Contentment

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:51 am

There it is -- one of the most underrated and undervalued words in our language.

Contentment.

Why is it so hard to achieve this state of mind?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:05 am

Do we really want to be truly content? I'm not so sure. To me, content implies a type of passivity. I'd love to be wrong. I'm happiest when I'm busy, faced with a challenge.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:07 am

Hamster wrote: Hi Cher!! :-6

I think it is usually a case of we are looking to others to make us content-instead of being content wih ourselves and then enjoy someone else's company...

What do you think? This has been the reason for my discontent in the past...

Hello my lovely Hamster :-6

I am a content person. I celebrate all that is my life. And I do it on a regular basis.

I think part of the problem is that people, on a scale of 1-10, want to be at 9 or 10 ALL of the time. They want to be in love and in like with their partner ALL of the time. They want to like their job ALL of the time. I think it's about managing your expectations.

I tell my husband that I am happily married because I don't expect him to be the BEST husband all of the time. He will say to me, "Oh, that's great. You're only happy because you've got such low expectations of me." And I tell him, "That's NOT true! I just don't have *the highest* expectations of you ALL of the time. That way, I get disappointed LESS often."

Does that make sense? It's kind of my life philosophy. And it's truly led me to be a content human being. :-6

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:13 am

SnoozeControl wrote: Hmmm, maybe I do have low expectations. e

Snoozie

Maybe just lowER expectations. . . which I think is the key to contentment.

Acc

Don't confuse 'settling' with being content. If being challenged is part of what makes you tick, then *by all means* keep it in your life. It's a great thing!

And be content that you're able to find gratification from being challenged.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:23 am

Hamster wrote: Isn't it just learning to be content with what you have whilst you pursue what you want?

I love a challenge too Acc....If you aren't striving for/towards something what is point of it all?

Little Furry Creature

--

That was beautifully stated. :-6

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:28 am

I'm happy. Setbacks that occur outside of my control don't bother me much. I s'pose that fits the definition of 'content' right?

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 5:23 am

For me I find as I get older I find it easier to accept many things the way they are and stay fairly emotionally even..This equals contentment. I much prefer this to the wild ups and downs I experienced in my younger years..

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 6:01 am

zinkyusa wrote: I much prefer this to the wild ups and downs I experienced in my younger years..

I agree, Zinkster

I used to mistake those ups and downs for passion :guitarist

But they're too draining to live with :-6

Ocnbrz · Post by **Ocnbrz** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:16 am

I suppose for some of us contentment can be hard to grasp when we are bombarded with media shows and advertisements of all kinds suggesting that we need to be more wealthy, more beautiful, look younger, have more material possessions etc... I think our values play a part in all this. I may not measure up in their eyes, but then I am not looking at myself through their eyes. I look through my own. I am content not because I have settled for anything but because I have the challenges and people that I need to make me feel whole in my life. If something makes me unhappy I change it ... or change my attitude about it. We all have days or times in our lives that make us go :-5 that is normal, for me at least. *L* I am happy and content because I choose to be. It works for me at least. :guitarist :-6

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:22 am

Ocnbrz wrote: I If something makes me unhappy I change it ... or change my attitude about it. We all have days or times in our lives that make us go :-5 that is normal, for me at least. *L* I am happy and content because I choose to be. It works for me at least. :guitarist :-6

Hiya Mr. Breezy (my nickname for you) :-6

I especially like the points you made that I have highlighted. Nice post.

Ocnbrz · Post by **Ocnbrz** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:29 am

Thanks Cher! :-6

woppy71 · Post by **woppy71** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:09 am

I don't think I am content. I am content with Carrie-Anne and Archie, but not with myself. There always seems to be something that I am Striving for or something that I wan't. I think its a curse sometimes, one of my bad character flaws, possibly:(

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:35 am

woppy71 wrote: I don't think I am content. I am content with Carrie-Anne and Archie, but not with myself. There always seems to be something that I am Striving for or something that I wan't. I think its a curse sometimes, one of my bad character flaws, possibly:(

Wopster :-6

I think some people 'grow into' contentment

You are a younger person than me

And it took me a while to get to this place

Self-acceptance can be a difficult thing

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:41 am

I couldn't agree with you more Cher, when i was younger i had so many insecurities, it's only now that i'm older (30's) i've found contenment.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:00 am

SuzyB wrote: I couldn't agree with you more Cher, when i was younger i had so many insecurities, it's only now that i'm older (30's) i've found contenment.

Right on Susie

I call it growing older *and* wiser :-6

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:21 am

Hamster wrote: Hi Cher!! :-6

I think it is usually a case of we are looking to others to make us content-instead of being content wih ourselves and then enjoy someone else's company...

What do you think? This has been the reason for my discontent in the past...

I had a friend back in the 80's who I think was like this. She seemed totally not content to do things on her own. It seems as if she was only happy when she was interacting or doing things with others...it was if she was not happy with her own company. If there was a restaurant she wanted to try, or a movie she really wanted to see, she would not go at all if she could not find someone to go with. I feel she missed out on alot of experiences, and the pleasure of her own company.

Cher, I am not sure if this is where you were going with the question, but here is where I want to go with my answer.

I feel that if you cannot be content on your own, then it is more difficult to be content with others.

Of course, I am speaking as one of the most anti-social people I know. You all know I have mentioned may times I have often preferred the pleasure of my own company that the company of others . Not always the best of situations for me, as I have found that it has always been hard for me to comfortably interact with others.

But am I content with my life? yes, I think so. Would I change things, yes I would. In a heartbeat.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:26 am

Contentment-the unattainable goal. You do not reach for it as much as you grow older, knowing you can never have it completely. I know I will never have mine.

I know I will not find it in my lifetime, but I want it nonetheless.

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:42 am

Chonsi and Hamster, I think I have to agree with you. To my way of thinking, contentment is not an absolute. Alot depends on circumstances, and where you are in your life. What you were content with 5 years ago..or even just a year ago...does not mean you would be content under the same circumstances today..or tomorrow or next week.

There are alot of variables there.

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:44 am

if i make expectations of other people, places or things i lessen my chances of being content..

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:58 am

zinkyusa wrote: if i make expectations of other people, places or things i lessen my chances of being content

Exactly, Zinkster

This brings me back to my "lowered expectation" theory. And by that, I mean lowering my expectations of *others*. :-6

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:47 am

I have lowered my goals, as far as what I can expect from life's fulfillment.

My personal goals of what I want to do have increased, and are met.

But they are nothing, if life is not there to make you smile once in awhile. Are they dependant on another-of course. I don't ask for much, just an itty bitty thing. But I know I will never have it. So I am not content, until I have it.

All I want is this: I want my husband to call me by my name, and then I will know he remembers me. And he cannot do this. To be a nonentity every day is very difficult, and not something to be content with, I am worth more than that. I am worth more then 'nuttin. I grasp at a smile once a day, and that is a good thing to have, but a name is better. I want to hear my name.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:49 am

I love you, Chonsi

And I understand.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:15 pm

chonsigirl wrote: I have lowered my goals, as far as what I can expect from life's fulfillment.

My personal goals of what I want to do have increased, and are met.

But they are nothing, if life is not there to make you smile once in awhile. Are they dependant on another-of course. I don't ask for much, just an itty bitty thing. But I know I will never have it. So I am not content, until I have it.

All I want is this: I want my husband to call me by my name, and then I will know he remembers me. And he cannot do this. To be a nonentity every day is very difficult, and not something to be content with, I am worth more than that. I am worth more then 'nuttin. I grasp at a smile once a day, and that is a good thing to have, but a name is better. I want to hear my name.That tears my heart. :yh_flower :yh_flower :yh_flower :yh_flower

jbbarker1947 · Post by **jbbarker1947** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:47 pm

Accountable wrote: Do we really want to be truly content? I'm not so sure. To me, content implies a type of passivity. I'd love to be wrong. I'm happiest when I'm busy, faced with a challenge.

I agree. Complacent comes to mind. I need a target or goal.

Adam Zapple · Post by **Adam Zapple** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 10:11 pm

(I haven't read all the responses.) Contentment is a subjective idea. I honestly believe contentment can be easily achieved but too often we let others define that state for us. You know, "the grass is always greener", "keep up with the Joneses". Ad campaigns, media, the popular culture all led us to believe that in order to be content one must achieve success and prosperity as it is defined by society. Those that are poor or not financially secure are viewed as either victims or sloths so how can they be content? When we quit letting others define the terms for us, it is much easier to actually reach a state of contentment.

weber · Post by **weber** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:01 am

Contentment is when you spill your coffee on the floor and quickly retrieve the cup and sit down with what is left and read the paper. I do that often so I had better be content:guitarist

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:44 am

jbbarker1947 wrote: I agree. Complacent comes to mind. I need a target or goal.Good to see ya. You're not here enough.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:51 am

SnoozeControl wrote: That works for me.

You gotta love Snoozie

You just gotta :-4