Friend Problems

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 6:40 pm

Susie, she's a user and dumping on you. she doesn't want to hear your advice. and i feel like YOU are being abused. let her wallow in her own mess. she clearly has no ambition whatsoever, you can't solve her problems. don't let her bring you down. i am sure many will disagree with that i am saying, but there comes a time to distance yourself from the blood-sucking drains on your energy and time and good nature. tell her to stuff it.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 6:50 pm

she is an equal contributor to the mess. save yourself from this one. sometimes you need to cut your losses. she can't work because she's fat?? oh PLEASE!. and the husband sounds like he's on the ragged edge of going off, i don't want to see you around for that. if she is being hit she knows what to do. and i have seen just as many abusive females as males. she is going to sit on her butt until someone "saves her", but she is not going to save herself. and you CAN'T.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 7:23 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: Lc,

She doesn't live here. She lives in Chicago. Thank GOD. I know you are right.. As always..

I am scared she is going to commit suicide as a way out. I know what she says is crazy but she has mentioned suicide more then once. That is what scares me. :(SUSIE...i know you know this...YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT SHE MAY OR MAY NOT DO. if you know someone close to her, tell them she has threatened suicide, that is all you can do.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 7:56 pm

listen To Lc On This Please..!!

BTS · Post by **BTS** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 8:05 pm

Scrat wrote: 3 words.

JUST WALK AWAY.

3 words

Jerry Springer Show

Just a thought................

WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 8:46 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: Trust me I am going to listen to Ladycop.. She knows what she is talking about. Thanks everyone.. can i be your spare mom? :yh_hugs

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Sat Mar 26, 2005 10:58 am

lady cop wrote: Susie, she's a user and dumping on you. she doesn't want to hear your advice. and i feel like YOU are being abused. let her wallow in her own mess. she clearly has no ambition whatsoever, you can't solve her problems. don't let her bring you down. i am sure many will disagree with that i am saying, but there comes a time to distance yourself from the blood-sucking drains on your energy and time and good nature. tell her to stuff it.I just thought that needed repeating.

"a blood-sucking drain on your energy and good nature"....geez but that's perfect.

Susie you're a very nice person and a good friend and it's apparent you want to try and help people whenever you can. The operative words there are "when you can." You can't help this person, because she obviously doesn't want help. She wants to dump on you and have you feel sorry for her. When you tell her the brutal truth, it's not what she wants to hear, so it pisses her off. Tough noogies. Dump the "blood-sucker", run, and don't look back. There's plenty of other people out there who will benefit from your friendship and kindness and APPRECIATE it. :yh_hugs

BonnieScotsLass · Post by **BonnieScotsLass** » Sat Mar 26, 2005 1:50 pm

Susie I had a friend that sounds just like yours who was taking over my life completely and hated any type of happiness I had. For 5 years I listened and was there for her whenever she needed me which resulted in calls in the middle of the night etc; to her moving in with me rent free for months, as well as her insulting me in ways she thought I wouldn't realise and telling me my fella would dump me cos he didn't really like me (we're getting married in 6 months time so guess he does like me :wah: ) This continued til January this year when my grandfather died and I needed a little support from her and all I got was an hour long dialogue of what she and her boyfriend had said to each other in a row. I was stunned and hurt but on returning from my Grandad's funeral I let her know exactly how I felt and told her I no longer had the energy, time or inclination to devote to her or her problems any more. It sounds harsh and it's hard to break of that contact but I managed it and now I get peace without someone putting on me all the time. Be strong and you'll be fine there is plenty of people out there looking for a friend like you and who won't use you. Keep Smiling

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:43 pm

Tgirl, I seem to be telling people this a lot lately in real time too. Do what you can and what makes you feel good and then walk away. You have your life, you have your happiness and Gawd Dang it you deserve to be happy because you worked hard to make life happy for you and yours. Let her wallow in her own pity party and try to accept, you did your best and have to let go.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:54 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: Thanks Minks! I have realized that.. now. It was hard because i felt like i was walking away from her when she needed me most.. But this has been going on for 3 years. I can not take anymore. I feel better now that I have said something to her cousin. Hopefully she can help. If she will let her.

excellent plan my dear. Not easy but I think it is the best you can do and have done.

Post by **kensloft** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 9:01 pm

tmbsgrl wrote: Thanks Minks! I have realized that.. now. It was hard because i felt like i was walking away from her when she needed me most.. But this has been going on for 3 years. I can not take anymore. I feel better now that I have said something to her cousin. Hopefully she can help. If she will let her.

When they start talking about suicide it is time to step back. Whether she means it or not it is a sign that she is on the road to a bad life. She'll make your life out to be more pitiful than hers and if you hang around long enough you just might believe it.

If she wants to be your friend then she'll take the steps that are needed to rectify the situation. When she does that you can talk about being friends, so, until then pass on her fantasies and live your life.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:31 pm

I read Tarot cards. I know the routine. I love listening and hope I can help but you have to know when to call off a negative dependency. And, boy, can they lay guilt trips. I am not responsible for the actions they take in their lives. I hope they choose wisely. That's the best I can do.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 10:36 pm

koan wrote: I read Tarot cards. I know the routine. I love listening and hope I can help but you have to know when to call off a negative dependency. And, boy, can they lay guilt trips. I am not responsible for the actions they take in their lives. I hope they choose wisely. That's the best I can do.

Well put Koan and so very true. TGirl you have our support so run with it.