Please allow me a long vent... most of you can skip!

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:21 am

Some of you know that recently my aunt passed away. My sister,

who lives in the same little Sierra town, has been trying to take care

of figuring out what happens with my aunt's "estate". (Basically, it's

a piece of property).

I'm doing quite a lot of this: :-5 because of the normal frustrations

of this kind of thing, but also because I'm geographically removed and

because my sister doesn't really seem to "get it". Last night I went

around with her at some length on the phone and really didn't get

anywhere, it wasn't a bad conversation per se but my sis started

making comments about the battery in her cordless going, she sounded

fine to me but I think that's just what she does as an "out".

As far as I can tell, nobody has notified all the organizations that were

sending my aunt money (Soc. Sec., Medi-Cal, etc.) that she is

deceased. My aunt's trailer has been sealed by the sheriff's dept.,

my sis was allowed to get in and rescue my aunt's 2 cats and do

a brief "paperwork" search, but then the trailer was sealed back up.

I can't seem to get my sister to grasp all the little details, like a

fridge full of food going bad, the need to pay mortgage/prop taxes

so that it isn't foreclosed on, and the Medi-Cal estate recovery

program that will likely take any proceeds of a sale. Right now the

lawyer my sis got says 6 months to a year before it's settled, which

I told my sis a month ago at least, and nobody seems to see the

urgency in figuring stuff out like I do.

The lawyer first said (absent the will being found which my aunt told

me about and I think is still in the trailer somewhere!) that my aunt's

estate would go to my mother. Since my mom has advanced Alzheimer's,

that meant my sister in Idaho with the power of attorney would

handle it. Fine. But NOW the lawyer is saying the estate might go to

my 103 year old grandmother, who long ago gave power of attorney

to a "kind neighbor". More :-5 for me, I can tell you!!

I'm REALLY trying to not let this stress me, but it is as you can tell.

I just foresee a BIG hassle down the road, especially since I will be

helping clean out and pack up a trailer that hasn't had anything done

to it for the last 30 years or so. I don't care about possesions, but

I would like to get whatever photos and newspaper articles my aunt

had.

Anyway, thanks gang, it helped me just to type it all out. Anyone

have some comfoting thoughts for me, go ahead on!!

:-6

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:23 am

I can offer you a hug, a kiss, and two shoulders to lean on.

Love you, babe :-4

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 9:26 am

So sorry about your aunt's passing.

A similar thing happened when my uncle died. Lots of stuff to sort out.

Did she leave a will? Is there an executor to her estate? How about a family lawyer? There needs to be someone who is not emotionally attached to the family going through and making sure all this stuff gets done, and that those who want things as momentos get them divided amonst themselves fairly.

Good luck to you. We are always here to be vented at.

weber · Post by **weber** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 10:06 am

Sorry to hear Val.

It is difficult. All I can say is that yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't here yet so today is all you can work with. And sometimes in cases like this, it helps to live in the moment.:-6 :-4

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:29 am

Oh Val how very frustrating....

Seems someone needs to get to a single lawyer and get things sorted with who in the end is in charge and then some voice of reason (yours) has to step in and be firm and get things done.

I am sorry you have this going on.

M

Huggs

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:51 am

Val a big hug for you this is never easy no matter how planned out the estate was. I will you the best kiddo..:-4

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:16 pm

Val.... :yh_hugs :-4 :yh_hugs

Your Gran's 103?? WOW!

valerie · Post by **valerie** » Fri Oct 13, 2006 1:18 pm

Yeah, and only went into a nursing home at age 98... lived on her own

'till then...

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:38 am

Oh, NO! ((((HUGS)))) Been through this, Val....sorry! It might help to start making lists and having your sister do two or three at a time. If she sees the entire list, she might "fade" on you. Obviously, you need an attorney. I'm so sorry!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:41 am

:-4 Hugs for you Val, this is alot on you.