Curious: Internet Love ?

[busybee]

:-4

I have a friend who fell in love on the internet and, for the meantime seems blissfully happy - even moved to wales to be with their new partner. I'm curious.

Has anyone here found romance on the internet, i'd love to hear your stories. I often wonder how it develops, how you know you're in love with someone you haven't met. When you do meet - is you partner how you expected them to be? (LOL the things i fill my head with - complete and utter nonsence sometimes!)

There are so many dating agency websites and chatrooms out there which are advertised on the telly and in so many magazines.......am a sucker for a good gossip. Some of the websites (i've been nosey) show pictures of single people - and can sort them out according to your geography.

However, surely meeting someone in this way is quite dangerous, especially for the younger generations because you don't "really" know the person. There are personal safety warnings about this.

Am not planning to meet my next partner in this way (whoever he may be), certainly different to the drunken looney tune on a saturday night though....lol

I guess the net is a good way to communicate with people, like i am to you now......... let me know your thoughts...... really get the discussion going!

:-4

Busybee :-6

[minks]

busybee wrote: :-4

I have a friend who fell in love on the internet and, for the meantime seems blissfully happy - even moved to wales to be with their new partner. I'm curious.

Has anyone here found romance on the internet, i'd love to hear your stories. I often wonder how it develops, how you know you're in love with someone you haven't met. When you do meet - is you partner how you expected them to be? (LOL the things i fill my head with - complete and utter nonsence sometimes!)

There are so many dating agency websites and chatrooms out there which are advertised on the telly and in so many magazines.......am a sucker for a good gossip. Some of the websites (i've been nosey) show pictures of single people - and can sort them out according to your geography.

However, surely meeting someone in this way is quite dangerous, especially for the younger generations because you don't "really" know the person. There are personal safety warnings about this.

Am not planning to meet my next partner in this way (whoever he may be), certainly different to the drunken looney tune on a saturday night though....lol

I guess the net is a good way to communicate with people, like i am to you now......... let me know your thoughts...... really get the discussion going!

:-4

Busybee :-6


Oh boy you will get 3 of us responding to this I guarantee you that.

I am a success story of an internet meeting, you have to weed through a fair number of cruddy folks before you find a match. You need patience, yoiu need to be open minded, cautious and smart.

I met my current partner on the net through a local dating site. I took the step to send him a message and we were both very pessimistic, we took it real slow, 2 months just chatting not revealing too much personal stuff (I didn't want him knowing where I lived right off the start due to the fact I have teen daughters) and then we finally arranged to meet and I have to tell you I was immediately star struck by this very gentle and handsome man. Oooooo yeah he impressed me. but again I was cautious still not telling where I lived but told him everything in truth, and we started to go out more, and and it just kind of gelled as we were spending long hours out. Like to 2 in the morning on week nites, then out weekends and finally I invited him to my house to meet my girls after knowing him for about 4 months. We are still together dating and are approaching our 1 year. And I have no regrets with my experience on the internet.

I guess my only cautionary words would be, use common sense and don't expect adonis to be what he is until you meet in person. Don't get your hopes up until you meet in person, and meet in a public place and dont' get to anxious to jump into something until your totally sure of yourself.

Meeting on the internet is no different than meeting in a bar. Anyone can pose as something they aren't you have to invest time into getting to really know this person. Ask questions over and over again and watch for consitant answers. I think if you are truthful with yourself and others then you will be able to see a good person when you meet one.

Is this something your considering??? I am sure a couple of our other members will gladly post their success stories here as well. Each of us is a bit different, and each of us is a success story. If your going to give it a whirl I wish you luck and hey if you want to PM me and talk more about it I will gladly share my thoughts.... also I had a few real horrible dates from internet dating but nothing that put me or my girls at risk just some real duds.

Cheers

[A Karenina]

Ummmmm....I have mixed feelings on it. When I was going through my divorce, I hung out in a chatroom that was for divorcing people. We were a pretty close-knit group, often calling each other and visiting whenever possible.

From that group, I ran into an old friend from high school - kinda odd since she was from Georgia, and I was in Chicago. She "introduced" me to a friend of hers, and we got to talking...and talking...

And we had weird romantic feelings, but didn't make a big deal out of it. I did go meet him in NC, but I was on my way to Atlanta via Pennsylvania (where'd I'd met another friend). And those feelings got stronger, surprisingly enough. He was a fun guy, and we wrestled, of course, both being rednecks. But I didn't sleep with him, and apparently that made him fall in love. Yep, pushed him right over the edge. Men are funny creatures.

Anyway, we went off and on for some time. Personally, as the years went on I thought he was the near perfect guy for me, though I didn't think he was ready for me. (I kinda demand heart, body, and soul...but they can keep their wallet. bwahahahah!)

He broke it off eventually, saying he didn't think he was strong enough for me, that I needed someone who matched me, stood up to me, and took care of me all at the same time. I was really hurt, but appreciated the way he did it. I don't believe a word of what he said when he broke up, but he managed to do it with grace and no hard feelings. One of those "it isn't you, it isn't me" things.

Neither of us were looking for anything. We talked because it was fun. Then we started sharing the deep painful stuff, and found that we helped each other a lot. We had the same problems, hobbies, backgrounds, and values. So we kept at it. He was drop-dead gorgeous, so it was easy for me to fantasize about him. What he saw in me, I can't tell ya. Clueless. But he saw something.

We were very cautious about meeting the first time. We were careful about letting the other person into our lives. But in time we did, when it felt totally natural. We ran background checks on each other, too. $35 to a private detective. Worth it.

I don't know if it would've lasted had I stayed put in one place. My divorce was scary, and I was moving around a lot. I was contracting in Georgia, living part-time in Chicago, and finally moved to Oregon. I never told him where I was, and I can't remember why now. He'd have to track me down, he used to get mad about that. He ended up moving to Texas himself. I wonder from time to time how he's doing, and if he's happy.

He was a wonderful person. I don't regret knowing him. But again, we did things very slowly, very casually, and with no intent at all. We just had a lot of fun.

[busybee]

minks wrote: Oh boy you will get 3 of us responding to this I guarantee you that.

I am a success story of an internet meeting, you have to weed through a fair number of cruddy folks before you find a match. You need patience, yoiu need to be open minded, cautious and smart.

I met my current partner on the net through a local dating site. I took the step to send him a message and we were both very pessimistic, we took it real slow, 2 months just chatting not revealing too much personal stuff (I didn't want him knowing where I lived right off the start due to the fact I have teen daughters) and then we finally arranged to meet and I have to tell you I was immediately star struck by this very gentle and handsome man. Oooooo yeah he impressed me. but again I was cautious still not telling where I lived but told him everything in truth, and we started to go out more, and and it just kind of gelled as we were spending long hours out. Like to 2 in the morning on week nites, then out weekends and finally I invited him to my house to meet my girls after knowing him for about 4 months. We are still together dating and are approaching our 1 year. And I have no regrets with my experience on the internet.

I guess my only cautionary words would be, use common sense and don't expect adonis to be what he is until you meet in person. Don't get your hopes up until you meet in person, and meet in a public place and dont' get to anxious to jump into something until your totally sure of yourself.

Meeting on the internet is no different than meeting in a bar. Anyone can pose as something they aren't you have to invest time into getting to really know this person. Ask questions over and over again and watch for consitant answers. I think if you are truthful with yourself and others then you will be able to see a good person when you meet one.

Is this something your considering??? I am sure a couple of our other members will gladly post their success stories here as well. Each of us is a bit different, and each of us is a success story. If your going to give it a whirl I wish you luck and hey if you want to PM me and talk more about it I will gladly share my thoughts.... also I had a few real horrible dates from internet dating but nothing that put me or my girls at risk just some real duds.

Cheers


You never know i might just give it a whirl in the future, taking on board your so very good advice. Thanks for that and a i am so pleased it seems to have worked out for you. You do hear of so many scare stories that it can put a genuine person off taking this avenue despite the good stories, such as yours and my friends.

[minks]

well I hope you have luck with it, it takes a lot of patience but remember not everyone is a phoney you just have to be wise enough to recognize it and some times it is tough.

I suppose here we would say, "don't be desperate" hehehehe I have heard horror stories of people jumping into relationships off the net because they desperately want a partner .. ack worst thing I think anyone could do.

[Erinna1112]

I don't believe it's possible to fall in love online.

That said, however, I'm an Internet dating success story as well. I met my guy online and we clicked right away. We have common interests, shared values, similar goals. These things are important to any successful relationship, and it is very possible to discover those through written communication.

We met face-to-face for the first time about six weeks after we started talking. We'd exchanged phone calls and TONS of email and instant messaging. We began seeing each other a couple of times a week and did indeed fall in love - but in person. Two and a half blissful years later, we're still together and just as happy.

I agree with the safety issue. Get personal information from the other person - my guy went so far as to scan his drivers' license and send me the photo of the whole thing. He also gave me his work addresses (two jobs) and was willing to give me any other information I wanted. Most addresses are easily verified.

At the very least, get full name, address, and phone number. When you go to meet someone for the first time, make sure it's in a public place. Meet at a restaurant or bar. Never in a hotel room or home for the first time.

And set up a "safe call"... give the other person's phone number and address to a friend, and arrange for that friend to be available for a telephone call shortly after the meeting time. If you don't call the friend, they are to assume you're in trouble and take appropriate action.

Ok, it sounds extreme but better safe than sorry, yes? There have been way too many news stories about people (men and women both) who would be alive and unharmed today if they'd followed these precautions.

[busybee]

A Karenina wrote: Ummmmm....I have mixed feelings on it. When I was going through my divorce, I hung out in a chatroom that was for divorcing people. We were a pretty close-knit group, often calling each other and visiting whenever possible.

From that group, I ran into an old friend from high school - kinda odd since she was from Georgia, and I was in Chicago. She "introduced" me to a friend of hers, and we got to talking...and talking...

And we had weird romantic feelings, but didn't make a big deal out of it. I did go meet him in NC, but I was on my way to Atlanta via Pennsylvania (where'd I'd met another friend). And those feelings got stronger, surprisingly enough. He was a fun guy, and we wrestled, of course, both being rednecks. But I didn't sleep with him, and apparently that made him fall in love. Yep, pushed him right over the edge. Men are funny creatures.

Anyway, we went off and on for some time. Personally, as the years went on I thought he was the near perfect guy for me, though I didn't think he was ready for me. (I kinda demand heart, body, and soul...but they can keep their wallet. bwahahahah!)

He broke it off eventually, saying he didn't think he was strong enough for me, that I needed someone who matched me, stood up to me, and took care of me all at the same time. I was really hurt, but appreciated the way he did it. I don't believe a word of what he said when he broke up, but he managed to do it with grace and no hard feelings. One of those "it isn't you, it isn't me" things.

Neither of us were looking for anything. We talked because it was fun. Then we started sharing the deep painful stuff, and found that we helped each other a lot. We had the same problems, hobbies, backgrounds, and values. So we kept at it. He was drop-dead gorgeous, so it was easy for me to fantasize about him. What he saw in me, I can't tell ya. Clueless. But he saw something.

We were very cautious about meeting the first time. We were careful about letting the other person into our lives. But in time we did, when it felt totally natural. We ran background checks on each other, too. $35 to a private detective. Worth it.

I don't know if it would've lasted had I stayed put in one place. My divorce was scary, and I was moving around a lot. I was contracting in Georgia, living part-time in Chicago, and finally moved to Oregon. I never told him where I was, and I can't remember why now. He'd have to track me down, he used to get mad about that. He ended up moving to Texas himself. I wonder from time to time how he's doing, and if he's happy.

He was a wonderful person. I don't regret knowing him. But again, we did things very slowly, very casually, and with no intent at all. We just had a lot of fun.


A Karenia, Wouldn't it be nice if you two got in touch again, just to catch up - i'm assuming the divorce is well and truly behind you and not such a pain in the neck - i know divorce can be a very stressful and life changing event in anyones life. Am such a romantic at heart - isn't everyone?

Busybee :-6

[minks]

Erinna1112 wrote: I don't believe it's possible to fall in love online.

That said, however, I'm an Internet dating success story as well. I met my guy online and we clicked right away. We have common interests, shared values, similar goals. These things are important to any successful relationship, and it is very possible to discover those through written communication.

We met face-to-face for the first time about six weeks after we started talking. We'd exchanged phone calls and TONS of email and instant messaging. We began seeing each other a couple of times a week and did indeed fall in love - but in person. Two and a half blissful years later, we're still together and just as happy.

I agree with the safety issue. Get personal information from the other person - my guy went so far as to scan his drivers' license and send me the photo of the whole thing. He also gave me his work addresses (two jobs) and was willing to give me any other information I wanted. Most addresses are easily verified.

At the very least, get full name, address, and phone number. When you go to meet someone for the first time, make sure it's in a public place. Meet at a restaurant or bar. Never in a hotel room or home for the first time.

And set up a "safe call"... give the other person's phone number and address to a friend, and arrange for that friend to be available for a telephone call shortly after the meeting time. If you don't call the friend, they are to assume you're in trouble and take appropriate action.

Ok, it sounds extreme but better safe than sorry, yes? There have been way too many news stories about people (men and women both) who would be alive and unharmed today if they'd followed these precautions.


Excellent advise and these days and ages extreme action is not a bad thing.

[busybee]

Erinna1112 wrote: I don't believe it's possible to fall in love online.

That said, however, I'm an Internet dating success story as well. I met my guy online and we clicked right away. We have common interests, shared values, similar goals. These things are important to any successful relationship, and it is very possible to discover those through written communication.

We met face-to-face for the first time about six weeks after we started talking. We'd exchanged phone calls and TONS of email and instant messaging. We began seeing each other a couple of times a week and did indeed fall in love - but in person. Two and a half blissful years later, we're still together and just as happy.

I agree with the safety issue. Get personal information from the other person - my guy went so far as to scan his drivers' license and send me the photo of the whole thing. He also gave me his work addresses (two jobs) and was willing to give me any other information I wanted. Most addresses are easily verified.

At the very least, get full name, address, and phone number. When you go to meet someone for the first time, make sure it's in a public place. Meet at a restaurant or bar. Never in a hotel room or home for the first time.

And set up a "safe call"... give the other person's phone number and address to a friend, and arrange for that friend to be available for a telephone call shortly after the meeting time. If you don't call the friend, they are to assume you're in trouble and take appropriate action.

Ok, it sounds extreme but better safe than sorry, yes? There have been way too many news stories about people (men and women both) who would be alive and unharmed today if they'd followed these precautions.


:-4 So then.......Are we inititially attracted by the unknown/similar interests/looks? hmmmm i wonder

Busybee :-6

[minks]

busybee wrote: :-4 So then.......Are we inititially attracted by the unknown/similar interests/looks? hmmmm i wonder

Busybee :-6


Ah what attracts one may not attract another. So much depends on where you are in your life as well. If your coming out of a lousy past relationship your sense of attraction can be really skewed. Just finding some one who shows interest in you can be attraction. So you really can't say. I bet though 9.5 out of 10 times physical is our initial attraction, I mean come one we are human after all hehehehehe and lets be honest, if you saw person was a troll how far are you willing to delve to find their inner goodness? Be realistic as you can be.

[BabyRider]

Erinna1112 wrote:

Ok, it sounds extreme but better safe than sorry, yes? There have been way too many news stories about people (men and women both) who would be alive and unharmed today if they'd followed these precautions.
There is no such thing as "too safe". You can't be called paranoid, you can't be called a worrier. Your own safety is the single most important thing. There are a few success stories here, and I think they are the exception, rather than the rule.

If you are trying this method to meet someone, I would say that being honest is very important. If you project an image of what you think the other person wants and are not that way, it can't work. Keep in mind that on the net you can be whatever you want to be. Male, female, young, old, anything. You can never really know who you are talking to. So project who you really are, (hoping you'll get the same in return), but be skeptical, because you never know what the other persons intentions are. Be VERY careful, and take all the wonderful advice here to keep yourself safe.

[busybee]

BabyRider wrote: There is no such thing as "too safe". You can't be called paranoid, you can't be called a worrier. Your own safety is the single most important thing. There are a few success stories here, and I think they are the exception, rather than the rule.

If you are trying this method to meet someone, I would say that being honest is very important. If you project an image of what you think the other person wants and are not that way, it can't work. Keep in mind that on the net you can be whatever you want to be. Male, female, young, old, anything. You can never really know who you are talking to. So project who you really are, (hoping you'll get the same in return), but be skeptical, because you never know what the other persons intentions are. Be VERY careful, and take all the wonderful advice here to keep yourself safe.


Thanks for your input BabyRider. It's an interesting topic, so many people do it regardless of the obvious risks and you're right on the internet......you can be who you want to be - and very easy for vulnerable people to be decieved. I haven't used the internet to meet someone......but i haven't ruled it out either!

I am happy about the success stories, only wish there was something that could be done to make sure the deceivers didn't do what they do. That way everyone would be happy......... after all we all deserve it, happiness and love.

Busybee :-6

[busybee]

3kidzforme wrote: Thus far, I am also a successful internet love story.

We met in a MSN Chat Room in Oct 2000. Met in person in Dec 2000. He broke up because he found someone else (she had more money than I did ~ I was a going-through-a-divorce mom of 2). In Jan 2001, we started talking again. Feb 2001 he asked me & the kids back into his life the day before I was to go on a first date w/ someone I met through yahoo personals. He met the kids in March 2001 ~ my daughter had just turned 3 and my son was 1 1/2. They hit it off ~ Rebecca wouldn't let mommy do anything for her. He moved to my town in April 2001. Unexpectedly got pregnant May 2001. Started sleeping over at his place soon after. Moved in together in Jan 2002 ~ 3 weeks before our son was born. Here we are today, just celebrated our 4 yr anniversary (although engaged at 8 months, have yet to get married).

I would say for me it was easier to "fall in love" online because there is no physical interaction. We would talk on the phone for hours a day (first phone bill was over $400). Yes, we had exchanged pics. We connected on so many levels, able to communicate freely & have intelligent conversation. I will say there were some things that I didn't expect when we first met ~ he had told me he was balding (he was 28 and balding since 20), but I didn't expect him to be completely bald on top. At the same time, he thought I wasn't as broad shouldered as my pic showed.

He stuck it out through my divorce anticipating it would take years before it was said and done ~ in fact from the time I filed it was only 6 months. He's been a great father figure for my first 2 children. We compliment each other very well.


That's such a lovely story Mary. Even although both your expectations of each other (his balding, your shoulders) were slightly different when you met it didn't alter the progress of your relationship. You took a chance and made a go of it and it worked out for you. Great stuff!

Busybee :-6

[Peg]

I used to chat in a local chatroom (it no longer exists ) We used to get together different places and have lunch, picnics, go drinking, etc. Anyways, out of that chatroom came at least 4 marriages that I can think of. It was fun to talk to the people in the chatroom, get an idea of what you pictured them as looking like, and then actually meeting them. A lot of us still stay in touch. I think the net cannot be any scarier than meeting some stranger in a bar, etc.

[LottomagicZ4941]

I meet my wife online. I do think it is easier for people to lie online so procede with caushion.

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941

[A Karenina]

busybee wrote: A Karenia, Wouldn't it be nice if you two got in touch again, just to catch up - i'm assuming the divorce is well and truly behind you and not such a pain in the neck - i know divorce can be a very stressful and life changing event in anyones life. Am such a romantic at heart - isn't everyone?



Busybee :-6
You are a romantic at heart, Busybee. It made me smile.



The divorce is long over, but the after-effects are permanent, I think. Some of them anyway. I'm not as trusting as I once was, though I guess that's a good thing.



If we got in touch again...sweet thought. Not possible though...I'm afraid I'd never forgive him.



But that's ok. I'll either find someone who fits me, or I won't. I'm still going to be happy and live a fulfilling life...and surely that's a happy ending, too?

[BabyRider]

A Karenina wrote: I'll either find someone who fits me, or I won't. I'm still going to be happy and live a fulfilling life...and surely that's a happy ending, too.
You'll notice, AK, that I deleted the question mark from this quote. Why? Because it's not a question. I wish more women (especially a few in this very forum) would realize that they DO NOT need a man to make them whole. My mom drilled this into my head for many MANY years. It got annoying until I realized how important a truth it is. For a woman to depend solely on a man for fulfillment, validation, support, or anything is self-defeating.

[LottomagicZ4941]

of the dating sites I think Eharmony is one of the best because they try and find you compatable matches.

However it is not one of the cheaper sites.

Join and don't pay up right a way and they give you a cheaper deal.

I was impatient and found my wife on another site.

Had I waited on Eharmony I may have found a more harmonious match.

Wife still a tad upset that I was on so many dating sites.

But what happened is I ran into a gal I was seeing with another guy and she told me she wanted to see other people. So I drank more then usual and a online dating advert poped up and I registred. But there was no one from colorado on that site.

Perhpas I should have wrote a book about my E-dating adventures called cyber love? One gal's friend had cuffs and shackels in his trunk. That was a bit scarry. He was a prision guard but still wearded me out.

Also Casper WY is alot further from Colorado then it looks on the internet:) That is the furthest out I actually ventured for a date.

My wife was the 10th gal that I dated from online. And we did not chat at all online. We just decided to meet in real life in a public place. My profile was nonsmoker919 not totally sure if that is the right number. One gal lied about being a non smoker. So that was a one date event!!!

Lotto

http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/ ... elcome-344

MagicZ4941A

PS on needing someone to make you whole. Ja Ja SP? Gabore SP off:( once said no man is complete untill he is married and then he is finished.

[busybee]

A Karenina wrote: You are a romantic at heart, Busybee. It made me smile.



The divorce is long over, but the after-effects are permanent, I think. Some of them anyway. I'm not as trusting as I once was, though I guess that's a good thing.



If we got in touch again...sweet thought. Not possible though...I'm afraid I'd never forgive him.



But that's ok. I'll either find someone who fits me, or I won't. I'm still going to be happy and live a fulfilling life...and surely that's a happy ending, too?


Definately, i agree. I'm single and to be honest don't think i have room in my life for anyone else.......at least till after the exams! My family do keep telling me though "There's someone out there, for everybody". So, good luck and take care. :-4

[busybee]

BabyRider wrote: You'll notice, AK, that I deleted the question mark from this quote. Why? Because it's not a question. I wish more women (especially a few in this very forum) would realize that they DO NOT need a man to make them whole. My mom drilled this into my head for many MANY years. It got annoying until I realized how important a truth it is. For a woman to depend solely on a man for fulfillment, validation, support, or anything is self-defeating.


I have no idea who you are referring to Babyrider, and your mom was absolutely correct, let's face it we're not living in the 1950's. I've never depended on a man, i find singledom easier to live with at the present time and i have never considered myself anything less than a whole person - because i haven't got a fella doesn't make me half a human.

[Paula]

i guess it happens, words can really manipulate some people? kindness is one thing, you can tell when some-one is up to no good. i just figure, oh really....i am not easily convinced of anything...i can feel a butt kisser from the start, i can't help you....NO... :yh_bye

[A Karenina]

busybee wrote: Definately, i agree. I'm single and to be honest don't think i have room in my life for anyone else.......at least till after the exams! My family do keep telling me though "There's someone out there, for everybody". So, good luck and take care. :-4
I believe there's someone for everyone, too. And good luck back atcha.

[amale]

i am trying to find love....a female who loves me

[busybee]

You will one day amale, if there's anything to be learned from this discussion - If you are using the internet to meet people - Don't rush into anything - people can hid their true identity easily if they want to.

Good luck,

Busybee :-6

[abbey]

amale wrote: i am trying to find love....a female who loves me
I'm sure one day you'll find true love, someone who loves you for you.

I met my partner on the internet & 3 years down the line we're still together, i can't truly say that he's the love of my life but we're happy.

Iwish you luck in your search x

[ilona17]

well to be onist with you speaking from a personal point of view peole on the internet are rarely what they are like in real life. For most people going on the internet is like an esapism a chance to be different to the person you really are. But they say you find love in the strangest places. i tell you one thing theirs a couple of weird people on the internet so be carefull.

[amale]

ilona thank you for your suggestion