paddy's son

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:06 am

my friend paddy's son passed away yesterday , i will give him a bit of space then call him later strange how things work out

his son dying on the very day i celebrate my daughters birth

fate is so strange

any one with faith or good wishes please pray for paddy and to give him the strength for him to carry on in this terrible time for him

the only thing that gives me comfort is that his very brave son is not suffering any more :-4

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:08 am

how sad...how old was he? what happened to him?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:19 am

lady cop;470927 wrote: how sad...how old was he? what happened to him?

there is a picture of paddy and i somewhere on here i posted a couple of months ago , he had cancer he had an arm removed a while back and he was in a hospice paddy knew he never had not long to live and we did spend a bit of time together , i had a little girl called natasha that died years ago paddy was asking me how it felt to lose a loved one and all questions abot the funeral the coffin after it all , so i think he had prepared himself as much as he could of, i never met his son i only saw photo's all i can say is he looked like an angel beautifull features and huge big brown eyes . all he was concerned about was how paddy and his mum would cope he did not want them to be deverstated when he died

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:22 am

how awful...was he a child?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:28 am

lady cop;470941 wrote: how awful...was he a child?

sorry cant think straight, yes he was 15 years old

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:30 am

so sorry to hear that. my heart goes out to his family.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:31 am

:yh_hugs So sad Jimbo, sending prayers.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:33 am

Such sad news Jim, tell Paddy that we'll be thinking of him and his family.

Carry on being a good mate to him, he will appreciate it - so many people don't know how to handle death so they stay away from the bereaved.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:39 am

Hey Jimbo:-6

I'm sending my strongest beams to Paddy and his family.

How are you doing, my friend?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:04 am

cherandbuster;470953 wrote: Hey Jimbo:-6

I'm sending my strongest beams to Paddy and his family.

How are you doing, my friend?

i'm ok thanks special cher

sue is seeing the top doc on the 8th dec we are pleased but worried also

good to see my girl but sad to leave her

my uncle freds birthday today sad he is gone but very glad to of had the very good times i had with such a great man in my life

i'm so sad for paddys son yet some how its a relief its over for him he was in so much pain

so sad for paddy but the strain of knowing a loved one is going to die any day is too much for any one to bare , i'm glad that the nightmare is over for him and he has the chance to find the peace that he so deserves

i dont know if that makes sense lovelly cher but at the moment they are my thoughts :-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:11 am

Imladris;470950 wrote: Such sad news Jim, tell Paddy that we'll be thinking of him and his family.

Carry on being a good mate to him, he will appreciate it - so many people don't know how to handle death so they stay away from the bereaved.

i gal you are wise as always

when natasha passed away good friends crossed the road rather than talk to me some people just dont know what to say , i would say the hurt of being ignored far out ways any thing wrong they could of said

paddy and dawn my friends with cancer both say when it comes out that they have it people stop touching them , you cant catch it like that i wondered why people do that

when i first met paddy i shook his hand and after i knew him for a while he said that people stopped touching him and me doing that meant a lot to him dawn said the same thing

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 8:12 am

How truly sad for your friend. He is lucky to have a friend in you Jimbo.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 8:18 am

Paddy is in my prayers this will be a rough time for sure.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 10:53 am

jimbo;470980 wrote: i gal you are wise as always

when natasha passed away good friends crossed the road rather than talk to me some people just dont know what to say , i would say the hurt of being ignored far out ways any thing wrong they could of said

paddy and dawn my friends with cancer both say when it comes out that they have it people stop touching them , you cant catch it like that i wondered why people do that

when i first met paddy i shook his hand and after i knew him for a while he said that people stopped touching him and me doing that meant a lot to him dawn said the same thing

It frustrates me when people say that they don't know what to say to the bereaved - I tell them to say that!!

Just tell them that you don't know what to say or do to help them but that you're thinking of them. The thing most people want is the chance to talk and have someone listen, often about the same thing over and over again but without someone else saying 'I know what you mean, when this happened to me......' - when you've just lost a person you care for you don't care about other people's experiences you just care about your own.

You know all this Jimbo, you've experienced this yourself, you know that just a thought or a hug can mean so much so I am sure that you will help Paddy just by being his friend. but don't feel bad about being happy that you've been to see your daughter - Paddy will be pleased for you, he might find it hard to show it but he will.:-4

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 12:39 pm

Imladris;471163 wrote: It frustrates me when people say that they don't know what to say to the bereaved - I tell them to say that!!

Just tell them that you don't know what to say or do to help them but that you're thinking of them. The thing most people want is the chance to talk and have someone listen, often about the same thing over and over again but without someone else saying 'I know what you mean, when this happened to me......' - when you've just lost a person you care for you don't care about other people's experiences you just care about your own.

You know all this Jimbo, you've experienced this yourself, you know that just a thought or a hug can mean so much so I am sure that you will help Paddy just by being his friend. but don't feel bad about being happy that you've been to see your daughter - Paddy will be pleased for you, he might find it hard to show it but he will.:-4
paddy did say last time i spoke to him that he was glad i was going to see Chantalle and he really meant it , when my girl Natasha died i had to go and get some money off of a guy for work I'd done when i got there he ushered his young daughter out of the room , when i asked him why he said he thought it would be painful for me to see other kids , i told him not to be so silly i love kids its strange the way peoples minds work when faced with the unthinkable for them

dawns husband mick took me to one side last time i saw them and said dawn has had bad news ,i went right up to her hugged her and said sorry to hear things are not going so well for you now give me a hug

mick also said when he is at the hospital with dawn getting her chemo treatment he always finds the time to talk to the other husbands and tells them what to expect and they are always very grateful for they don't like to ask and unless you have been through it you don't feel like you can tell any one , mick also feels that its a two way street by helping others dealing with this you also don't feel so alone and in turn you feel better , this was the way i felt with paddy about his child's death , and when paddy is ready we will talk and i will help out all i can , you must have a lot of experience in this field i gal i just know you must help out a lot of people with your kind comforting words you have definitely made me feel loads better on more than one occasion

thanks buddy :-4

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:40 pm

I'm sorry to hear that.

beautifulben'smum · Post by **beautifulben'smum** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:11 pm

Hello Jim, so sad to read your news. My heart goes out to Paddy, I know how hard it must be for him. I pray his son is in a better place now and at peace.

My son Ben is 15 too. He will be 16 2 days before Christmas, if he makes it to then. He is deteriorating very quickly now. The type of brain tumour he has is very cruel - it is slowly taking away all his abilities. He can now barely walk or talk and soon will not be able to swallow at all. However, we have still managed to have a laugh today, putting up the Christmas Decorations and decorating Ben's wheelchair with tinsel. It is amazing how you manage to still find joy in things. At the moment I do not worry about Ben dying, because I know he will then no longer be suffering and that will be such a relief.

Keep that sense of humour going, mine keeps surfacing every now and then, I'm very pleased to say.

Take care

Julie

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 3:20 pm

paddy is not answering his phone i guess he needs space to deal with his pain in his own way , i tried to pm you a day or so ago , it said you needed to empty your mail box , when my natasha was in hospital she was in a lot of pain she would of been brain damaged had she lived she would of had no quality of life had she survived when she finaly lost her fight for life the pain went from her beautifull little face and she looked like a sleeping beautiful angel i took great comfort in knowing that she would suffer no more , if you ever need to talk i'm here jimbo :-4 :-6

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 3:20 am

Hugs for Jimbo, Paddy and Ben's Mum.:-4 :yh_hugs

beautifulben'smum · Post by **beautifulben'smum** » Mon Dec 04, 2006 7:27 am

Thanks for your reply Jim. Sorry to hear you can't get through to Paddy at the moment. I'm sure he knows you are there for him when he is ready to talk. I can only begin to imagine the feelings that you must have gone through when you lost your beautiful daughter - the despair of her no longer being with you, mixed with the relief of knowing she was at peace. It's hard to feel both feelings at the same time - I know.

I have made some room in my message box so feel free to PM me whenever you like.

Thank you for friendship.

Take care

Julie