The BROWN CARDIGAN

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:51 pm

I know this is one of those "you had to've BEEN there" things, but after several months of hearing it mentioned by people I like...I'm dying of curiousity.

Can anyone enlighten me?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:52 pm

Lulu2;482004 wrote: I know this is one of those "you had to've BEEN there" things, but after several months of hearing it mentioned by people I like...I'm dying of curiousity.

Can anyone enlighten me?

:yh_rotfl

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:53 pm

This is the war of attrition between the Cardibirds

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:53 pm

Lulu! You mean you don't know about Betty's brown cardi??

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 4:59 pm

Uncle Kram;482008 wrote: This is the war of attrition between the Cardibirds

:wah: After visiting Theia yesterday this is also going to become a battle of scarves, although on second thoughts she can have it, all I did was eat the damn thing all day!

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:13 pm

Betty Boop;482016 wrote: :wah: After visiting Theia yesterday this is also going to become a battle of scarves, although on second thoughts she can have it, all I did was eat the damn thing all day!
Sounds like it left a bitter taste in your mouth Boops :-3

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 5:47 pm

:-1 Noooooo....I don't knoooooowwwwwww! Is it a secret? Some initiation garment which gets you into the HOLY OF HOLIES?

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:30 pm

Oh dear !!!! The Brown Cardie Caper!!! Dare we go there?? :sneaky:

For me, this has been one of the highest points of FG. Deeply philosophical questions Proust would be struggling with, Freudian angst of the most delicate kind, high drama worthy of Mr Shakespeare, low drama of the very best soapie variety, mystery like Agatha Christie would have killed for, intrigue befitting the Venetian Republic in its most decadently extravagant heyday, homely bits like you'd find in National Velvet, inspiring episodes that put Readers Digest in the shade, comedy - Benny Hill meets Woodie Allen...

I'm thinking of seeing if we can turn this into a Musical. Reckon it'd make us rich, rich, RICH!!!!!!!!!!! :sneaky:

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:37 pm

It's some sort of SUPER SECRET, ARCANE CODE, isn't it?

And, clearly, I am not worthy. :-1

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:41 pm

YES

Clearly

:sneaky:

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:42 pm

How did YOU become worthy, my esteemed one?

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:48 pm

:sneaky:

Some are born esteemed, Lulu

Some achieve esteemedness

And some just have it thrust upon them, kind like a brown cardie...

Or

Make our English ladies a pot of tea, put some scones in the oven, get out the clotted cream and jam and esteem will oooze from your SoCal pores. And all will become clear.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:51 pm

(It's late in the evening, and in the shallow pools of pale light, a solitary figure walks slowly into the darkness, sighing, little shoulders heaving....unloved, unesteemed, shut out from the very society she seeks. Alas. She looks for worms to eat.)

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:54 pm

Lulu2;482064 wrote: (It's late in the evening, and in the shallow pools of pale light, a solitary figure walks slowly into the darkness, sighing, little shoulders heaving....unloved, unesteemed, shut out from the very society she seeks. Alas. She looks for worms to eat.)

GUFFAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, okay... I'll look up the archives and see if I can find the historical threads. They're worth it. Gonna have some lunch now.. I'm faint for lack of nourishment (that's English!) and will email you a synopsis. Grin.

I hate the idea of your little shoulders heaving. I'm sobbing now right onto my keyboard.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:56 pm

Nearing the river, the solitary little figure stops to stare into the greasy water....fog makes rings around the street lights, reflecting on what may well be the final resting place for the dejected, broken wretch.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:58 pm

*theme music softly plays in the background*

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:00 pm

Broken, unwanted, wearing a decrepit raincoat, mist drips from her nose as she listens to the plaintive strains of a blues harmonica.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:13 pm

*grabbing the tissue box*

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:26 pm

Across the river, through the mist, a merry band of laughing friends approaches. The sounds of their enjoyment are like music to the ears of our saddened little figure. She lifts a hand, tentatively and almost waves...but, in the flat light of the street lamps, she sees that they are wearing.....

brown cardigans.

Her hand falls to her side....they turn away and their laughter fades into the foggy night.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:38 pm

*looking for knitting needle and brown yarn*

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:49 pm

In a decrepit raincoat, my poetical Muse

Made me walk by the river with fog in me shoes

Unesteemed and unloved

Got the brown cardie blues

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:59 pm

"Oh, nobody knows da trouble ah sees....nobody knows mah sorrow! If only ah had a cardigan, please, ah'd have a good tomorrrrooowwwwwww."

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:08 pm

Guffaw

:D

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 11:33 pm

Can I play?? (Rain asks meekly and humbly) I don't want to wander in the foggy wet streets alone either. I want to belong too. (I say in my best baby voice)

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sun Dec 10, 2006 11:57 pm

G'day Rain. Would you please visit Australia right now and drop some moisture upon this wide brown and extremely dry land. Grin.

Why does all this flowery prose not lift my spirits to the realm of high poesie, as merited by the Mystical Quest for the Brown Cardigan in the Garden Perilous?

Why do I just think of the Foggy Foggy Dew?

I am a wicked wench and I live with my son and I work at the weaver's trade

And every every time I look into his eyes he reminds me that once I was a maid

He reminds me of the summer time, and of the winter too

And the many many times I should have just stayed

By the river in the foggy foggy dew.

theia · Post by **theia** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:13 am

BBC is a blessed order, dear Lulu and Rain. But of late it has begat trouble. Yet, even in this unholy strife it gives shelter to those who are lost. You both are welcome.

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:14 am

Ok.... so.... we aren't ever going to belong to the Brown Cardigan Clan? Will crying help my chances of gaining admittance?

I'll only send rain to your dry brown landscape if I'm admitted to the club. Is there some kind of initiation we must go thru??

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:18 am

Rain - Theia, the Mother Superior, the Lady Abbess herself has deigned to allow you and Lulu to join the illustrious Order of Knights and Ladies Errant.

You're IN !!!!!

Sit down and have a cup of um COFFEE !!!

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:21 am

Yippee! YaaHooey!

We're in Lulu.

Now, what's the story of the Brown Cardigan??

The Rain cloud is back ordered until we hear the full story lol

theia · Post by **theia** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:29 am

Rain;482235 wrote: Yippee! YaaHooey!

We're in Lulu.

Now, what's the story of the Brown Cardigan??

The Rain cloud is back ordered until we hear the full story lol

Over to you, sister Pammie, storyteller of great repute. Begin the tale. I shall pour the tea :sneaky:

(sweet Pammie...get it right, make me the heroine, or you're out)

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:31 am

Settling down at 11:30 pm with a nice cup of de-caf to hear storytime. Ok.... I'm ready. I hope I can keep my eyes open.

Rain cloud is slowly making it's way toward Australia

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 1:29 am

Pam waves away the tea, snarfs a takeout cup of coffee she's sneaked in, stirs the embers of the fire, and gazes for a moment into the sparks...

Once upon a time, Grasshopper, in a land far far away lived a beautiful goddess type heroine. She was drop dead gorgeous, kind, sweet, smelled of cherries and butter (refrigerated even) was wont to melt in her delectable mouth. She had but one little flaw - her love of the oriental brew. One day, a bunch of Angels on their way back to Heaven after sorting ForumGarden infringements and Adam's consumption of zoider, stopped off in the West Country. Desperate for their caffeine fix, they knocked on Lady Theia's door. She offered them TEA.

Aghast they gazed at her. The most senior, an Archangel named Mik shrieked and rent his tux. Henceforth, O Theia, shalt thou crawl upon thy stylish, rock hard, sixpack, as nekkid as thy Mum bore thee, until thou shalt findeth and putteth on to cover thy shame one brown cardigan, currently belongething unto thy future good Mate, the Venerable Betty Boop. Then and only then shalt thou learneth that coffee is whateth thou shouldest in future offer to they guests. Capeesh. And forthwith, in a puff of logic, the angels vanished.

Theia was flabberghasted and appalled. What hath I doneth? - quoth she, smiting her surgically enhanced bare er lungs. I will hie me unto Inisfail / Katmandu / the Garden Perilous and find me that Brown Cardie, and I will wrest it from the person of the Venerable Betty Boop (whatever that taketh to doeth so) and cover my shame and all will henceforth be sweetness and light, and the foggy foggy dew can just eat its heart out. So tjere/

[Ed..... there's a big bit of the story censored outl here, to avoid a swathe of demerit points.]

Suffice it to say that many very rauncy adventures took place. Dragons were slain. Minstrels were amazed. Pure Knights were corrupted. Forums and the Red Sea were divided. And in the end, Theia came upon Morgan Le Fee, alias Betty Boop. Of that ilk. The skyirl of the bagpipes filled the sylvan glen with eldritch music. The faerie folk ran for their lives. The elephant on the tortoise's back bearing the very earth we all stood on had hysterics and the stars ran backwards. Mistletoe was cut with golden sickles and hung everywhere... and Theia found the BROWN CARDIGAN.

It was in use. Upon the person of the most gorgeous witch ever before seen outside Oz. And as she watched, Betty Boop, for that was the name of the dazzling vision, turned towards her, holding out one palely loitering little hand......

CRAsSh.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrghghgh

theia · Post by **theia** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 1:53 am

AussiePam;482249 wrote: Pam waves away the tea, snarfs a takeout cup of coffee she's sneaked in, stirs the embers of the fire, and gazes for a moment into the sparks...

Once upon a time, Grasshopper, in a land far far away lived a beautiful goddess type heroine. She was drop dead gorgeous, kind, sweet, smelled of cherries and butter (refrigerated even) was wont to melt in her delectable mouth. She had but one little flaw - her love of the oriental brew. One day, a bunch of Angels on their way back to Heaven after sorting ForumGarden infringements and Adam's consumption of zoider, stopped off in the West Country. Desperate for their caffeine fix, they knocked on Lady Theia's door. She offered them TEA.

Aghast they gazed at her. The most senior, an Archangel named Mik shrieked and rent his tux. Henceforth, O Theia, shalt thou crawl upon thy stylish, rock hard, sixpack, as nekkid as thy Mum bore thee, until thou shalt findeth and putteth on to cover thy shame one brown cardigan, currently belongething unto thy future good Mate, the Venerable Betty Boop. Then and only then shalt thou learneth that coffee is whateth thou shouldest in future offer to they guests. Capeesh. And forthwith, in a puff of logic, the angels vanished.

Theia was flabberghasted and appalled. What hath I doneth? - quoth she, smiting her surgically enhanced bare er lungs. I will hie me unto Inisfail / Katmandu / the Garden Perilous and find me that Brown Cardie, and I will wrest it from the person of the Venerable Betty Boop (whatever that taketh to doeth so) and cover my shame and all will henceforth be sweetness and light, and the foggy foggy dew can just eat its heart out. So tjere/

[Ed..... there's a big bit of the story censored outl here, to avoid a swathe of demerit points.]

Suffice it to say that many very rauncy adventures took place. Dragons were slain. Minstrels were amazed. Pure Knights were corrupted. Forums and the Red Sea were divided. And in the end, Theia came upon Morgan Le Fee, alias Betty Boop. Of that ilk. The skyirl of the bagpipes filled the sylvan glen with eldritch music. The faerie folk ran for their lives. The elephant on the tortoise's back bearing the very earth we all stood on had hysterics and the stars ran backwards. Mistletoe was cut with golden sickles and hung everywhere... and Theia found the BROWN CARDIGAN.

It was in use. Upon the person of the most gorgeous witch ever before seen outside Oz. And as she watched, Betty Boop, for that was the name of the dazzling vision, turned towards her, holding out one palely loitering little hand......

CRAsSh.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrghghgh

See!!! I said Pammie could do it!! And with such flourish and sleight of hand...forsooth, notwithstanding, inbetweentimes...

However, I would take issue with the use of nekkid and theia in the same breath. I am unused to such vile and coarse implication. And may I say that it was one minstrel alone who was amazed (he didn't get out much)...and no knights were corrupted in the search for the Brown Cardigan. And I'll have you know, Mik and I may have our differences but, for the most part, we sing from the same hymn sheet.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:11 am

theia;482252 wrote: See!!! I said Pammie could do it!! And with such flourish and sleight of hand...forsooth, notwithstanding, inbetweentimes...

However, I would take issue with the use of nekkid and theia in the same breath. I am unused to such vile and coarse implication. And may I say that it was one minstrel alone who was amazed (he didn't get out much)...and no knights were corrupted in the search for the Brown Cardigan. And I'll have you know, Mik and I may have our differences but, for the most part, we sing from the same hymn sheet.

Corrigenda and Footnotes:

Full and frank disclosure by the alleged author's spokespeople reveals that Theia was not nekkid, merely fig-leaf challenged. This was a typographic error.

The single minstrel alluded to was in fact in a long term gay relationship and denies categorically that he was in any way amazed. Bemused, was what he said, he said. This was a reporting error.

King Arthur has stated that his Knights are without exception much too busy rescuing maidens from dragons to have been available for corruption. The author unreservedly apologises for any unintentional angst caused and has agreed to muck out the stables in full discharge of this alleged slight.

The Revered Company of Hymn Sheet Publishers (RCHSP) are insisting that it be formally noted that their hymn sheets - used by humans and angels alike - are available at a very reasonable price direct from the Order of the Blessed Brown Cardigan or from any well stocked FG office in a town near you.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:14 am

AussiePam;482249 wrote: Pam waves away the tea, snarfs a takeout cup of coffee she's sneaked in, stirs the embers of the fire, and gazes for a moment into the sparks...

Once upon a time, Grasshopper, in a land far far away lived a beautiful goddess type heroine. She was drop dead gorgeous, kind, sweet, smelled of cherries and butter (refrigerated even) was wont to melt in her delectable mouth. She had but one little flaw - her love of the oriental brew. One day, a bunch of Angels on their way back to Heaven after sorting ForumGarden infringements and Adam's consumption of zoider, stopped off in the West Country. Desperate for their caffeine fix, they knocked on Lady Theia's door. She offered them TEA.

Aghast they gazed at her. The most senior, an Archangel named Mik shrieked and rent his tux. Henceforth, O Theia, shalt thou crawl upon thy stylish, rock hard, sixpack, as nekkid as thy Mum bore thee, until thou shalt findeth and putteth on to cover thy shame one brown cardigan, currently belongething unto thy future good Mate, the Venerable Betty Boop. Then and only then shalt thou learneth that coffee is whateth thou shouldest in future offer to they guests. Capeesh. And forthwith, in a puff of logic, the angels vanished.

Theia was flabberghasted and appalled. What hath I doneth? - quoth she, smiting her surgically enhanced bare er lungs. I will hie me unto Inisfail / Katmandu / the Garden Perilous and find me that Brown Cardie, and I will wrest it from the person of the Venerable Betty Boop (whatever that taketh to doeth so) and cover my shame and all will henceforth be sweetness and light, and the foggy foggy dew can just eat its heart out. So tjere/

[Ed..... there's a big bit of the story censored outl here, to avoid a swathe of demerit points.]

Suffice it to say that many very rauncy adventures took place. Dragons were slain. Minstrels were amazed. Pure Knights were corrupted. Forums and the Red Sea were divided. And in the end, Theia came upon Morgan Le Fee, alias Betty Boop. Of that ilk. The skyirl of the bagpipes filled the sylvan glen with eldritch music. The faerie folk ran for their lives. The elephant on the tortoise's back bearing the very earth we all stood on had hysterics and the stars ran backwards. Mistletoe was cut with golden sickles and hung everywhere... and Theia found the BROWN CARDIGAN.

It was in use. Upon the person of the most gorgeous witch ever before seen outside Oz. And as she watched, Betty Boop, for that was the name of the dazzling vision, turned towards her, holding out one palely loitering little hand......

CRAsSh.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrghghgh

:yh_worshp :yh_rotfl

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:15 am

AussiePam;482280 wrote:

Corrigenda and Footnotes:

Full and frank disclosure by the alleged author's spokespeople reveals that Theia was not nekkid, merely fig-leaf challenged. This was a typographic error.

The single minstrel alluded to was in fact in a long term gay relationship and denies categorically that he was in any way amazed. Bemused, was what he said, he said. This was a reporting error.

King Arthur has stated that his Knights are without exception much too busy rescuing maidens from dragons to have been available for corruption. The author unreservedly apologises for any unintentional angst caused and has agreed to muck out the stables in full discharge of this alleged slight.

The Revered Company of Hymn Sheet Publishers (RCHSP) are insisting that it be formally noted that their hymn sheets - used by humans and angels alike - are available at a very reasonable price direct from the Order of the Blessed Brown Cardigan or from any well stocked FG office in a town near you.

Brilliant! :yh_rotfl

theia · Post by **theia** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:28 am

Betty Boop;482282 wrote: Brilliant! :yh_rotfl

And how!!!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:37 am

*standing in line to buy a copy*

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 8:46 am

Rain, can you knit? I'll get yarn and YOU can get busy & put out those fires in Aussieland!

(This's soooo exciting!) :wah:

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 1:30 pm

Rain cloud is just about there now. The next big wind should bring the relief promised.

Lulu, can it be crocheted instead?

I'm a little confused, but it'll all fall into place with yet another cup of coffee. Now, where is my bag of brown yarn??

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 1:33 pm

I have strange powers. Kneel before me, you lot!!! I ordered Rain - in some other thread - to get herself over here pronto. And - on cue - the heavens opened and we got a mega storm which included thunder, lightning, high winds and yes - water from the sky!!!! And a whole bunch of it. Of course this is in Sydney, which is on the coast, and has been known in living memory to get rain.. RAIN - travel inland please, and weeeeeep or whatever over the parched countryside, extinguish fires, make the plants grow again, green everything... and whileth thou art ateth it,

bringeth unto ME the Brown Cardigan!!!

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:09 pm

Ah, so you got my storm. Good. It will bounce around and go as far as it can. I'm crocheting as fast as I can........

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Mon Dec 11, 2006 2:33 pm

*seeing the brown yarn supply running low*