hypothetical

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 1:05 pm

lets have a hypothetical thread

your son has just told you he's gay, his partner turns out to be your x boyfriend, they were seeing each other whilst you were together, you had no idea, you were not aware your x was bisexual, your x finished with you, you loved him very much & thought it was a lifelong commitment, you are still trying to get over him, your son tells you they are hoping to adopt a baby

the reverse for men, its your daughter & x girlfriend

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 2:08 pm

OK, this is definatly purly hypothetical, as I do not have children. But I would be disappointed and upset that I did not see or suspect the relationship was going on.

Then, if I felt my ex was an decent guy, otherwise, I guess I would support the relationship.

Here is an anecdote for you, similar theme. Rick was in a two year long relationship (live in) with a woman, which ended about a year before we met. Part of the reason for the breakup? He found out his stepson (from former wife) and this woman were seeing each other, and had been for several months!! Thing is, step son was still married at the time.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 2:23 pm

sometimes the reality beggars belief doesent it marie, i hope no-one has ever had to go through the hypothetical situation i descibed, ive heard of a few situations like ricks with his x, its hard to believe people could be so cruel to each other & sad that it seems to be more common than we think

how did he cope with it/ come to terms with it? if you dont mind me asking

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:38 pm

buttercup wrote: sometimes the reality beggars belief doesent it marie, i hope no-one has ever had to go through the hypothetical situation i descibed, ive heard of a few situations like ricks with his x, its hard to believe people could be so cruel to each other & sad that it seems to be more common than we think

how did he cope with it/ come to terms with it? if you dont mind me asking

As Rick puts it, he gave up Charlie, and kept Brenda (Charlie's now ex wife, and mom to the two kids I mention here)

His relationship with ex girlfriend was broke anyway, before the Charlie thing. They broke all contact when they broke up. He says it was harder not seing her kids anymore than not seeing her.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:51 pm

I dont know how I would deal with that Scot girl. I mean that stuff doesnt come in the handbook. Im not qualified for this. Plus I have to go buy crackers now.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 3:55 pm

I am thinking like Floppy, except she is nicer, she would send Christmas cards.

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sun Jul 23, 2006 11:04 pm

buttercup wrote: lets have a hypothetical thread

your son has just told you he's gay, his partner turns out to be your x boyfriend, they were seeing each other whilst you were together, you had no idea, you were not aware your x was bisexual, your x finished with you, you loved him very much & thought it was a lifelong commitment, you are still trying to get over him, your son tells you they are hoping to adopt a baby

the reverse for men, its your daughter & x girlfriend

What would you do, how would you react - i, would get an AIDS test

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:18 am

hi pants

i would be destroyed & require strong anti depressants & councelling

i would do my best to not let anyone know how much it bothered me, stiff upper lip n all that

i probably wouldent have thought of an aids test, good thinking girl

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 2:38 am

buttercup wrote: lets have a hypothetical thread

your son has just told you he's gay, his partner turns out to be your x boyfriend, they were seeing each other whilst you were together, you had no idea, you were not aware your x was bisexual, your x finished with you, you loved him very much & thought it was a lifelong commitment, you are still trying to get over him, your son tells you they are hoping to adopt a baby

the reverse for men, its your daughter & x girlfriend

Wow, this is a toughie!!

to be honest, It would be a lot to cope with, I mean, youv'e got three big issues rolled into one.

1. having split up with my girlfriend, your gonna be suffering from the usual heart ache that goes along with that. We all know how that feels, we've all been through that little phase.

2. My daughters Gay. Now, I have no problem whatsoever with homosexuals, I have many friends who are gay. What would concern me is making sure my daughter got as much of the right support as possible.

3. My daughter wan'ts to adopt a baby. Is she doing this for the right reasons? Does she need any support financially etc etc... These are all things that I think a potential grandparent would want to make sure were all ok.

But.... My daughters gay partner is my ex girlfriend and they want to adopt a baby? Well, I suppose that how I would feel would depend on how close myself and my daughter were. If we were very close, I would have to ask myself what role my ex-girlfriend had in her relationship with my daughter: did she force the situation? did she manipulate my daughter in any way? It may be my fault in some way. I think there are far to many variables in this to come up with a concrete answer.

Either way, it's gonna make a traumatic time even worse.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:14 am

I'd probably call Jerry Springer because all the necessary elements are there to be on his show.

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:16 am

DesignerGal wrote: I'd probably call Jerry Springer because all the necessary elements are there to be on his show.

True.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 8:50 am

woppy71 wrote: But.... My daughters gay partner is my ex girlfriend and they want to adopt a baby?

Sounds like a Lifetime movie of the week, doesn't it?

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 8:54 am

I think my first reaction would be...."oh I need to go throw up" I have no clue what I would do or feel beyond that. Will think on this one.