Assault in the Supermarket!!

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:03 am

So ... I am at the local supermarket with my two children picking up a few essentials.

We were stuck at the end of an aisle waiting for a little old lady to move so I could go down it and buy my coffee. A rather scary looking women looked straight at me and said 'You better get moving'! I 'sweetly' pointed out that I was trying to - but was waiting for the old lady to move. She then launched at me saying 'you better not get smart with me I am a gangster from ... (large city in US). As my trolley was loaded only with bread (not a gun, flick knife and hand grenade in site - although those can be purchased next to the meat counter

) - I quickly vacated the area.

I was just wondering if it was my charming personality - or has anyone else experienced 'Supermarket Rage' :wah: :wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:10 am

Heres what I would have done. With blinding speed I would have snatched the mustard from my cart and given her a squirt. Then I'd slap some salami on the side of her face, thrown some lettuce leaf on her wig, shove a pickle in her pie hole, two slices of bread upside the head and made a sandwich out of her.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:12 am

:wah:

What nerve of the lady?

I would have told her, "This is a drive by" and rolled her over with my cart!

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:22 am

They are both good ideas - maybe if I go back today, she will still be waiting for me - although she may have gathered more gang members and ammo.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:24 am

ThePheasant;589818 wrote:

They are both good ideas - maybe if I go back today, she will still be waiting for me - although she may have gathered more gang members and ammo.

If you do go back you might as well bring dessert with you.

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:24 am

magenta flame;589816 wrote: who the heck goes around telling people they are gangsters?

sounds more like a nutter to me .:wah:

Yes - my thoughts exactly. She looked like she might know ALL the gang members - WELL - VERY VERY WELL :wah: :wah:

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:43 am

i get homicidal when they run out of sprouts..:-3

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:46 am

zinkyusa;589839 wrote: i get homicidal when they run out of sprouts..:-3

:wah: I think they had run out of sprouts!! Not in any gangs are you? :wah: :wah:

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:47 am

ThePheasant;589841 wrote: :wah: I think they had run out of sprouts!! Not in any gangs are you? :wah: :wah:

indeed i am, i live in a cave with about 20 million other bats...:sneaky:

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:48 am

magenta flame;589843 wrote: sprouts gives me wind:-3

ewe...

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:50 am

ThePheasant;589807 wrote: So ... I am at the local supermarket with my two children picking up a few essentials.

We were stuck at the end of an aisle waiting for a little old lady to move so I could go down it and buy my coffee. A rather scary looking women looked straight at me and said 'You better get moving'! I 'sweetly' pointed out that I was trying to - but was waiting for the old lady to move. She then launched at me saying 'you better not get smart with me I am a gangster from ... (large city in US). As my trolley was loaded only with bread (not a gun, flick knife and hand grenade in site - although those can be purchased next to the meat counter

) - I quickly vacated the area.

I was just wondering if it was my charming personality - or has anyone else experienced 'Supermarket Rage' :wah:

:wah: Welcome to New Jersey!!:wah:

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:01 am

WonderWendy3;589849 wrote: :wah: Welcome to New Jersey!!:wah:

Thanks - I think she was lonely and it was her way of opening up the conversation so that we could become 'sole mates' :wah: :wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:07 am

magenta flame;589843 wrote: sprouts gives me wind:-3

This changes everything.

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:23 am

magenta flame;589868 wrote: Why don't you love me anymore?:yh_cry

his opinions change with the wind:-3

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:37 am

I was in the candy - chip isle (my favorite isle according to my thighs). Any way I noticed this well dressed young man in a previous isle. He's lucky I wasn't in the can goods - I turned around and he was unzipped & busy..!! My left arm swung back to slap his face I yelled - cussed he ran out of the store. True story

See candy & chips do more than you think..

Patsy

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:43 am

Patsy Warnick;589876 wrote: I was in the candy - chip isle (my favorite isle according to my thighs). Any way I noticed this well dressed young man in a previous isle. He's lucky I wasn't in the can goods - I turned around and he was unzipped & busy..!! My left arm swung back to slap his face I yelled - cussed he ran out of the store. True story

See candy & chips do more than you think..

Patsy

Ouch, my bottom lip hit the desk!!

Was he Pee Wee Herman's brother??

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:48 am

Patsy Warnick;589876 wrote: I was in the candy - chip isle (my favorite isle according to my thighs). Any way I noticed this well dressed young man in a previous isle. He's lucky I wasn't in the can goods - I turned around and he was unzipped & busy..!! My left arm swung back to slap his face I yelled - cussed he ran out of the store. True story

See candy & chips do more than you think..

Patsy

I bet it was the Lays chips - does it every time !!

zinkyusa · Post by **zinkyusa** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:49 am

ThePheasant;589886 wrote: I bet it was the Lays chips - does it every time !!

:yh_rotfl

el guapo · Post by **el guapo** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:51 am

just this morning i was in B and Q and a man in a orange boiler suit asked if i wanted decking

i was quick and got the first punch in

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:56 am

Exciting - this crap happens to me all the time - I'm a magnet for perverts.

This guy didn't have time to zip up.

Patsy

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 6:57 am

bornbad;589891 wrote: just this morning i was in B and Q and a man in a orange boiler suit asked if i wanted decking

i was quick and got the first punch in

see you should of shopped at Homebase (Home Depot if in USA)!!

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:01 am

Patsy Warnick;589904 wrote: Exciting - this crap happens to me all the time - I'm a magnet for perverts.

This guy didn't have time to zip up.

Patsy

Must not be a busy store?? Boy in the state that is for "Lovers" (Virginia) He'd probably get a few phone numbers!!

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:04 am

Then I went to report this - I went up to this guy, big guy, he had a name tag on, I said that guy who just ran out blah - blah- blah and he didn't have time to zip up. I said do you work here - the big guy said NO, I work at Circuit City (Electronics store) We laughed - I said, well he's definetly unplugged.. What a srewed up day...!!

True story

Patsy

Pheasy · Post by **Pheasy** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:14 am

Patsy Warnick;589876 wrote: I was in the candy - chip isle (my favorite isle according to my thighs). Any way I noticed this well dressed young man in a previous isle. He's lucky I wasn't in the can goods - I turned around and he was unzipped & busy..!! My left arm swung back to slap his face I yelled - cussed he ran out of the store. True story

See candy & chips do more than you think..

Patsy

See.... I told you no good would come of lurking in the candy aisle naked .. some people never learn :wah: :wah:

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:25 am

This one store had chicken on sale (whole chickens). So, I'm putting 3 in my cart and this old fart says - lady you have enough - save some for someone else.!!

I said - old fart - go home and take a nap - don't worry whats in my cart.

People can be so rude

Patsy

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:29 am

Patsy Warnick;589925 wrote: This one store had chicken on sale (whole chickens). So, I'm putting 3 in my cart and this old fart says - lady you have enough - save some for someone else.!!

I said - old fart - go home and take a nap - don't worry whats in my cart.

People can be so rude

Patsy

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

Patsy....you are killing me today.... :yh_rotfl

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:36 am

I was in a thrift store browsing - there was this guy wearing those some what silky shorts and carrying a book. This guy rubs up against me, I didn't know if I felt him or that hard cover book he was carrying. I stepped back and watched him he was getting his pleasure from rubbing up against women

and the book was his cover.. I had no idea who to report that to...!!!

Patsy

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:46 am

magenta flame;589935 wrote: ooh ooh mr cottarrrrrr I got one ..I went to an all girls school and there was a guy just outside it who looked liked he was broken down he was under his car fixing something and his willy was hanging out for all the girls to see as we went out the gate to go home......we later found out he lived next door to the school and there were reports of him taking his garbage out during out luch breaks in the nuddy.

See I missed that too

So, you always lived in a closet??

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:57 am

magenta flame;589843 wrote: sprouts gives me wind:-3

Ditto :wah: we must get together and make some music , are you base , baritone or tenor , I am a tenor myself :guitarist

Sweet Tooth · Post by **Sweet Tooth** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:06 am

While in college, all 1 semester of it, I was at Mickey D's with 2 friends eating and this old man walks in and gets food and sits across from us on the stools some have. Then he kept trying to slip hos gonads out of his shorts and show us! Finally, I went and told the manager and he asked him to leave! That was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me, EVER!