How long before sex?

camelot · Post by **camelot** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 2:52 pm

Hi it's me again! You probably guessed that I've had another online dating dilemma. In my last thread the guy tried to initiate sex in the living room on the first date, didn't get it, and vanished. I still haven't heard from him.

So I met another guy online, this guy seemed extremely down to earth and we had tons in common so it seemed worth persuing. Best of all he seemed totally into me, he sent e-mails up to five time a day, all with red roses in the background or a cute puppy with a "thinking of you" caption, and he complimented me on everything! I would have almost thought it was a sure thing.

We've had a total of 5 dates, two of which were this past Saturday and Sunday. He's made sexual comments to me from the very first date but I've learned to live with those, because ALL men make sexual remarks...it's just the way they are. He's made a lot of comments specifically about my breast size on every date, and several other comments too. On our date last night we finally started discussing sex and the possibility of us becoming sexually active. I explained that I absolutely don't want to get pregnant so until I could get on birth control I would want to use a condom. I also noticed that he's still active on another dating site (besides the one we met on) so I sort of hinted around that I would want us to be in a relationship if we started having sex.

Anyway, I haven't heard from him since. I sent him a good morning message this morning and I received 3 forwarded jokes from him this afternoon but no response to the message, which is totally not like him. Unless he's totally dishonest, he led me to believe that he's not very experienced in dating and hasn't dated much (he's 43) and that he didn't date at all until he got his computer and started meeting people online. He also admitted that he still lives with his mother. He really seemed like someone that would be understanding, not someone that would vashish after the first discussion about sex. Am I being too picky about sex (considering this has happened twice now in a short period time) or has Mr. Right just not came along yet?

acousticide · Post by **acousticide** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:09 pm

Like the old saying goes, ya gotta kiss a lot of toads to find a prince.

The problem with the entire ONLINE thing is that you are swept up by words without context or visual or audible clues. I do not think that too many men would be able to not make at least some double entendres about sex. You tell them up front about that you are not going to rush into any sexual relationship too quickly, but they all think that they may be the one to sweep you off of your feet. As for the repeated comments about your breast size, thats a bit tacky. If you are a church going person, try going to singles nites at a large church?

Dont give up, remember MR Right for you may be everybody elses Mr Wrong.

How big are they anyway?

Sorry, i couldt resist.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:11 pm

camelot;509396 wrote: Hi it's me again! You probably guessed that I've had another online dating dilemma. In my last thread the guy tried to initiate sex in the living room on the first date, didn't get it, and vanished. I still haven't heard from him.

So I met another guy online, this guy seemed extremely down to earth and we had tons in common so it seemed worth persuing. Best of all he seemed totally into me, he sent e-mails up to five time a day, all with red roses in the background or a cute puppy with a "thinking of you" caption, and he complimented me on everything! I would have almost thought it was a sure thing.

We've had a total of 5 dates, two of which were this past Saturday and Sunday. He's made sexual comments to me from the very first date but I've learned to live with those, because ALL men make sexual remarks...it's just the way they are. He's made a lot of comments specifically about my breast size on every date, and several other comments too. On our date last night we finally started discussing sex and the possibility of us becoming sexually active. I explained that I absolutely don't want to get pregnant so until I could get on birth control I would want to use a condom. I also noticed that he's still active on another dating site (besides the one we met on) so I sort of hinted around that I would want us to be in a relationship if we started having sex.

Anyway, I haven't heard from him since. I sent him a good morning message this morning and I received 3 forwarded jokes from him this afternoon but no response to the message, which is totally not like him. Unless he's totally dishonest, he led me to believe that he's not very experienced in dating and hasn't dated much (he's 43) and that he didn't date at all until he got his computer and started meeting people online. He also admitted that he still lives with his mother. He really seemed like someone that would be understanding, not someone that would vashish after the first discussion about sex. Am I being too picky about sex (considering this has happened twice now in a short period time) or has Mr. Right just not came along yet?
I don't think this is generally true, certainly on early dates, although I haven't dated many guys....err...I mean ANY guys

Call it a hunch, but I reckon this guys only interested in the main course

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:43 pm

I think anything under an hour is way too soon. Unless of course you have paid a hefty sum.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:52 pm

YZGI;509437 wrote: I think anything under an hour is way too soon. Unless of course you have paid a hefty sum.

I agree. If you pay anything goes. Otherwise I think a day and a half is long enough.

camelot · Post by **camelot** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:03 pm

You're right about not wanting to jump him after the second date. Just before all of this happened I was actually going to post and ask if there's any chance of a sucessful relationship with no physical attraction. I kept thinking that it would be foolish to not even give it a chance since we have so many things in common, but there really is no sexual attraction at all.

It's not that early sex is against my morals, it's just that I'm not at all comfortable with being that intimate with someone that I hardly know, even if there is a sexual attraction. I was completely sexually attracted to the chiropractor at the time and we had even known each other quite a while, but still when things got intimate I was a nervous wreck and could hardly enjoy it. The only man I've been comfortable with from the start was the married man, I guess it's because I knew right off that nothing long term would ever come from it and it didn't really matter if it was great or not.

I finally heard from the guy in question a few minutes ago and he seemed normal, but something had to have happened for it to have taken him so long to write. Usually he writes the second he walks through the door after our dates. Who knows...I'll just wait and see what happens. By the way, since there's no physical attraction should I let it go?

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:07 pm

Uncle Kram;509409 wrote: I don't think this is generally true, certainly on early dates, although I haven't dated many guys....err...I mean ANY guys

Call it a hunch, but I reckon this guys only interested in the main course

freudian slip busted:D

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:09 pm

Nomad;509457 wrote: freudian slip busted:D

:yh_rotfl

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:12 pm

Uncle Kram;509409 wrote: I don't think this is generally true, certainly on early dates,

Absolutely...How distasteful it is to talk about sex(unless initiated by the woman of course) during the first few weeks of dating...sounds like to me he's just after one thing. I think it's apparently obvious because once you have discussed it with him, he hasn't been around...

Anyone who likes to talk about sex are usually only interested in sex...don't they have hobbies for Christs sake?

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:25 pm

"how long before sex?"

depends on the date.

could be after dinner and a movie

or

3 beers.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:33 pm

flopstock;509444 wrote: It is my considered opinion that if you don't want to jump him by the end of the second date, he's not the man for you. Sex may not be everything in a relationship, but if he can't get you all hot and bothered at the beginning, god help him five years into a marriage.

I'm not saying you have to have sex with him right away, but I would think it would be a better sign if you found yourself having to control you -rather then him.

Sigh......... I agree with Floppy (again!)

There's got to be a balance of everything. You've got to want him and he's got to want you. But on the same tack you have to be comfortable in his presence at all times and if you're not comfortable with the sexual remarks then he's not for you.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:33 pm

Wolverine;509468 wrote: "how long before sex?"

depends on the date.

could be after dinner and a movie

or

3 beers.

Or 10 in some cases!!:wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:38 pm

Drop this loser. He wants sex. Sure all guys do and all women do too but are you making comments about his penis size every date? No? Why? Could it be because that would be tacky? Then why are you putting up with that treatment yourself? I think you need to sort yourself out and find out what you really want in a man and what you're willing to settle for. You get what you settle for. And if you ask me, then no, you haven't known this guy long enough to be having sex with him. Make him prove his worth to you. Otherwise you're just getting screwed again. Sorry if that's too blunt but that's the best way I can put it to you.

Wolverine · Post by **Wolverine** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:46 pm

Betty Boop;509480 wrote: Or 10 in some cases!!:wah:

if you can't get up the nerve to get nekkid after 3, go home. if it takes 10 to make him purdy, just give up.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:48 am

Well adjusted, psychologically sound males... DO NOT discuss sex from the moment they meet you. If someone tried to discuss my breasts at any meeting, I would laugh in their face, excuse myself, and leave. Also, at 43 he lives with his MOTHER?? Oh Brother!!

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:55 am

camelot;509396 wrote: Hi it's me again! You probably guessed that I've had another online dating dilemma. In my last thread the guy tried to initiate sex in the living room on the first date, didn't get it, and vanished. I still haven't heard from him.

So I met another guy online, this guy seemed extremely down to earth and we had tons in common so it seemed worth persuing. Best of all he seemed totally into me, he sent e-mails up to five time a day, all with red roses in the background or a cute puppy with a "thinking of you" caption, and he complimented me on everything! I would have almost thought it was a sure thing.

We've had a total of 5 dates, two of which were this past Saturday and Sunday. He's made sexual comments to me from the very first date but I've learned to live with those, because ALL men make sexual remarks...it's just the way they are. He's made a lot of comments specifically about my breast size on every date, and several other comments too. On our date last night we finally started discussing sex and the possibility of us becoming sexually active. I explained that I absolutely don't want to get pregnant so until I could get on birth control I would want to use a condom. I also noticed that he's still active on another dating site (besides the one we met on) so I sort of hinted around that I would want us to be in a relationship if we started having sex.

Anyway, I haven't heard from him since. I sent him a good morning message this morning and I received 3 forwarded jokes from him this afternoon but no response to the message, which is totally not like him. Unless he's totally dishonest, he led me to believe that he's not very experienced in dating and hasn't dated much (he's 43) and that he didn't date at all until he got his computer and started meeting people online. He also admitted that he still lives with his mother. He really seemed like someone that would be understanding, not someone that would vashish after the first discussion about sex. Am I being too picky about sex (considering this has happened twice now in a short period time) or has Mr. Right just not came along yet?

Listen, I have a big top and guys I went out with did not comment on it. They treated me like a lady. Sex is not everything and you should use a condom, you do not want to catch a deseise. I believe if this guy did not want to make a commentment it's because he is a player. So, wait for your prince charming, he will come along when your not expecting him too. tazz:)

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:02 am

Personally i wouldent but thats me, if you do - CONDOM

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 5:43 am

camelot;509396 wrote: Hi it's me again! You probably guessed that I've had another online dating dilemma. In my last thread the guy tried to initiate sex in the living room on the first date, didn't get it, and vanished. I still haven't heard from him.

Well, there you are... there're a few people like that about...

camelot;509396 wrote: So I met another guy online,

(snip)

We've had a total of 5 dates, two of which were this past Saturday and Sunday. He's made sexual comments to me from the very first date but I've learned to live with those, because ALL men make sexual remarks...it's just the way they are. He's made a lot of comments specifically about my breast size on every date, and several other comments too.

Flippin' eck. that doesn't sound at all good, where are you finding these people?

camelot;509396 wrote: On our date last night we finally started discussing sex and the possibility of us becoming sexually active. I explained that I absolutely don't want to get pregnant so until I could get on birth control I would want to use a condom. I also noticed that he's still active on another dating site (besides the one we met on) so I sort of hinted around that I would want us to be in a relationship if we started having sex.

Anyway, I haven't heard from him since.

Well! Another one! Get the picture?

camelot;509396 wrote: Unless he's totally dishonest, he led me to believe that he's not very experienced in dating and hasn't dated much (he's 43) and that he didn't date at all until he got his computer and started meeting people online. He also admitted that he still lives with his mother. He really seemed like someone that would be understanding, not someone that would vashish after the first discussion about sex. Am I being too picky about sex (considering this has happened twice now in a short period time) or has Mr. Right just not came along yet?

"Mr. Right has just not came along yet".

How old are you? That's a quite rude question, for which I apologise, and will understand if you don't answer!

Edit: I'd like to take issue with your comment "He's made sexual comments to me from the very first date but I've learned to live with those, because ALL men make sexual remarks...it's just the way they are". It's wrong.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:57 am

:wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 8:34 am

Keith W;509967 wrote: If his name is billy, then don't be silly, do as buttercup says and put a condom on his willy!

:yh_clap Very FUNNY!! :yh_rotfl

And good advice...plain and simple and to the point..Drop him like a hot potato...Seriously if you have been able to be around him 5 different times and don't find yourself ripping your clothes off or wanting to...I'd say there is a problem, not that you should do that...trying to get the attraction factor here...ALL men do NOT talk about SEX ...just PIGS!! and trust ME, I KNOW PIGS!!!

Just give everything time, Prince Charming is out there and he will wait as long as you want and want a relationship and hopefully not living with mom...

camelot · Post by **camelot** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:52 pm

Just give everything time, Prince Charming is out there and he will wait as long as you want and want a relationship and hopefully not living with mom...

You can say that again! He has a good job and makes good money so there has to be a psycological reason that he's still living with mom at his age, he even admits it's strange but he didn't give a reason why he's still doing it. He could easily afford an apartment. Aside from the living with mom issue I have to wonder why he never dated until a few years ago when he got a computer?

I'm giving up on online dating, that's just something that isn't going to happen for me. Men that are worth having don't have to go online to look for dates (my apologies to anyone here that does that :-3 )

My biggest problem is that I work from home so I don't go out anywhere to meet people, and even if I did I live in a small town where there's NOTHING to do. This has to be the worst town for dating in history. I do see nice looking men when I'm out shopping but they all have women on their arms. It's really difficult to meet people around here, and very discouraging.

camelot · Post by **camelot** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:53 pm

camelot;510828 wrote: Just give everything time, Prince Charming is out there and he will wait as long as you want and want a relationship and hopefully not living with mom...

You can say that again! He has a good job and makes good money so there has to be a psycological reason that he's still living with mom at his age, he even admits it's strange but he didn't give a reason why he's still doing it. He could easily afford an apartment. Aside from the living with mom issue I have to wonder why he never dated until a few years ago when he got a computer?

I'm giving up on online dating, that's just something that isn't going to happen for me. Men that are worth having don't have to go online to look for dates (my apologies to anyone here that does that :-3 )

My biggest problem is that I work from home so I don't go out anywhere to meet people, and even if I did I live in a small town where there's NOTHING to do. This has to be the worst town for dating in history. I do see nice looking men when I'm out shopping but they all have women on their arms. It's really difficult to meet people around here, and very discouraging.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:56 pm

Did you just quote yourself then compliment yourself on your quote cammy ?

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Tue Jan 09, 2007 10:24 pm

43-and not learned how too treat a woman yet(aka;immature remarks about your breasts.

Lives with mom? ..what can't hold a job and /or responsible enough too live on his own?Perhaps looking for a sugar momma too take care of him.

Does not call you after you try too have mature talk with him about your future sex?

I Read this whole thread...........THREE TIMES!

I found absolutely nothing for you in this guy.

wanna know where he is when he is NOT talking too you.???

Chatting up other pieces of tail,thats where!

Call this guy out,ask him his feelings,ask him why he still lives with his mom?

IF you were too be with this guy,you would have too take of his mom too!

Throw your cards out on the table,and watch this loser runs like a midget from a circus promoter.

DROP THIS GUY.....................NOW!

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:12 am

camelot;510831 wrote: Aside from the living with mom issue I have to wonder why he never dated until a few years ago when he got a computer?

Oh Camelot,..that is the weirdest thing I have ever heard...

Only dates after getting a computer?...Please don't meet this guy...

camelot · Post by **camelot** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 11:29 pm

Actually I quoted another poster but I must have done something wrong because the quote came up from me?:-2 I noticed it after I posted but couldn't figure out how to correct it, sorry

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 2:47 am

Shweet tatersalad;510938 wrote: 43-and not learned how too treat a woman yet(aka;immature remarks about your breasts.

Lives with mom? ..what can't hold a job and /or responsible enough too live on his own?Perhaps looking for a sugar momma too take care of him.

Does not call you after you try too have mature talk with him about your future sex?

I Read this whole thread...........THREE TIMES!

I found absolutely nothing for you in this guy.

wanna know where he is when he is NOT talking too you.???

Chatting up other pieces of tail,thats where!

Call this guy out,ask him his feelings,ask him why he still lives with his mom?

IF you were too be with this guy,you would have too take of his mom too!

Throw your cards out on the table,and watch this loser runs like a midget from a circus promoter.

DROP THIS GUY.....................NOW!

did any one else hear the phsyco shower scene music ..eee .. eee eee

go through there head as they read this post

thought not but read it again and make the noise

leave this guy alone now is he is norman bates

no not you tatersalad your nice

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:39 am

jimbo;513629 wrote: did any one else hear the phsyco shower scene music ..eee .. eee eee

go through there head as they read this post

thought not but read it again and make the noise

leave this guy alone now is he is norman bates

no not you tatersalad your nice

Gotta love Jimbo aint ya? :wah:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:28 am

Camelot. I live in a very small town also, The adults here, trade around in a circle, dating each other. Everyone has been involved with everyone. Its pretty revolting. I lived here for 8 years... left for three... came back a year ago. Id really like to go on a couple of dates. It isnt going to happen. From time to time I look at the candidates on the online dating sights. It just isnt my thing. Im not afraid... its just that it feels like shopping for something not knowing the sizes........ very uncomfortable.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:25 am

Diuretic;513667 wrote: I would have called him a Norman Bater jimbo, but then I thought about it and realised he was just another banker

a young norman bates ... mate that is so funny ... wise will get it :wah: :wah: :wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:45 am

My question: How long after sex do you wait?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:49 am

Galbally;513770 wrote: My question: How long after sex do you wait?

i thought so dr g your a door open hopping down the street still trying to put the other sock on kinda guy i knew it , you smooth talkers are all the same :wah: :wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:53 am

jimbo;513774 wrote: i thought so dr g your a door open hopping down the street still trying to put the other sock on kinda guy i knew it , you smooth talkers are all the same :wah:

Oh you got my number jimbo!!! :wah: :wah: I do try and behave now though, honest, I'm getting too old for all that messing around now and I ain't as trim as I used to be, or maybe I'm just lazier. :wah: