Be honest..............

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:14 pm

Do you say what is expected of you to say as a forum member or :sneaky: if you cant.

Do you avoid the thread?

In honesty there have been some threads i just have to avoid because if i was completely honest someone would take offence & its just not worth the outcry.

If thats true of you, what does that say about you? or me come to think about it

Please think about it before answering

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:20 pm

Since I'm expected to disagree with everyone but spot then.... I guess I usually do say what is expected. :wah:

It's not planned that way, despite what some think.

I do on occasion cancel a reply but it's just a matter of whether it's worth the fight or not and how much I care about the subject.

I feel bad if I say something likely to stir people up and don't have time to hang around to explain it.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:38 pm

Life's too short to spend it in ugly threads.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:41 pm

AussiePam;488655 wrote: Life's too short to spend it in ugly threads.

Sometimes a thread is not ugly Pam, its often just a simple question, you could answer the question simply but then you look at the possible feedback, like PC

This then leads to - well i better not say anything, see where im going?

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:51 pm

I think we tend to expect certain types of responses from certain people. Not negative..but we just know other members well enough to know how they will react to a certain thread or subject.

I have , of late, tried to avoid controversy. Has not always worked.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:02 pm

I do not indulge in certain forums anymore. I never liked the high school stab you behind the back thing. I'm 51 and just don't give a **** about that stuff anymore.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:04 pm

Marie5656;488668 wrote: I think we tend to expect certain types of responses from certain people. Not negative..but we just know other members well enough to know how they will react to a certain thread or subject.

I have , of late, tried to avoid controversy. Has not always worked.

I like when we get surprised though.

YZGI and I were swapping puns in a Jesus thread and when Ted showed up we both thought we were gonna get it. But he laughed. :-6

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:05 pm

mrsK;488689 wrote: I say what is on my mind at the time,sometimes it comes out right,

sometimes not:-5

Sometimes what is acceptable here in Australia is not acceptable in other

places,that's why I find it hard to really get into a conversation.

I would just hate to offend someone unintentionally:-6

Exactly what i mean Mrs K

sometimes i want to say something but fear it will come out all wrong depending on the country

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:05 pm

mrsK;488689 wrote:

I would just hate to offend someone unintentionally:-6

I know

I try to be intentional about it whenever it happens. :wah:

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:14 pm

There are many reasons to avoid a thread, not the least of which is that it's of no interest. There are deliberately provocative threads and threads begun by people with obvious agendas.

I'll leave those alone, thanks. I'd like to think I can choose words carefully enough to avoid unintentional offense.

"Do you say what is expected of you to say as a forum member?" I'm not sure what that means...not at all.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:23 pm

buttercup;488659 wrote: Sometimes a thread is not ugly Pam, i

Grin, if it's not ugly, there's no problem.

If it is ugly, it has to be worth contributing to. I guess there are some ugly threads where one just hasta stand up and say something. Or one's silence could be construed as agreement.

But mostly, ugly is just plain ugly. Easy to recognise. Often a thread starts nicely and someone turns it ugly... Or the other way. Like the recent spate of troll-started threads. They started ugly. Sure, one or two good people has turned some of the ugliness around.. but mostly the content has been fully dealt before, and why rehash the same old same old, when the sun is shining or you can be seeing a good movie with your friends???

However, I do appreciate that this is my personal view, and that there are people in here who thrive on/in ugly threads. That's their free choice.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:25 pm

i would rather do the light hearted threads. but if someone pms me and asked point blank what i think , i will tell you what i think, honestly.

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:27 pm

Lulu2;488711 wrote: There are many reasons to avoid a thread, not the least of which is that it's of no interest. There are deliberately provocative threads and threads begun by people with obvious agendas.

I'll leave those alone, thanks. I'd like to think I can choose words carefully enough to avoid unintentional offense.

"Do you say what is expected of you to say as a forum member?" I'm not sure what that means...not at all.

Well as a forum member especially since we have had a few issues lately, im thinking maybe more now than ever we are all aware of how things can be read wrong (whatever country you are in) so are especially concious of how we post, im always as far as possible a peacekeeper but now & then a thread comes up where i think i want to say something that the OP might not have considered as a possibility & yet if i do this, it initself will be seen as contriversial & might cause problems, its just a thought & not malicious but if you dont agree with it, it is :-3 Do you see it from that angle Lulu?

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:30 pm

AussiePam;488720 wrote: Grin, if it's not ugly, there's no problem.

If it is ugly, it has to be worth contributing to. I guess there are some ugly threads where one just hasta stand up and say something. Or one's silence could be construed as agreement.

But mostly, ugly is just plain ugly. Easy to recognise. Often a thread starts nicely and someone turns it ugly... Or the other way. Like the recent spate of troll-started threads. They started ugly. Sure, one or two good people has turned some of the ugliness around.. but mostly the content has been fully dealt before, and why rehash the same old same old, when the sun is shining or you can be seeing a good movie with your friends???

However, I do appreciate that this is my personal view, and that there are people in here who thrive on/in ugly threads. That's their free choice.

We seem to get rid of the trolls first day tho dont we

Dont know why they bother actually, not like we havent seen them before :rolleyes:

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:32 pm

I like the challenge of taking a thread with wacky statements and finding something to discuss in it.

I also like the challenge of trying to get an argument that turns personal back to a proper debate again. Usually once it's gone it's gone.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:50 pm

To be honest, Diuretic...

I noticed your overuse of the word however, but didn't want to say anything about it.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:06 pm

all i noticed was there was a hot , sexy aussie posting.....:sneaky: he can write however he pleases.....:wah:

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:12 pm

koan;488767 wrote: To be honest, Diuretic...

I noticed your overuse of the word however, but didn't want to say anything about it.

um, in context of the OP... did no one see the humour of this? :-3

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:19 pm

koan;488789 wrote: um, in context of the OP... did no one see the humour of this? :-3

ummmm...yea, why weren'tyou honest ........:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:35 pm

I tend to read a thread all the way through, see where it is going...and what is said...if I feel like I can comment, I do....there are MANY threads that I just don't comment. I wanted very badly to comment to the "why Americans are so unpopular"...wanted to make a light comment "I thought I was popular...no one likes me??"...but figured it would be taken the wrong way, so I just stay quiet.

I am very careful of what I say, don't like confrontation, enjoy fun conversation. If I want to argue, can call up the ex for that!! I enjoy nice walks in the garden!

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:40 pm

I think generally, people are overly sensitive but not always at the proper time. There was once a time when one could presume they were not being insulted, that what was said was just a poor choice of words. Now the kneejerk reaction seems to be "You offended me!! Or that's insensitive!!" as if we think people upset us deliberately. I am speaking of the general whole, not just about online forums. If I'm going to contribute, I will say pretty much what I want to (or else why bother) but I don't say half what I am thinking sometimes. I may have an opinion in say,a political thread but have not enough knowledge of the issue to make it worth anyone's time to read. There have been threads where I want or need to comment but I know someone will be a jerk about it so I don't bother because after all, it's just a forum, no one knows me or cares beyond a certain degree what I may think about anything and at the end of the day, they've made me feel the same about them. I have long learned that forum friendships are predominantly phony or last only as long as your opinion is popular and one can be blackballed at any given time.

There are times when it is best to temper one's opinion but overall, I would prefer someone who tells it like it is over someone who is trying to be everyone's friend by agreeing with all sides.

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 11:44 pm

Diuretic;488812 wrote:

I only noticed it myself when I paused and re-read it koan and then I thought, "whatever"...............

This is classic Diuretic !!!! :sneaky:

pantsonfire321@aol.com · Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:06 am

buttercup;488638 wrote: Do you say what is expected of you to say as a forum member or :sneaky: if you cant.

Do you avoid the thread?

In honesty there have been some threads i just have to avoid because if i was completely honest someone would take offence & its just not worth the outcry.

If thats true of you, what does that say about you? or me come to think about it

Please think about it before answering

I can't stand public sucking up so i try to keep away from those sort of threads (not always easy) if i have something to say i prefer to pm someone in private and send them a hug or ask how they feel . In general if i have something to say i just say it . I can't stand hypocrites - i prefer honesty - it makes life simple .

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:24 am

Would I lie to you? :yh_whistl

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:01 am

Its been my experience that if you say whats on your mind, people will disown you, so choose your battles well and be prepared for the consequences.

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:45 am

i avoid the thread.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:51 am

Nomad;488890 wrote: Its been my experience that if you say whats on your mind, people will disown you, so choose your battles well and be prepared for the consequences.

DITTO

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:02 am

I've been dying to respond to this thread since first thing this morning...in fact I've written several posts and then deleted them. I'm muddled about it all...

I know that sometimes I can read a thread and I can feel strongly about its content...but I'm beginning to know myself enough to accept that what I might write at this moment will change, in a day, in an hour, in a moment...so often I don't respond. But if I carry this to its natural conclusion, I'll never say anything

So is being honest a constant or just a momentary thing? Or am I merely fickle?

(Actually, ignore the above...it's all changed :-5 )

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:06 am

theia;488929 wrote: I've been dying to respond to this thread since first thing this morning...in fact I've written several posts and then deleted them. I'm muddled about it all...

I know that sometimes I can read a thread and I can feel strongly about its content...but I'm beginning to know myself enough to accept that what I might write at this moment will change, in a day, in an hour, in a moment...so often I don't respond. But if I carry this to its natural conclusion, I'll never say anything

So is being honest a constant or just a momentary thing? Or am I merely fickle?

(Actually, ignore the above...it's all changed :-5 )

Feeling strongly about constant momentary conclusional things is hard Thiea.

Anyone that telly you differently isnt being honest.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:08 am

Nomad;488890 wrote: Its been my experience that if you say whats on your mind, people will disown you, so choose your battles well and be prepared for the consequences.

This is very true. I do not always respond to certain threads, because of past experiences of the backlash you will receive. I do pick and choose which to comment on, and at my discretion will cease posting on specific threads if IMO it has gone to far.

In all honesty, I think it is better concerning this lately. But I will still be cautious where I post on the serious topics. I believe everyone's opinions are valid and of equal worth. I expect to be treated that way on a thread, and would also want someone to bring that to my attention if I have been unfair in response to them.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:08 am

Nomad;488890 wrote: Its been my experience that if you say whats on your mind, people will disown you, so choose your battles well and be prepared for the consequences.
Yup yup yup! That's my cyber-brother that said that bit o' wisdom.

BTW, nobody kiss up to me, okay? If I screw up, I want ya'll to tell me, straight up. Don't drop hints because I'm kinda thick that way.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:12 am

Accountable;488936 wrote: Yup yup yup! That's my cyber-brother that said that bit o' wisdom.

BTW, nobody kiss up to me, okay? If I screw up, I want ya'll to tell me, straight up. Don't drop hints because I'm kinda thick that way.

*kiss, kiss, kiss*

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:13 am

Nomad;488933 wrote: Feeling strongly about constant momentary conclusional things is hard Thiea.

Anyone that telly you differently isnt being honest.

Great, thanks! So that means I've been lied to all my life...

So, I'm off to town to search out another box of Cremes Parisiennes for Christmas, to replace the box my granddaughter and I scoffed last night (well, if I'm honest, not quite all...we left all the yellow ones because they were pants)

Lied to all my life...can't believe it...

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:14 am

WonderWendy3;488805 wrote: I tend to read a thread all the way through, see where it is going...and what is said...if I feel like I can comment, I do....there are MANY threads that I just don't comment. I wanted very badly to comment to the "why Americans are so unpopular"...wanted to make a light comment "I thought I was popular...no one likes me??"...but figured it would be taken the wrong way, so I just stay quiet.
I would've welcomed the fresh air! :-6

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:16 am

theia;488943 wrote: Great, thanks! So that means I've been lied to all my life...

So, I'm off to town to search out another box of Cremes Parisiennes for Christmas, to replace the box my granddaughter and I scoffed last night (well, if I'm honest, not quite all...we left all the yellow ones because they were pants)

Lied to all my life...can't believe it...

Have you sent them to her? :p

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:16 am

chonsigirl;488941 wrote: *kiss, kiss, kiss*

:)
What's that supposed to mean??

:-6 :-4

theia · Post by **theia** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:18 am

Betty Boop;488946 wrote: Have you sent them to her? :p

Drole, Betty, very drole (where are drole's hats?)

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:20 am

chonsigirl;488935 wrote: This is very true. I do not always respond to certain threads, because of past experiences of the backlash you will receive. I do pick and choose which to comment on, and at my discretion will cease posting on specific threads if IMO it has gone to far.

In all honesty, I think it is better concerning this lately. But I will still be cautious where I post on the serious topics. I believe everyone's opinions are valid and of equal worth. I expect to be treated that way on a thread, and would also want someone to bring that to my attention if I have been unfair in response to them.

Really ?

Then what was that blatantly hostile dust bunny comment about ?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:21 am

theia;488949 wrote: Drole, Betty, very drole (where are drole's hats?)

:p :wah: I can just see your face now!

Instead of going to buy more chocs you don't like, you should be jumping in that completely opposite to mine vehicle of yours, and visiting me :driving: