asking a girl out

bulldawgz1003 · Post by **bulldawgz1003** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 9:35 am

Okay, y'all, I could use some help and advice here...

*Discussing with everyone on the forums*

So, all year at school, I wanted to ask this girl out. But, here's the problem (or problems if you will),

1) I had no idea what to say to her.

2) I have a fear of rejection.

3) I'd never done this before. (hey, first time for everything, right)

I need some help as to how I could get her to say "yes". PLEASE HELP!!!

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 9:38 am

bulldawgz1003 wrote: Okay, y'all, I could use some help and advice here...

*Digressing with everyone on the forums*

Not sure what you mean there.

bulldawgz1003 wrote: So, all year at school, I wanted to ask this girl out. But, here's the problem (or problems if you will),

1) I had no idea what to say to her.

2) I have a fear of rejection.

3) I'd never done this before. (hey, first time for everything, right)

I need some help as to how I could get her to say "yes".

Presumably you've been talking to her all year? Hopefully she's not otherwise

taken?

bulldawgz1003 · Post by **bulldawgz1003** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 9:43 am

Bill Sikes wrote: Presumably you've been talking to her all year? Hopefully she's not otherwise taken?

Not a whole lot, I talk to her rarely and often for a short time.

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 9:46 am

bulldawgz1003 wrote: Not a whole lot, I talk to her rarely and often for a short time.

Probably you should talk to her more. We girls love attention, give her a little, but don't be a stalker. Girls hate that. :-6

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 10:00 am

She probably feels just like you do. A little nervous and hesitant. But

she's talked to you a little already, and that's a good sign. She might

even be wondering/hoping you WILL ask her out.

We all have that fear of rejection. But it does go away eventually.

How should you ask her out? Try and keep it casual, no big deal. If

you know any of her likes and dislikes, that will help. If not, you'll

have to wing it, but it still shouldn't be too hard.

Say "I was thinking of hitting that county fair Saturday wanna come

with me?" Or, "Have you ever been to that great pizza place down on

Fourth Street? I'd love to take you".

A lot of times girls are just as happy with the simple stuff as elaborate

planned out dates. More, even. Save the elaborate stuff for when you

get to know each other better. Prom or something.

Take a deep breath and RELAX. I know it's hard, but you CAN do it.

:-6

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 10:00 am

bulldawgz1003 wrote: Not a whole lot, I talk to her rarely and often for a short time.

Well, before actually asking her out, I should chat her up a bit, if I were you. If

you just say (for instance) "Oh darling thing, how about coming out with me next

Saturday to the film?" then it'll be a bit of a bolt from the blue, & she's likely to

clam up. So, talk to her, in a normal sort of relaxed way, about something

(possibly, although not necessarily, school-related), when a natural opportunity

(or an engineered one) presents itself (try not to just walk up to her and start

blurting things out). A few words will do for a start, as you have been doing, but

more often. Get noticed a bit, and work from there.

Unfortunately, it may be that she won't have anything to do with you. In that

case, having tested the water, as it were, before asking her out, you will know,

and won't be in danger of "rejection", since you won't have asked, if you see

what I mean.

When you say "at school", does that mean you are a pupil? At what stage of

schooling?

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 10:02 am

valerie wrote: A lot of times girls are just as happy with the simple stuff as elaborate

planned out dates. More, even.

Elaborate plans are more likely to go wrong, IMO. The more you plan, the less

flexible you can be!

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 10:11 am

Bill Sikes wrote: Elaborate plans are more likely to go wrong, IMO. The more you plan, the less

flexible you can be!

Not quite sure here... are you just agreeing with me?

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 10:26 am

Hey Bull, how old are you guys?

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 10:26 am

CheshireCat wrote: Hey Bull, how old are you guys?

His profile says he just turned 15.

(And Happy Belated Bday!)

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 10:33 am

valerie wrote: His profile says he just turned 15.

(And Happy Belated Bday!)

:yh_doh Duh! Thanks, Val!

You could try to get a group thing going. I don't know, pick a movie that everyone want to see and get your friends together so you can say to her "Hey a bunch of us are going to the movies, wanna come?" Then you can ease into something more one on one.

bulldawgz1003 · Post by **bulldawgz1003** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 11:36 am

Well, Bill Sikes,

Indeed I am in high school.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:26 pm

Hiya Bulldawgz,

everyone fears rejection!

Have you ever seen 'Back to the Future'? In the first one, Marty McFly won't play the music he loves publicly because he fears rejection, then he meets his dad as a teenager and he won't publish his sci-fi stories because he fears rejection, and then his grandfather wont expand his farm (or something) because he fears rejection ..... do ya see a pattern here?

Happens to us all kiddo!

I would start by being friendly as you don't need to rush things. Start by saying 'Your hair looks really nice today'. You can say that and it's not too mushy. But girls go gooey at stuff like that!

Smile at her when you see her. Maybe 'arrange' to 'accidentally' leave school at the same time as her and perhaps offer to carry her books or go in her direction and say you're going to such-and-such shop and can you walk with her?

Tell her her eyes sparkle in this light or say you like the way she laughs.

Say it bit by bit. Let her enjoy the compliment and she'll look forward to the next one. You like music so why not tell her of a song you like and ask her if she would like to listen to it - lend her a CD.

Then, as you gradually get to know her and find out her interests, do as the others suggest and get a group to go to the movies (Sit next to her!) or ask her for pizza. You'll get there.

Start off friendly. It's a good basis for a relationship. Good Luck sweetie! :-6

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:35 pm

valerie wrote:

Not quite sure here... are you just agreeing with me?

Yes, I agree.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:42 pm

CheshireCat wrote: :yh_doh Duh! Thanks, Val!

You could try to get a group thing going. I don't know, pick a movie that everyone want to see and get your friends together so you can say to her "Hey a bunch of us are going to the movies, wanna come?" Then you can ease into something more one on one.

I say go with this,better chance of no awkward silent moments,keeps things going.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:13 pm

Stop thinking.

Shake it off and take deep breathes.

Think of something amusing, not for her, for you.

Relax.

Relax.

Relax.

Then just saunter up like you belong there, dont be cocky, but find your confidence.

Before you do it, know that if she rejects you, it aint no thing. Sure you adore her but go into knowing that if she does the world wont cave in and it happens to EVERYONE.

Have >fun

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:14 pm

Nomad wrote: Stop thinking.

Shake it off and take deep breathes.

Think of something amusing, not for her, for you.

Relax.

Relax.

Relax.

Then just saunter up like you belong there, dont be cocky, but find your confidence.

Before you do it, know that if she rejects you, it aint no thing. Sure you adore her but go into knowing that if she does the world wont cave in and it happens to EVERYONE.

Have >fun

I want to be adopted by Nomad

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:19 pm

Uncle Kram wrote: I want to be adopted by Nomad

Cmon buckaroo...lets go buy you that baseball mitt youve been eyeballing. Well play some catch. After that clean your room rake the leaves do your homeworkgetmeapictureofyourteacher bla bla bla

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:26 pm

Pinky wrote: You could always dance past her singing that ole Rod Stewart thing...'If ya think I'm sexy, c'mon baby let me knoooow!'

On second thoughts, don't!;)

You fell for that didnt you ? Cmon you did huh ?

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:26 pm

bulldawgz1003 wrote: Well, Bill Sikes,

Indeed I am in high school.

Over in the Yook, I'm not sure what that corresponds to, but secondary school,

I imagine. Work it out a bit more before you ask her out, if there's time. Talk,

when you can, off & on, for a week, or a fortnight. You may find that you no

longer want to ask her out, or that it would be a waste of time 'cos she would

not go, or that you've a chance. Be straightforward, don't put on too much of

an act. If you are at all familiar with any of her existing friends, you might be

able to use them as a vehicle. If there's someone you know who's "going out"

with one of her friends, perhaps you could, by and by, suggest a foursome.

Crème brÃ»lée · Post by **Crème brÃ»lée** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:28 pm

Nomad wrote: You fell for that didnt you ? Cmon you did huh ?

Only "Fools fall for love":sneaky:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:33 pm

Crème brÃ»lée wrote: Only "Fools fall for love":sneaky:

I cant think of anything clever here.

papaboo951 · Post by **papaboo951** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 5:28 pm

Ask her if she'd like a coke. It's hot, she'll accept the coke (or whatever), find a seat and tell her.

Go for it..........she's waitin'

puppgirl · Post by **puppgirl** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 6:04 pm

i would go for the group thing then slowly get away from the group and then it will be the 2 of you