I need advice. How do I start this?
I had lunch/dinner the other day with my uncle. He's my late aunt's widower. Well, we had a nice chat & all. Afterward, he paid. Then he walked me out to my car & we hugged each other (what I thought was) good-bye. Then I went to give him a peck on the lips. He tried to kiss me romantically & realized I wasn't. It was a very awkward situation, at least for me!!! He's always been my uncle & the father of my 3 cousins. I'll never be able to look at him the same way again!
My daughter didn't seem as phased by it as I was. Am I blowing it out of proportion???
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cherandbuster
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Wow obs -- that was a very uncomfortable situation. And so unexpected!
I guess that for 'family harmony' you can choose to act like it never happened. Yes, it was inappropriate, and you do have the right to bring it up for discussion with him. I just wonder what that would accomplish.
But . . . I don't think you've overreacted. That was warped behavior indeed. :-2
I guess that for 'family harmony' you can choose to act like it never happened. Yes, it was inappropriate, and you do have the right to bring it up for discussion with him. I just wonder what that would accomplish.
But . . . I don't think you've overreacted. That was warped behavior indeed. :-2
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PASSION!:guitarist
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OB1 I would try and approach said uncle and just mention that you felt uncomfortable with that "peck" . That wasn't very cool on his part.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
• Mae West
• Mae West
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Bill Sikes
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observer1 wrote: I had lunch/dinner the other day with my uncle. He's my late aunt's widower. Well, we had a nice chat & all. Afterward, [...] I went to give him a peck on the lips. He tried to kiss me romantically [...]I'll never be able to look at
him the same way again! [...] Am I blowing it out of proportion???
Perhaps you misunderstood his intent. Perhaps he was emotional for some
reason. Perhaps all sorts of things. Unless you slapped him, or have "done
something" to make some further action or comment likely, I'd be inclined to
simply ignore this, but take good care not to put yourself in a position where
the same could happen again. It's only an (attempted?) kiss, the reasons for
which are unclear, after all. Observe, without being overt - but being neutral
and unbiased (if you can!) his future behaviour, and go from there.
"Once is unfortunate, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action".
him the same way again! [...] Am I blowing it out of proportion???
Perhaps you misunderstood his intent. Perhaps he was emotional for some
reason. Perhaps all sorts of things. Unless you slapped him, or have "done
something" to make some further action or comment likely, I'd be inclined to
simply ignore this, but take good care not to put yourself in a position where
the same could happen again. It's only an (attempted?) kiss, the reasons for
which are unclear, after all. Observe, without being overt - but being neutral
and unbiased (if you can!) his future behaviour, and go from there.
"Once is unfortunate, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action".
Sticky Situation
You have to be absolutely sure that he wasnt reacting as if you meant to do the same, so as not to make you feel embarrassed. He isnt related to you persay, so I dont find his actions absurd as I would if you were. Seems to me like just misunderstanding between the opposites of sex.....quite frankly its rather common. As for your relationship with him, he already knows that you hadnt meant the kiss in such a way, so I imagine he is rather embarrassed, but none the less not a big deal in my opinion.
If you want a little advice.....
guys think of a kiss on the lips as quite romantic.....
if you wish to show affection that is meant other than romantically, I would suggest keeping the cheek in mind.
If you want a little advice.....
guys think of a kiss on the lips as quite romantic.....
if you wish to show affection that is meant other than romantically, I would suggest keeping the cheek in mind.
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K.Snyder wrote: You have to be absolutely sure that he wasnt reacting as if you meant to do the same, so as not to make you feel embarrassed. He isnt related to you persay, so I dont find his actions absurd as I would if you were. Seems to me like just misunderstanding between the opposites of sex.....quite frankly its rather common. As for your relationship with him, he already knows that you hadnt meant the kiss in such a way, so I imagine he is rather embarrassed, but none the less not a big deal in my opinion.
If you want a little advice.....
guys think of a kiss on the lips as quite romantic.....
if you wish to show affection that is meant other than romantically, I would suggest keeping the cheek in mind.
Unless of course he was blatantly aggressive, and knew how you felt about him personally....
then i would say his ape like actions deserves and explanation.
If you want a little advice.....
guys think of a kiss on the lips as quite romantic.....
if you wish to show affection that is meant other than romantically, I would suggest keeping the cheek in mind.
Unless of course he was blatantly aggressive, and knew how you felt about him personally....
then i would say his ape like actions deserves and explanation.
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Agreeing with other comments here, but I'm wondering....did he have a drink or two with his meal? He may have been overreacting and a bit tipsy, too.
My candle's burning at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--It gives a lovely light!--Edna St. Vincent Millay
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K.Snyder wrote: You have to be absolutely sure that he wasnt reacting as if you meant to do the same, so as not to make you feel embarrassed. He isnt related to you persay, so I dont find his actions absurd as I would if you were. Seems to me like just misunderstanding between the opposites of sex.....quite frankly its rather common. As for your relationship with him, he already knows that you hadnt meant the kiss in such a way, so I imagine he is rather embarrassed, but none the less not a big deal in my opinion.
If you want a little advice.....
guys think of a kiss on the lips as quite romantic.....
if you wish to show affection that is meant other than romantically, I would suggest keeping the cheek in mind.
I have to agree with you K. He's not a child molester. Nor would I be afraid to have my daughter around him. I think he was possibly hoping for more. But I could never think of him as more than my uncle. He's a very nice man who would never harm anyone.
As far as the peck on the lips, I wanted to kiss him on the cheek... he never turned his head!
BTW, in answer to my daughter's age, she's 19 & the mother of 2 little boys.
If you want a little advice.....
guys think of a kiss on the lips as quite romantic.....
if you wish to show affection that is meant other than romantically, I would suggest keeping the cheek in mind.
I have to agree with you K. He's not a child molester. Nor would I be afraid to have my daughter around him. I think he was possibly hoping for more. But I could never think of him as more than my uncle. He's a very nice man who would never harm anyone.
As far as the peck on the lips, I wanted to kiss him on the cheek... he never turned his head!
BTW, in answer to my daughter's age, she's 19 & the mother of 2 little boys.
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observer1 wrote:
As far as the peck on the lips, I wanted to kiss him on the cheek... he never turned his head!
Oh!
Then im afraid he has some explaining to do. Obviously his only line of defense would be that he had thought you both had a sort of attraction for each other and he was testing the water. If, of course, it was plainly obvious that you didnt feel in such a way for him(obviously by some reasonable range of intelligence and/or perception) then his actions were totally driven by lust, and very much unacceptable. If this is the case, I find him to be a very disrespectful person and if I were of any distance would probably knock his fn face off.
As far as the peck on the lips, I wanted to kiss him on the cheek... he never turned his head!
Oh!
Then im afraid he has some explaining to do. Obviously his only line of defense would be that he had thought you both had a sort of attraction for each other and he was testing the water. If, of course, it was plainly obvious that you didnt feel in such a way for him(obviously by some reasonable range of intelligence and/or perception) then his actions were totally driven by lust, and very much unacceptable. If this is the case, I find him to be a very disrespectful person and if I were of any distance would probably knock his fn face off.
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I'd just like to believe that he's lonely since my aunt passed away over 2 years ago. The problem is that he needs to look outside of the family. Even though we're not blood-related... we're still related through marriage. And his children ARE blood-related to me. Even if he is attracted to me, he's known me practically since I was a baby. And I thought of him as a second father.
I still think he's a decent guy, just a bit confused. He needs a woman!
I still think he's a decent guy, just a bit confused. He needs a woman!
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observer1 wrote: And his children ARE blood-related to me. Even if he is attracted to me, he's known me practically since I was a baby. And I thought of him as a second father.
I still think he's a decent guy, just a bit confused. He needs a woman!
Oh
I hadnt realized his children are blood related to you. This makes his actions even more inappropriate in my opinion.
Needing a woman and wanting sex is two different things.....Im not sold on the vulnerable bit.
I still think he's a decent guy, just a bit confused. He needs a woman!
Oh
I hadnt realized his children are blood related to you. This makes his actions even more inappropriate in my opinion.
Needing a woman and wanting sex is two different things.....Im not sold on the vulnerable bit.
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K.Snyder wrote: Oh
I hadnt realized his children are blood related to you. This makes his actions even more inappropriate in my opinion.
Needing a woman and wanting sex is two different things.....Im not sold on the vulnerable bit.
I don't know. I agree. I don't want to, though. I want to believe that he was just confused. I don't believe that I gave him any reason to believe there was more though.
I hadnt realized his children are blood related to you. This makes his actions even more inappropriate in my opinion.
Needing a woman and wanting sex is two different things.....Im not sold on the vulnerable bit.
I don't know. I agree. I don't want to, though. I want to believe that he was just confused. I don't believe that I gave him any reason to believe there was more though.
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papaboo951
- Posts: 74
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Whoa, I bet that was uncomfortable. Just go 1 on 1 with him, and tell him. Leave family(drama) out of it. And let it be.
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SnoozeControl wrote: Trying to give the man the benefit of the doubt here...
1. He's undoubtedly lonely
2. You're attractive
3. You aren't related by blood (I believe, did I get that wrong?)
4. You're single, aren't you?
I can't believe some of the assumptions here that this man might molest your daughter strictly on the information you've given us. Give him a little credit and just explain you aren't interested in him in that way and that you hope you can continue to be friends. I don't see it being any different than a co-worker seeing if he has a chance with you. Awkward yes, but relationships can bloom from stranger situations.
If he's a blood relative, then I withdraw my previous comments.
1. Yes Snooze, I believe he's lonely.
2.
3. We're not related by blood, but his children & I are (his wife was my mother's sister).
4. Yes, I'm single.
No, he's not a child molester. Just lonely, IMO.
1. He's undoubtedly lonely
2. You're attractive
3. You aren't related by blood (I believe, did I get that wrong?)
4. You're single, aren't you?
I can't believe some of the assumptions here that this man might molest your daughter strictly on the information you've given us. Give him a little credit and just explain you aren't interested in him in that way and that you hope you can continue to be friends. I don't see it being any different than a co-worker seeing if he has a chance with you. Awkward yes, but relationships can bloom from stranger situations.
If he's a blood relative, then I withdraw my previous comments.
1. Yes Snooze, I believe he's lonely.
2.
3. We're not related by blood, but his children & I are (his wife was my mother's sister).
4. Yes, I'm single.
No, he's not a child molester. Just lonely, IMO.