Things You DON'T Say to the Cops!

[chocoholic]

:-2 When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"



• Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.



• I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.



• Yeah, you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?



• Aren't you the guy from the Village People?



• You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?



• Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!



• Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!



• Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.



• I pay your salary!



• I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.



• Wow! You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.



• Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.



• I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket.



• I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!



• How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.



• Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!



• Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?



• Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?



• You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.



• "Bad Cop! No Donut!"



• Want to race to the station, Sparky?



• I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!



• You'll never get those cuffs on me...You *****!



• On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.



• Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?



• So, are you still crabby because your mama didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?



• Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.



( Found on uglyjackass.com)

[sunny104]

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[Peg]

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