Finances

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 10:37 am

This is a little dry and I didn't know wher to drop it,,

in light of divorce, I have decided to do something the ex never considered, and that is investing my money for my and the girls future. I believe and hope that by getting it all squared away now that no new male can come in and lay claim to it if I choose to re-marry. It is something I am looking into. Anyway that is not my point.

Tell me if I am being terrible but if I remarry is it insulting to 1) ask for a pre-nup, 2) protect my finances so they remain for me and my children only and if a divorce comes again the funds are mine only or my girls only??

My first marriage was joint assets, joint debt and did I ever get burnt there.

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:19 am

go with the pre-nup girl! Protect yourself and those girls! You should not feel a bit bad. If your lad is as awesome as you carry on...then he will not care. Right?

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:29 am

hotsauce wrote: go with the pre-nup girl! Protect yourself and those girls! You should not feel a bit bad. If your lad is as awesome as you carry on...then he will not care. Right?

Thanks hot, the lad and I have nooooo plans of such yet and yes he is awesome, but this was a question that I was wondering about for down the road.

The lad and I are comfortable with life as 2 individuals for now.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:42 am

minks wrote: This is a little dry and I didn't know wher to drop it,,

in light of divorce, I have decided to do something the ex never considered, and that is investing my money for my and the girls future. I believe and hope that by getting it all squared away now that no new male can come in and lay claim to it if I choose to re-marry. It is something I am looking into. Anyway that is not my point.

Tell me if I am being terrible but if I remarry is it insulting to 1) ask for a pre-nup, 2) protect my finances so they remain for me and my children only and if a divorce comes again the funds are mine only or my girls only??

My first marriage was joint assets, joint debt and did I ever get burnt there. Pre-nup for the situation that you describe is over kill in my opinion as well as costly. Invest/save the assets in your name only and establish the date of the transaction as being prior to a new marriage date. This would sufficiently show that it was an asset owned by you prior to marriage. Having a will would also be a must.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:46 am

Lon wrote: Pre-nup for the situation that you describe is over kill in my opinion as well as costly. Invest/save the assets in your name only and establish the date of the transaction as being prior to a new marriage date. This would sufficiently show that it was an asset owned by you prior to marriage. Having a will would also be a must.

Good thoughs Lon thanks.

I am very big on protecting the funds for the girls. I have to wonder what a new partner in life would feel knowing I wanted this money selfishly for myself and my girls.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 11:57 am

minks wrote: Good thoughs Lon thanks.

I am very big on protecting the funds for the girls. I have to wonder what a new partner in life would feel knowing I wanted this money selfishly for myself and my girls.
He wouldn't be much of a partner if he considers this selfish on your part. Self preservation is never selfish. Share and give what you aquire TOGETHER, not that which you had before.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:08 pm

Lon wrote: He wouldn't be much of a partner if he considers this selfish on your part. Self preservation is never selfish. Share and give what you aquire TOGETHER, not that which you had before.

Thanks funny thing I was sitting here eating my lunch thinking the same thing. And what if it were he in my shoes, how would I feel, I would feel what he saves for himself prior to a life commitment would be fine by me for him to keep for himself. Joint aquisitions would make me perfectly happy.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:09 pm

and yes I desperately need to do a will. I have to find a format for one someplace as I can't afford lawyers right now, guess I could purchace a will kit someplace.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 12:56 pm

minks wrote:

Tell me if I am being terrible but if I remarry is it insulting to 1) ask for a pre-nup, 2) protect my finances so they remain for me and my children only and if a divorce comes again the funds are mine only or my girls only??.

Not at all, Minks! When my mother remarried, even though my new step father was the head of Hewlett Packard labs (and lived in a mnasion overlooking the bay) she and he still made a prenuptial agreement tht his kids would get his money and her kids would get hers. It's very respectful and any man worth hid salt will agree.

I actually thought that was too bad for me though, she had only $80,000 to be split between my sister and I, he had $27,000,000.

But that the way of the world!

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:04 pm

Ruewen wrote: I dont know you minks being mostly new to typing here. I think its honorable that you choose your children first

Anyone worth having will feel the same.

Thanks R that is kind of you, after what the ex has put his kids through, they are my number one priority more than ever now.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:07 pm

minks wrote: My first marriage was joint assets, joint debt and did I ever get burnt there.The answer to your question lies in your own post. If someone were to ask you if you'd protect your children from anything physical in any way you had to, what would your answer be? So why would financial protection be any different? :yh_wink

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:12 pm

Jives wrote: Not at all, Minks! When my mother remarried, even though my new step father was the head of Hewlett Packard labs (and lived in a mnasion overlooking the bay) she and he still made a prenuptial agreement tht his kids would get his money and her kids would get hers. It's very respectful and any man worth hid salt will agree.

I actually thought that was too bad for me though, she had only $80,000 to be split between my sister and I, he had $27,000,000.

But that the way of the world!

Yeah I'd say you and sis got ripped off but then again maybe your mom was saying ok if you don't take my pittance I will leave yours alone too I dunno.

I don't have a ton to invest for my kids but my goal is to keep adding to it over the next while.

Agnes · Post by **Agnes** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:22 pm

If you can keep a secret, have your own pass-book. I have my own for security just in case i say see ya. Important to squirrel money away, thats what i do. Just knowing it is there makes all the difference. Takes time, but it can be done, something to work for.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:25 pm

minks wrote: Yeah I'd say you and sis got ripped off but then again maybe your mom was saying ok if you don't take my pittance I will leave yours alone too I dunno.

I don't have a ton to invest for my kids but my goal is to keep adding to it over the next while.

I think it was more like, "we're too old to squabble over money, so let's get together, but leave the money out of it."

Man, I was looking at the number of mistakes in my last post, I really suck today. Damn arthritus.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:34 pm

Jives wrote: I think it was more like, "we're too old to squabble over money, so let's get together, but leave the money out of it."

Man, I was looking at the number of mistakes in my last post, I really suck today. Damn arthritus.

Thank all, it seems like protecting my kids future is it.

And I agree, having your own money is important as a singular in a pair.

and knowing how to manage it on your own is key as well.

Ah Jives your mistakes were over looked

Tis amazing the things one has to look at when going solo whew!! Craziness

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:39 pm

minks wrote: and yes I desperately need to do a will. I have to find a format for one someplace as I can't afford lawyers right now, guess I could purchace a will kit someplace.
Don't know about Canada, but a simple will in the U.S. would cost no more than 100 to 250 USD. , or, go on line to get holographic will suggestions & format.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Apr 19, 2005 3:42 pm

Agnes wrote: If you can keep a secret, have your own pass-book. I have my own for security just in case i say see ya. Important to squirrel money away, thats what i do. Just knowing it is there makes all the difference. Takes time, but it can be done, something to work for.
SECRETS???? Not a very good way to have a relationship. Better to be up front, dontcha think?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 3:10 am

In an ideal world there shouldn't be secrets in a relationship.

Unfortunately this isn't an ideal world for a lot of people.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:26 am

Betty Boop wrote: In an ideal world there shouldn't be secrets in a relationship.

Unfortunately this isn't an ideal world for a lot of people.

Hmmm I dunno I don't think it is so cut and dry about the secrets there... I think some folks have things they really do not wish to share, or can't share.

Lon thanks for the will info, due to being a bit financially challenged I will check it out on the net.

cars · Post by **cars** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 11:32 am

Posted by minks:

Thanks hot, the lad and I have nooooo plans of such yet and yes he is awesome, but this was a question that I was wondering about for down the road.

The lad and I are comfortable with life as 2 individuals for now.

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Many new Brides say what's "hers" is hers, & what's "his" is hers!! Ha-Ha.

What's yours before the "marriage" is yours & what's his before the marriage is his. Everything gained after/during the marrige should be split 50-50 if the need was to arise! :wah:

Cars :driving: