Partner-less

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 11:52 am

This is for those of you Gardeners who are not in a relationship now, either divorced or just unattached. Is a romantic relationship :-4 something you wish for?

Or are you 'done' with that part of your life?

Are you content to be alone?

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 11:56 am

cherandbuster wrote: This is for those of you Gardeners who are not in a relationship now, either divorced or just unattached. Is a romantic relationship :-4 something you wish for?

Or are you 'done' with that part of your life?

Are you content to be alone?

I'll let you know in 6 months time.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:08 pm

Bez wrote: I'll let you know in 6 months time.

Fair response, my friend!

Best of luck to you always.:-4

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:10 pm

cherandbuster wrote: This is for those of you Gardeners who are not in a relationship now, either divorced or just unattached. Is a romantic relationship :-4 something you wish for?

Or are you 'done' with that part of your life?

Are you content to be alone?

I didn't wish for a romantic relationship after over ten years of a bad marriage, I thought I was done. Well maybe not done, but certainly thought I'd have a good long break.

I was content being on my own, certainly didn't want to commit to anyone.

There is someone in my circle of friends who I want more from, but one things for sure, he has to want me as much as I want him. I'm not settling for second best this time around.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I don't want a relationship for a relationships sake, the 'other' party has to be pretty special to me.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:12 pm

Betty Boop wrote: one things for sure, he has to want me as much as I want him. I'm not settling for second best this time around.

Good for you Bsquared (my nickname for you!). Sounds like your self-esteem is in a good place. That's so important, don't you think?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:12 pm

cherandbuster wrote: Good for you Bsquared (my nickname for you!). Sounds like your self-esteem is in a good place. That's so important, don't you think?

I guess so!

Bsquared!! :wah: :wah:

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:14 pm

Actually my thoughts are divided.

1 - I would love to experience the pleasure of a caring relationship ...doing things together....holding hands...

2 - I have become sceptical and a bit cynical about relationships and also so used to 'doing my own thing' that I'm not sure that I'd be able to 'share my space'....but I guess if the right person comes along...who knows.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:16 pm

Bsquared, this person in your circle of friends . . .

what is it about him that you find attractive? As you've gotten older, do you look for different things in a person? In other words, have your priorities changed concerning a potential partner's qualities?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:18 pm

Bez wrote: so used to 'doing my own thing' that I'm not sure that I'd be able to 'share my space'....but I guess if the right person comes along...who knows.

My hubby was 46 years old when we married. He had never been married before, although he had had several long-term relationships.

He definitely has things that are 'just his'. I call it his Single Guy Mentality. For example, he doesn't want me to drive his car. WTF???? This used to make me so mad:mad: I couldn't understand the logic of it.

Now I realize that we all have idiosyncracies (sp?). The trick is knowing which ones you can live with and which ones you cannot.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:19 pm

cherandbuster wrote: Bsquared, this person in your circle of friends . . .

what is it about him that you find attractive? As you've gotten older, do you look for different things in a person? In other words, have your priorities changed concerning a potential partner's qualities?

At the risk of being late to meet my brother!!!

I can't pinpoint what it is, he is no way anything like I have gone for in the past. I'll post more later when I get back from the pub.........maybe :wah:

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:21 pm

Unless he rides up to door on a white horse I'm not looking ...:wah: :wah: I have been a single mom now grandma since 1972 I don't think another marriage is in the card for me pushing the big 60...

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:24 pm

Carla, it sounds like you have a fulfilling life without having romance in it. And many times, it truly isn't worth the bother.

Sounds like you enjoy your own company.:-6

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:25 pm

cherandbuster wrote:

Now I realize that we all have idiosyncracies (sp?). The trick is knowing which ones you can live with and which ones you cannot.

This sounds like good advice Cher. :-4

ZAP · Post by **ZAP** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:31 pm

CARLA wrote: Unless he rides up to door on a white horse I'm not looking ...:wah: :wah: I have been a single mom now grandma since 1972 I don't think another marriage is in the card for me pushing the big 60...

Sometimes ya can't trust the ones who do come riding up on a white horse, to wit: my 2nd Ex-Mister

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:55 pm

My hubby is gray, balding and overweight.

Yet I'm fiercely attracted to him.

He is a bright, kind, patient and admirable human being.

And that's what love is to me:-4

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:31 pm

Guess this is as good a time as any to open up

Personally, I've never been married. I've been in several relationship, one of which (the last serious one) ended disastrously, well actually, it was disastrous throughout. I've had, since that time, several very strong friendships that were extremely special to me, but my own fear stopped me from letting them go any further. I suppose that one day I'd like to be married, and to have a lasting relationship in which each of us are equal, but for now, I'm content to raise my son and date here and there, until I feel secure not only with whoever I'm destined to be with, but with myself as well. Scars are a bitch eh

Course, I'd have to actually have the time to devote to a budding relationship, and right now it seems there aren't enough hours in the days to accomplish what's on my plate.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:34 pm

Mystery wrote: Guess this is as good a time as any to open up

Thanks for doing so, Mystery. Your thoughts and feelings are safe with us.:-6

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:38 pm

cherandbuster wrote: Thanks for doing so, Mystery. Your thoughts and feelings are safe with us.:-6

Seems that way. This place is full of compassion, while at the same time there's great good humor and fun to be had as well. Thanks for that.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:44 pm

Mystery wrote: Scars are a bitch eh

Yeah, scars are a bitch, Mystery.

The secret is to *not* let them take away your hope and optimism. It's much too easy to become cynical. It's hard work to stay positive.

I highly recommend it, though:-6

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:51 pm

cherandbuster wrote: Yeah, scars are a bitch, Mystery.

The secret is to *not* let them take away your hope and optimism. It's much too easy to become cynical. It's hard work to stay positive.

I highly recommend it, though:-6

Strangest thing, but I'm positive about darn near everything in this world. Tend to see the good in everything, including people. Just this one little area, I experience the fear of what could happen, knowing full well it's irrational and, well, pointless, but there ya go

I could also just say I'm a weirdo

Truthfully, though, at this point in my life, being on my own is fine with me. At another forum I frequent, someone once said to me how could I stand the loneliness, but for me there's a tremendous difference between being alone and being lonely.

Midouri · Post by **Midouri** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:02 pm

After 16yrs in a controlling relationship I am enjoying the chance to make decisions for myself (although it was frightening at first)

What annoys me is those who think I need to be "out there" hunting for new love, it's been 10months and I am finally able to breathe free... never say never, but right now singledom is fine by me!:)

Mystery · Post by **Mystery** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:04 pm

Midouri wrote: After 16yrs in a controlling relationship I am enjoying the chance to make decisions for myself (although it was frightening at first)

What annoys me is those who think I need to be "out there" hunting for new love, it's been 10months and I am finally able to breathe free... never say never, but right now singledom is fine by me!:)

Good for you Midouri

Enjoy and embrace yourself, for I'm sure you'll find much more to you than you ever thought was there before

Midouri · Post by **Midouri** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:10 pm

There's certainly a few more inches than there was 16years ago...a little more difficult to embrace than it was back then!!:-3

Partner -less is working for me right now, yes I get lonely sometimes, but it passes!!

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:26 pm

Good for you Midouri it get easier with each passing day, just like loneliness you will be fine.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 6:17 pm

Snooze I couldn't agree more, I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is at the present time..

[QUOTE]I don't feel lonely, but I cherish my aloneness, if that makes sense. At my age, I just don't want to be arsed with all the mating rituals. [/QUOTE]

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 12:54 am

Mystery wrote: but for me there's a tremendous difference between being alone and being lonely.

And therein lies the distinction:-6

During my first marriage,which only lasted three years, I felt very lonely. I used to say to people, "There's nothing worse than being married and feeling alone. It's the loneliest feeling in the world."

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:46 am

Just a quick thanks to everyone for their input to this thread....you have answered a lot of questions that have been in the back of my mind and confirmed a lot of my past and current feelings.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:01 am

cherandbuster wrote: And therein lies the distinction:-6

During my first marriage,which only lasted three years, I felt very lonely. I used to say to people, "There's nothing worse than being married and feeling alone. It's the loneliest feeling in the world."
Oh, this is so true. I wasn't maried to this guy, but we'd lived together for 5 years. For the last 2, it was like he wasn't even there. And that it really didn't matter if he was or not. That's a pretty good clue for a relationship in trouble. :yh_rotfl

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 3:14 am

I've always been solitary, but never lonely. I went through a period of loneliness feelings when I was a young man but grew out of them. Now, my space is sacred to me.

I feel whole just as myself. The idea of meeting a soulmate is endearing, but I take each day as it comes. It isn't a quest. I find making friends very easy and they exist all over the country. Now, through FG, I have even more friends spread around the world.

Lonely - never.

Alone - rarely.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 6:03 am

Bez wrote: Just a quick thanks to everyone for their input to this thread....you have answered a lot of questions that have been in the back of my mind and confirmed a lot of my past and current feelings.

Well you are certainly welcome, Bez

After all, you are our beloved:-4

Mongoose · Post by **Mongoose** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:55 am

cherandbuster wrote: This is for those of you Gardeners who are not in a relationship now, either divorced or just unattached. Is a romantic relationship :-4 something you wish for?

Or are you 'done' with that part of your life?

Are you content to be alone?

While I would like to be in a romantic relationship and get married one day, I am quite content to be alone. This is probably because at 22 I have reached that age where my friends have started to get into serious relationships (some are married now or are just about to get married!) but I'm also conscious that at 22 I still have a lot of my life ahead of me (hopefully). This means that there is plenty of time for that special girl to turn up in my life, unless shes there already and I've not noticed her yet :wah: .

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 9:36 am

Good luck to you Mongoose

May you find true love

And may it find you :-6

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:27 am

Bez wrote: I'll let you know in 6 months time.

awww Bez, just think you will soon be taking charge of your life and you can do as you please