Who Is Your Friend?

polycarp · Post by **polycarp** » Tue Mar 29, 2005 4:29 am

The Greek Philosopher Aristotle once wrote "Without friends, no one will choose to live, though he had all other goods". This is no doubt true as the importance of friends cannot be overemphasized. However, the mind bogging question is "Who is Your Friend?" Is it the person you laugh with everyday or he that is always willing to lend you money? Who is your Friend? Opinions Please.

polycarp · Post by **polycarp** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:18 am

BigScaryMonster wrote: Well, I've always wondered this. Here are a few things I find requisite in a friend.

They must consider you an equal. If they think they are better than you, you're nothing more than a goon. A true friend is someone who considers you to be their equal, someone who they value as much as themself.

They must be loyal to you. Friends need to have some sort of loyalty to each other. I've lost many "friends" when they've screwed me over for a girl, or something like that. It's why I came up with "The guy code". Anyway, a friend must in some way have an obligation to remain by your side even when it would seem stupid to do so. This means still being your friend when you don't have as much money, if you're not pretty anymore, if you haven't been as good to them as you should have.

They must have some respect for you. When we think about those who we consider to be our best friends, we respect them in some way. Maybe for their intelligence, or their wit, or something about them that we really respect. There's a guy I know at my church who has become so confident in his own wisdom that he disregards anything I say. If I mention a little fact, even though I know it to be true, he publicly expresses his disagreement, to the point that he becomes a rude jerk. If I try to say something, he often interrupts me, and tries to "correct" me if I don't act according to his standards. His conduct toward me suggests that he in no way considers me a friend, and since I despise the way he treats me and other people, I don't consider him one.

I don't know if this is my full criteria, but these are definitely required for someone I want to be my friend.

I like your idea of a friend. It makes sense!

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:40 am

Friends come in many shapes and sizes. Best friends all the way to aquaintances. But the companions of choice will always be those who love you in spite of yourself. And you to them. Friends are those names who walk with you for a short time or a long time. But they are always unforgettable. They can be good or they can be bad. But in one way or another, they will have always added to your life by sharing a little of theirs with you. And visa versa. Friends are not measured by how many you have in good times, but in the few who you have in the bad. Those are what constitutes what friendship means.

polycarp · Post by **polycarp** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 4:09 am

Raven wrote: Friends come in many shapes and sizes. Best friends all the way to aquaintances. But the companions of choice will always be those who love you in spite of yourself. And you to them. Friends are those names who walk with you for a short time or a long time. But they are always unforgettable. They can be good or they can be bad. But in one way or another, they will have always added to your life by sharing a little of theirs with you. And visa versa. Friends are not measured by how many you have in good times, but in the few who you have in the bad. Those are what constitutes what friendship means.
Interesting

.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 4:30 am

I just think friends are like family you're not related to. :yh_hugs

polycarp · Post by **polycarp** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 6:26 am

Hello Raven, in your opinion, do friends like that come one's way easily?

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 9:36 am

sometimes. they pop up in the strangest places. usually when you least expect them.

polycarp · Post by **polycarp** » Thu Mar 31, 2005 10:12 am

I agree with you Raven, as a matter of fact my best and most trusted friend today is someone I met on the internet. The friendship grew and grew to a point that we became like a family. There's nothing important about me that she doesn't know and she has helped shaped my life with good advice in so many ways. It still baffles me that our opinions could be so agreable, because we've never disagreed about any issue so far.

Raven · Post by **Raven** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:06 am

Yep. I married mine. And one of my friends, (another internet buddy) came to our wedding. (from croatia) The one thing that I DIDNT expect from a computer, was the wealth of loved ones that sprung from it! :-6

polycarp · Post by **polycarp** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 3:12 am

Raven wrote: Yep. I married mine. And one of my friends, (another internet buddy) came to our wedding. (from croatia) The one thing that I DIDNT expect from a computer, was the wealth of loved ones that sprung from it! :-6

How sweet and interesting. Yours must be a happy and fulfilling married life having married your best friend. Someone once said that what really sustains a marriage is not the initial love (which vanishes with time) but the friendship which is eternal.

I am equally thinking of visiting my e-pal but not right now as i am very busy with my postgraduate research, but when I have less to do I'll definately pay her a visit and see which way it will take.

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:08 pm

hmmmm on a good day, my dog, my cat and perhaps my kids... Friends huh, I have seen most of mine disappear since the bitter divorce sooooooooooooooooooooo feel very unqualified to answer this question at this time

hehehehehe

Post by **kensloft** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:36 pm

Minnie wrote: Hi All

I think in life you have many different kinds of friends, for me the best type are the ones where you feel you can be yourself, who accept you and all the little oddities you may have and still love you. The ones with whom you feel you feel at home with.

I'm not sure I have explained clearly what I mean, but I'm sure you'll get the jist of it.

Minnie xx
Well stated and welcome to the garden, minnie. Look forward to seeing more of you in the garden.

Post by **kensloft** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:39 pm

A friend is someone that sticks with you through thick and thin. Loves you for who you are. Loves you for who you want to be. And helps you when you most need it.

lime-sterman · Post by **lime-sterman** » Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:50 pm

kensloft wrote: A friend is someone that sticks with you through thick and thin. Loves you for who you are. Loves you for who you want to be. And helps you when you most need it.

On the nail for me Kensloft!

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:04 am

a friend is someone who sings the words to the tune in your heart when you have forgotten them

Post by **kensloft** » Sat Apr 02, 2005 3:47 pm

buttercup wrote: a friend is someone who sings the words to the tune in your heart when you have forgotten them
Nice one, buttercup.

jahamaa · Post by **jahamaa** » Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:52 pm

Forgive a dissenting opinion.

I think it has been said that a person is lucky to find one friend in a lifetime.

I agree.

One can have many aquaintances and be friendly with them but a true friend is rare and I think many people go through life without one, in fact I think most people do.

And I think true friendship is different than just sharing the same likes and dislikes and having fun in each others company.

True friendship needs a deep connection that defies description.

A lot like a true marriage, a state that I also think is rarer than anyone would like to admit.

polycarp · Post by **polycarp** » Mon Apr 04, 2005 2:00 am

buttercup wrote: a friend is someone who sings the words to the tune in your heart when you have forgotten them
I love the way you put it Buttercup.