YZGI's In Bed Advice Column

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:41 am

It has been brought to my attention that YZGI is ready and willing to give advice on how to solve any "in bed" problems that people might be having.

I'd like to thank him for his commitment and get the party started.

First question:

Why is it that some people think a bed is the proper place for intimate activities?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:45 am

koan;518862 wrote: It has been brought to my attention that YZGI is ready and willing to give advice on how to solve any "in bed" problems that people might be having.

I'd like to thank him for his commitment and get the party started.

First question:

Why is it that some people think a bed is the proper place for intimate activities?
Oh Oh Oh one of these days Alice POW too the moon!!

To answer your question: Because people tend to have less clothing on in bed than at the market.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:46 am

Hamster;518867 wrote: Ok I have LOADS of questions....

First:

YZGI..How do I achieve Nirvana during sex?

Well, Take two hits of acid and look me in the eyes.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:48 am

Pinky;518870 wrote: Ok, YZGI, why is it that fellas generally have to pinch all your covers and somehow push you over during the night so that you end up with about five inches of space?

The only reason you end up at the edge of the bed is from running from the dude. Quit moving over and you will be surprised at what runs into you.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:49 am

jesse b;518875 wrote: so how come all the rude threads are started by girls ya lot are sex mad:-4 :-4

They are just trying to prove that yes they want sex as much as us blokes. I think it is just in their heads.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:52 am

Hamster;518882 wrote: YZGI..how do I achieve multiples?

(Buy a calculator....snigger):sneaky:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:53 am

Hamster;518882 wrote: YZGI..how do I achieve multiples?
Use a calculator, Seems to help with the headaches.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:55 am

Hamster;518887 wrote: YZGI why are men obsessed with finding the G-Spot?
We were told it was the anti nagging switch.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:56 am

YZGI;518891 wrote: We were told it was the anti nagging switch.

Oh thats why Jim says i nag all the time!!!!!!:sneaky:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:59 am

Hamster;518895 wrote: YZGI....Why do men always finish before the ladies are done?
Because if we dont leave you wanting more you may not want anymore.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:01 am

Hamster;518899 wrote: YZGI why do men always have to break wind afterwards?
I stopped breaking wind afterwards as soon as I taught my wife that she really doesnt have to blow. Its just an expression.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:02 am

Hamster;518895 wrote: YZGI....Why do men always finish before the ladies are done?

Jim says "Who cares" ( Jim now going to sleep in spare room!)

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:04 am

Hamster;518895 wrote: YZGI....Why do men always finish before the ladies are done?
Or it could be because you ladies turn us on so much we cant help ourselves.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:05 am

Hamster;518914 wrote: YZGI....

What's the world record for the longest sex session?
Mine was about 3 hours but I had whiskey d*ck going for me.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:07 am

YZGI, How comes when first dating, a guy can make love to you then stay awake chatting and cuddling, give them a few months and they are ZZZZZing before you've had a chance to pull the duvet back over you!!!????

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:09 am

Hamster;518919 wrote: YZGI have you ever achieved tantric sex?

(Thanks Koan for this thread...I was looking for a way to amuse myself)
Not sure but I have had frantic sex a number of times.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:10 am

SuzyB;518922 wrote: YZGI, How comes when first dating, a guy can make love to you then stay awake chatting and cuddling, give them a few months and they are ZZZZZing before you've had a chance to pull the duvet back over you!!!????
Because we have heard all we need to know about you in the first ten minutes.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:12 am

Hamster;518927 wrote: YZGI why is it at first we get a cuddle and a cuppa afterwards?

Then its barely a snort?
We only cuddle at first because we know we have too. Once we get you to quit reading those fake romance novels we figure we are in the clear.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:16 am

Does it bother you if a woman wants to sleep with more than 1 pillow, even if she has you in the bed with her??

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:18 am

WonderWendy3;518935 wrote: Does it bother you if a woman wants to sleep with more than 1 pillow, even if she has you in the bed with her??
Not at all. Why would it. Besides it takes the pressure off of me.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:24 am

Hamster;518938 wrote: YZGI have you ever had a woman fall asleep on your arm so it went numb?

To what lengths did you go to in order to free yourself?
Yes in fact it has happened. I just moved her enough to get free. Woke her up. I figure she didnt want me in pain or nothin.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:32 am

Dear YZGI, do you think that my using every part of my young(ish) body to provide a woman with 4 and half hours of total sexual release and allowing her to express all her naughty womanly needs and secret inner desires by using me as her plaything until she can take no more pleasure, and then being mine, to do with as I see fit as and how it suits me, is overdoing it? Or am I just getting lazy?

Yours, somewhat fatigued.

Ireland.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:33 am

P.S. I am not sure where the bed comes in, but I'm sure its important as well.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:33 am

Galbally;518954 wrote: Dear YZGI, do you think that my using every part of my young(ish) body to provide a woman with 4 and half hours of total sexual release and allowing her to express all her naughty womanly needs and secret inner desires by using me as her plaything until she can take no more pleasure, and then being mine, to do with as I see fit as and how it suits me, is overdoing it? Or am I just getting lazy?

Yours, somewhat fatigued.

Ireland.

Umm Is there any chance I could get Chapter 2 of this saga?

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:33 am

wizey whats the best thing a b j ... the release or the ten minutes silence

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:34 am

Hamster;518938 wrote: YZGI have you ever had a woman fall asleep on your arm so it went numb?

To what lengths did you go to in order to free yourself?

I thought she was going to ask you if you ever had a woman fall asleep while you were ummm "doin' the deed" , so have you and did you go numb?

if so, what lengths did you go to in order to free yourself???

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:35 am

jimbo;518959 wrote: wizey whats the best thing a b j ... the release or the ten minutes silence

Silence is golden But a good ole humming of the Star Spangled Banner during is quite the experience.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:35 am

YZGI;518957 wrote: Umm Is there any chance I could get Chapter 2 of this saga?

Okay, but I need to have a rest first. :rolleyes:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:37 am

WonderWendy3;518960 wrote: I thought she was going to ask you if you ever had a woman fall asleep while you were ummm "doin' the deed" , so have you and did you go numb?

if so, what lengths did you go to in order to free yourself???
Yeah once there was a little dozing I fear but a couple bangs into the headboard fixed that right up.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:37 am

Hamster;518958 wrote: Ha ha ha you're loving that's its not you answering the questions hey?

Gal..can I have your address please..for my chrimbo card list? :sneaky:

Damn straight I like not having to be responsible for the answers!

As for my address, its Dublin Airport, Arrivals Lounge, 8 o'clock tonight, don't be late. :rolleyes: