Rites and Ceremonies

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 3:44 am

Are they important? How necessary are they in today's society?

I've experienced:

Birthday parties

high school graduation ceremony

grad school graduation ceremony

swearing-in ceremony when I joined the military

retirement ceremony 21 years laterI've missed experiencing:

college graduation

wedding

possibly others I can't think of right nowWe mark even the most informal events with some kind of ceremony. Think of the going away parties as work, etc.

So how important are rites and ceremonies to you? Do they strengthen society?

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:06 am

I always dread going to ceremonies and rites then usually have a good time when I get there. IMO anything that keeps people from becoming isolated is a good thing. Whether it be to share joy or sadness it creates the illusion of not being alone and tends to contribute positively to society.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:15 am

Morning Accountable!! Great subject!!

I wouldn't say a person or society will be damaged if they don't have a ceremony, but generally speaking, I think ceremony is important for creating reason to recognize the value and meaning of the events in one's life. Yes, I do think that strengthens society. It's important for recognizing the individual's self worth and important for creating community both among families and other members of society.

When I think of some of the things that deserve to have ceremony around them, I think of marriage, birth, death, occupational events, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, religious occasions, etc, etc! If you don't mark time, there is little to remember by when you look back. I feel honoring an occasion with ceremony or special rite helps give meaning to our lives and a society where individuals feel they have meaning and worth is a community with more respect and compassion for themselves and each other.

Man...this is my inner 18 year old idealistic self talking...

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:23 am

koan wrote: I always dread going to ceremonies and rites then usually have a good time when I get there. IMO anything that keeps people from becoming isolated is a good thing. Whether it be to share joy or sadness it creates the illusion of not being alone and tends to contribute positively to society.Illusion??

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:28 am

RedGlitter wrote:

Morning Accountable!! Great subject!!

I wouldn't say a person or society will be damaged if they don't have a ceremony, but generally speaking, I think ceremony is important for creating reason to recognize the value and meaning of the events in one's life. Yes, I do think that strengthens society. It's important for recognizing the individual's self worth and important for creating community both among families and other members of society.

When I think of some of the things that deserve to have ceremony around them, I think of marriage, birth, death, occupational events, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, religious occasions, etc, etc! If you don't mark time, there is little to remember by when you look back. I feel honoring an occasion with ceremony or special rite helps give meaning to our lives and a society where individuals feel they have meaning and worth is a community with more respect and compassion for themselves and each other.

Man...this is my inner 18 year old idealistic self talking...:oIdealism is good! It seems people reject the ideal first before considering any other options.

My beloved and I can't remember when/how we got engaged. I mean there was no defining on-one-knee moment. Also there was no wedding, only a whirlwind of driving and paperwork I described somewhere else in the Garden.

But if I could do it again ........ :rolleyes:

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:31 am

Rituals and ceremonies are very important to many.

I am looking forward so much to my #1 daughter's wedding next summer. It is something, as a mother, I've dreamed of for years. This is a very importat ceremony for the family to celebrate and participate with.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 4:38 am

I hadn't thought of that (hazard of growing up in foster care). The rites and ceremonies the kids go through must be doubly important for the parents.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:03 am

Accountable wrote: Illusion??

I was wondering if you'd pick that word out. Yes, we are, underneath it all, essentially alone. That's why ceremonies are needed.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:08 am

koan wrote: I was wondering if you'd pick that word out. Yes, we are, underneath it all, essentially alone. That's why ceremonies are needed.I'm sad for you. I don't feel alone at all.

koan · Post by **koan** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:41 am

Accountable wrote: I'm sad for you.
My goodness! Why?

The Call Of Solitude

Ester Buchholz

Psychology Today, Jan-Feb 1998

In the past century, the way we have handled aloneness has changed dramatically. "Alone" did not always mean an absence of others. The word was coined in medieval times, and originally signified a completeness in one's singular being. In religious terminology, "solitude" typically meant the experience of oneness with God. Yet all current meanings of "alone" imply a lack o something. Invariable, solitude meets with social questioning, if not censure. Even worse, people associate going it alone with antisocial pursuits and unnecessary risk taking. Perhaps most striking, solitude conjures up pangs of loneliness...

Psychology is only just beginning to distinguish aloneness from loneliness. Longing for a lover, relative, or friend is not the cause of loneliness, nor is finding someone necessarily the cure. People inside a tight-knit nuclear family can be just as unknown and lonely as those living on their own. Attachments are not automatically fulfilling relationships.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 12:59 pm

Accountable;440099 wrote: Are they important? How necessary are they in today's society?

I've experienced:

Birthday parties

high school graduation ceremony

grad school graduation ceremony

swearing-in ceremony when I joined the military

retirement ceremony 21 years laterI've missed experiencing:

college graduation

wedding

possibly others I can't think of right nowWe mark even the most informal events with some kind of ceremony. Think of the going away parties as work, etc.

So how important are rites and ceremonies to you? Do they strengthen society?

Gosh....this really got me thinking !

I enjoy being 'on my own' but I have the choice to join in with many of the events you mention, and on the whole I enjoy being involved.

At many of these events you meet up with friends and relations you rarely see and indeed make new friends sometimes. I don't search them out, but I'm glad they are there.

On a 'National' basis I find that the traditional annual ceremonies like Rememberance Day, are important because they are a coming together of people from all denominations, cultures etc therefore in a way they do strengthen society.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 1:41 pm

About 8 months ago. my eldest son asked myself and my other kids to his house for a meal on a Friday night. Ever since, we have taken turns to have a Family Friday night on a regular basis.....it's my turn this week....Pizza night at Bezzies !!!

We are a close family but we don't 'live in each others pockets'.......these regualr get togethers have really bought us closer....i love them....

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:17 pm

Bez;440553 wrote: We are a close family but we don't 'live in each others pockets'.......these regular get togethers have really bought us closer....i love them....

That's great, Bez

The year that my mom passed away

Hubby and I had a party at our house for her birthday (a few months earlier)

My sister said, "What's the big deal? We talk on the phone to each other all the time -- and it's not a significant birthday (like 70 or 75)."

I insisted we celebrate

And you know what

To this day, one of my sister's favorite pictures of my Mom, her and me

Is from that particular birthday celebration

So it's really important

To celebrate the happy occasions in life

and create wonderful memories together :-6

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Oct 25, 2006 5:16 pm

Bez;440553 wrote: About 8 months ago. my eldest son asked myself and my other kids to his house for a meal on a Friday night. Ever since, we have taken turns to have a Family Friday night on a regular basis.....it's my turn this week....Pizza night at Bezzies !!!

We are a close family but we don't 'live in each others pockets'.......these regualr get togethers have really bought us closer....i love them....
That reminds me of this story I posted almost a year ago:

Accountable;171547 wrote: My family disentegrated when I was a kid (long story). I'm the youngest of five. In 1999, we all agreed to get together at the old family church. It would be the first time all five of us had been in the same room in 25 years! I was in Japan, one brother was in Italy (Army), the other brother and sister were in North Carolina, and the eldest sister was still in our home town.

Long separate story short, my plane broke down and they cancelled my flight from Japan. All other flights were booked. I missed the reunion.

Flash forward a couple of months. I received a VHS tape in the mail. There was the reunion. One of the most boring things, the family reunion. It was held in the old church's reception hall, a long room with a kitchenette at one end and folding tables & chairs scattered around. I watched as old ladies hobbled from the shadows of our past and did the old lady thing: "Do you remember who I am?" while holding the listener's face with both hands. People sat around drinking koolaid punch from plastic cups. There were probably 15-20 people. No speeches, no music, just punch and remeniscing. At the end of the tape I found myself crying, tears flowing freely. It struck me funny that I would undoubtedly be bored out of my head, had I been there. But when I laughed, it came out as a loud painful bawl. I boohooed for several minutes, the whole time laughing inside at how that oh-so-boring tape affected me.