. It was dark, she was running, there was nothing that could be done. We all were devastated.

I think of her all the time. I think of her every first of the month at church, when we have communion. Because I went to her service, at an old gospel fashion AME church, and they sang this one spiritual song, and I remembered it. I play it every month, thinking of her, and praying she is happy now.

Could I have stopped her? I do not think so. I did not know she would consider such a thing. Am I sad when I think of her? Yes, she was so sweet. She is always in a special place in my heart, she had that effect on us all.

I tell you this, so you know many of us here think these things, but we cannot change them. We love you Pinky.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 5:54 pm

I don't think we can understand it.

I used to think that way, when my husband was first ill. What if I had gone to the store instead of him? What if I had taken him to the doctor that day, but I did not know he was that sick, and he did not either? What if I had choosen some different option during his illness, would he have done better? Or worse?

There are always questions in our mind. And they surface from time to time. It isn't wrong to think of them, it's what we do with them afterwards. When we can sift through the deep emotions we have about it, then we can sometimes see-we could not help in these situations. We can only help in the ones before us now, that we know we can change.

Your work with your students is one example. You help them every day. The little things you do for them, may be that one thing that changes their lives forever. Or the random act of kindness you do for another, it could change their heart from sadnesss to joy.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 6:06 pm

*big hug*

You do what you must do, to get through these thoughts and feelings, Pinky. We are always here for you.

:-4

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 8:24 pm

Pinky your among friends here who care about you please know that we understand your pain. We will never know what makes people we love take their own lives they just do and we can only hope they are at peace now and forever more. Get some rest sweetie we are here for you..

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 12:38 pm

A friend of mine read tarot for 25 years. She is incredibly good. She quit reading for about 10 years after a good friend of hers came to her house for a reading. She told him not to go on a trip he had planned. That another person on the trip would cause a car accident and he would die. He didn't listen. He died. Exactly how she said.

She quit reading because she wondered what the point was if you couldn't stop bad things from happening. Eventually she realized that being able to foresee things doesn't mean that it is within your scope to stop them. It's a world full of individuals who all make up their own minds. She said something to her friend to stop him but she didn't follow him home or forcibly stop him from going. Where do you draw the line of responsibility? You didn't kill anyone. There is no need for absolution. Can you forgive yourself for not being omnipotent?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 12:47 pm

chonsigirl wrote: It isn't wrong to think of them, it's what we do with them afterwards. When we can sift through the deep emotions we have about it, then we can sometimes see-we could not help in these situations. We can only help in the ones before us now, that we know we can change.

Words of wisdom.

Pinky my dear friend, you take all the time you need. Lean on us. Talk with us, laugh with us, cry with us. We love you.:-4