the influence of parental relationships

charity2k4 · Post by **charity2k4** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:57 am

To what extent has your parental role models inluenced the way you view or conduct your relationships ?

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:00 pm

charity2k4 wrote: To what extent has your parental role models inluenced the way you view or conduct your relationships ?

I was brought up in a very loving family. I had kindness in my life every day. I think the biggest thing I gained from my parental units was innocent until proven guilty, give everybody a fair chance. I always try to see the good in people first. Not that that has always worked, but I try.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:01 pm

Im not even getting started on this one. I would monopolize the entire thread! My father is BPD and I see a therapist. I just sent my "confrontation letter" and all hell has broken loose.

I can say: I became aware of his influence around 22 years old and tried to correct any damage that I saw before it manifested itself in my relationship. My husband and I have a rock solid awesome marriage and its been going strong almost 3 years. We've been together 7.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:15 pm

My parents influenced my life greatly, in how I raised my children, in how I perceive everyone for the unique and beautiful individual they are, gosh-in lots of ways.

charity2k4 · Post by **charity2k4** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:35 pm

DesignerGal wrote: My father is BPD and I see a therapist. I just sent my "confrontation letter" and all hell has broken loose.

you cant be going through an easy time time right now, but at least you have the support of your husband, confronting issues shows inner strength, i hope you work through it and the outcome brings what you are hoping to gain from it...good luck

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:12 pm

My family was never one for showing PDA..public displays of affection. Therefore I find myself being the same way...I am pretty reserved about showing my true feelings publicly.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:12 pm

charity2k4 wrote: you cant be going through an eay time time right now, but at least you have the support of your husband, confronting issues shows inner strength, i hope you work through it and the outcome brings what you are hoping to gain from it...good luck

Thanks. It is a roller coaster thats for sure. I am so thankful that I have mu husband and his parents. His parents are so loving and supportive you could throw up from all the normalcy. I need it though and its the one thing keeping me from totally falling apart in relationships.

I think for the most part, though, my mother taught me to have ALOT of compassion. Almost to a fault.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:16 pm

DesignerGal wrote: His parents are so loving and supportive you could throw up from all the normalcy.

My sister's husband jokingly makes fun of how loving and expressive my family is. He says that after visiting with us, he needs to immediately go the Joslin Clinic (a treatment center for diabetes). He says we're so sweet it almost makes him sick:)

My hubby's family, on the other hand, are close but not at all openly expressive. Sometimes my husband and I will look at each other and say, "HOW did we EVER end up together?!" :-6

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:23 pm

cherandbuster wrote: My sister's husband jokingly makes fun of how loving and expressive my family is. He says that after visiting with us, he needs to immediately go the Joslin Clinic (a treatment center for diabetes). He says we're so sweet it almost makes him sick:)

My hubby's family, on the other hand, are close but not at all openly expressive. Sometimes my husband and I will look at each other and say, "HOW did we EVER end up together?!" :-6

That is so awesome!

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:25 pm

DesignerGal wrote: That is so awesome!

Oh thank you, DGal.

And the beauty of it is that we REALLY appreciate it. We know we are lucky and treasure what we have.

May you have that someday with your own children, my friend :-4

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:21 pm

Wow, what a great thread topic.

My parents were so diametrically opposite in their views, beliefs and how they saw the world, that I think I got a fair sampling from very opposite sides of the spectrum. My mom is passive, to a point, and my father is all in-your-face, hard-ass (acting) racist.

I took from both of them what they had to teach me and evolved it into what I am today. My dad is more a friend than a real dad, but we get along very well. My mother can drive me nuts sometimes with her constant worrying, and her somewhat "snobby" ways. But she is my staunchest supporter in this thing with Matt, and is geting very pro-active in the appeal. If there's one person in this world I know I can count on for anything at all, it's my mother.

charity2k4 · Post by **charity2k4** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 2:42 pm

BabyRider wrote: If there's one person in this world I know I can count on for anything at all, it's my mother.
so your mom has left you an firm imprint of knowing what is to be loyal and dependable, thats sweet :-4