How do you like your carrots?

weinbeck · Post by **weinbeck** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:03 pm

Finding it increasingly difficult to satisfy the natural desires of his wife, and terrified that she might leave him for a younger, more virile man, in desperation a husband tries using a warmed up carrot with the lights out. This works until he comes one evening to find his wife waving it in his face.

"What the HELL is THIS?" She screams, almost demented with rage. He goes white as a ghost, and tries to calm her down, but she's having none of it.

"I want an explanation! You don't desire me any more...you've been seeing somebody else...I wanna divorce..." She goes on and on. In the end, he snaps. Grabbing it from her, he waves it in her face.

"Alright! You want an explanation, I'll give you one, but first of all give me one yourself - how comes you made medical history by becoming pregnant three times with a bloody carrot!"

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:06 pm

Oh that is gooooooooooood

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:15 pm

This explains what I learned in Grade School

Granny ate carrots, have your bread Robert.

(they told me the first letter of each word started the name of a country the Danube flowed through... Germany, Austria etc... but it was all code, all code.... arrghhgghgh)

And now I've caught the haiku bug from Snoozie..

Wind song and bright dawn

Ripples upon the water

Life's warmest carrot

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:18 pm

You mean your not supposed to use carrots? Oh dear, I think I've made a terrible mistake!

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:22 pm

roflmao!!!!!:yh_rotfl

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:22 pm

I just keep seeing scenes from Clockwork Orange, Galbally. That was one BIG carrot... but of course it's not the size that counts..

Attached files

weinbeck · Post by **weinbeck** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:38 pm

AussiePam wrote: I just keep seeing scenes from Clockwork Orange, Galbally. That was one BIG carrot... but of course it's not the size that counts..

Ooooooooo! - painful!

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:41 pm

Hey it's not the size of the carrot that counts..It's the er, ah, carrot wiggler..

one inch of the best;)

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:44 pm

I'm going to hit the shower and wash my mind out shortly, but.. gee.. I know from my handling of carrots in kitchen mode that it takes ages to get that orange stain off yer hands, let alone yer um ............................

weinbeck · Post by **weinbeck** » Mon Oct 16, 2006 2:01 pm

AussiePam wrote: I'm going to hit the shower and wash my mind out shortly, but.. gee.. I know from my handling of carrots in kitchen mode that it takes ages to get that orange stain off yer hands, let alone yer um ............................

ER...YES, well, have a nice shower!!!