Are forums good or bad for relationships?

[loser]

Okay, this is the question.

If you are in an existing relationship, is posting on a forum(or chat room)....

a)A hindrance

b)A help

c)has no effect

to the relationship?

It is my premise that continually posting on forums has a large negative effect on your marriage/relationship. On other forums I have seen marriages destroyed because of forums.

The reason? Well, the basic principle that the majority of men post on the internet to pick up and a large proportion of women who post on the internet, do so because they are bored. Add the two factors and you have a high rating risk.

So, convince me that this is not the case. Convince me that posting on forums can enhance relationships or at the very least not effect it.

Disclaimer: As i do not know anyone on this forum, i am not referring to any member here or any relationship here in making my assertions(just thought I would cover myself legally :wah: )

[SuzyB]

Why do you think i'm here watching him :sneaky: :wah:

The only time it causes problems here, is the amount of time we spend on it and the other is waiting for the computer :-5

I don't see it as being any different than Jim being in the pub chatting to people, except this costs less

[koan]

I think that if both people are in the house at the same time and one person goes online whilst the other person is doing something else then it is a bad sign. If both people go online and talk to each other about what they do and say online then it is fine. If two people share a home and don't talk to each other when they are home then the trouble has already begun. Whether the time is spent watching tv or online or doing something else, the point is that they should be in the same room, even if they are both sat reading a book.

[Galbally]

Erm dunno? I was never interested in getting an internet girlfriend, though if you met someone you really liked that would be cool I guess, I guess its down to the individuals involved I think. Like hammy said, FG can be a positive place where you have have real fun, meet great people, and learn things, and the flipside is that it can be a bit of a refuge where you can hide and avoid the real world, (which is OK sometimes you need that, but you gotta keep it in proportion). I dunno, thats my tuppence, doesn't really answer anything, sorry.

[Carl44]

loser;542930 wrote: Okay, this is the question.



If you are in an existing relationship, is posting on a forum(or chat room)....



a)A hindrance

b)A help

c)has no effect



to the relationship?



It is my premise that continually posting on forums has a large negative effect on your marriage/relationship. On other forums I have seen marriages destroyed because of forums.



The reason? Well, the basic principle that the majority of men post on the internet to pick up and a large proportion of women who post on the internet, do so because they are bored. Add the two factors and you have a high rating risk.



So, convince me that this is not the case. Convince me that posting on forums can enhance relationships or at the very least not effect it.



Disclaimer: As i do not know anyone on this forum, i am not referring to any member here or any relationship here in making my assertions(just thought I would cover myself legally :wah: )


forum garden has really helped us out, if i want to talk to her now all i have to do is send her a p m:wah: :wah:

[loser]

Hamster;542934 wrote: Forums can beome addictive and I have used them as a way to aviod dealing with issues in my relationship.

This spirals then because the more you spend time on forums the worse it gets.


Actually, this is an extremely good point. It is not only the time spent on forums that can be excessive but the priorities. People can get so addicted to forums or chat rooms that an online person who may or may not be real, becomes more important to them than their loved one. This creates sadness for the other partner.

BTW hamster, i am really sorry for your situation. Just to reiterate that I am new here and this topic is no way reflective on any person or situation on this forum. I am basing my theories based on prior experiences in other forums.

[loser]

Galbally;542938 wrote: Erm dunno? I was never interested in getting an internet girlfriend, though if you met someone you really liked that would be cool I guess, I guess its down to the individuals involved I think. Like hammy said, FG can be a positive place where you have have real fun, meet great people, and learn things, and the flipside is that it can be a bit of a refuge where you can hide and avoid the real world, (which is OK sometimes you need that, but you gotta keep it in proportion). I dunno, thats my tuppence, doesn't really answer anything, sorry.


Thats fair enough

I was more thinking of forums in general. I don't know much about FG so I can't really make a comment on that.

[loser]

koan;542936 wrote: I think that if both people are in the house at the same time and one person goes online whilst the other person is doing something else then it is a bad sign. If both people go online and talk to each other about what they do and say online then it is fine. If two people share a home and don't talk to each other when they are home then the trouble has already begun. Whether the time is spent watching tv or online or doing something else, the point is that they should be in the same room, even if they are both sat reading a book.


I agree. I can never work this out.

I will tell you an even stranger behaviour. When husband and wife are both home and are both spending time on the same forum, with different computers and different log ins. And especially when there is children involved.

I must be in a different world. I cannot understand this at all. I mean what about spending time together as a family or talking about each others day or going for a walk or doing something together. It is something I cannot relate to at all.

[loser]

SuzyB;542933 wrote:

I don't see it as being any different than Jim being in the pub chatting to people, except this costs less


Its a really interesting observation you make.

See, to me there is a big difference. But I cannot exactly put my finger on why. Logically your argument stacks up. Maybe it is my distrust or cynicsm of the internet. Either way, you seem to have a sensible approach to forums which is good.

[pantsonfire321@aol.com]

loser;542930 wrote: Okay, this is the question.

If you are in an existing relationship, is posting on a forum(or chat room)....

a)A hindrance

b)A help

c)has no effect

to the relationship?

It is my premise that continually posting on forums has a large negative effect on your marriage/relationship. On other forums I have seen marriages destroyed because of forums.

The reason? Well, the basic principle that the majority of men post on the internet to pick up and a large proportion of women who post on the internet, do so because they are bored. Add the two factors and you have a high rating risk.

So, convince me that this is not the case. Convince me that posting on forums can enhance relationships or at the very least not effect it.

Disclaimer: As i do not know anyone on this forum, i am not referring to any member here or any relationship here in making my assertions(just thought I would cover myself legally :wah: )




I personally think when cyber life takes over from real life then a person has a problem . I work part time so pop in and out when ever i get the chance. I can take it or leave it . I often see people that are here morning noon and night - i don't think thats very healthy

[loser]

pantsonfire321@aol.com;542947 wrote: I personally think when cyber life takes over from real life then a person has a problem . I work part time so pop in and out when ever i get the chance. I can take it or leave it . I often see people that are here morning noon and night - i don't think thats very healthy


Yes, it is a sad truth. It usually starts out as a boredom relieving exercise then turns into an addiction.

While there is no money cost to this addiction(such as drugs or gambling), there is an opportunity cost to it: being productive time wasted that you could be spending doing other things.

I am not having a go at forums here either. Just i have seen real lives destroyed by addiction to them. Its like anything i guess, apply a bit of common sense to the situation and enjoy everything in moderation.

[Carl44]

loser;542943 wrote: I agree. I can never work this out.



I will tell you an even stranger behaviour. When husband and wife are both home and are both spending time on the same forum, with different computers and different log ins. And especially when there is children involved.



I must be in a different world. I cannot understand this at all. I mean what about spending time together as a family or talking about each others day or going for a walk or doing something together. It is something I cannot relate to at all.


you gotta be single then mate, :wah: :wah:



in the real world ,my partner would rather talk to hammy, pinky, koen red glitter than me any day not about important things like football , and boxing mma stuff , but all the unimportant stuff like shopping, school , family health how to get rid of nits , you know all the day to day bollox that was getting in the way of me watching star gate in peace , i'm all for it:wah: :wah:

[weeder]

Ive been single, the entire time Ive been involved with my computer.

Getting involved with this one forum came at a time when I was very homesick, and lonely. If I had someone in my home who expected to have my company, they would be very annoyed with my present computer use.

It would have to change. But then, I would want it to change. I also no longer have small children. The concept of an entire family, sitting around typing to strangers is horrifying for me to imagine. There was a time when I did get very attached to some members here, There wasnt any harm in that. Actually, I think it was an enlightening experience. My knowledge concerning awareness of how personalities may not be what they originally seem to be has grown. The only negative Ive experienced, is that looking back... when it was new, I did use it instead of doing other more productive activities. It would be very far fetched for me to imagine developing a romantic internet relationship. I would be extremely suspect of someone of the opposite sex using this tool in place of socializing conventionally. I do have an old, long time friend whose husband did leave her for someone he met online. I have this personal creepy feeling ( that Ive expressed before) that our goverment wants the population to become internet zombies. It is a cheap form of mind controll and sedation. A zillion people sitting in front of screens.... while real life passes them by.

[Bez]

For me....visiting Forums started as an alternative to watching the TV etc in the evening. I've never used it as an alternative to being with family or doing 'Real Life' things.....it's just a diversion but one that has helped me through a difficult time in my life AND enabled me to meet some folks from here and have a good time.

[loser]

weeder;542968 wrote: The concept of an entire family, sitting around typing to strangers is horrifying for me to imagine. .


Yep, it is to me as well. But it does happen and quite a lot too. Actually i would say that yours and mine opinion would be in the extreme minority. So either we are both not normal or have not moved to the modern age.

I must say that my idea of relationships and the interaction of the internet is a lot more conservative than most people.

[Marie5656]

If you mean on RL relationships..where one partner does not use the internet as often, then it MAY be an issue..if it is percieved as time NOT spent with tbhe RL partner.

In my case, I am online much more that Rick..he has no interest in message forums or chat. BUT..he knows I am here in FG alot, and sometimes will even have me post questions here if he has one he cannot find an answer to..usually related to electronics or something.

[Imladris]

Very interesting question Loser. In my case I use it as a way of having contact with other people. I work on my own most of the time, I spend a few evenings a week on my own when my husband has various meetings and my daughter has gone to bed. Time here avoids me feeling isolated and lonely - there is always someone to talk to. I don't have any intention of being anything other than a friend to people - I'm certainly not looking for a man!



My husband and I talk, lots and lots. We have a solid relationship and he is not at all threatened by my talking to men here but at the same time he has no interest in joining in himself (probably just as well - I'd have to behave!)



We do sometimes sit in the same room and I'll be here and he'll be on the laptop catching up with emails, playing games or he'll be watching rubbish on the tv that doesn't interest me. But equally as often we watch the tv together or I'll be reading or occasionally we play cards or a board game. I think the gist of what I'm saying that time spent online should be in addition to RL not instead of and getting the balance right is vital.



I also consider the friends I have made here and the ones I have been lucky enough to meet to be just as much my real friends as the ones I see often.

[Carl44]

Pinky;543154 wrote: I can't see the difference between chatting on forums and any other chill-out activity. Before I started going to forums (about three years ago) I'd either read in the bath for a few hours, watch some mindless drivel on the telly or go see friends. The only one of those that I don't still do is watch mindless drivel!

As for affecting relationships, I can't say it's affected mine. If anything, it's given me the opportunity to talk to people about things that I otherwise probably wouldn't.

As for guys trying to pick up women..I've not come across any yet, and I'm a member of seven forums!


wisey said watch ya doin later

[YZGI]

jimbo;543157 wrote: wisey said watch ya doin later




Damn Ya caught me. I only come on forums to pick up women. So far I havent found any that measure up too my wife , she told me to say that of course.

[RhondaLu]

http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/i ... n_test.htm

CENTER]Internet Addiction[/center]


How do you know if you're already addicted or rapidly tumbling toward trouble? The Internet Addiction Test is the first validated and reliable measure of addictive use of the Internet. Click here to read the study. Developed by Dr. Kimberly Young, the IAT is a 20-item questionnaire that measures mild, moderate, and severe levels of Internet Addiction.

To assess your level of addiction, answer the following questions using this scale:

1 = Rarely.

2 = Occasionally.

3 = Frequently.

4 = Often.

5 = Always.

1. How often do you find that you stay on-line longer than you intended?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



2. How often do you neglect household chores to spend more time on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



3. How often do you prefer the excitement of the Internet to intimacy with your partner?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



4. How often do you form new relationships with fellow on-line users?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



5. How often do others in your life complain to you about the amount of time you spend on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



6. How often do your grades or school work suffer because of the amount of time you spend on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



7. How often do you check your e-mail before something else that you need to do?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 =Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



8. How often does your job performance or productivity suffer because of the Internet?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



9. How often do you become defensive or secretive when anyone asks you what you do on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



10. How often do you block out disturbing thoughts about your life with soothing thoughts of the Internet?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



11. How often do you find yourself anticipating when you will go on-line again?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



12. How often do you fear that life without the Internet would be boring, empty, and joyless?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



13. How often do you snap, yell, or act annoyed if someone bothers you while you are on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



14. How often do you lose sleep due to late-night log-ins?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



15. How often do you feel preoccupied with the Internet when off-line, or fantasize about being on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



16. How often do you find yourself saying "just a few more minutes" when on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



17. How often do you try to cut down the amount of time you spend on-line and fail?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



18. How often do you try to hide how long you've been on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



19. How often do you choose to spend more time on-line over going out with others?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



20. How often do you feel depressed, moody, or nervous when you are off-line, which goes away once you are back on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply







Your Score:

Results:



After you've answered all the questions, add the numbers you selected for each response to obtain a final score. The higher your score, the greater your level of addiction and the problems your Internet usage causes. Here's a general scale to help measure your score:

20 - 49 points: You are an average on-line user. You may surf the Web a bit too long at times, but you have control over your usage.

50 -79 points: You are experiencing occasional or frequent problems because of the Internet. You should consider their full impact on your life.

80 - 100 points: Your Internet usage is causing significant problems in your life. You should evaluate the impact of the Internet on your life and address the problems directly caused by your Internet usage.

After you have identified the category that fits your total score, look back at those questions for which your scored a 4 or 5. Did you realize this was a significant problem for you? For example, if you answered 4 (often) to Question #2 regarding your neglect of household chores, were you aware of just how often your dirty laundry piles up or how empty the refrigerator gets?

Say you answered 5 (always) to Question #14 about lost sleep due to late-night log-ins. Have you ever stopped to think about how hard it has become to drag yourself out of bed every morning? Do you feel exhausted at work? Has this pattern begun to take its toll on your body and your overall health?

For immediate help, visit our Counseling Services which provides affordable and confidential counseling or review our array of Books and Tapes on Internet addiction to learn more.

[Elvira]

I guess it really depends on why you are online.

I live with my partner, and neither of us go online in the evenings, we are together snuggled up, chatting with a glass of wine/ water.

However, during the day, this place provides a welcome break from work. I don't have time to ring and chat to friends during the day, but I can dip in and out of this place in a matter of minutes, and it gives my mind a break.

The word forum comes from roman times, meaning an assembly or meeting place (usually a market place) for the congregation of people and business.

Nowhere in Real Life would I be able to ask the same question to so many peole with different cultural backgrounds. To me, its a meeting of minds and a place of exploration.

I don't doubt that there are lots of people who go onlne to meet someone, but they probably go to match.com or somwhere similar.

[YZGI]

Pinky;543164 wrote: :wah: :wah:

Reading in the bath, hehe!



Wisey, you're damn funny, but you're also a true gent! :-6


A true gent? Wow!! I do not believe I have ever been called a gent before.

Many thanks me lady. Now just how warm would you like your bathwater drawn?

[SuzyB]

I got 29 which says I'm an average user

[loser]

RhondaLu;543165 wrote: http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/i ... n_test.htm

CENTER]Internet Addiction[/center]


How do you know if you're already addicted or rapidly tumbling toward trouble? The Internet Addiction Test is the first validated and reliable measure of addictive use of the Internet. Click here to read the study. Developed by Dr. Kimberly Young, the IAT is a 20-item questionnaire that measures mild, moderate, and severe levels of Internet Addiction.

To assess your level of addiction, answer the following questions using this scale:

1 = Rarely.

2 = Occasionally.

3 = Frequently.

4 = Often.

5 = Always.

1. How often do you find that you stay on-line longer than you intended?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



2. How often do you neglect household chores to spend more time on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



3. How often do you prefer the excitement of the Internet to intimacy with your partner?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



4. How often do you form new relationships with fellow on-line users?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



5. How often do others in your life complain to you about the amount of time you spend on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



6. How often do your grades or school work suffer because of the amount of time you spend on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



7. How often do you check your e-mail before something else that you need to do?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 =Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



8. How often does your job performance or productivity suffer because of the Internet?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



9. How often do you become defensive or secretive when anyone asks you what you do on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



10. How often do you block out disturbing thoughts about your life with soothing thoughts of the Internet?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



11. How often do you find yourself anticipating when you will go on-line again?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



12. How often do you fear that life without the Internet would be boring, empty, and joyless?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



13. How often do you snap, yell, or act annoyed if someone bothers you while you are on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



14. How often do you lose sleep due to late-night log-ins?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



15. How often do you feel preoccupied with the Internet when off-line, or fantasize about being on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



16. How often do you find yourself saying "just a few more minutes" when on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



17. How often do you try to cut down the amount of time you spend on-line and fail?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



18. How often do you try to hide how long you've been on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



19. How often do you choose to spend more time on-line over going out with others?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply



20. How often do you feel depressed, moody, or nervous when you are off-line, which goes away once you are back on-line?

1 = Rarely

2 = Occasionally

3 = Frequently

4 = Often

5 = Always

Does Not Apply







Your Score:

Results:



After you've answered all the questions, add the numbers you selected for each response to obtain a final score. The higher your score, the greater your level of addiction and the problems your Internet usage causes. Here's a general scale to help measure your score:

20 - 49 points: You are an average on-line user. You may surf the Web a bit too long at times, but you have control over your usage.

50 -79 points: You are experiencing occasional or frequent problems because of the Internet. You should consider their full impact on your life.

80 - 100 points: Your Internet usage is causing significant problems in your life. You should evaluate the impact of the Internet on your life and address the problems directly caused by your Internet usage.

After you have identified the category that fits your total score, look back at those questions for which your scored a 4 or 5. Did you realize this was a significant problem for you? For example, if you answered 4 (often) to Question #2 regarding your neglect of household chores, were you aware of just how often your dirty laundry piles up or how empty the refrigerator gets?

Say you answered 5 (always) to Question #14 about lost sleep due to late-night log-ins. Have you ever stopped to think about how hard it has become to drag yourself out of bed every morning? Do you feel exhausted at work? Has this pattern begun to take its toll on your body and your overall health?

For immediate help, visit our Counseling Services which provides affordable and confidential counseling or review our array of Books and Tapes on Internet addiction to learn more.


This is a really good test

Actually the most relevant of the questions there are questions 3,4 and 5. You would be surprised the high number of people who would pick the highest number for those questions.

[YZGI]

I just hate pop quiz's. I couldnt get a single answer correct. Damn.

[Carl44]

Elvira;543166 wrote: I guess it really depends on why you are online.



I live with my partner, and neither of us go online in the evenings, we are together snuggled up, chatting with a glass of wine/ water.



However, during the day, this place provides a welcome break from work. I don't have time to ring and chat to friends during the day, but I can dip in and out of this place in a matter of minutes, and it gives my mind a break.



The word forum comes from roman times, meaning an assembly or meeting place (usually a market place) for the congregation of people and business.



Nowhere in Real Life would I be able to ask the same question to so many peole with different cultural backgrounds. To me, its a meeting of minds and a place of exploration.



I don't doubt that there are lots of people who go onlne to meet someone, but they probably go to match.com or somwhere similar.


blah blah blah blah blah:wah:

[loser]

Elvira;543166 wrote: I guess it really depends on why you are online.

I live with my partner, and neither of us go online in the evenings, we are together snuggled up, chatting with a glass of wine/ water.

However, during the day, this place provides a welcome break from work. I don't have time to ring and chat to friends during the day, but I can dip in and out of this place in a matter of minutes, and it gives my mind a break.

The word forum comes from roman times, meaning an assembly or meeting place (usually a market place) for the congregation of people and business.

Nowhere in Real Life would I be able to ask the same question to so many peole with different cultural backgrounds. To me, its a meeting of minds and a place of exploration.

I don't doubt that there are lots of people who go onlne to meet someone, but they probably go to match.com or somwhere similar.


I used to think that too until I posted in forums. Now I know it to be not the case. You know the real sad thing.Even if a girl is married or in a relationship, it is not a deterrant for these internet predators.

Was a good post by you. Your forum attitude seems a common sense one.

[Peg]

loser;542930 wrote: Okay, this is the question.

If you are in an existing relationship, is posting on a forum(or chat room)....

a)A hindrance

b)A help

c)has no effect

to the relationship?

It is my premise that continually posting on forums has a large negative effect on your marriage/relationship. On other forums I have seen marriages destroyed because of forums.

The reason? Well, the basic principle that the majority of men post on the internet to pick up and a large proportion of women who post on the internet, do so because they are bored. Add the two factors and you have a high rating risk.

So, convince me that this is not the case. Convince me that posting on forums can enhance relationships or at the very least not effect it.

Disclaimer: As i do not know anyone on this forum, i am not referring to any member here or any relationship here in making my assertions(just thought I would cover myself legally :wah: )


I think a lot depends on the person who is on the internet. Personally, I believe if you are that miserable in a relationship that you go on line looking for another one, you need to get the heck out of the situation you're in. My time on here is my escape from reality for just a little while. Hubby uses the television for his escape. It works for us because there is a balance. We'll pop in a movie and watch it together a few times a week.

[Elvira]

jimbo;543180 wrote: blah blah blah blah blah:wah:


Sorry - I don't understand..........I'm not fluent in Retard

[minks]

I think every situation is different depending on what your RL is like.

That test was cool, I know my answers today are far different from 5 years ago and seriuosly different.

I think fourms are great, we humans are social animals, however we have maintain our RL relations because they are the most attainable. If we are letting them fail because of forums we need to look into why?

I think forums pose no harm if you are in a good solid commited relationship.

[SuzyB]

minks;543260 wrote: I think every situation is different depending on what your RL is like.

That test was cool, I know my answers today are far different from 5 years ago and seriuosly different.

I think fourms are great, we humans are social animals, however we have maintain our RL relations because they are the most attainable. If we are letting them fail because of forums we need to look into why?

I think forums pose no harm if you are in a good solid commited relationship.


Jim, you and I are in trouble

[loser]

minks;543260 wrote: however we have maintain our RL relations because they are the most attainable.


attainable and real.

Are internet relationships real? Do they have substance? A few do, a lot don't.

[minks]

loser;543268 wrote: attainable and real.

Are internet relationships real? Do they have substance? A few do, a lot don't.


Depends on what you are looking for....what your RL has dealt you....etc.

Internet relationships and substance....hmmmmmm depends really ... do you mean friends or do you mean lovers?

I say YES when it comes to friends, I have a few here in this forum whom I would rather chat with some days than say my brother. I think on the lovers scale....

I think as a single person they could have substance if you are looking to persue them further and bring them into real life.

If you are in a relationship you better not be making an internet relationship substantial cause you could be looking at disaster in RL.

[loser]

minks;543300 wrote: Depends on what you are looking for....what your RL has dealt you....etc.

Internet relationships and substance....hmmmmmm depends really ... do you mean friends or do you mean lovers?

I say YES when it comes to friends, I have a few here in this forum whom I would rather chat with some days than say my brother. I think on the lovers scale....

I think as a single person they could have substance if you are looking to persue them further and bring them into real life.

If you are in a relationship you better not be making an internet relationship substantial cause you could be looking at disaster in RL.


Exactly but a lot of people do it though. Sometimes it is voluntarily, others involuntarily. I cannot understand it but it is the times we live in.

With the friend example, you say you prefer chatting to some people rather than your brother. But how real is this compared to your brother? Your brother is real, is part of your family and will always be there. Internet people can be faceless people who can dissappear at call. If something happened to you, most people on the internet would not miss you, but your brother would(presuming you have a normal brother/sister relationship). Note that I am not personalising your examples, just trying to illustrate the difference between internet and real life.

[Carl44]

to be honest , its probably a good thing for us , as any one who has been trapped in a room with me for any length of time will tell you , i have about a million ramdom thoughts per second , and you poor guys out there in f g land are the outlet for my jokes etc , now imagine poor suzy if there was no f g , its a horrible thought is it not

[Imladris]

jimbo;543326 wrote: to be honest , its probably a good thing for us , as any one who has been trapped in a room with me for any length of time will tell you , i have about a million ramdom thoughts per second , and you poor guys out there in f g land are the outlet for my jokes etc , now imagine poor suzy if there was no f g , its a horrible thought is it not


Yep, Suzy is pretty amazing.

[Carl44]

Imladris;543334 wrote: Yep, Suzy is pretty amazing.




or amazingly pretty



shame she is stuck with a retard really :-3

[Carl44]

Imladris;543334 wrote: Yep, Suzy is pretty amazing.


oi what do you mean" jimbo horrible thought is it not"

[weeder]

loser;542987 wrote: Yep, it is to me as well. But it does happen and quite a lot too. Actually i would say that yours and mine opinion would be in the extreme minority. So either we are both not normal or have not moved to the modern age.

I must say that my idea of relationships and the interaction of the internet is a lot more conservative than most people.


A little over 2 years ago, I would say.." Me? Computer? No Way! Not Interested! I originally got the computer for my business.( Which, by the way I never used it for.) Within the first few days of owning it.. I quite accidently stumbled across FG. Talk about hooked ! I was amazed, completely enthralled and stunned to discover the whole world was literally at my finger tips. Despite this, I definately am not modern. I am really lost in the 70s. I can handle this because I am an adult. Kids need to visit with their friends... paint pictures.. run in the woods... read books and learn the art of letter writing. Do you know that almost no one knows what the Dewey Decimel System is?????

[Elvira]

weeder;543546 wrote: A little over 2 years ago, I would say.." Me? Computer? No Way! Not Interested! I originally got the computer for my business.( Which, by the way I never used it for.) Within the first few days of owning it.. I quite accidently stumbled across FG. Talk about hooked ! I was amazed, completely enthralled and stunned to discover the whole world was literally at my finger tips. Despite this, I definately am not modern. I am really lost in the 70s. I can handle this because I am an adult. Kids need to visit with their friends... paint pictures.. run in the woods... read books and learn the art of letter writing. Do you know that almost no one knows what the Dewey Decimel System is?????


Sorry - but I think I fall into that category........I know that it's something to do with the classification of human knowledge, but I dont really get it if I'm honest.

[koan]

loser;543324 wrote: Exactly but a lot of people do it though. Sometimes it is voluntarily, others involuntarily. I cannot understand it but it is the times we live in.

With the friend example, you say you prefer chatting to some people rather than your brother. But how real is this compared to your brother? Your brother is real, is part of your family and will always be there. Internet people can be faceless people who can dissappear at call. If something happened to you, most people on the internet would not miss you, but your brother would(presuming you have a normal brother/sister relationship). Note that I am not personalising your examples, just trying to illustrate the difference between internet and real life.


It's what you decide to make of it.

Because of a friendship I made on FG I'm now living in a different country now doing something I dreamed of doing 20 years ago. I had almost forgotten. I got here and my friend is exactly who he was online. I've since met a number of other people from online and, except for one extreme circumstance a couple of years ago, these people are pretty much who they say they are.

[weeder]

This is too funny. Maybe I dont know what it is. I referred to it remembering that it is the way books are categorized in the library. And so my suggestion was that no one looks for books in the library that way anymore. The sadness of this is that no longer do people stumble across other books that would interest them. They go directly to THE BOOK that they have looked up on the computer.

[loser]

Okay, my conclusion is that this forum is a pretty healthy one

I have been on forums before which has had an adverse affect on existing relationships(hence my general question).