The Innuendo Thread

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:40 am

RedGlitter;577316 wrote: you men...always looking for handouts....or a hand up.

Handy,lippy,vippy we'll take it any way.

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:44 am

Openly accepting mercy are ya?

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:33 pm

I find this thread confusing. I thought innuendo was the italian for a suppository:-3

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:40 pm

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:40 pm

koan;577324 wrote: Openly accepting mercy are ya?

I take no prisoners.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:51 pm

three hots and a cot :-3

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:14 pm

don't start dragging other people into this.

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:26 pm

Successful applicants will fulfill more expectations than "hot".

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:39 pm

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

God I have competition.....oh yeah, that's what *he*said....

JacksDad · Post by **JacksDad** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:54 pm

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her

students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the

3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd

grade too!

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the

principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he

would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions

he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he

agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?

Harry: “9″.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?

Harry: “36″.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader

should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go

to the 3rd grade.

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two

of?

Harry, after a moment: “Legs.

Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?

The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: “Pockets.

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?

Harry: “Pants

Ms. Brooks: What’s starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,

delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?

Harry: “Coconut.

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and

sticky?

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the

answer.

Harry: “Bubble gum

Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down

and a dog does on three legs?

Harry: “Shake hands.

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a

lot of heat and excitement?

Harry: “Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put

Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong¦¦

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:49 am

I know. Sometimes it's hard to swallow.

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 11:57 am

sometimes you just have to choke it on down.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:10 pm

Hopefully it doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth. :wah:

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 12:19 pm

I have many acquired tastes.

I'm quite a tasteful girl. :wah:

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:30 pm

Make sure you get a good bucking before you get off the bull

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:46 pm

almostfamous;579078 wrote: What if I already got off?
Well if you got off before it starts bucking you have been lucky ,But you aint been bucked

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 12:55 pm

Well it's only an 8 second ride anyway.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:00 pm

RedGlitter;579106 wrote: Well it's only an 8 second ride anyway.
It will take a lot longer if you get bucked by my bull , the ride will last at least half hour:D

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:02 pm

will rodeo clowns be required?

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:07 pm

RedGlitter;579112 wrote: will rodeo clowns be required?

Not if you don't want a red nose As Well :driving:

minks · Post by **minks** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:41 pm

Pinky;579142 wrote: Are you saying you're a bit of an animal when you get in the ring?

and weeeee're getting off !

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:42 pm

Where do we put the rope....and must we keep one hand in the air?!

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:46 pm

Pinky;579142 wrote: Are you saying you're a bit of an animal when you get in the ring?

Talking about rings , the plaster strips on your lips won't stop my beast :yh_sweat

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 5:55 am

I would love to be a Rhino with my horn up on my head , the things I would see while butting about :-5

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 1:30 pm

Sorry I still can't think of any decent reply and it doesn't look like anyone else is so I'm bumping it up...

NEW ROUND!

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 4:31 pm

Pinky;582861 wrote: Never heard of the horn being on your head. More like your head getting the horn..

Would you be considered a "horn head"??

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 4:34 pm

Horny is a state of mind.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Mar 25, 2007 5:40 pm

That's okay. (Sometimes it's better when they don't talk)

ooooh. I'm gonna get it for that one.:wah:

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:55 am

Trouble is that when my horn gets wet it goes soft and blurs my vision

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:58 am

that's probably not the only thing blurring your vision....

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:16 am

When it is wet and soft , the female hunters leave me alone but when it is dry and stiff its bloody murder

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:08 pm

^ :-3

Bryn Mawr;576083 wrote: Would that be crosshead or Phillips?

Erm... aren't those one and the same? Phillips or Robertson generally work for me... however, don't even try and sneak up behind me with a Thomas or a Peter! :wah:

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:12 pm

You could sneak up behind me with both if you want. The more the merrier. I don't even need to know their names.

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:16 pm

You can call mine whatever you want Koan, in that case... if you're unsure, Dick will do!

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:18 pm

But can I call it at any time of day or night?

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:20 pm

You can reach out and touch me, ANYtime!

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:23 pm

I'm hoping that I won't have to reach too far out. A girl's gotta have her standards.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:25 pm

overlook me....

Attached files

G-man · Post by **G-man** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:42 pm

koan;590927 wrote: I'm hoping that I won't have to reach too far out. A girl's gotta have her standards.

I believe you'll be pleased... even without "the network"...

And Guppy... you always seem so sweet and innocent... I didn't know you were into voyeurism you naughty lil' fishy, you! I don't mind,though... in fact... it kinda' turns me on knowing there's an audience... I don't know if I'll be able to over look that fact in that dating game thread...

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:44 pm

Long distance and love can work well when we are talking inches.

Post by **spot** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:45 pm

Overlook, guppy? I thought fish were meant to be speared.

While I've got your attention - have you told everyone what you caught on holiday yet?