I need Saving!

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:13 pm

I've just had one of those talks with the ex (mine is very fresh, four months) I'm acting do cool, but I'm in tears!!!)

I'm beautiful!! ( I'm in tears because ,He cheated, and , and left me for a beer swiilising floozie, that I have just been informed is in front of his kids! he wo'nt returun my phone calls about what my father had to pick up from him!! ) I'm not makingng excuses, but I have been drinking!! Just to face thise this man over the phone!! He hit me so hard the I no longer hear out of my left ear! I'm not vain, but look at my pic onprofie!! I'm scared to death of this man, he is only 5'9 but he wieghs 269, and you have I'm so pissed!!

Did I get what I was askng for ??

(Don't be mean, I'm a forum member, I get for what I ask!

Any anywas, Fire away!!!!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:15 pm

You never ask to be abused, if he hit you that hard, he isn't worth the dirt under your feet.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:18 pm

Noone ever deserves to be abused. Chin up, the split was the best thing. You can move on and find somebody who deserves you. :-4

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:14 pm

Diuretic wrote: He hit you?

Take your left hand. Now take your right hand. Now clap them together. Give yourself some warm applause for getting rid of him.

Now take your hands and slap them together and dust them off.

Okay, he's gone out of your life now. Keep him out of your life.

Seconded

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:51 pm

CC--You are a beautiful person inside and out. Having been there, done that, I never did understand why men who cheat go for the not so nice woman. You are now in control of your own life. Don't let him control you with fear. It does get easier and I'm here if you need to talk.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 8:01 pm

As someone who's been there....you've probably got two issues here.

One...you need to get away from the abuser and you stay away. You didn't deserve what he did. (Someone else has said he's a SPHINCTER...and they're right.)

Two...you need to recover from any feelings of guilt which might linger about what happened and you need to find the sure & certain knowledge that you WILL never let it happen again.

Look into your heart and do what you need to do to get over this and begin to love life again. It might help to find an online community of women who've been there, too. Believe me, there are many!

((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))

Lizard Lips · Post by **Lizard Lips** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 9:12 pm

From another someone who's "been there." Leaving was the best thing, though it will take a long time to recover from the emotional wounds.

It literally took me over 4 years to get over the relationship I had with my son's father. He never hit me physically, but the emotional battering was very damaging.

I wish you peace. Give yourself some time to heal. It won't be easy.:-1

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 9:22 pm

CC diuretic said it perfectly your awesome and your beautiful. No one every deserves abuse ever. Big hug for you from me.. :-4 You will do just fine we are here for you when ever you feel you need to talk about it PM any one of us we are always available.. Be proud of your new found strength BRAVO LADY YOUR AWESOME.. :-4 He is an idiot..

[QUOTE]He hit you?

Take your left hand. Now take your right hand. Now clap them together. Give yourself some warm applause for getting rid of him.

Now take your hands and slap them together and dust them off.

Okay, he's gone out of your life now. Keep him out of your life.[/QUOTE]

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 9:38 pm

He couldnt bear the conscience of knowing hes not good enough for you....

You deserve better,

and Quite frankly I find you to be a very beautiful woman...

his loss trust me...

I dont even have to see the slug to know that.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 9:43 pm

(I love you, Liz!)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:35 am

He doesnt exist. Hes dead. Do you hear me ? You take all the time you need to heal yourself and when the time is right a hottie like you will be plucked like a flower and be made to feel like a princess again. You are beautiful and you will be strong again. Hes dead. Your alive.

chocoholic · Post by **chocoholic** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:02 am

CC, you are beautiful and you never deserved being abused by this piece of garbage.

Be thankful that he is out of your life and just put him completely out of your mind.

You will get through this because you are a strong and resourceful lady and the happiness that you so deserve is waiting for you in your wonderful future. BELIEVE THIS.

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:23 am

chonsigirl wrote: if he hit you that hard

There are two words above that are redundant.

"5'9 but he wieghs 269"? That's right off the scale!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 4:35 am

Yup Bill, he's a big old bully!

cars · Post by **cars** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:04 am

SnoozeControl wrote: He's a big gaping ass hole and you deserve lots better than him.

And yes, you're very pretty and any man would be proud to be with you.

Yeah, what Snooze said!!!

:-6

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:38 am

what can say that has not been already said? All this is true.

You are in charge of your own life and who is in it.

You need too move on,Let the Big ***** be with his bar whore,She will be beaten too some day.Abusers very seldom change there ways.And are a bright intelligent woman who deserves a good life,be true too yourself.The longer you stay away,(and i mean NO CONTACT what so ever) the better it gets for you.

He will answer for his actions all in due time.Some one out there will have a sister of someone else they care about hit by this guy and will deal him his fate. I am 5 feet 6 inches and i weigh 190,I have training.He will meet some one he will underestimate,that person will kick the crap out of him,often bullies get that done too them.And now that UFC fighting is all over the tube,he's bound too come across someone.As for you ,you are on too better things.

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:46 am

Don't forget, we need to learn from bad experiences. You have learned that you can and will do better!!!:-4

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:04 am

How're you doing today, C'C?

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:28 am

Oh CC I hope you are safe and what ever this big ass thinks he can do to hurt you again, is so wrong. Get yourself pulled together hunny. Dust off the seat of your pants and walk away far from this jerk. It is good he is gone, you can regain what you have lost, and you can grow to love yourself all over again. Like what every one else said, he has done you a favor.

CC there is loads of us on here who have started over, feel free to reach out for the help. FG has awesome folks with good advise.

Huge Hugs and BTW, don't drown your sorrows to often in the booze, the hangover's are not worth it. :-6

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 8:56 am

http://i.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_con ... andles.swf

CheshCat check this out, our lovely Cars posted this in a thread perhaps it will lighten your load today.

Minks

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:10 am

CSquared --

I just read all the incredibly lovely posts here -- you are surrounded by people who see your beauty inside and out. :-4 That's the kind of company you should keep.

And the kind of company that you deserve.

So read all these answers again and feel GOOD about yourself!

We're always here for you :-6

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:33 am

sending you lots of love and hugs! :yh_hugs

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:51 am

Pinky wrote: I think he did you a favour by hooking up with a beer-swilling floozie, it sounds like they were made for each other.

People can only upset you if you allow them to..I know it's easier said than done at times, but you don't have to let some louty moron have control of your emotions in this way.

You are beautiful CC, and I have no doubt that there are loads of lovely guys out there who would be happy to be with you and look after you properly!

Yup, what Pinky said! :-6

He's obviously a no-good scum-bucket and who needs those? :p

Hopefully the floosie will give him a poke on the nose and a kick in the ghoolies!

Your posts show what a truly lovely personality you have and your pic shows that you're lovely inside and out! You don't need this scuzzbucket! He's a dirtbag who's trying to drag you down to his level.

If he upsets you then don't talk to him or contact him in any way! Change your mobile phone number! You're SO much better than him! Ans SO much better without him!

What with this nutter and your work weirdo, it sounds like you need to go out on the town with some girlfriends and have some fun, with a capital F-U-N!! :-6

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 12:52 pm

Thank you for all the support!! I am crying now, but for a different reason. Everything you said was SO wonderful. This is just so hard for me, I know I will get past this. It's just sometimes overwhelming.

Thank you , Thank you! :-6

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:02 pm

Nomad wrote: He doesnt exist. Hes dead. Do you hear me ? You take all the time you need to heal yourself and when the time is right a hottie like you will be plucked like a flower and be made to feel like a princess again. You are beautiful and you will be strong again. Hes dead. Your alive.

You are wonderful, Nomad!! Thank you. I actually made myself a sign, an afformation and put it on my mirrior. "He's DEAD! You're ALIVE!!" It worked this morning.

Thanks!

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:26 pm

CSquared --

I'm so glad you're in a better frame of mind.

See how we all come out of our little holes

to help a friend in need?

That's how we work here in the Garden :-6

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:38 pm

CheshireCat wrote: You are wonderful, Nomad!! Thank you. I actually made myself a sign, an afformation and put it on my mirrior. "He's DEAD! You're ALIVE!!" It worked this morning.

Thanks!

Nomad's great for that kind of thing. Have you poked around here to see what other stuff has been said on the subject of domestic violence, CC? There are many threads where this is discussed, and I'd bet you'll be surprised how many of us right here on FG have been through exactly what you're going through. Yours truly included. Take advantage of the strength and support that is offered here. There's plenty to go around. While you're looking at that affirmation message that you stuck on your mirror, here's another for you to put up: YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! It's true.

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:43 pm

BabyRider wrote: Nomad's great for that kind of thing. Have you poked around here to see what other stuff has been said on the subject of domestic violence, CC? There are many threads where this is discussed, and I'd bet you'll be surprised how many of us right here on FG have been through exactly what you're going through. Yours truly included. Take advantage of the strength and support that is offered here. There's plenty to go around. While you're looking at that affirmation message that you stuck on your mirror, here's another for you to put up: YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! It's true.

Thanks!! :-6

I'm looking up those threads!

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:47 pm

cherandbuster wrote: CSquared --

I just read all the incredibly lovely posts here -- you are surrounded by people who see your beauty inside and out. :-4 That's the kind of company you should keep.

And the kind of company that you deserve.

So read all these answers again and feel GOOD about yourself!

We're always here for you :-6

I do keep reading these posts over and over. I still feel broken, but I know i'll be ok. All things in time, right?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:55 pm

CheshireCat wrote: I do keep reading these posts over and over. I still feel broken, but I know i'll be ok. All things in time, right?

Oh yes, my friend. :-4

Add me to the list of those who were in an abusive relationship. The important thing is that you are OUT!

Do a search on the following thread title:

"Is It Ever O. K. to Hit Your Girlfriend?"

You'll see lots of info on this subject; a lot of it is from those of us here who've been through the same thing.

It will make you feel good. AND STRONG!! :-4

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:12 pm

You know what the hardest part of this whole thing is? I moved 600 miles away from him, but my brother and sister still live in the same town as he does, my brother still hangs out at the bar with hum. So I get little updates. It drives me nuts! My parents are up there right now, so all of my support is gone for the moment. I have my co-workers, and my roomate, but they just don't know me that well yet, even my roomie has only known me for three months.

I've tried the whole, please don't mention Todd, don't care, don't want to hear about it. But then my brother acts weird and won't call or anything because he's at the bar, with Todd!

I guess that doesn't say a lot for my brother, that is a city of 200,000 people, you think he could find another bar to hang out in.

I's hard to get away from him, even when I'm so far away.

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:21 pm

Pinky wrote: You know what I'd do? When you're bro rings, tell him all the good, positive stuff that you can, knowing full well it will go back to Todd. If he mentions him, bite your tongue and say, 'Oh really? Well, he is a loser, huh?' knowing that if this goes back to the guy, it will bloody well let him know that he can't bother you anymore!

Thanks Pinky!

Jeeze! i feel like such a dramma queen, thanks for hearing my life's story!

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:36 pm

Pinky wrote: Ah, No worries, I do it on the odd occasion too.

I only feel able to because I feel so comfortable with the peeps here. I don't really let out that much in RL!

Same here, I always have the smile on my face. People expect me to be the bubily, sunshine chick, the comic relief. I don't mind it most of the time, but sometimes I need a little relief myself!

If I'm not up and "on" , there's got to be something wron with me. People don't tend to give me space sometimes. "She couldn't possibly have any real problems, she's so happy"

I love the garden. :-6

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 2:53 pm

Pinky wrote: Excactly the same here!!!

We seem very similar, you and I.

Do you also find on the rare occasion that you try and talk to someone, they just don't know how to react? I do. It's like they only get used to the one side of you and that's it. Happy-go-lucky people aren't allowed sad days, apparently.

I took a sick day today, just me and the cat. She could care less if I have a sad day. :p

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:11 pm

[quote=CheshireCat]I've just had one of those talks with the ex (mine is very fresh, four months) I'm acting do cool, but I'm in tears!!!)

I'm beautiful!! ( I'm in tears because ,He cheated, and , and left me for a beer swiilising floozie, that I have just been informed is in front of his kids! he wo'nt returun my phone calls about what my father had to pick up from him!! ) I'm not makingng excuses, but I have been drinking!! Just to face thise

Oh Nomad ! Stop ! You just told her you were going to go easy on her !!!

So that was moonshine right ?

Stop It !!!!!

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:17 pm

Pinky wrote: She did admit she was plastered at the time...it's no worse than one of my pissed posts!:D

It's not a lot worse than one of my *sober* posts!

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:24 pm

Nomad wrote: [quote=CheshireCat]I've just had one of those talks with the ex (mine is very fresh, four months) I'm acting do cool, but I'm in tears!!!)

I'm beautiful!! ( I'm in tears because ,He cheated, and , and left me for a beer swiilising floozie, that I have just been informed is in front of his kids! he wo'nt returun my phone calls about what my father had to pick up from him!! ) I'm not makingng excuses, but I have been drinking!! Just to face thise

Oh Nomad ! Stop ! You just told her you were going to go easy on her !!!

So that was moonshine right ?

Stop It !!!!!

Turd!

Still love ya! :p

CheshireCat · Post by **CheshireCat** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 4:31 pm

Ok, so my mother just called to tell me that she is watching my brother play softball. So I guess Todd's new "womman" is the catcher for his team. I ask Please don't talk about her! I don't care, it hurts me. My mother says to me, i'm neurtral, WTF!! I'm divorcing my family!

Any body want to adopt me? I make great meatloaf and I do laundry!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:19 pm

CheshireCat wrote: I do keep reading these posts over and over. I still feel broken, but I know i'll be ok. All things in time, right?
You are bruised, but not broken. Down, but not out. Life is wonderful when you don't live in fear.:-6

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 5:45 pm

CheshireCat wrote: Ok, so my mother just called to tell me that she is watching my brother play softball. So I guess Todd's new "womman" is the catcher for his team. I ask Please don't talk about her! I don't care, it hurts me. My mother says to me, i'm neurtral, WTF!! I'm divorcing my family!

Any body want to adopt me? I make great meatloaf and I do laundry!

I have a spare room