Punny Jobs

Dizz · Post by **Dizz** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:10 pm

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it -mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT, AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! :wah:

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:17 pm

Why not volunteer? I hear it's a free-for-all.

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 8:45 am

:wah:

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 3:15 am

I wanted to be a pilot, but I just couldn't fly straight at the time.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:02 pm

All I could come up with:

I tried to be a milk maid, but it was utterly impossible!

cute thread....

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat Jan 27, 2007 7:29 pm

Dizz;395884 wrote:

I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I thought about being a fisherman too,

but I had a reel problem when I discovered it wasn't my line of work either.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:10 am

Was going to be a magician too, but I didn't get my act together in time.

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 4:46 am

Wanted to be news anchor, but could not stand the press.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 5:15 am

:yh_think

I was pondering being a professional soccer player, but I couldn't get a leg up on the competition.

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:26 am

Wanted to make mirrors, but I just can't see myself doing it. Guess I just have to sit back and reflect awhile.

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:28 am

I was a doctor, but I did not have the patience.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:32 am

I thought about being a dump truck driver, but I soon found out that the boss was full of crap.

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:34 am

Wanted to be a teacher, but I had no class.

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:36 am

Wanted to be a guiter player, but I could'nt pull any strings.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:43 am

You think there's any money in being a cashier?

Dizz · Post by **Dizz** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 6:47 pm

I wanted to sell lumber for a while, but I just couldn't nail it.

I had a nursery, but it just went to pot.

I was a vet, but my customers were going to the dogs.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 5:23 am

pompom;533031 wrote: I would've been an optician if I'd had the right contacts

Really?

That's too bad...You have the eye for it.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 5:27 am

pompom;534825 wrote: Yeah but I would probably have made a spectacle of myself

I would have envisioned you to be quite good at it actually.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Tue Jan 30, 2007 5:44 am

pompom;534829 wrote: That's because you have such insight, K

An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 11:42 pm

Pinky;534837 wrote: I had a friend who was a painter and decorator, but she kept getting plastered:D

That sounds about like a garbage job I had...Boss fired me for getting trashed.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 4:59 pm

Soberano;568276 wrote: When i lost my job as a fisherman i was gutted, i fell for that job hook line and sinker. The other chaps on the trawler tried to bait me. Then one day the trawler floundered.

I did have a job as a coffin maker (true). A dead end job and always feeling stiff.

Yeah,..I tried my hand at being a fisherman, but I was fired because all I wanted to do was hook up with my girlfriend...

Told me I was way out of line...

uv_lightmyway · Post by **uv_lightmyway** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 9:34 pm

I wanted to be a computer programmer, but the job bytes.

Then I thought about being a mortician, but I just didn't want to get buried with work.

Then I though about being a lawyer, but I am a casual guy and just couldn't do suits everyday.

But I will become a professional musician...it's about the only job I can stanza. (terrible!)

uv_lightmyway · Post by **uv_lightmyway** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 9:43 pm

I always thought about being an architect, but my education just doesn't have the foundation...plus I couldn't support going back to school...

edge2125 · Post by **edge2125** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 11:16 pm

I wanted to be a golfer, but i just couldnt swing it.

I tried to be a guide for the blind, but i didnt see it through.