I have a problem with my wife's jealousy its driving a wedge between us ,I'm not that good looking but I am a nice friendly person have been together for 3 years and I used to have female friends as well as male but now I only have a few male friends left the girls simply don't bother any more its just not worth the trouble it causes .I dread taking my wife out if some woman comes up and talks to me that is it the night is ruined then when we do get home I get the Spanish inquisition for hours on end
I have had to keep this forum a secret for I know she would go through every post I did god forbid some one would send me a private message or post a nice comment on anything i posted
It is making me want to get divorced fortunately there are no children involved the very thing she is worried about , me leaving she is making happen. There has been no other women or anything like that happen her jealousy is getting worse by the day what can I do I don't want to break up but I cant live like this any more help
Does she feel very insecure aka? Maybe she feels your friendly chatting is flirting. Not your fault, I know, but she might need lots of gentle reassurance.
Does she work? Maybe she needs more friends in her life, especially if she's a SAHM. Perhaps she could do a college course or evening course to get her out more and meeting people, you could even go together and have fun. :-6
A marriage counselor will cut right to the bone and offer up some advice, which if followed would be healthy for your marriage. Might need some outside help here before it gets too out of hand. No shame in this. in fact the opposite. Give it a whirl.
aka old buddy you whats happening here ? any way mate I don't think your looking at other women ha ha i must admit i saw your thread i thought uh oh i'm not posting on that one for a while but i feel i must come to your aid before the ladies on here brand you a serial cheat or worse , for they will see it as you trying to chat up women in front of your poor defenseless girlfriend
which clearly is not the case here
i used to have a jealous partner and she made my life a living hell all my mates did not even bother ringing me any more for if i was allowed out she would have to come along and i could not relax and enjoy myself at all any way
i'm just a friendly guy male female young or old it don't matter I'd talk to any one just the same .although i did no wrong people like friendly people i do ,and i'm sure you do too 'so if i see someone that i know is friendly and nice i say hello and smile women probably know your not a player and they can just relax and enjoy your company and say hello ,which is enough to make physco wife (no offence meant)think your shagging her which is probably made worse by your friends that are female only being able to talk to you when she is not around if she lightened up realised your female friends could become her friends as well you could all get along
although i'm not much to look at also i have been told i have the gift of the gab and could right a book on charisma you would never guess it here i cant read or right properly i am a nightmare for any one to go out with because people find me funny (although i can **** off entire continents at times )so only some one very confident could enjoy going out with me in your case its not what your doing wrong its what your partner is afraid of IE you having female friends that will fancy you ,i feel you have to sit her down and just say look i cant live my life in solitary confinement either back off or i'm off either with you or without you i need friends join in or butt out
i feel this is my finest work yet coming to the aid of a fellow brother battered by a physco sister
what you got to say about that then ladies are you going to be reasonable and and see the guys suffering or all band together again bra burning and man whipping :wah: :wah: sorry aka i'm enjoying this one :sneaky:
oops it took me so long to write my master piece loads of ladies have been kind and understanding which of course renders most of what i said use less sorry ladies your not so bad after all
aka wrote: I have a problem with my wife's jealousy its driving a wedge between us ,I'm not that good looking but I am a nice friendly person have been together for 3 years and I used to have female friends as well as male but now I only have a few male friends left the girls simply don't bother any more its just not worth the trouble it causes .I dread taking my wife out if some woman comes up and talks to me that is it the night is ruined then when we do get home I get the Spanish inquisition for hours on end
I have had to keep this forum a secret for I know she would go through every post I did god forbid some one would send me a private message or post a nice comment on anything i posted
It is making me want to get divorced fortunately there are no children involved the very thing she is worried about , me leaving she is making happen. There has been no other women or anything like that happen her jealousy is getting worse by the day what can I do I don't want to break up but I cant live like this any more help
. You poor man it sounds to me like your wife has self esteem issues . She needs HELP is there any way you could get her to talk to somebody - good luck .
pantsonfire321@aol.com wrote: . You poor man it sounds to me like your wife has self esteem issues . She needs HELP is there any way you could get her to talk to somebody - good luck .
Do you two openly discuss this issue? Can you without arguing? There's nothing worse, can't stand it.
Does she watch DR. PHIL ? Buy his book & Discuss the issue, this will cause a divorce. Will she go to counseling? There is a problem with your wife, - insecure and it won't get any better..
Sounds like a dependency problem. I think counsellors are getting better at recognising and correcting that issue. Possessiveness is horrid. Have you ever confronted her by naming "jealously" as the problem?
cherandbuster wrote: It's become a self-fulfilling prophecy, hasn't it?
Good luck. The responses here have been great :-6
aha the voice of reason has speaks the keeper of the garden has spoken the
post that i judge all others by has arrived:)
i take it all back aka they have been pretty fair to be honest mate but if i had not put my 2 cents worth in they would of been on you like a pack of she wolves :wah:
the thing is though buddy it must be a nightmare for your old lady as well who would not feel for some one that's worried every time you talk to some one that they might take you away from her , jealousy is an illness every time you don't do something she gets the green eyed monster about you feed it ,she thinks oh i must of been right he did not do it so tell her your doing nothing wrong she either likes it or lumps it end of ,i used to dread taking my ex out every time a woman spoke to me she would go mental walk home so in the end i stopped speaking to women when she was with me totally which is wrong it played into her hands but all it did was make every one say please don't bring her out she ruins the night so i stopped taking her out so she lost out
please tell me though she cant be jealous of the forum though that is too far how could any one get the green eyed devil about women that are thousands of miles away that you will never meet for pete's sake that is bad maybe I'll give my sue a big hug in a minute makes me realise what a star she is in fact the only thing I'd change about her is her boyfriend :wah:
Peg wrote: Was she like this before you married her? Do you remember when it started? There may be a clue some where as to what has brought this on.
that's a point has she put on weight or are all her mates starting family's does she feel life is passing her by ,are you more at ease with yourself lately now your married are you more relaxed in women's company ? but what i am really wondering is why peg has murder written backwards on her posts is it a subliminal message to make you do away with jealous wife
jimbo wrote: that's a point has she put on weight or are all her mates starting family's does she feel life is passing her by ,are you more at ease with yourself lately now your married are you more relaxed in women's company ? but what i am really wondering is why peg has murder written backwards on her posts is it a subliminal message to make you do away with jealous wife
Noooooo do not do away with the jealous wife. :wah: Just me getting into the halloween mood.
Most people describe jealousy as an extremely painful, "crazy" feeling. A woman who participated in one of my workshops said that jealousy was the most painful thing she had ever experienced: "I tried everything in an attempt to gain some control over it, but nothing works. I don't think I can live with this pain much longer." Even when people who experience extreme jealousy have enough self control not to resort to actual acts of violence, they often fantasize about it. A woman whose estranged husband started dating her best friend said: "I have daydreams in which I go into her apartment with a sledgehammer and start destroying things-- furniture, records, windows. I can virtually hear the glass breaking. These fantasies have a way of calming me down, even if I know I will never carry them out."
I love this magazine.
Depending on how far she goes with it, jealousy is a really big problem.
Someone may have already brought this up. The men and women I have been around that have this "jealousy problem" Seemed not so much jealous to me but more controlling. In other words its a power thing. He/she wants the power to decide who you look at , talk to, etc etc.
I'd just talked sue into her letting me go to Prague to watch my soccer team play in Europe
when i good friend happened to overhear us in the pub and drunkenly told her when he went to Prague he got in until 7 am every morning and the beautiful blond in the corner reminded him of the sexy hooker he had slept with for £10 he went on to say he had a different one every night and he would recommend Prague to any one wanting a bit of male time away from the wife
needless to say my passport mysteriously disappeared and there was no Prague for jimbo
jimbo wrote: I'd just talked sue into her letting me go to Prague to watch my soccer team play in Europe
when i good friend happened to overhear us in the pub and drunkenly told her when he went to Prague he got in until 7 am every morning and the beautiful blond in the corner reminded him of the sexy hooker he had slept with for £10 he went on to say he had a different one every night and he would recommend Prague to any one wanting a bit of male time away from the wife
needless to say my passport mysteriously disappeared and there was no Prague for jimbo
Prague isn't what it used to be..... I went there earlier this year and I had to take out a mortgage to keep me in booze!
Jealousy is a very very ugly word, and is bandied around in a way that makes light of the reall feelings.
What is Jealousy? Think back to all the times you have felt jealous, and think of another way to describe the way that you are feeling?
Anger?
worry?
Betrayal?
or more commonly FEAR!?!?
It's actually much easier to talk rationally about jealousy once you can talk about it in terms of another emotion. Ask her how her jealousy makes her feel. Get her to describe it in terms of another emotion.
Anger = what's the trigger
Worry = caused by what?
Betrayal = by you?
Fear = at history repeating itself? Of losing you? Of being inadequate in some way?
Once you can identify what exactly the problem is, rather than simply 'jealousy' it will be much easier to talk things through and come to a resolution.
I'm not a jealous person by nature. When I first got together with my boyf, he regularly used to take two of his ex girlfriends to dinner to to catch up. (funnily enough, this petered out on their side when they realised he was serious about me)
I never had a problem with this, as I kept two things in mind.
1 - He 's with me because he wants to be. If he changed his mind and wanted to be with someone else, then there is NOTHING I can do about it, it just wasn't meant toe be...
2 - If his ex girlfriends still want to meet him to catch up even after the relationship has ended, then he must be a pretty nice guy....
Boyf is a little bit 'jealous' or as we call it 'insecure' by nature. He's been dumped on from a great height by an ex, so has to try quite hard to rationalise around this. Sometimes, he just tells me he's feeling needy, so I make sure I tell him he's gorgeous, and how much I love him etc......
wow if only all people me included could think along these lines
my girlfriend is friends with my ex with my blessing for she is a good person and i'm glad my gf has a friend with these rare qualities but i on the other hand am forbidden to contact her
they probably both spend a very small amount of time telling each other what a jerk i am :wah: :wah: :wah: :wah:
wow if only all people me included could think along these lines
my girlfriend is friends with my ex with my blessing for she is a good person and i'm glad my gf has a friend with these rare qualities but i on the other hand am forbidden to contact her
they probably both spend a very small amount of time telling each other what a jerk i am :wah: :wah: :wah: :wah:
*takes a bow for the post* ah thank yah....
But...... I thought you said your ex made your girlfriends life a misery for years? Why would they be friends??? Is she into S&M or summat?
You poor man it sounds to me like your wife has self esteem issues . She needs HELP is there any way you could get her to talk to somebody - good luck .
