When you know it's wrong, but to correct the problem it will be hurting a very nice person(s) involved should you still take action? My next door neighbor is frail, "sickly", & has limited mobility/reflexes. At 87 he has to use a "walker" for stability, and walks very,very slowly with it. At times, even with the walker, he still falls backwards and has to lean on something, or falls down. Yet, this man & his wife still get into his car and "he drives". His Son (does not live with them) says he does not want to have his Father's license taken away, as he does not want to take his Parents freedom and independance away. I can understand that sentiment. But I see this man every day who parks his car in a reserved spot right next to mine, sometimes fall back and have to lean against my car to gain stability before/when trying to get into his. He & his wife go out almost every day! I know it's wrong for this "very nice man" to drive, but I really don't want to be the one to blow the whistle on him to DMV! And take away their independance! :wah:
But if I do nothing, it's only a matter of time where something bad eventually "will" happen!
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Cars :driving:
When you know it's wrong!
When you know it's wrong!
You have talked to the son about this, then?
You asked what *I* would do... unfortunately, I would have to call.
I think you can do it anonymously. And then the DMV will probably call him
in for a test.
It's a very tough, very sad situation. But think of how you would feel if
you didn't call and something happened!
If you have already talked to the son about it, be aware though that fingers
may be pointed.
Other than that, are there any other neighbors who have seen this?
Maybe one of them would be willing to call... but then that means you'd
have to talk with them about it, too.
Sorry, Cars. What an awful position to be in.
You asked what *I* would do... unfortunately, I would have to call.
I think you can do it anonymously. And then the DMV will probably call him
in for a test.
It's a very tough, very sad situation. But think of how you would feel if
you didn't call and something happened!
If you have already talked to the son about it, be aware though that fingers
may be pointed.
Other than that, are there any other neighbors who have seen this?
Maybe one of them would be willing to call... but then that means you'd
have to talk with them about it, too.
Sorry, Cars. What an awful position to be in.
When you know it's wrong!
Maybe you could call the local police to follow him one day and see how his driving is. If they see he is committing errors, they could pull him over to give him a ticket, send him home and be the ones to notify the DMV. That would take you off the hook. 
When you know it's wrong!
That's a horrible position to be in. If you don't call, can you live with yourself if he kills somebody or himself? While I can understand the son not wanting them to lose their freedom, I cannot understand how he would let the man risk lives including his own.
When you know it's wrong!
The wife can't drive either? Or is he from the old school that only a gentleman drives a lady and not the other way around?
I would not want to be in your position. Pls let us know what happens.
:driving:
I would not want to be in your position. Pls let us know what happens.
:driving:
When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
Mae West
Mae West
When you know it's wrong!
All good advice for you there Cars, I wonder if his frailty is only a physical motion thing and his driving is ok. I think the good idea is call the police and have them make that assessment. Is there any kind of mandatory re-testing past a certain age where you live? I sure wish there was here, like you hit 70 and you have to be tested every year from there on in to ensure you are still able to drive safely. I grew up with an ancient uncle who to date still drives and back 30 years ago was the worst driver I knew.
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
• Mae West
• Mae West
When you know it's wrong!
CARS, :driving:
I understand your anguish we deal with this each and everyday with ALZHEIMER'S patients. Remember driving is not a RIGHT it's a PRIVILEDGE.
At 87 this man should have already been called it to take a behind wheel test several times. Here is California it mandatory after 70 to take the behind the wheel right along with the written test every year. Many Physicians have their patients driving PRIVILEDGES REVOKED AS WELL..
Someone has to make the call before innocent people get killed. His son should do this, but if not you can call Police and the DMV without giving your name.
I know his son views it as taking their independence away in a fashion he is right. I know their are many agencies that provide rides for people that don't drive. Neighbors helping neighbors take them shopping. Meals on Wheels can bring two meals a day.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THIS FRAIL MAN CAN'T HIT THE BREAK HARD ENOUGH WHEN A CHILD DARTS OUT IN THE STREET. I SEE THIS AS AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN.
I understand your anguish we deal with this each and everyday with ALZHEIMER'S patients. Remember driving is not a RIGHT it's a PRIVILEDGE.
At 87 this man should have already been called it to take a behind wheel test several times. Here is California it mandatory after 70 to take the behind the wheel right along with the written test every year. Many Physicians have their patients driving PRIVILEDGES REVOKED AS WELL..
Someone has to make the call before innocent people get killed. His son should do this, but if not you can call Police and the DMV without giving your name.
I know his son views it as taking their independence away in a fashion he is right. I know their are many agencies that provide rides for people that don't drive. Neighbors helping neighbors take them shopping. Meals on Wheels can bring two meals a day.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN THIS FRAIL MAN CAN'T HIT THE BREAK HARD ENOUGH WHEN A CHILD DARTS OUT IN THE STREET. I SEE THIS AS AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN.
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
When you know it's wrong!
Try pointing out to the son that should he hit something the odds are any whiplash will do a lot more harm to someone that frail than to someone younger. He might not worry about the injury his father might cause to someone else if say a child ran out in front of him but maybe the prospect of his father being rendered incapable of walking or needing full time nursing as a result of injury might do the trick.
I can relate to this, my mother is 85 and still wants to drive, fortunately hasn't tried on her own taking taxis instead. I have two elder brothers, left to my decision i would take the keys off her and scrap the car (it's 21 years old and worthless) My idiot brother not only taxed it for her he took her out in it and let her drive. She has had two minor strokes and can't walk unaided. Independence is one thing crass stupidity another.
I can relate to this, my mother is 85 and still wants to drive, fortunately hasn't tried on her own taking taxis instead. I have two elder brothers, left to my decision i would take the keys off her and scrap the car (it's 21 years old and worthless) My idiot brother not only taxed it for her he took her out in it and let her drive. She has had two minor strokes and can't walk unaided. Independence is one thing crass stupidity another.
When you know it's wrong!
Just my opinion but, I think the son is probably less concerned about taking away the fathers freedom than he is about him having to care for them even more if the father can't go out on his own.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
Mae West
Mae West
When you know it's wrong!
911 wrote: Just my opinion but, I think the son is probably less concerned about taking away the fathers freedom than he is about him having to care for them even more if the father can't go out on his own.
Oiy 911 i think you hit the nail on the head. Pity when likely the elder can get decent rates on a taxi.
My ex MIL never drove a day in her life, her husband did. When he passed away 2 years ago, that woman just adopted the bus system and taxi service and never burdens her sons for transportation. She is pushing 75
Oiy 911 i think you hit the nail on the head. Pity when likely the elder can get decent rates on a taxi.
My ex MIL never drove a day in her life, her husband did. When he passed away 2 years ago, that woman just adopted the bus system and taxi service and never burdens her sons for transportation. She is pushing 75
�You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
• Mae West
• Mae West
When you know it's wrong!
first, does anyone recall the elderly man who plowed into the outdoor shopping market in California, killing a number of people? ...aside from that one example...this is a huge problem in florida, which has such a large population of elderly/retired. it is my experience the elderly who are impaired because they can't see well, can't hear well, reflexes are shot, mind may be a little drifty, heads barely reach the dash,on medications and paying absolutely no attention to their surroundings...are more dangerous than teenagers whacked-out on testosterone. when i taught my son to drive down here i stressed watching the elderly driver very carefully and drive defensively, expect the unexpected. some have no clue what the rear-view mirrors are for, and when they wreak havoc as they drive down the fast lane at 25 mph they are oblivious to the carnage in their wake. and , when i have to speak to one of them they are more HOSTILE than drug-runners on 95. how DARE i question their ability? that 7 car pileup wasn't their fault! it wasn't their fault they drove up on the sidewalk and killed 3 people, or drove right through the deli. i sure hope i will know when it's time to get off the road. but since most don't we need some checks and balances.my city has council on aging, will take the elderly anywhere they want to go for .50. there was a time i had to take my Mother's keys, it was painful. but necessary. we owe a duty to the public at large. Cars, if it was a gas leak, you'd report it. the emotional fallout for the son is not your problem.
When you know it's wrong!
LADYCOP,
It was because of that man who drove through a farmers market in LA that the laws her became tighter. It was found that many senior don't even renew their registration on their cars. They just forget to do it and keep on driving without a licence, registration or up to date insurance.
IT IS TOUGH TO TAKE THEIR CARS, AND KEYS AWAY, BUT THE ALTERNATIVE IS OFTEN DEADLY.. :driving:
It was because of that man who drove through a farmers market in LA that the laws her became tighter. It was found that many senior don't even renew their registration on their cars. They just forget to do it and keep on driving without a licence, registration or up to date insurance.
IT IS TOUGH TO TAKE THEIR CARS, AND KEYS AWAY, BUT THE ALTERNATIVE IS OFTEN DEADLY.. :driving:
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
When you know it's wrong!
Thanks friends for your sound advise, I will try to initiate some sort of action anonymously. :guitarist
(No the wife does not drive, and other neighbors have occasionally noticed the problem, but they are not as close to it as I am)
Cars :driving:
(No the wife does not drive, and other neighbors have occasionally noticed the problem, but they are not as close to it as I am)
Cars :driving:
Cars 
When you know it's wrong!
cars wrote: When you know it's wrong, but to correct the problem it will be hurting a very nice person(s) involved should you still take action? My next door neighbor is frail, "sickly", & has limited mobility/reflexes. At 87 he has to use a "walker" for stability, and walks very,very slowly with it. At times, even with the walker, he still falls backwards and has to lean on something, or falls down. Yet, this man & his wife still get into his car and "he drives". His Son (does not live with them) says he does not want to have his Father's license taken away, as he does not want to take his Parents freedom and independance away. I can understand that sentiment. But I see this man every day who parks his car in a reserved spot right next to mine, sometimes fall back and have to lean against my car to gain stability before/when trying to get into his. He & his wife go out almost every day! I know it's wrong for this "very nice man" to drive, but I really don't want to be the one to blow the whistle on him to DMV! And take away their independance! :wah:
But if I do nothing, it's only a matter of time where something bad eventually "will" happen!
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Cars :driving:
It's a pretty common and unfortunate problem. My father in law at age 94, here in New Zealand, had his first ever accident while on the way to take his drivers exam and have it renewed. It's fortunate that no one was injured. He was frightened by the occurance and voluntarily decided that he would not drive any more, much to the joy of the family, who had been agonizing over this problem for several years. But, here is an old codger that was still water skiing at age 80 and for him it was an independence thing, He lives alone in about 3,000 sq. ft. of home and wants to keep his car just in case guests arrive and need transportation.
But if I do nothing, it's only a matter of time where something bad eventually "will" happen!
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Cars :driving:
It's a pretty common and unfortunate problem. My father in law at age 94, here in New Zealand, had his first ever accident while on the way to take his drivers exam and have it renewed. It's fortunate that no one was injured. He was frightened by the occurance and voluntarily decided that he would not drive any more, much to the joy of the family, who had been agonizing over this problem for several years. But, here is an old codger that was still water skiing at age 80 and for him it was an independence thing, He lives alone in about 3,000 sq. ft. of home and wants to keep his car just in case guests arrive and need transportation.
When you know it's wrong!
I have a similar situation, I managed to persuade my 70 year old mother to pack in driving a year ago, she was still driving and being encouraged to do so by my father when she had had a couple of minor strokes. After one incident she was walking in her local park and had no idea how she got there. After this I persuaded her driving was not a good idea. Instead of telling her she was too old I used the insurance ploy, i.e. she had not told her insurance company that she had a stroke and therefore if she had an accident they would inviolate her insurance because she had not informed them of her condition.
My father is also still driving with a pre-exsisting heart condition and a failing memory, I will not be in a car with him unless I am driving. he has driven for 60 years and is not about to give up now. Well that is until I stop him, he has no concept any more of speed, distance etc and he is a bloody menace.
The problem here in the UK is that there is no mandatory retest at any age. You get your licence at 17 and keep it til you die. Surely even an eyetest yearly would be a good idea. Only last week I was driving up a motorway and nearly rear ended an old dear doing 40 MPH !!! they are not braking so no lights show and the next thing you know you are in the back of them
My father is also still driving with a pre-exsisting heart condition and a failing memory, I will not be in a car with him unless I am driving. he has driven for 60 years and is not about to give up now. Well that is until I stop him, he has no concept any more of speed, distance etc and he is a bloody menace.
The problem here in the UK is that there is no mandatory retest at any age. You get your licence at 17 and keep it til you die. Surely even an eyetest yearly would be a good idea. Only last week I was driving up a motorway and nearly rear ended an old dear doing 40 MPH !!! they are not braking so no lights show and the next thing you know you are in the back of them
"I have done my duty. I thank God for it!"
When you know it's wrong!
We are taught that the best intentioned people try to be their brothers keeper. When we act on this.. we are called meddlers, or busy bodies. So its always a tough position to be in. Uncomfortabble as it is, sometimes speaking up can save a life up the road. Knowing that you are an intelligent intuitive man I would encourage you to take some action.
[FONT=Microsoft Sans Serif][/FONT]
When you know it's wrong!
I agree with carla's first post about how he should be given tests by the license bureau as a matter of course even.