Need some advice

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:13 am

I had a falling out with my mam on wednesday over how LL should be disciplined.

Basically she said something totally inappropriate to me in the middle of a store as LL was having a rare but very massive temper tantrum. She fluffs around her and fusses etc whereas i wont let her screaming and shouting provoke a reaction, but she disagreed with the way i handled it, i was shocked as i think i could of done with support at the time not criticism.

We havent spoken since as she walked out of my house without so much as a goodbye which i thought was over dramatic to say the least, if family cant have a few cross words/differences without resolving it something's wrong i think.

Trouble is if i contact her now she will be hostile (why i have no clue its just her way) but the longer i leave it the worse it might get etc and i still have to think of LL and her seeing her nana, my mam never seems to think of this unfortunately.

Any advice on how you would handle this?

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:28 am

Grandma has sacred privileges. You dont want to interfere with that. Grandma loves you and she loves your daughter. She will have opinions that differ from yours but you are in charge and you know that. LL knows who mommy is so I would say let it ride unless it becomes a pattern then you have every right to ask her to step back. Id save that as a last resort though.

Taking the high road can be very empowering.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:33 am

Very true nomad and i agree with that but i just wish when i extend my hand (which seems to be the pattern) she can at least take it graciously and not be so hostile, it hurts and i end up getting angry which doesnt help. It basically makes a mountain out of a molehill in a way

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:40 am

Mothers and daughters have unique relationships. Hypercritical. Can't ever do enough/ do anything right. If it's a sporadic thing then just try to ignore it. If she interferes on a regular basis then it needs more attention. I like to present options to family members on how things can be dealt with and let them decide what their choice will be.

One of my brothers chose to not be related to me anymore. That was interesting. And enjoyable. While it lasted.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 9:46 am

koan;552749 wrote: Mothers and daughters have unique relationships. Hypercritical. Can't ever do enough/ do anything right. If it's a sporadic thing then just try to ignore it. If she interferes on a regular basis then it needs more attention. I like to present options to family members on how things can be dealt with and let them decide what their choice will be.

One of my brothers chose to not be related to me anymore. That was interesting. And enjoyable. While it lasted.

Thats the thing koan she doesnt interfere as such just makes me feel bad for not pandering to LL and tbh it shocked me when she spoke out like that but that was her opinion fair enough, what i cant handle is the way she plays the martyr and makes out its all my fault when SHE wont speak to me and ends up being in a huff till i have to get her out of it etc instead of just saying ok lets either talk it out or forget it, i swear sometimes im the mother and she's the child! :-5

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:06 am

Red;552747 wrote: Very true nomad and i agree with that but i just wish when i extend my hand (which seems to be the pattern) she can at least take it graciously and not be so hostile, it hurts and i end up getting angry which doesnt help. It basically makes a mountain out of a molehill in a way

Im not sure how to convey to you what Im thinking but............

Mom can say or do anything. You cant control what her thoughts feelings or actions are. You can control your behavior though. If she is able to manipulate you its only because you let her. The opposite wouldnt mean you dont care, it would mean you have decided to take charge of your and your daughters lives.

If mom says ___________, its your choice how to react.

Easier said than done but its one thing I know in this life.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:15 am

Nomad;552767 wrote: Im not sure how to convey to you what Im thinking but............

Mom can say or do anything. You cant control what her thoughts feelings or actions are. You can control your behavior though. If she is able to manipulate you its only because you let her. The opposite wouldnt mean you dont care, it would mean you have decided to take charge of your and your daughters lives.

If mom says ___________, its your choice how to react.

Easier said than done but its one thing I know in this life.

Thinking about it now i could of reacted differently, true i didnt agree with the way she spoke to me and the lack of respect she showed BUT i shouldnt have let it annoy me so much, that wasnt helped by the traumatic situation at the time of course. I suppose i just felt let down she would rather criticise me than help, in short i think if she could only admit to her shortcomings as i always do things would be so much easier. Its funny but last time we fell out (it is rare but does happen) df suggested a meet to discuss things, i was all for it and she agreed..it ended up with me doing all the talking and her shouting and ranting at me, no matter what i said or did it was met with anger...i just dont want another repeat of that...do you think its best to leave things a while so the dust settles maybe?

btw ty for your advice nomad and koan, much appreciated x

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:21 am

Maybe you could send a note or card in a few days just telling her everyone loves her and will see her soon. That way you know you did all the right things. If we act honorably its easy to live with ourselves, no matter what others do. Again easier said than done. I know I fail at this miserably often but its good to keep reminding ourselves. Actually you have helped me today. Thank you.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:24 am

Nomad;552776 wrote: Maybe you could send a note or card in a few days just telling her everyone loves her and will see her soon. That way you know you did all the right things. If we act honorably its easy to live with ourselves, no matter what others do. Again easier said than done. I know I fail at this miserably often but its good to keep reminding ourselves. Actually you have helped me today. Thank you.

I know what you mean nomad, if i rise above it and at least try ill know iv done my best to change things, the rest is up to her. The card thing is a good idea...and im not sure how ive helped you but im glad i have...thanks chick :-4

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:42 am

I think a bright and breezy phone call may help, a sort of 'Hi mum, how are you? Blah blah', ignore it but if the opportunity arises within conversation I would be inclined to say it's not easy being a parent these days, you get bombarded with so much advice from the 'professionals' on the tv, in magazines etc that it's sometimes hard to know what to do for the best, what do you think mum....

then you may be able to get the point over that LL is your child and you are doing what you think best.

Good luck hun

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:44 am

Imladris;552794 wrote: I think a bright and breezy phone call may help, a sort of 'Hi mum, how are you? Blah blah', ignore it but if the opportunity arises within conversation I would be inclined to say it's not easy being a parent these days, you get bombarded with so much advice from the 'professionals' on the tv, in magazines etc that it's sometimes hard to know what to do for the best, what do you think mum....

then you may be able to get the point over that LL is your child and you are doing what you think best.

Good luck hun

could it be immy672........

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:46 am

Imladris;552794 wrote: I think a bright and breezy phone call may help, a sort of 'Hi mum, how are you? Blah blah', ignore it but if the opportunity arises within conversation I would be inclined to say it's not easy being a parent these days, you get bombarded with so much advice from the 'professionals' on the tv, in magazines etc that it's sometimes hard to know what to do for the best, what do you think mum....

then you may be able to get the point over that LL is your child and you are doing what you think best.

Good luck hun

Hiya ims

Bright & breezy wont wah with my mam im afraid she can stay in a huff for months!

I like your advice though on the being a parent isnt easy bit, what a great way to approach it...thanks chick

xx

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:49 am

jimbo;552796 wrote: could it be immy672........

Jimbo I was born in 1967 but it's not me!:wah:

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:28 pm

flopstock;552947 wrote: I love it when I get to disagree..

Seems to me that while LL doesn't get by with pushing your buttons, the world seems to think it's okay for your mother to do it on a regular basis.

I say you need to treat your mother the same way you treat your child in this situation... do you often find yourself giving your child a card when it misbehaves? Somehow, I doubt it. And while she may not be screaming or pounding her feet, she is looking for the same result.. you caving to her will.

I also don't set much value in a gramma that doesn't mind not seeing the grandchild because her own child isn't willing to admit she's wrong when she's not.. it appears to me she is off to a good start of raising the next generation to do things her way or pay the consequences as well...

I say find a relative who is a tad more supportive of you and build on your childs relationship with them. Not out of spite, but so that your child has other adults besides you that reinforce your values.

sorry flops i dont agree

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:30 pm

flopstock;552947 wrote: I love it when I get to disagree..

Seems to me that while LL doesn't get by with pushing your buttons, the world seems to think it's okay for your mother to do it on a regular basis.

I say you need to treat your mother the same way you treat your child in this situation... do you often find yourself giving your child a card when it misbehaves? Somehow, I doubt it. And while she may not be screaming or pounding her feet, she is looking for the same result.. you caving to her will.

I also don't set much value in a gramma that doesn't mind not seeing the grandchild because her own child isn't willing to admit she's wrong when she's not.. it appears to me she is off to a good start of raising the next generation to do things her way or pay the consequences as well...

I say find a relative who is a tad more supportive of you and build on your childs relationship with them. Not out of spite, but so that your child has other adults besides you that reinforce your values.

very well said flopstock and very accurate, trouble is LL is at that age when she knows her nana and is always mentioning her, so for her sake ive got to do something, as much as i hate to have to make that first move AGAIN i dont feel like ive got any choice

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:42 pm

Sometimes you just have to swallow. This is your mother after all. Mothers are real people with real flaws and behavioral issues but you only get one so you make the most of it. My mom is dead and if I had a penny for every time I wish I'd let things go instead of demanding that things go my way, I'd be rich.

If you do anything remotely resembling cutting her out of your life or cutting back on the amount of time you and LL spend with her, I think it would be very sad and foolish.

I know you want respect, we all do, but sometimes it's better to just be humble and know inside you're right.

Call your mom up and ask her what time LL should be delivered to her and if there is anything she'd like you to bring along to her. Make like it was just a bad day.

ps: Nomad's a guy.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:45 pm

i wish it were that easy redglitter i really do, my mams not that simple though unfortunately

p.s...i know nomads a guy

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:47 pm

well personally id love for someone to do it for me so i wouldnt have to lol

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:01 pm

Red;552735 wrote: She fluffs around her and fusses etc whereas i wont let her screaming and shouting provoke a reaction....

No one likes to hear a screaming child in a store. I don't think "fluffing and fussing" is the right thing to do, but neither is ignoring it. Why make the store patrons have to listen to it?

When my daughter and I have been in this situation, she'll just grab the kids arm and take him/her outside and take care of it.

Mother's and daughter's will ALWAYS have different views as to how to "parent". Grandparents really want to fluff and fuss, (I do) But parents should be the last word. You all know you love eachother. This will pass. You're mom should give love, love, love, and let YOU be the parent. Just phone her and ask for a recipe or something. Let this drop. But the next time you're all 3 together, let her know you appreciate her input, but she's going to have to see you as the parent now.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:10 pm

well we were actually trying to get out of the store when this all kicked off, the last place i wanted to be was in the middle of a store believe me but i couldnt give a toss about people in a store or what they think of my parenting skills tbh.

My mam made a comment about 'people are staring' which i thought was totally irrelevant and was the thing that hurt the most as she was more concerned about strangers staring than actually trying to help the situation. people will stare i see it all the time but always look on in sympathy, it happens, kids chuck tantrums in inappropriate places, it happens, and it cant be helped just coped with but ill be damned if ill keep LL quiet by pandering to her just to please others im afraid.

That old saying about choosing your friends and not your family is so true

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:13 pm

I personally think you did the right thing with your daughter. I've not had that happen with my son thank goodness but it takes a lot more to ignore it when she's being like that as telling her off is giving her attention and kids don't care whether or not it's positive or negative, as long as they get it. I myself would slap my kid if they were like that out in public, totally the wrong thing to do but I would.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:19 pm

thanks claire, its hard to think clearly though in times like that isnt it, im just dreading getting in touch with my mam, i know ive got to do it for LL but it doesnt stop me being peed off that she doesnt think about the fallout (Seeing LL etc)

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:24 pm

Red;552998 wrote: thanks claire, its hard to think clearly though in times like that isnt it, im just dreading getting in touch with my mam, i know ive got to do it for LL but it doesnt stop me being peed off that she doesnt think about the fallout (Seeing LL etc)

You haven't got to at all, from what you said, she should be apologizing. Had this sort of thing with my mum a while back so know what you mean, it is hard.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:33 pm

crazygal;553002 wrote: You haven't got to at all, from what you said, she should be apologizing. Had this sort of thing with my mum a while back so know what you mean, it is hard.

then why do i feel like if i dont make the first move, we'll never hear from her again...sad but true, i actually remember a time years ago when i lived at home she fell out with my dad....she didnt speak to him for MONTHS! it was bloody awful. She's very stubborn my mam, i am to but not to that extent, when im wrong ill say im wrong

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:35 pm

Red;553009 wrote: then why do i feel like if i dont make the first move, we'll never hear from her again...sad but true, i actually remember a time years ago when i lived at home she fell out with my dad....she didnt speak to him for MONTHS! it was bloody awful. She's very stubborn my mam, i am to but not to that extent, when im wrong ill say im wrong

My dad is like that with swearing. If my mum swears he won't talk to her for days and sleeps downstairs, lol.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:46 pm

crazygal;553012 wrote: My dad is like that with swearing. If my mum swears he won't talk to her for days and sleeps downstairs, lol.

god good job he doesnt live with me then he'd be constantly mute :wah:

Bill Sikes · Post by **Bill Sikes** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:13 pm

Red;552735 wrote: I had a falling out with my mam on wednesday over how LL should be disciplined.

Basically she said something totally inappropriate to me in the middle of a store as LL was having a rare but very massive temper tantrum. She fluffs around her and fusses etc whereas i wont let her screaming and shouting provoke a reaction, but she disagreed with the way i handled it, i was shocked as i think i could of done with support at the time not criticism.

We havent spoken since as she walked out of my house without so much as a goodbye which i thought was over dramatic to say the least, if family cant have a few cross words/differences without resolving it something's wrong i think.

Ignore it. Contact her at some time normal to your respective routines, and

expectations. She may contact you first! Who cares, really. If you contact

her, just chat about normal stuff which is your routine, don't refer to this

issue particularly. If she starts to discuss it, let it go ahead in a passive but

entrenched manner (be able to consider your discussions properly, though).

Your LL (??) won't be worried by whatever perceived slight there is. Neither

should you be. It's all part of life's rich pattern. If you really want to discuss

things with her, then do - but be prepared for discussions, and aware that

age is usually right!

When I sober up a bit I may edit that lot.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:14 pm

Bill Sikes;553073 wrote: Ignore it. Contact her at some time normal to your respective routines, and

expectations. She may contact you first! Who cares, really. If you contact

her, just chat about normal stuff which is your routine, don't refer to this

issue particularly. If she starts to discuss it, let it go ahead in a passive but

entrenched manner (be able to consider your discussions properly, though).

Your LL (??) won't be worried by whatever perceived slight there is. Neither

should you be. It's all part of life's rich pattern. If you really want to discuss

things with her, then do - but be prepared for discussions, and aware that

age is usually right!

When I sober up a bit I may edit that lot.

age is right my arse...lol ty bill

btw LL= littlelegs (my girl)

Red · Post by **Red** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 3:30 pm

Soberano;553086 wrote: Just don't let it fester Red. My mum died a few months ago, i held a grudge for 40 years. She asked for me on her death bed and i refused to visit. I never attended the funeral and will never visit her grave. I wish i could feel some thing, but i don't.

You see, weeks turn into months and months turn into years, and before you know it it is too late. Pride means nothing, if you love her just go see her,every thing will be fine.

thanks soberano xxxx

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 4:56 pm

Soberano;553086 wrote: Just don't let it fester Red. My mum died a few months ago, i held a grudge for 40 years. She asked for me on her death bed and i refused to visit. I never attended the funeral and will never visit her grave. I wish i could feel some thing, but i don't.

You see, weeks turn into months and months turn into years, and before you know it it is too late. Pride means nothing, if you love her just go see her,every thing will be fine.

Oh hun that's so so sad to read.

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:02 pm

crazygal;552991 wrote: I myself would slap my kid if they were like that out in public, totally the wrong thing to do but I would.

That's what we got if we acted up. Unfortunately too many places are taking "parenting" away from parents now and that's why we have so many brats in elementary school.

Red, as far as your mom goes, if she's That stubborn, that's her problem. There's no reason why LL couldn't call up her Nana to talk. You dial the phone for her and let them talk. She wouldn't be in the middle of this anyway. Your mom has to know who is the parent, and if she wants to go places with you and LL in the futrue, she should know who is in control. Period. However, advise is a good thing. If she has a suggestion, it may be a good one, but it's up to you if you want to use it or not.

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:04 pm

Rain;553194 wrote: That's what we got if we acted up. Unfortunately too many places are taking "parenting" away from parents now and that's why we have so many brats in elementary school.

Red, as far as your mom goes, if she's That stubborn, that's her problem. There's no reason why LL couldn't call up her Nana to talk. You dial the phone for her and let them talk. She wouldn't be in the middle of this anyway. Your mom has to know who is the parent, and if she wants to go places with you and LL in the futrue, she should know who is in control. Period. However, advise is a good thing. If she has a suggestion, it may be a good one, but it's up to you if you want to use it or not.

I had the Social Services on my back last year as my son told the school I slapped his leg! You'd have thought I'd have punched him or something. In the report it said there was no mark but still!

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 5:15 pm

LMHO!! NOT at what happened to you, but that your son said what he did. My grandson is constantly saying "Don't beat me!" in stores. And he tells ppl that he's smacked at home by his mom etc. I don't know where he gets this and neither does my daughter. I ask if he's watching questionable crap on TV and she says no. That he doesn't watch TV unless they all are watching it and they don't watch disrespectful trash on TV (like the Simpsons, etc.) so.... don't know.

My daughter lives in an area where ppl are vocal about "bratty, noisy" kids. A man walked up to my g-son in a Walmart once and said, "If you were MY son, I'd smack you for acting this way". G-son looked frightened at my daughter, who said, "See? I'm not the only one who doesn't like it!" he was good the rest of that day. And, ppl where she lives, they are seen swatting their kids when they need it. NOT beating! Just a swat to re-adjust them. I think that's what kids need when they act up. jmo.

But as to your son CG... I can see how this can get a parent into trouble, but... WHEN did it become ok for other's to tell us how to raise our kids?? I guess that's a whole other thread though huh.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Feb 17, 2007 10:59 pm

Arrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. This thread is pissing me off and I had to get it out of my system.

Please resume your regular activity.

Rain · Post by **Rain** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:13 am

What is it RG? :-2

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:33 am

That was just me venting without flaming anyone or causing hurt feelings, Rain.

It seems silly, huh? But it worked because I said nothing and walked away feeling pretty good. What it really is is that I don't like to hear about hitting/swatting/spanking/etc kids. I think there's a thread about that somewhere on here and boy did it get hot in there. I just ...had to say something without actually saying much. I also didn't want to highjack Red's thread.

Red · Post by **Red** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:03 am

RedGlitter;553317 wrote: That was just me venting without flaming anyone or causing hurt feelings, Rain.

It seems silly, huh? But it worked because I said nothing and walked away feeling pretty good. What it really is is that I don't like to hear about hitting/swatting/spanking/etc kids. I think there's a thread about that somewhere on here and boy did it get hot in there. I just ...had to say something without actually saying much. I also didn't want to highjack Red's thread.

np redglitter, ill just get the thread hijacking police to caution you next time it happens

Red · Post by **Red** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:04 am

I had a dream last night that id went to see my mam and she just grabbed me and hugged me! (this would NEVER happen) lol we arent really that 'close' even though we do see each other once/twice a wk, its obviously playing on my mind though

Red · Post by **Red** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:12 am

good advice almost famous, that was always my tactic when i worked in retail and came across snotty customers, made them feel so crap for being snobby to me! dont know if itll work with my mam but good advice anyway

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:16 am

Hi Red, forgive me if someone has already suggested this as i haven't read the whole thread, I have exacately the same kind of problem with my Dad, he is forever contradicting me over the children and in front of them.

I have snapped back a couple of times over the years but on the whole I just try to take a deep breath and count to a thousand:D As the kids have got older I have heard my Dad pull one of the kids on something he'd contradicted me on before, when I mentioned this to him, he said "well it's different" :-5

My kids worship their Grandparents, but for everyones sake (mine more than anyones) it's easier to just try to ignore them, just Thank them for their advise but say you have your own ideas on how LL should and will be disciplined. TBH I have turned into my mother, and have realised that I have had times where her advise has been invaluable.

Please go round to your Mums and make the peace, life really is too short for sqabbles, and the who's right and wrongs really dont matter in the long run.

My Mum is currently going through chemo and has been told that they don't think the chemo is working, will find out in a couple of weeks after next CAT scan, I would give anything to have her here for as long as possible for me and my children.

If Mum is a little stubborn, could you suggest a nice meal for the two of you, some nice bonding time.:-4

Red · Post by **Red** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:22 am

SuzyB;553442 wrote: Hi Red, forgive me if someone has already suggested this as i haven't read the whole thread, I have exacately the same kind of problem with my Dad, he is forever contradicting me over the children and in front of them.

I have snapped back a couple of times over the years but on the whole I just try to take a deep breath and count to a thousand:D As the kids have got older I have heard my Dad pull one of the kids on something he'd contradicted me on before, when I mentioned this to him, he said "well it's different" :-5

My kids worship their Grandparents, but for everyones sake (mine more than anyones) it's easier to just try to ignore them, just Thank them for their advise but say you have your own ideas on how LL should and will be disciplined. TBH I have turned into my mother, and have realised that I have had times where her advise has been invaluable.

Please go round to your Mums and make the peace, life really is too short for sqabbles, and the who's right and wrongs really dont matter in the long run.

My Mum is currently going through chemo and has been told that they don't think the chemo is working, will find out in a couple of weeks after next CAT scan, I would give anything to have her here for as long as possible for me and my children.

If Mum is a little stubborn, could you suggest a nice meal for the two of you, some nice bonding time.:-4

thanks suzy and im really sorry to hear your mums going through this. The thing with my mum is she's not someone who contradicts me ever really, and though it sounds funny this is the problem, were not that close that she feels she can just be honest with me which i would much prefer, so when she does say something she reckons she then has to skulk off in a huff instead of just dealing with it.

We havent got that kind of mother/daughter relationship where we can sit and talk unfortunately we never have had and its not about to change now, best i can hope for is she can talk civily to me for the sake of LL

I hope your mum has good news after the scan, ill keep my fingers crossed for her

xxx

Red · Post by **Red** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:23 am

almostfamous;553441 wrote: ty I hope it gets better for ya. I used to have to be under the influence of extracurriculars to be around my mom :wah: . we fought like step sisters :-5

It all got better when I moved across the state though

thats it then...i need to emigrate asap! :wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:24 am

Im sorry what was the question again ?

Red · Post by **Red** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:27 am

almostfamous;553452 wrote: I have an extra room com'n

ooohhhh im packing now!!!!!!!!!!!

Red · Post by **Red** » Sun Feb 18, 2007 7:28 am

Nomad;553451 wrote: Im sorry what was the question again ?

:wah: cheeky monkey

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 11:22 am

Rain;553201 wrote: LMHO!! NOT at what happened to you, but that your son said what he did. My grandson is constantly saying "Don't beat me!" in stores. And he tells ppl that he's smacked at home by his mom etc. I don't know where he gets this and neither does my daughter. I ask if he's watching questionable crap on TV and she says no. That he doesn't watch TV unless they all are watching it and they don't watch disrespectful trash on TV (like the Simpsons, etc.) so.... don't know.

My daughter lives in an area where ppl are vocal about "bratty, noisy" kids. A man walked up to my g-son in a Walmart once and said, "If you were MY son, I'd smack you for acting this way". G-son looked frightened at my daughter, who said, "See? I'm not the only one who doesn't like it!" he was good the rest of that day. And, ppl where she lives, they are seen swatting their kids when they need it. NOT beating! Just a swat to re-adjust them. I think that's what kids need when they act up. jmo.

But as to your son CG... I can see how this can get a parent into trouble, but... WHEN did it become ok for other's to tell us how to raise our kids?? I guess that's a whole other thread though huh.

Some people make me sick, the anit-smacking lot. I used to have a friend like that. She used to have a go at others smacking their kids, up to them! If they punch or kick them that's a totally different matter but a smacked bum or leg doesn't hurt. My mum used to wack me with a slipper, damn that stung but I don't blame her, I was a cow. :wah: