Gah....no second date

Lorca · Post by **Lorca** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 7:48 am

So I meet a woman on Match.com. We exchange a few emails and decide to meet. I gave her my number and tell her to give me a call if anything comes up. She doesn't call, but sends me her number a couple of days later. So call call her and get her answering service, so I leave a message to confirm the meet. She doesn't return the call until the day of saying she didn't get my message until that day. She's on her way, but she isn't exactly sure how to get there. I'm on my way already and we had to meet somewhere else.

By the time we got there, the place we orginally intended to go was closed. But thinking on my feet, I saw another place and took her there. We talked the whole time and I thought it didn't go badly. We had a good conversation. So I was hopeful at the end of the meet.

So I called her last night and got her answering service again. I took that as a bad sign, but I left a message again. This morning, I get another mail from her on Match and this is what it said:

Hi there-

Just wanted to say thank you for dinner and everything! You are a very sweet person and I enjoyed meeting you.

At this time, I do not feel a romantic connection between us, but I did want to say that you are very fun and kind, and I do appreciate you meeting me (after so many twists and turns!)

Best of luck to you, and also thanks for the career advice- it will come in handy!

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, we had a good time. But since she felt no sparks, no second date? I'm ok with there being no sparks, but now I feel like an ass because I called her after she sent that email!!!

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:21 am

No sparks on the first date? Gee, if I had felt that way, I would not be married to my husband right now.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 8:33 am

Marie5656;566724 wrote: No sparks on the first date? Gee, if I had felt that way, I would not be married to my husband right now.

oh well you cant win them all

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:08 am

Its always difficult for me to give intelligent perceptions about situations without knowing the age range of the people involved. There is a time in life ( until people grow) where physical attraction in the # 1 criteria for pursuing a relationship. This usually changes with time as people learn that they have missed out on knowing great matches by being hasty. It also takes a few lousy relationships with people who we fall in love with based on looks... only to discover a monster can be inside the shell. Dont feel bad about e mailing this woman. Brush it off and move on. PS The answering machine bit is very annoying, Shes probably monitoring her calls. Buth then again, thats what the machines are for, I guess.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:23 am

Lorca;566712 wrote: So I meet a woman on Match.com. We exchange a few emails and decide to meet. I gave her my number and tell her to give me a call if anything comes up. She doesn't call, but sends me her number a couple of days later. So call call her and get her answering service, so I leave a message to confirm the meet. She doesn't return the call until the day of saying she didn't get my message until that day. She's on her way, but she isn't exactly sure how to get there. I'm on my way already and we had to meet somewhere else.

By the time we got there, the place we orginally intended to go was closed. But thinking on my feet, I saw another place and took her there. We talked the whole time and I thought it didn't go badly. We had a good conversation. So I was hopeful at the end of the meet.

So I called her last night and got her answering service again. I took that as a bad sign, but I left a message again. This morning, I get another mail from her on Match and this is what it said:

Hi there-

Just wanted to say thank you for dinner and everything! You are a very sweet person and I enjoyed meeting you.

At this time, I do not feel a romantic connection between us, but I did want to say that you are very fun and kind, and I do appreciate you meeting me (after so many twists and turns!)

Best of luck to you, and also thanks for the career advice- it will come in handy!

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, we had a good time. But since she felt no sparks, no second date? I'm ok with there being no sparks, but now I feel like an ass because I called her after she sent that email!!!

Clearly she has no intention of seeking further companionship with you. She showed you the utmost respect and kindness in her reply to you. I would suggest you respect her wishes.

That said...sorry. The good news is there are literally thousands of women waiting for you. You just have to find them.

Delilah · Post by **Delilah** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 9:58 am

Sorry to hear about how your date went.

Sounds as though you're better off without her, though. It seems she never took the date seriously, by her flippant attitude and by not even bothering to pick up the phone to arrange it. There are much better matches for you, I'm sure.

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 10:32 am

Nomad;566749 wrote: Clearly she has no intention of seeking further companionship with you. She showed you the utmost respect and kindness in her reply to you. I would suggest you respect her wishes.

That said...sorry. The good news is there are literally thousands of women waiting for you. You just have to find them.

i pretty much go with nomads reply here

Delilah;566791 wrote: Sorry to hear about how your date went.

Sounds as though you're better off without her, though. It seems she never took the date seriously, by her flippant attitude and by not even bothering to pick up the phone to arrange it. There are much better matches for you, I'm sure.

your a woman what on earth makes you think your qualified to tell guys how a woman's mind works

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:23 am

Some women look for "autosparks" I guess. Some prefer a warmer, friendlier kind of relationship to start with. I think he reply was gracious and I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about by having called her. Take what she said to heart, about you being kind and a nice person because most women don't take time to lie about that stuff, and use it in your search for someone else. Best wishes! :-6

Lorca · Post by **Lorca** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:47 am

Nomad;566749 wrote: Clearly she has no intention of seeking further companionship with you. She showed you the utmost respect and kindness in her reply to you. I would suggest you respect her wishes.

That said...sorry. The good news is there are literally thousands of women waiting for you. You just have to find them.

No, I'd definitely respect her wishes. Nothing I can do to change her mind anyway. I'm just a little shocked (I know I shouldn't be) because it went surprisingly well. I guess I'm also a little shocked because she's a little older than me (I'm 29) and I'm a little past the "love at first sight" thing.

Delilah;566791 wrote: Sorry to hear about how your date went.

Sounds as though you're better off without her, though. It seems she never took the date seriously, by her flippant attitude and by not even bothering to pick up the phone to arrange it. There are much better matches for you, I'm sure.

I also thought that was a little odd when she didn't really bother to return my phone call and was a little offended. A friend talked me into going through with it anyway, that might be a why I'm a little upset too. I didn't follow my instinct.

I did send her a return email thanking her for her honesty and wishing her luck.

Oh well, on to the next one.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:49 am

Lorca;566861 wrote: No, I'd definitely respect her wishes. Nothing I can do to change her mind anyway. I'm just a little shocked (I know I shouldn't be) because it went surprisingly well. I guess I'm also a little shocked because she's a little older than me (I'm 29) and I'm a little past the "love at first sight" thing.

I did send her a return email thanking her for her honesty and wishing her luck.

Oh well, on to the next one.

that's right. I have a friend that meets men online, and she has had the same attitude, "men are like trains"....in 30 minutes there will be another one coming down the tracks...

NEXXXXT!!

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:50 am

Send her some spam............................

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:09 pm

Lorca;566861 wrote: No, I'd definitely respect her wishes. Nothing I can do to change her mind anyway. I'm just a little shocked (I know I shouldn't be) because it went surprisingly well. I guess I'm also a little shocked because she's a little older than me (I'm 29) and I'm a little past the "love at first sight" thing.

I also thought that was a little odd when she didn't really bother to return my phone call and was a little offended. A friend talked me into going through with it anyway, that might be a why I'm a little upset too. I didn't follow my instinct.

I did send her a return email thanking her for her honesty and wishing her luck.

Oh well, on to the next one.

Onwards and upwards hon.

Good luck. :-6

chonsigirl;566864 wrote: Send her some spam............................

Bad bunny! :sneaky:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:18 pm

Jeez, that sounds like she was at a buisness meeting, not a hot date, what is wrong with people nowadays. How are you supposed to respond to that.

Dear First Date.

Seeing as how (at the present time) you feel that our current "dating" strategy, does not meet the life paradigm into which you feel you should move (going forward), I completely understand all the points that you made, vis a vis our last communication. Upon reflection me response is this.

Alright then you slag, go shove it up your fat arse. Oh and you have funny teeth and your going to have bad breath when you are 41.

Best Regards

Your Date.

I think thats an entirely appropriate response. :wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 12:20 pm

abbey;566876 wrote: Onwards and upwards hon.

Good luck. :-6

Bad bunny! :sneaky:

yes I agree bad bunny girl sheesh......

Well it's a shame your date didn't pan out. Everybody here has said some good things, and Glitter hit it bang on, some people are looking for instant spark... I would bet she was one of them.

Keep trying....

I bet you will eventually have "that" date and you will be amazed at how much better it will be than this past one.

Good luck with it.

Minks

crazygal · Post by **crazygal** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 2:35 pm

Lorca;566712 wrote: So I meet a woman on Match.com. We exchange a few emails and decide to meet. I gave her my number and tell her to give me a call if anything comes up. She doesn't call, but sends me her number a couple of days later. So call call her and get her answering service, so I leave a message to confirm the meet. She doesn't return the call until the day of saying she didn't get my message until that day. She's on her way, but she isn't exactly sure how to get there. I'm on my way already and we had to meet somewhere else.

By the time we got there, the place we orginally intended to go was closed. But thinking on my feet, I saw another place and took her there. We talked the whole time and I thought it didn't go badly. We had a good conversation. So I was hopeful at the end of the meet.

So I called her last night and got her answering service again. I took that as a bad sign, but I left a message again. This morning, I get another mail from her on Match and this is what it said:

Hi there-

Just wanted to say thank you for dinner and everything! You are a very sweet person and I enjoyed meeting you.

At this time, I do not feel a romantic connection between us, but I did want to say that you are very fun and kind, and I do appreciate you meeting me (after so many twists and turns!)

Best of luck to you, and also thanks for the career advice- it will come in handy!

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is, we had a good time. But since she felt no sparks, no second date? I'm ok with there being no sparks, but now I feel like an ass because I called her after she sent that email!!!

At least she didn't lead you on and was honest. Don't give up, there must be plenty to meet on there.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 12:53 am

chonsigirl;566864 wrote: Send her some spam............................

Have I missed something ? Whatever happened to flowers ? Why spam ? Its gelatinous and icky. I think women would much rather recieve a nice box of chocolates.

foofoo stripper · Post by **foofoo stripper** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 4:28 am

Nomad;567414 wrote: Have I missed something ? Whatever happened to flowers ? Why spam ? Its gelatinous and icky. I think women would much rather recieve a nice box of chocolates.

No chocolates please! Makes us expand a little.lol But, you must keep trying, there is someone out there for you.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 9:28 am

foofoo stripper;567472 wrote: No chocolates please! Makes us expand a little.lol But, you must keep trying, there is someone out there for you.

Ok, Ill buy spam next time. I dont get it but Ill do it.