Monkey

General humor & jokes. Share funny photos and jokes. Must be "R" rated or below.
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abbey
Posts: 15069
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:00 pm

Monkey

Post by abbey »

I just popped in to say Hey,

Pleased you two havent called it a day,

Both as cheeky as ****

I wish you both luck,

It's nice to see you both yaaaaaaaay :-4
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Dear Abbey,

Thank you for all your support,

For me and my crazy cohort,

Somedays I don't know,

Where we will go,

I'm such a finicky sort.

:-4
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I think that Monkey is ill,

Or he is slumbering still,

If I sent a kiss,

Would that be remiss?

His bill I would happily fill.

:-4
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey went down to the docks,

I think she was searching for rocks,

She said "are you NUTS?

You sure are such a putz?

It's not rocks I seek, but c^&*s!!

(oooOOOOooo Samanta is getting racy!!)
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Ol monkey, his head is a scratchin'

Seems no wimmin' he's catchin'

Is it B.O.

That makes 'em all go

Or just a case of 'Miss'- matchin'
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.......... abbey has paid a visit

Time to check in izzit?

So happy am I

My seat needs to dry :eek:

Her visit has caused me to pizzit :yh_rotfl
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4Rum just made me giggle,

I'll sit in his lap and wiggle,

I just love his mind,

And his cute wee behind,

Let's see what YOU have to jiggle!!

:-4
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

When Monkey last checked his mail

He found orders he'd purchased on sale

The real 'knee slapper'

All in brown wrapper

But batteries would cost him retail
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I see that you got your gift,

I sure hope it gives you a lift,

Go try it out,

Then give me a shout,

Next time, I will not shoplift.

:-3
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abbey
Posts: 15069
Joined: Tue Nov 16, 2004 1:00 pm

Monkey

Post by abbey »

Oh monkey i think thou dost lie,

To use such things, oh why?

You're so well endowed

You'd stand out in a crowd,

It makes me swoon to imagine.....Oh my!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

abbey wrote: Oh monkey i think thou dost lie,

To use such things, oh why?

You're so well endowed

You'd stand out in a crowd,

It makes me swoon to imagine.....Oh my!


My new 'blow up' toy was loaded

So I puffed till 'er boobs became bloated

I didn't spy

The words PSI

With one final puff she exploded :eek:

...help!!! my pee pee pump is broken... call the ERECT-trician!!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Sorry to hear of the 'splosion,

Your mojo could suffer erosion, :wah:

Though Sammies not sad,

She's rather quite glad,

Your weenie's now safe from corrosion. :cool:

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Sorry to hear of the 'splosion,

Your mojo could suffer erosion, :wah:

Though Sammies not sad,

She's rather quite glad,

Your weenie's now safe from corrosion. :cool:


I couldn't abide with the rust

We'll use some oil if we must

I'm no fool

I tend my tool

You do as well I trust? :yh_drool
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

You ask if my tool I do tend?

Of course I do -- it's my friend,

Of oil's no need,

On two AA's 'twill feed,

This tool, I do recommend!!

:-6

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

My 4rum went to a convention,

It was about insect prevention,

He'll learn about drugs,

To kill nasty bugs,

I hope he has good comprehension!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey is mad at the Doc,

It seems he has a wee c#$%,

She like 'em big,

NOT just a twig,

She's shocked the Doc's c#$% is a schlock!!

Attached files
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey is mad at the Doc,

It seems he has a wee c#$%,

She like 'em big,

NOT just a twig,

She's shocked the Doc's c#$% is a schlock!!


I'm happy for the dismissal of lies

And the falsehoods surrounding ladies and size

My only caution

In p*ck*r watchin'

Don't let appetite outlook your eyes
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

A cute little monkey named Smucker

Took up with a hot lady trucker

While watching her rear

She let him shift gears

Together they backed up that ................
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

...................sucker:wah:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

4rum wrote: ...................sucker:wah:


That exactly what I thought!!!
4rum
Posts: 506
Joined: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:27 am

Monkey

Post by 4rum »

Poor Monkey woke up in a pickle

His willy had started to tickle

By rubbing slow

The itch wouldn't go

But quick certainly did the trickle :eek:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

A trickle and not a big geyser?

Now that would really surprise her!!

Miss Monkey would help,

Yet give her a yelp,

And no one would be the wiser!

:rolleyes:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey is feelin' all punky,

She went and crossed paths with a skunky,

He was big and fat,

She thought twas a cat,

And now she's smellin' all funky!!

:wah:
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The oder was really hellacious,

She no longer feels so audacious,

She did take a bath,

But much to her wrath,

That smell is rather vexacious!!!

Attached files
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weber
Posts: 1821
Joined: Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:52 pm

Monkey

Post by weber »

There's nothing more horrid

That a monkey so florid

Runnin' around

Odors abound

An affair really quite sordid.:p

miriam:yh_flower



Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.

.................Charles Mingus



http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Well Weber welcome aboard,

I was startin' to feel ignored,

There's Monkeys around,

There's fun to be found,

Let's get all the antics restored!



:-6
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey must be on vacation,

I don't know this ones destination,

I'll send him a kiss,

His antics I miss,

I hope he works out his frustration!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey is playing alone,

She's not one to sit my the phone,

She's out on the prowl,

She's ready to howl,

Someone please toss her a bone!

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Monkey has just been arrested,

Because of some dame he requested,

That they go 'round the world,

His zipper unfurled

But with a cops badge she was crested!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Life behind bars is a drag,

Theres no one around he can shag,

Who'll post his bail?

Will everyone fail?

Should Monkey now wave a white flag??
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Now Monkey did get a good lawyer,

Goes by the last name of Goyer,

Got dirt on that cop,

The chargers she'd drop,

Or Goyer the lawyer'd destroy her!!

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Look what I found in my file,

I hadn't seen them in a while,

That was SOME night,

You were a delight,

That memory sure gives me a smile.

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The Monkeys are hard to contain,

They're drinking beer and champagne,

They've started a riot,

Down at the Hyatt,

With Shane, Jane and DuWayne!!

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The Hyatt's been totally trashed,

Glasses and bottle were smashed,

The SWAT team was called,

Even THEY were appalled,

Out the back door Monkeys dashed.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The Monkeys are all still in hiding,

The ruckus is finally subsiding,

I know they'll return,

Those apes never learn,

Where to strike next they're deciding.



4rum ~~ 4rum~~ wherefore art thou 4rum!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

The monkies have gone underground,

A place where they cannot be found,

But where did they go?

Does anyone know?

The answer will surely astound!!

(Here's a pic. .. . anyone know this place??)

Attached files
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Will no one wager a guess?

I am shocked at your lack of finesse!!

I'll give you a clue,

It's not Timbucktu,

Try a Kaymakli address. . . .



Winner gets a . . . . . wait . . . it's a surprise!!
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

Miss Monkey's new beaus' name is Dave,

He was a delightful young knave,

Kaymakli they left,

They were feeling bereft,

Liquor and sex they did crave.
Samantha
Posts: 705
Joined: Tue Mar 28, 2006 11:55 am

Monkey

Post by Samantha »

I think the Monkies are done,

Since 4rum has gone it's no fun,

I wish he'd come back,

But I don't have the knack,

There's no one else like him, not one!! :-1
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