YZGI's In Bed Advice Column

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:39 am

Galbally;518954 wrote: Dear YZGI, do you think that my using every part of my young(ish) body to provide a woman with 4 and half hours of total sexual release and allowing her to express all her naughty womanly needs and secret inner desires by using me as her plaything until she can take no more pleasure, and then being mine, to do with as I see fit as and how it suits me, is overdoing it? Or am I just getting lazy?

Yours, somewhat fatigued.

Ireland.

Okay, back from my cold shower...carry on, yeah really I'm fine!!

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:40 am

I actually knew a fella who told us that his girlfriend had burned him with her cigarette by accident during the act of love, :-2 doesn't sound like she was really into it does it?

I wonder was she reading a magazine as well, didn't have the heart to ask him. :wah:

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:40 am

YZGI;518967 wrote: Yeah once there was a little dozing I fear but a couple bangs into the headboard fixed that right up.

:yh_rotfl

good on ya! show her who's boss

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:44 am

YZGI;518967 wrote: Yeah once there was a little dozing I fear but a couple bangs into the headboard fixed that right up.

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl such a shame that you are married...you are my DREAM man!! :wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:47 am

Hamster;518980 wrote: Ok will there be any headboard banging?

Shouldn't that be, "will there be anything left resembling a bed tomorrow or just a pile of splinters and linen?" :rolleyes:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:48 am

Did you know that if you eat a really hot jalapeno an hour before bed, no matter how many times you brush your teeth you can still transfer the heat to other regions of the female anatomy?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:49 am

Hamster;518981 wrote: YZGI have you ever heard a woman say during the act "Can you just move over a little bit as I can't see the telly"?
No but I have been asked to go slower so she could get a sip of her wine.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:49 am

Dear YZGI, sex in the shower?, question, right way up or upside down? Discuss.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:51 am

Galbally;518990 wrote: Dear YZGI, sex in the shower?, question, right way up or upside down? Discuss.
Depends on who is upside down. Dont want to much blood rushing to the wrong head now do we?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:51 am

Dear ZYGI, who was the eegit who came up with the idea of using honey as a fun food prop during lovemaking? That was a bad idea wasn't it?

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:52 am

Galbally;518990 wrote: Dear YZGI, sex in the shower?, question, right way up or upside down? Discuss.

If someone can pull a spidey without getting a nose full of water I'll be impressed.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:52 am

Hamster;518995 wrote: YZGI have you ever lost the soap whilst having "relations" in the shower?

Isn't that how it starts?

eta: oh... lost. I thought you meant dropped.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:53 am

Hamster;518992 wrote: Dear YZGI is it safe to have sex in the bath?
Yes as long as its not one of them Turkish baths.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:54 am

YZGI;518993 wrote: Depends on who is upside down. Dont want to much blood rushing to the wrong head now do we?

Thats a fair point, is it appropriate to use the shower-head in such situations?, I find it can come in useful on occasion, full power of course.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:54 am

Galbally;518994 wrote: Dear ZYGI, who was the eegit who came up with the idea of using honey as a fun food prop during lovemaking? That was a bad idea wasn't it?
I am with you on this. I much prefer Chocolate syrup. Wait thats my wife. Um I dont need food products while lovemaking.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:56 am

Hamster;518995 wrote: YZGI have you ever lost the soap whilst having "relations" in the shower?

No, But I did lose the rope it was attached to once.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:56 am

Who should sleep in the wet spot? Is this a shared responsibility?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:57 am

YZGI;519001 wrote: I am with you on this. I much prefer Chocolate syrup. Wait thats my wife. Um I dont need food products while lovemaking.

I am more a freshly whipped cream and fresh strawberries man myself, more delicate taste, less friction. Clean ups a b*tch though.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:59 am

Galbally;519000 wrote: Thats a fair point, is it appropriate to use the shower-head in such situations?, I find it can come in useful on occasion, full power of course.
You have a point there. Bought my wife one of them shower massagers a few years ago. Damn near had to get a second job to pay the water bill. It took a week for the wrinkles to come out of her.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:59 am

YZGI Do you think marital aids are a good idea?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 10:59 am

koan;518996 wrote: If someone can pull a spidey without getting a nose full of water I'll be impressed.

Black leather clothes peg, its your only man.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:00 am

koan;519005 wrote: Who should sleep in the wet spot? Is this a shared responsibility?

Ah, the eternal question. :wah:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:00 am

Galbally;519006 wrote: I am more a freshly whipped cream and fresh strawberries man myself, more delicate taste, less friction. Clean ups a b*tch though.
My problem is. I dont eat sweets. So a good ole cream gravy might work well.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:02 am

koan;519005 wrote: Who should sleep in the wet spot? Is this a shared responsibility?
As many fluids go in and out of a womans body I reckon she should be used to it.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:03 am

Somehow I think we are working towards tying this thread in with "Refrigerate Butter?"

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:03 am

YZGI;519011 wrote: My problem is. I dont eat sweets. So a good ole cream gravy might work well.

Oh I am not fussy about what I eat in bed. :rolleyes:

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:04 am

Imladris;519008 wrote: YZGI Do you think marital aids are a good idea?
Depends on whether they are male or female aides. I prefer the female aides myself. A dude aide just wont do.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:05 am

YZGI;519012 wrote: As many fluids go in and out of a womans body I reckon she should be used to it.

Thats gonna be controversial.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:05 am

Hamster;519016 wrote: YZGI who do you think should make the cuppa after?
The woman of course. Because us dude are asleep allready.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:06 am

Galbally;519020 wrote: Thats gonna be controversial.

How many times do I need to tell myself. YZGI think before you post you dumbass. THink THink!!!!

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:07 am

Hamster;519019 wrote: YZGI are lacy undies a turn on or just extra bits to come off?
They are a turn on for a few. Then its time to lose them.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:08 am

YZGI What about feathers, do they tickle your fancy?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:08 am

koan;519013 wrote: Somehow I think we are working towards tying this thread in with "Refrigerate Butter?"

I thought this was refrigerate butter? You mean this is not about butter? Oh dear.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:08 am

Pinky;519025 wrote: YZGI, what do I do if I've forgotton where I put the key to the handcuffs? :-3
I always try to keep a set of bolt cutters under the bed for any sexual misadventures that may occur.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:09 am

Imladris;519028 wrote: YZGI What about feathers, do they tickle your fancy?
I dont have a fancy, but they do tickle me elmo.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:09 am

Should ben wa balls be refrigerated?