If my body were a car

Grumpaz · Post by **Grumpaz** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:48 am

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about

trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is

getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things

up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of

weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks

or my exhaust backfires!

Attached files

LilacDragon · Post by **LilacDragon** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:49 am

Amen!!!

ZAP · Post by **ZAP** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:51 am

You are still a Rolles Royce in my Blue Book! :driving:

Grumpaz · Post by **Grumpaz** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:57 am

Awww Zap....people are gonna think I paid you to day that.

*the check is in the mail*

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 10:35 am

Oh, STOP! I was going to say you're still a JAGUAR in my book! Sleek, fast, colorful and NOISY!

(Ducking and RUNNING.......) :-4

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 10:57 am

I'm a '54 classic Chevy.......................................

Hugh Janus · Post by **Hugh Janus** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:33 am

Sounds more like a Citroen 2CV to me. But, they do actually come out of the factory running like that....:wah:

Only J/K,

Get yourself a respray. A nice tan colour.

Don't worry if the upholstery is getting a little fuller. A nice soft something to snuggle into is a wow factor with the young ladies.

Remember, speed isn't everything. Getting there safely in one piece is the main thing.

The occasional backfire is to be expected. Try using a better grade fuel.

A backfire is preferential to unburnt fuel coming out of the exhaust pipe.:p

Above all else. Be aware that a vintage motor is generally better built and has proved its lasting power over some of the more modern rubbish that has been churned out over the last 20yrs or so.

PS. I have just read your "Bio." My mind is now being severely boggled

Quote.Biography:

I'm a partially disabled woman who loves to crochet afghans

OK. Just how do you "Crochet an Afghan? My uncle had an Afghan, and it was the most stupid dog I ever saw. However I do not think that he would have allowed himself to be "Crocheted" Also I don't think that there would be much call for a bedspread that would

a) Howl at the moon.

b) Need feeding.

c) Need house training.

d) would remove itself from the bed whenever it felt like it. :wah:

annabelle · Post by **annabelle** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 12:08 pm

Would swap a new showroom model for a vintage any day of the week, so much more class.

Grumpaz · Post by **Grumpaz** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 1:09 pm

Hugh--OK. Just how do you "Crochet an Afghan? My uncle had an Afghan, and it was the most stupid dog I ever saw. However I do not think that he would have allowed himself to be "Crocheted"

Ok, I admit it's a bit hard to do but anything is possible. With a little sedation they don't even know what's going on. By using a variety of stitching techniques an Afghan can turn out to be quite lovely and possibly feel cooler without all that long hair getting tangled and matted.

And Afghans wash and dry like rags so maintenance is quite simple.

Anything else you'd like to ask me, Hugh?? I'm just full of answers. :p

ZAP · Post by **ZAP** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 1:17 pm

G-az, Could you crochet a Collie as well as an Afghan?

ZAP · Post by **ZAP** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 1:59 pm

:yh_chickn Afghan crocheting? I suspect that this is very much like that old Snipe Hunting trick my brothers used to pull on me. Everyone knows that the snipes in Kansas are very much like the grunion running in California: only at certain times and under certain conditions.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 2:31 pm

grunion Runs? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! :-5 :-5

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 4:39 pm

That's why I'm along for the ride.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:50 am

I fall into the 'Vintage' category, so although I'm a bit 'clapped out' people still look on me with fondness and nostalgia.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:51 am

onsekiz wrote: i don't want to get older

Inevitable my friend....just enjoy life....every era has it's positives :-6