Not as bad as it sounds I swear.

Babies_Mama00 · Post by **Babies_Mama00** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:01 pm

Allrighty than, now mommy dont get worried I just ant peoples advise and feedback.

I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. Things are great between the two of us and all but he just doesnt understand what I meen when I say that I dont "feel" loved. I meen I know more than anything in the world that he loves me, and this baby we are about to have together. Its just that everytime this topic gets brought up he always asks me how he can make me feel more loved. I never really know what to say because I have never loved someone the way that I love this man and this is all so new to me as it is to him. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas how to kind of add that spark into our relationship. I dont want want him to spend money on me, I dont want him to go out and buy me flowers or anything like that(I am not a flower or chocolate girl) and we just dont have the money right now to go out for dinners. I just yea was wondering if anyone had any ideas of things we/he can do to help my little situation out?

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:05 pm

How about an unexpected card? For no occasion other than he loves you?

How about a 'date night' at the movies, holding hands in the dark?

How about a dinner at home, with candles on the table?

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:07 pm

Babies_Mama00 wrote: Allrighty than, now mommy dont get worried I just ant peoples advise and feedback.

I have been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. Things are great between the two of us and all but he just doesnt understand what I meen when I say that I dont "feel" loved. I meen I know more than anything in the world that he loves me, and this baby we are about to have together. Its just that everytime this topic gets brought up he always asks me how he can make me feel more loved. I never really know what to say because I have never loved someone the way that I love this man and this is all so new to me as it is to him. I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas how to kind of add that spark into our relationship. I dont want want him to spend money on me, I dont want him to go out and buy me flowers or anything like that(I am not a flower or chocolate girl) and we just dont have the money right now to go out for dinners. I just yea was wondering if anyone had any ideas of things we/he can do to help my little situation out?

tell him to run your bath every night from here to eternity. Hold your hand in public, kiss you often in public, at home anywhere, hug you for no reason... good lord if you have to tell him this ahahahaha oooo you guys are still young, just hang in there he tries hard and it will get better remember he is going to feel very unloved when baby comes along as you will be devoting a whole lot of time to baby... just make moments for the 2 of you, like when you pass in the hall, make the effort to kiss him. Keep touching it feels good.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:09 pm

minks wrote: just make moments for the 2 of you, like when you pass in the hall, make the effort to kiss him. Keep touching it feels good.

I agree with Gramma

Just touching each other as you pass by in the hallway. Maybe a pinch on your behind as you are making dinner. It's the unexpected thing, done for no reason other than he loves you. :-4

Babies_Mama00 · Post by **Babies_Mama00** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:11 pm

Well between mom and Cher I think I got all the advise I needed hhehehehe.

I know he is definately worried about when baby comes. Expecially once I get my license, he thinks that baby and I will always be gone.

And yes mom you are right, we are still young. I have noticed that in the past 2ish weeks things have been getting better.(since the night I called you mommy)

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:11 pm

Everyone who loves someone as much as you love him always feels, wow there is no way he/she loves me as much. But men lose man points if they were to point out that they dont feel as loved.

Babies_Mama00 · Post by **Babies_Mama00** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:17 pm

YZGI wrote: Everyone who loves someone as much as you love him always feels, wow there is no way he/she loves me as much. But men lose man points if they were to point out that they dont feel as loved.

Hehehe but we are talking about the guy who walks around wearing a pretty green housecoat with rinestones on it that say LaSenza and matching slippers.......wouldnt that take away a few "men points"

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:37 pm

Babies_Mama00 wrote: Hehehe but we are talking about the guy who walks around wearing a pretty green housecoat with rinestones on it that say LaSenza and matching slippers.......wouldnt that take away a few "men points"

ahahahahaha

Ya know

I think men would be more inclined to give what we want if we give it to them too... ok now that sounded crude but hey if you do the little touchy feely thing he isn't going to say no. If you peck him on the cheek for no reason I bet he would do the same. I am old I am not of huge or vast experience here, but a man is human to and I think a man likes the human contact as much as the woman, they just need to be konked on the head every now and then as a reminder ahahahaha

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:38 pm

minks wrote: I think men would be more inclined to give what we want if we give it to them too... ok now that sounded crude but hey if you do the little touchy feely thing he isn't going to say now. If you peck him on the cheek for no reason I bet he would do the same. I am old I am not of huge or vast experience here, but a man is human to and I think a man likes the human contact as much as the woman, they just need to be konked on the head every now and then as a reminder ahahahaha

Nicely stated :-6

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:39 pm

A little head conking always works for me.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:40 pm

:wah: Minks and the Frying Pan Philosophy!

I agree, and little hugs when you go by, a smooch when you sit down to dinner. Lots of attention for him, because when baby is here he will not get as much attention at first.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:42 pm

YZGI wrote: A little head conking always works for me.

in the nicest possible way....

Some days I think us women think you men should be mind readers... oh hunny how come you never kiss me like you used to.... yet... when you all try we are either washing dishes, a kid is screaming or there is some other complex reason not to do it because we are having some sort of crisis.... soooooo what happens eventually the actions stop and us silly women get sad because we don't get the attention....

gawd women are so messed up.....

hah

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:43 pm

chonsigirl wrote: :wah: Minks and the Frying Pan Philosophy!

I agree, and little hugs when you go by, a smooch when you sit down to dinner. Lots of attention for him, because when baby is here he will not get as much attention at first.

ahahaha shall I go on ahahahaha cute CG

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:53 pm

minks wrote: in the nicest possible way....

Some days I think us women think you men should be mind readers... oh hunny how come you never kiss me like you used to.... yet... when you all try we are either washing dishes, a kid is screaming or there is some other complex reason not to do it because we are having some sort of crisis.... soooooo what happens eventually the actions stop and us silly women get sad because we don't get the attention....

gawd women are so messed up.....

hah

See?

Isn't it a good idea to *tell* your loved one what you want?

How can you expect him/her to always read your mind ? :-6

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:55 pm

*psst, does that always work when the football game is on?*

:wah:

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 1:58 pm

Pinky wrote: The odd reminder does no harm.

In fact, it is essential

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:00 pm

Yeah, I can discretely leave the Frying Pan sitting by the remote on game day...............:wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:02 pm

chonsigirl wrote: Yeah, I can discretely leave the Frying Pan sitting by the remote on game day...............:wah:

Be sure and have bacon in it.

Babies_Mama00 · Post by **Babies_Mama00** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:02 pm

You guys are all awsome.

Im sorry to say it mom but I honestly dont want his and my relationship to end up like my mom and dads was. I have told him time and time again that I never saw dad give mom a hug or a kiss or do something cute and special for her. But when she was with her last b/f he did all those cute things, and that is what I want. I meen my hunny will always wake me up in the morning for a goodbye kiss and hug and he tells me CONSTANTLY that he loves me, but the little things just arent there anymore. I at first thought it was because he was not attracted to me because I am pregnant but he was quick to correct me on that one. We live with room mates and he just doesnt like to be all mushy when everyone is around. It is hard to get an hour or 2 alone just the two of us, unless we leave the house. I agree with im at the fact he does not like to be muchy when everyone is around because it makes them, all uncomfortable. But we are working on getting a piece of land and putting up seperate houses for all of us. I am going to start doing some of the things you have all said and I am going to cross my fingers that it works. Thanks guys!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:07 pm

chonsigirl wrote: Yeah, I can discretely leave the Frying Pan sitting by the remote on game day...............:wah:

ahahaha good plan *adds that note to book minks plans to write*

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:14 pm

:wah:

Attached files

Babies_Mama00 · Post by **Babies_Mama00** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:16 pm

hehe same to you tmbsgrl.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:26 pm

chonsigirl wrote: :wah:

OMG Bunny GIrl that is priceless ahahahahahaha

Babies_Mama00 · Post by **Babies_Mama00** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:29 pm

I feel the same exact way. Or when I am upset it seems the dog can sence it better than the b/f.

Like the other night I felt like I was dieing I was in so much pain because I was dumb and drank a glass of milk knowing I shouldnt have and our dog came up and lied with me on the couch and cuddled and all and the boyfriend didnt catch on that I was feeling poopy. LIKE HOW OBLIVIOUS CAN ONE BE!!

Altho some days hes not that bad I must admit.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:47 pm

Ah sweetness, :-4

you will both have the brightest spark in the world to make your lives complete soon enough.

Babies_Mama00 · Post by **Babies_Mama00** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 3:04 pm

abbey that is the cutest little baby pic I have seen!! I cant wait until he gets to that stage.

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Fri Oct 06, 2006 4:48 pm

I think that before your first baby is born there are so many thoughts, feelings and emotions rushing round our systems that we dont know WHAT to think - you're worried about the birth, about the baby - will it love me, hate me, bond with me, what if I dont love it, why is he screaming so much.... I know I had millions of things zooming around my head worrying me before my first baby was born and that included - does he still love me, etc.

Once the baby arrived and was on 4 hourly feeds, hubby & I would take turns to get up and feed him, even though hubby worked from 7am-6pm. One night the baby was crying and I was SO tired I couldn't even move and without a word hubby got up and warmed the baby's bottle, fed him changed him rocked him and put him back to bed, even though he was totally exhausted too..... and i just thought THATS what love is all about! It's not flowers or chocolates (although they're lovely) - its just about being there, being comforting and helping your partner without being asked and being part of a team - two halves of a whole. :-6